I cleared all my debts, but i am in depression

113 replies
Hi warriors,
I am in very very strange situation. Few years back, i saw shiny ad "Make money online".It was so tempting. I focussed my entire attention on it. At that time, i had lot of debts on my head, plus my monthly salary wasnt that good. Those were hard financial time for me. Me and my gf wanted to marry, but we had very less financial resources.

Cut to present situation. I have cleared my $30k debt, cleared my all credit card debts. I got money now for my marriage. Me and my gf will get marry next winters. I have savings and i can easily live for next 3 years. I am not saying, i am rich. Not by any short, but financially, things are pretty easy.

Since my childhood, i havnt seen such a financial ease. But now, my problem is, i have lost all the motivation to work. The energy, spark and fire from inside, its all just gone now. I feel so much lack of energy now. I have started sleeping 10 hours a day. I just wake up, read forums , chat here and there, talk to my parents and youner sister. Meet me gf in evening and then i just go to bed.

There is no motivation at all. When i try to work , everything feel so hard.

May be first time in my life, i dont need to work for money and this situation is driving me crazy. I feel so much dense now. What should i do in this situation?

On the contrary,i should enjoy my work now as i have no financial stress on my brain. But its just opposite. I am not that greedy, i always thought i want huge cars and all the flashy stuff. But now i am happy in my middle class income. No material stuff attracts me.

I know, i can make lot of money, but because of my lazy behavior, i am slowly getting into depression. I just yell at my gf for no reason. She find it awkward as now we are going to get marry, there is no reason to be depressed. But , i just fail to explain to her, that i want to work non stop 8 hours per day. But because of lack of motivation, i just cant do it and thats making me a depressed person.

How to get out of this situation?
#cleared #debts #depression
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Brian
    I have been in the same situation, I solved it by outsourcing the things I hate.

    Things I do:

    - Niche Research
    - Site Dev't (since I am a web developer by profession I prefer to do it myself)

    Things I outsource:

    - Article Writing
    - Backlinks

    PS. I know what it feels like to be so motivated before you sleep, you think of the niches you like to work on but the next morning you feel lazy making it happen. Just outsource it!
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2931746].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
      Originally Posted by Mark Brian View Post

      I have been in the same situation, I solved it by outsourcing the things I hate.

      Things I do:

      - Niche Research
      - Site Dev't (since I am a web developer by profession I prefer to do it myself)

      Things I outsource:

      - Article Writing
      - Backlinks

      PS. I know what it feels like to be so motivated before you sleep, you think of the niches you like to work on but the next morning you feel lazy making it happen. Just outsource it!
      Nice advice.. You should also transfer those negative energy to something out like lifting weight or running around your house. Have a few pictures of what you want in front of your comp and a to do list next to you to keep you motivated. Good luck buddy!
      Signature
      I offer CPA coaching and investment opportunities for those SERIOUSLY interested in making money directly or indirectly with affiliate marketing. PM me for details.


      Read More about CPA/Affiliate Marketing on my Blog
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2934751].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
        Originally Posted by JustinDupre View Post

        Nice advice.. You should also transfer those negative energy to something out like lifting weight or running around your house. Have a few pictures of what you want in front of your comp and a to do list next to you to keep you motivated. Good luck buddy!
        I didnt go to gym today. I didnt move out of my house. Hmmm i have to motivate myself little more. Though after all your kind posts, i am feeling little better.

        Thanks
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2935300].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author laganja
      Originally Posted by Mark Brian View Post

      I have been in the same situation, I solved it by outsourcing the things I hate.

      Things I do:

      - Niche Research
      - Site Dev't (since I am a web developer by profession I prefer to do it myself)

      Things I outsource:

      - Article Writing
      - Backlinks

      PS. I know what it feels like to be so motivated before you sleep, you think of the niches you like to work on but the next morning you feel lazy making it happen. Just outsource it!

      nay success with having backlinks built? is it hekpful for seo significsantly?
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3420989].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tylerdrun
    Get some exercise... Probably something challenging. Take up kickboxing classes or something like that...

    And take a vacation for a week or so with your girlfriend or family... I'm where you were financially when you were young. So even I sometimes wonder, "If I get too rich and have a girlfriend whom I really love then what's the point of working again"...

    Then I realized I am selling myself short. Think of the people who would need your help and start helping them.. That'll make you feel better.

    Help someone who is truly in need.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2931833].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author shadow_wolf013
      I second the take a vacation idea Tylerdrun presented. A little time away together will help you clear your mind, and when you get back give yourself an objective. I know you said material posessions dont do much for you, i think the same way.

      But, perhaps the objective should be to add another year to that safety net? It sounds like something you should be able to do, and with a clear cut goal you may find it easier (and better) to work with it.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2931882].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author bluewillow
        Originally Posted by shadow_wolf013 View Post


        But, perhaps the objective should be to add another year to that safety net? It sounds like something you should be able to do, and with a clear cut goal you may find it easier (and better) to work with it.
        Add the safety net. It's a great idea. Vacation idea is great too. Maybe it will give you some really awesome ideas!

        If you're really depressed, see a doctor. Once you find the right happy pills, the work.
        Signature
        Take a short survey. No sales pitch.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2972919].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author rickcast66
      Originally Posted by tylerdrun View Post

      Then I realized I am selling myself short. Think of the people who would need your help and start helping them.. That'll make you feel better.

      Help someone who is truly in need.
      This is a good way to be.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3382126].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
    Seriously, now i have money to go to my favorite holiday resorts. I have no motivation to go there. Its really funny, you crave for something for so long and when you have all the resources to have it. Some voice pops up and say "Dont do it, eventually it will also become a boring thing".

    I sometime wonder, should i need to get out of my home? I rarely talk to outsiders. I only talk to my parents, one friend and one gf. I think may be sitting, working, thinking in one room is making me sick. I should go out , talk to some people. Like somebody said, i should join gym and try to socialize a bit.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2931890].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author shadow_wolf013
      Originally Posted by ankur sharma View Post

      Seriously, now i have money to go to my favorite holiday resorts. I have no motivation to go there. Its really funny, you crave for something for so long and when you have all the resources to have it. Some voice pops up and say "Dont do it, eventually it will also become a boring thing".

      I sometime wonder, should i need to get out of my home? I rarely talk to outsiders. I only talk to my parents, one friend and one gf. I think may be sitting, working, thinking in one room is making me sick. I should go out , talk to some people. Like somebody said, i should join gym and try to socialize a bit.

      If thats the case, then yes socialization is probably your best bet. Go out, enjoy yourself. You'll probably find it improves your overall outlook on things.

      Edit: Alternativley, i find myself in that same mindset at times. If you want to talk about it im generally availible to chat through the day.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932039].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
        Originally Posted by shadow_wolf013 View Post

        If thats the case, then yes socialization is probably your best bet. Go out, enjoy yourself. You'll probably find it improves your overall outlook on things.
        I ask you, you work only for money? If not, what makes you leave your bed in morning and work hard on your upcoming projects? Success of achieving something?Helping others? How you motivate yourself? Or its just money.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932047].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          You are right - it's not about money.

          It's about people and the things you need and the things you want. You worked hard because you needed to climb out of debt and you had certain things in life that were goals for you.

          People post a lot abut "my dreams" but seldom does anyone mention what happened once the dream becomes reality. I think your lack of motivation is what can happen.

          Maybe you need new goals. Perhaps being able to help others or to create scholarships or provide aid to people in need might motivate you.

          Perhaps you need a bigger dream for yourself. A second home for vacations, a college fund for your children or retirement savings to allow you to stop working at a certain age...

          Some people are motivated by money - but many of us are motivated by dreams and goals or by simple necessity. If you find it hard to work after reaching a goal - take some time off and find a bigger goal to aim for.

          kay
          Signature
          Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
          ***
          One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
          what it is instead of what you think it should be.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932072].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
            Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

            You are right - it's not about money.

            It's about people and the things you need and the things you want. You worked hard because you needed to climb out of debt and you had certain things in life that were goals for you.

            People post a lot abut "my dreams" but seldom does anyone mention what happened once the dream becomes reality. I think your lack of motivation is what can happen.

            Maybe you need new goals. Perhaps being able to help others or to create scholarships or provide aid to people in need might motivate you.

            Perhaps you need a bigger dream for yourself. A second home for vacations, a college fund for your children or retirement savings to allow you to stop working at a certain age...

            Some people are motivated by money - but many of us are motivated by dreams and goals or by simple necessity. If you find it hard to work after reaching a goal - take some time off and find a bigger goal to aim for.

            kay
            You are so right. "Aim" , right now, i have no aim which motivates me enough to work hard. I have to see what can create that spark again inside me. I think now, i have to totally shift my brain. Previously, empty bank account was lot of motivation.
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932093].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author shadow_wolf013
          Personally?

          Currently, i am motivated by much the same drive you experienced initially. I have not however, met with the same success lol.

          But, money is not the be all end all to me, it is simply what i need. I get out of bed in the morning because i present myself with a challenge. That challenge varys day by day, some days i set out to make more money then i did the day before. Perhaps to write out one more article then i did the day before. Things like that.

          Helping people is good too, i generally give myself a little time during the day to try and help someone else. It can serve as a powerfull motivator most of the time, and can be very uplifting on off days.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932087].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Paul.Estcott
          Originally Posted by ankur sharma View Post

          I ask you, you work only for money? If not, what makes you lave your bed in morning and work hard on your upcoming projects? Success of achieving something?Helping others? How you motivate yourself? Or its just money.
          Well it depends. Some of us are working for a career we are not financial motivated but our profession is what motivates us. Others work just for money. Someone smart said once that you can not do something you do not like for your entire life. Is that what you are doing? You have started making money just to solve your problems? not because you like it?

          I think first of all you need to get out of your house and socialize, but not alone, together with your gf. Secondly you should definitely try to do somethings that you really like. As it is said above, you can outsource everything that you are doing (for a while) and do something that you really like. The most important thing is communication so, please get out of your house. In this way you will also see how hard is for the others and may be in that way you will appreciate again what you have. Good Luck!!!
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932120].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LeeLee
    [DELETED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932204].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Tor86
      Originally Posted by LeeLee View Post

      or try antidepressants
      BAD ADVICE!!!!!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3109437].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author StephanieMojica
    A lot of people struggle with depression.

    Here's some tools that helped me through my own battles:

    1) Meditation.
    2) Yoga.
    3) Therapy.
    4) Life coaching.
    5) Medications.
    6) Self-help reading.
    7) Self-help groups.
    8) Dancing.
    9) Walking.
    10) Vacation.
    11) Yoga.
    12) Taking more vitamins. (fish oil and B12 really helps me out!)
    13) Outsourcing tasks I dislike.

    But yes, please, if you become seriously depressed or suicidal call a doctor, go to the hospital or call the local emergency hotline in your country.

    Peace, love, happiness and of course PROSPERITY,
    Stephanie
    Signature
    Are you still struggling to grow your Internet business income? Learn the secrets that increased my income 700%--and can do the same for you--in my free report "5 Business Prosperity Secrets." Go here now to download your copy at no cost to you...http://www.businessprosperitysecrets.com
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932727].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2932798].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author KatyaSenina
      Seriously, if only you knew how many people right now want to be in your position financially. I think you have all the resources but you lack imagination.

      Try to really think about what you want in life, what you enjoy and what you want to accomplish in life. There is so much you can do to the point where money is no limitation. Obviously money is not an issue so find a hobby, get out there (sitting at home all day is boring), make friends, go out with your girlfriend, party, travel and see the world. Enjoy life.

      That's what life is supposed to be!!!

      May I ask you, where did you find the motivation and strength before when times were rough?

      MAN SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO LIMITS TO WHAT YOU CAN DO! You're truly in a powerful position, yet you feel weak. Your life can be awesome. Think about it.

      Somewhere I get the feeling you're looking for meaning or a purpose in life.
      I think you have to do a little soul searching and find the strength to keep going again. Plan your day full of activities. Be outgoing. Try to get out of that lazy, daunting routine.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2933002].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
        Originally Posted by KatyaSenina View Post

        Seriously, if only you knew how many people right now want to be in your position financially. I think you have all the resources but you lack imagination.

        Try to really think about what you want in life, what you enjoy and what you want to accomplish in life. There is so much you can do to the point where money is no limitation. Obviously money is not an issue so find a hobby, get out there (sitting at home all day is boring), make friends, go out with your girlfriend, party, travel and see the world. Enjoy life.

        That's what life is supposed to be!!!

        May I ask you, where did you find the motivation and strength before when times were rough?

        MAN SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO LIMITS TO WHAT YOU CAN DO! You're truly in a powerful position, yet you feel weak. Your life can be awesome. Think about it.

        Somewhere I get the feeling you're looking for meaning or a purpose in life.
        I think you have to do a little soul searching and find the strength to keep going again. Plan your day full of activities. Be outgoing. Try to get out of that lazy, daunting routine.
        Thanks for all the wonderful replies. Well, i did some meditation that gave me lot of strength. I have even stopped doing that. But i guess biggest motivation is when you realize "You will cease to survive if you wont work".

        Constant fear of losing your home or the whole world will laugh at your misery, at first both of these created paralysis effect in me. But slowly and slowly i promised myself, i would work.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2933364].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author rcritchett
    This is a very important post! Thank you for sharing your situation with us, I respect you for that. I believe that the first thing you could start engaging in, is untraining those negative mantras, or thoughts about yourself, and begin to train into your brain different thoughts. Write down on paper, what kind of internal communication you'd like to have. Then, actually create images in your mind of you thinking those thoughts. How would you look? Then, understand that your habits, are not you, they're not your identity, just a habit in your body. Isn't that a different perspective? Heck yea! And lastly, learn to control your state. State is the condition you're in at any given moment, which is another way of saying how you feel. If you're constantly in states of depression, where your brain isn't firing off as much, and your body is slumped over, not active, you actually train yourself at a neurological level to do that more. Knowing that, start training peak states into your body. Like someone else posted, start exercising, and get really intense when you do it. That releases powerful neurochemicals that really make the difference in the way you feel. Start imaging in your mind, the kinds of things you'd like to create and whatever thoughts that come to mind that are counteractive to what you want, write them all down, and challenge them each individually until you have taken the sting out of them, and you can now implement a different thought. Once you have a different thought, that is the opposite of what limited you, train it into your mind by consciously thinking it, by DIRECTING YOURSELF to hold it in your awareness, and by embodying it everyday. The last thing is this: Leave the limitation behind. So many times, we start to "own" our limitations, because it gives us a reason why we're not achieving. That limitation is not you, after you challenge it, leave it behind. The new you emerges, you have massive power, you have the brain to create what you want, the strength in your body to reinforce it, and the resolve to make it permanent. LIVE LIFE ON YOUR TERMS, and win the argument in your head.
    Signature

    We do mail-in iPhone Repair Services, Nationwide in the US. LCD/Digitizer Glass Replacement And More.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2933514].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author KatyaSenina
      Great advice on how to overcome depression.

      Very helpful for me as well.


      Originally Posted by rcritchett View Post

      This is a very important post! Thank you for sharing your situation with us, I respect you for that. I believe that the first thing you could start engaging in, is untraining those negative mantras, or thoughts about yourself, and begin to train into your brain different thoughts. Write down on paper, what kind of internal communication you'd like to have. Then, actually create images in your mind of you thinking those thoughts. How would you look? Then, understand that your habits, are not you, they're not your identity, just a habit in your body. Isn't that a different perspective? Heck yea! And lastly, learn to control your state. State is the condition you're in at any given moment, which is another way of saying how you feel. If you're constantly in states of depression, where your brain isn't firing off as much, and your body is slumped over, not active, you actually train yourself at a neurological level to do that more. Knowing that, start training peak states into your body. Like someone else posted, start exercising, and get really intense when you do it. That releases powerful neurochemicals that really make the difference in the way you feel. Start imaging in your mind, the kinds of things you'd like to create and whatever thoughts that come to mind that are counteractive to what you want, write them all down, and challenge them each individually until you have taken the sting out of them, and you can now implement a different thought. Once you have a different thought, that is the opposite of what limited you, train it into your mind by consciously thinking it, by DIRECTING YOURSELF to hold it in your awareness, and by embodying it everyday. The last thing is this: Leave the limitation behind. So many times, we start to "own" our limitations, because it gives us a reason why we're not achieving. That limitation is not you, after you challenge it, leave it behind. The new you emerges, you have massive power, you have the brain to create what you want, the strength in your body to reinforce it, and the resolve to make it permanent. LIVE LIFE ON YOUR TERMS, and win the argument in your head.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2933574].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
      Originally Posted by rcritchett View Post

      This is a very important post! Thank you for sharing your situation with us, I respect you for that. I believe that the first thing you could start engaging in, is untraining those negative mantras, or thoughts about yourself, and begin to train into your brain different thoughts. Write down on paper, what kind of internal communication you'd like to have. Then, actually create images in your mind of you thinking those thoughts. How would you look? Then, understand that your habits, are not you, they're not your identity, just a habit in your body. Isn't that a different perspective? Heck yea! And lastly, learn to control your state. State is the condition you're in at any given moment, which is another way of saying how you feel. If you're constantly in states of depression, where your brain isn't firing off as much, and your body is slumped over, not active, you actually train yourself at a neurological level to do that more. Knowing that, start training peak states into your body. Like someone else posted, start exercising, and get really intense when you do it. That releases powerful neurochemicals that really make the difference in the way you feel. Start imaging in your mind, the kinds of things you'd like to create and whatever thoughts that come to mind that are counteractive to what you want, write them all down, and challenge them each individually until you have taken the sting out of them, and you can now implement a different thought. Once you have a different thought, that is the opposite of what limited you, train it into your mind by consciously thinking it, by DIRECTING YOURSELF to hold it in your awareness, and by embodying it everyday. The last thing is this: Leave the limitation behind. So many times, we start to "own" our limitations, because it gives us a reason why we're not achieving. That limitation is not you, after you challenge it, leave it behind. The new you emerges, you have massive power, you have the brain to create what you want, the strength in your body to reinforce it, and the resolve to make it permanent. LIVE LIFE ON YOUR TERMS, and win the argument in your head.

      Thanks for this post. I will go to gym today and start exercising. Right now, my whole digestion system is disturbed, my stomach is so much bloated. I guess its because i am thinking too much.

      So, i am going to do these things today

      1) Go to gym and do some exercise

      2) Try to hold my thoughts. I will keep reminding myself, its better situation and not worse.

      3) Work on one of my project.

      At the end of day, i will post how i feel after exercising.

      Thanks
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2933590].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Clubland
    Should go out a lot more.

    Outsource everything you hate doing.

    Spend two days setting up campaigns, outsource the rest.

    And the other 5 days, gym, mini breaks, scuba dive, romantic nights out with gf, etc.

    Live life to the full. Or you'll fall hard.
    Signature

    "Affiliate marketing has made businesses millions and ordinary people millionaires." - Bo Bennett

    "The Internet is the Viagra of big business." - Jack Welch

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2935493].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author naruq
      First I would Like to congratulate you for eliminating your debt. You should spend some time in self reflection and find out what are your important goals at this time in your life. Congratulations to you and your girlfriend on getting married.
      Signature

      Please do not use affiliate links in signatures

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2935773].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author PLR Basket
    What's your definitive chief aim in life?


    I'm asking that because depression always comes from a lack of clarity.
    If you're clear about what you want to get out of life and plan towards
    it's achievement, you'll feel more motivated.


    Money is not a motivation. Money doesn't mean anything. It's what you
    do with money that really counts.


    Try to think about what you really wanted to do as a child. If you're not
    doing that, ask yourself why. Children are closer to their true self than
    most adults. They have a clearer understanding of why they're on this
    earth.


    Maybe you were put on this earth for contemplation. Maybe you were
    born to be a spiritual leader or something, how knows? You just have to
    find your way and set up definitive plans towards it's achievement. With
    every success, you'll feel closer to your true self and you'll wake up
    energized and motivated to do more.


    Clarity will set your free, believe me...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2935815].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author KatyaSenina
      Originally Posted by Mr Right View Post

      Money is not a motivation. Money doesn't mean anything. It's what you
      do with money that really counts.
      Great reply. I was thinking the same.. Money sitting in the bank will not make you happy. Not even if you spend it on material things. It's what you do with it... money is great to create opportunities and LIFE EXPERIENCES. Whereas before you couldn't do something because of lack of money like travelling or getting on that hobby, right now the OP obviously has all the resources, but he obviously doesn't know what to us it for.

      Also, when it comes to work. There is nothing wrong with taking a break and not working for a while. Nomatter what career you pursue it will only be something you'll not be putting off to do ONLY if you truly love what you do!

      Perhaps the OP needs to revise his goals and really ask himself whether IM is the right career choice for him. I'm sure he got on this opportunity before because of debt and because he didn't really had a choice. Now he has all the money he doesn't really feel the necesitty to work. I wonder whether the OP truly loves IM in general. But on the other hand it could be anything... maybe you're in the wrong niche...

      It could be really anything that makes us put off work and not take action when we don't feel obligated.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2937144].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DJ Hughes
    Find someone else who needs help, whether it is financial or otherwise. Helping others that NEED help in a big way, can be the best thing to give you focus and direction.

    If you happen to meet someone that could use more income and in conversation find they may be interested in what you did to get there, help them out. If you meet anyone that just needs help with anything: painting a room, moving boxes, or anything else, help them. See where doing things for others takes you (like you`re doing for me in the other post for an ebook cover), but step away from the computer to help people. You will find clarity of purpose and motivation again.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2936396].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author pmt3
      I agree with DJ Hughes, and one of the best ways to help others is to volunteer. Find some volunteer work that interests you and not only will you be helping others, but you might learn a lot about yourself. Helping people less fortunate than yourself can put your problems in perspective, and perhaps motivate you to work harder not just for yourself, but so that you can make some charitable contributions in the future.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2936506].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
    One gentleman asked me how i cleared my debt. Thats what worked for me.


    Personally, few things helped me a lot. May be it come out as worthless things to you, but it worked for me.

    1) Meditation - This works wonder if you do it correctly. I highly recommend art of living meditation course from sri ravishankar. Great course and if you are in stress, it got some amazing instant result. Higher than this is is vipassna course, but thats too dramatic. I mean you will loose interest in all worldly things.

    2) I had one issue earlier, my spending habbits were very bad. I was known to spend without using my brain. Once i was reading marketing book. It had one great example. It was some movie director wanted dog to act in movie. When director said "action" dog has to move his tail in specific direction. How they did it, the trainer rang a bell, when dog move his tail , he will be given some nice food. When dog wont move his tail, he will get no food. After several tries, dog slowly learnt, that if he will move his tail in specific direction, he will get good food. Thats how "pleasure" with specific action was connected in dog's brain.

    This principle till date is used in marketing world. I mean, when we see any commercial, what we see a nice sexy female endorsing some product. They play it all day long and try to create neuro path in our brain, which connects "coke" with happiness. Or any other product with some emotion. When we go to mall, we see that product. Our unconscious brain tells us, if we get that product our brain will feel good. Thats how our society today purchase so many stuff. We have been taught in this capitalist world, if we need pleasure happiness, we have to purchase new product.

    This story had huge effect on me. At the same time, i wondered why people were so happy thousands years back. Even my grandma use to be so happy. Because their brain behavior wasnt set according to way modern economy want us to behave.

    Thats where i started giving my brain signal, my happiness lies in something else. Whenever i feel urge to buy something, i tell my brain "How many things you have purchased in past? Did their pleasure last long? Lets go to friend's house and chat with him, have a beer". Slowly and slowly, i was out of bad spending habits. So much so, i havnt purchased single piece of cloth in last 2 years. Lol, i am changing that extreme position now.

    3) I didnt believe in making promise to yourself, i will repay so and so money, back to bank to repay my debt. I dont think about it. I work and only on 1st of every month, i think whats minimum i am required to survive. Then, maximum chunk of my money, i withdraw from my paypal account and repay the loan. Thats all, after 2nd of every month. I dont think about money. Plus, when i feel sad, that wish i wont have paid the debt and that money, i would have used to get latest iphone or mac. I just remind myself of do's story.

    4)Creativity - I need pleasure. I set up a goal. Like i always wanted to learn swimming. I use to go swimming daily. Main idea is get involved in some creative thing. Something you want to learn. I want to learn lot of things in life. That also helps you a lot in tough time. When you are remoulding your brain.


    Thanks
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2937957].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LeeLee
    [DELETED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2938477].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
      Originally Posted by LeeLee View Post

      Damn I missed it. Have you ever discussed bipolar disorder with a health professional? What makes me ask this is your excessive spending. It is a very common symptom of manic behavior.

      It sounds like you are doing a lot of reading and a lot of self help but the fact is if you are bipolar you most likely will not be able to cure yourself.

      I don't know where you live. I do know mental health disorders are still very discriminated against. Hopefully there is help easy available for you.

      You have received a lot of good intentioned advice but there are situations that should be handled by professionals, not good intentions. Please consider speaking with a doctor. And bring a loved one with you. It is helpful in the diagnosis if they can compare stories with someone close in your life.

      I will not post here again. I can't help you online. Neither can anyone else. I do not think this forum is going to solve your problem.

      Man, Bipolar? Where that arrived in picture? I said i just dont have enough motivation to keep going. You are making me bipolar? Bipolar is huge illness, i dont think my moods swing too much. Yeah, my mood does swing, but i dont think i am mad at one time and sending roses next minute.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2938486].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LeeLee
    [DELETED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2938501].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      There's nothing wrong with you if you are depressed on occasion - it's normal to have some highs and lows of emotion. In society today, there is such a tendency to want a diagnosis and a pill.

      I have days when I don't want to do anything. If I have work scheduled that is on a deadline, I work through it. If not, I don't do anything except lay around, read a book, take a nap or a walk. Not every day can be cheerful, light hearted, efficient, motivated...some are just blah naturally.

      There's motivation - but there's also self discipline. It's the self discipline that takes you to the gym when you don't feel like it.

      Think up something you would really like to buy or be able to do in 6-9 months. Visualize it in detail - make it a goal and get to work on earning enough to reach that goal.

      kay
      Signature
      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
      ***
      One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
      what it is instead of what you think it should be.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2938885].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Rodrigo Werner
    bro watch the "SECRET" movie...it will def help you out!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2940609].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author billMarket
    Not sure if this was said before, but this is my
    2 cents:

    I wouldn't say I am in the same boat, but I can
    relate. Money doesn't really motivate me.

    So what does? Challenge.

    I need challenge in my life to keep me excited.

    It's hard, yes - but that's what challenges are.

    The hardest part of starting something new and
    challenging yourself, is the first 30 days.

    You might hate it, completely hate it - but, after
    that 30 day hump you might start to love it.

    You start to see some results and it becomes
    easier. It's a great feeling, because you know you
    are becoming a new and improved person.

    Actually, that's how I found my passion in life.
    It has nothing to do with making money, its
    just something I discovered through challenging
    myself and trying new things.

    Here is a thing I wrote about finding your passion.
    It also has links in it to 3 other good articles on the
    topic.

    Hope this helps bring that spark back!

    Bill.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2940958].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author success4all
      Ankur, take heart in the fact you are not alone. It happens to everyone in one form or other in varying degree.

      This a great post with a lot of suggestions. It looks like you are trying some of them.
      They may help you.

      We are nothing more than a bunch of belief systems. Whatever belief system dominates ourselves at a given moment in life, we assume the personality of the belief system. Some time happy, some time sad, sometime elated, sometime depressed and so on.

      The good news is that these belief systems are our own making, we created it in the first place, hence we have the power to change the belief systems that are not useful anymore or not helping our personal development.

      The answers are always withing you. Once you learn how to look for the answers everything will become clear. You will be able to rediscover your true self whose actions are not dependent on external factors like money or fame. At that stage you will have transformed yourself into a contended person who is carrying out your life's mission nothing more nothing less.

      I wish you all the best.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2941297].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I know of what I speak
      Ok - but you are ignoring facts. The OP was able to solve his financial problem and pay off his debt. That doesn't fit your diagnosis.
      Signature
      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
      ***
      One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
      what it is instead of what you think it should be.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2941321].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author LeeLee
        [DELETED]
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2942684].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author scortillion
          Originally Posted by LeeLee View Post

          I am not going to debate you. I have the letters and experience in this subject. It pains me when people give the ole pull up your bootstraps and mind meld yourself to happiness. (I am not saying that is what you have done, just the overall advise in this thread.)
          .
          It is VERY dangerous to diagnose someone you have never met nor have any personal data on. You should not be telling this individual that he has something wrong with him when you have no clue what is really wrong with him.

          Suggest he seek help fine, but if you do have papers and experience you should know better then to tell someone something without personal evaluation.
          Signature
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2943474].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author scortillion
    There is a great book called “Billionaire: Secrets to Success” by Bill Bartmann. Don’t let the title fool you in to thinking it’s a book only about becoming rich, but it brings together much of the information in other books on success, motivation, and goal setting and sums it all up into a nice precise and understandable package.

    The one “Rule” he has is to change your goal into promises. It wasn’t until I read this rule that I realized why a lot of the goals I set, I never fulfilled. Now some people can set and achieve goals, but I’ve always had a hard time of it. I read all the books, learned all the rules, tried all the methods, but still couldn’t understand why some goals I achieved and other fell by the wayside.

    Then I read Bill Bartmann’s book and his rule about making your goals promises and everything clicked. I reflected on all the goals I achieved and looked at what they all had in common and realized that 99% of the goals I achieved all had one thing in common, they were promises I had made to myself, my family or my friends; those that I cared about.

    Try this exercise for the next week. Find someone you really care about and make them a promise to do something special every single day. Take them to lunch or dinner, write them a letter, write yourself a letter, create a webpage, or write a one page article. Do anything that you think you wouldn’t do right now because of the mood you find yourself in.

    Next, do these two things to motivate yourself.

    First think of a person that by completing your promise would make them very happy with you. Keep this person in mind; put their picture where you can see it, carry it with you. Whenever you feel like you are having a hard time in keeping your promise look at this person’s picture and think how happy they will be if you succeed and how happy you will be by making this person that happy.

    Second, think of another person that by completing your promise you would be showing them that you are better then they think you are. This person could be someone you dislike or someone you want to say “see I’m better then you think! Take that!”

    Granted, most books would not promote the second method, but hasn’t there been a time or two that you achieved something just to show someone that you could! Just to show them they were wrong! Or just to piss them off?

    Motivation works in both ways a push-you method and a pull-you method, the positive and negative, the yin and yang. Don’t fight it, but USE it to succeed. Use it to YOUR advantage not someone else!

    Remember you and ONLY you control your thoughts. But your subconscious directs your conscious thoughts without you being aware of it most of the time. Your subconscious has ONE major job and that is to help you survive, to keep you safe, and to keep you from pain. Now if the subconscious has linked going outside or getting out of bed as harmful then it will work to keep you home and in bed, where it believes you to be safe.

    The subconscious takes anything you experience that is accompanied with extreme emotion and stores it. When a similar situation occurs the subconscious will react and try to protect you from harm, embarrassment, shame, and / or pain.

    The book above explains it in more detail as do many others such as those on NLP, books by Jim Rohns, Anthony Robbins and many others.

    A friend and I are discussing this at Success-Membership | Facebook feel free to stop by, add your thoughts, or start you own discussion. We love to hear other’s thoughts on this subject.

    Jim
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2941214].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jointaldc
    I've learned that a lot of the things that bring us down are our own thoughts, which can be controlled.

    Maybe it's just your mindset. The way I got rid of my bad bad depression, was one day I just asked myself, "What are you sad for? You can choose to be happy".

    And I know that sounds too easy, but the thing is, those words have to make sense to you. All the way down to your core...
    Signature
    Jointal ---- A CPA network that operates on trust -
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2943406].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
    Originally Posted by believemarketing View Post

    its very possible that you need friends... are you feeling alone?
    That can be the reason. I have only one friend, who got married last month and he is all busy. Issue is my city here got no pubs, discos and any other meeting places. Plus, its always hard for me to talk to strangers. On the same time, i am thinking, i should publish some flyers, then distribute it in city. I can teach thing or two about internet marketing and it should be refreshing to meet, teach actual human beings in flesh
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2944218].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author believemarketing
      Originally Posted by ankur sharma View Post

      That can be the reason. I have only one friend, who got married last month and he is all busy. Issue is my city here got no pubs, discos and any other meeting places. Plus, its always hard for me to talk to strangers. On the same time, i am thinking, i should publish some flyers, then distribute it in city. I can teach thing or two about internet marketing and it should be refreshing to meet, teach actual human beings in flesh
      I know how you feel... your probably the reserved and quiet type... like me...

      about the friend thing, sometime when we run out of friends due to life's circumstances, we just have to make/find new friends, though not easy... we have to 'take action' as people here say all the time... or you can also call people you already know and ask them out...

      I would suggest you see 'I love you, man' if you haven't already...
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2944330].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author PeterDunin
    I think the depression your feeling could it could be something deep rooted which probably happened in your past which needs to be addressed.I would recommend some sort of counselling and try and get some answers my friend!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2946429].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
      Originally Posted by PeterDunin View Post

      I think the depression your feeling could it could be something deep rooted which probably happened in your past which needs to be addressed.I would recommend some sort of counselling and try and get some answers my friend!
      May be, depressing thing is, i havnt gone to gym yet. Ahhh, i should have visited the gym.

      I really laugh very very less these days. Sometime, i feel my face is fixated with only one dumb expression. Dont want to make this thread gloomy. But eventually every bit of excitement fads away. When you are teenager, i guess biggest obsession was parties, girls and gadgets. Once you start owning them easily, they loose their charm. You are faithful bf, so you cant look into any other girl. You got to keep everybody happy. Society expects lot from you, your parent's dreams you have to fulfill. At the same time, all the self improvement books want to teach you that you have to be "somebody" before dying.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2948461].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author rcritchett
      Originally Posted by PeterDunin View Post

      I think the depression your feeling could it could be something deep rooted which probably happened in your past which needs to be addressed.I would recommend some sort of counselling and try and get some answers my friend!
      Freudian? Traditional Psychology? Thanks for your input. I appreciate where you're coming from on this however free association is another way of reigniting neural circuits that have to do with certain information. We've evolved in the field of psychology over the years.

      Thread starter, you need to engage in something new. Train your mind to stop saying things like "I'm not motivated." The more you run those circuits, the more they strengthen.

      Your mission is to start creating something that moves you.

      If you're not growing, you're dying.

      Sidenote: Exercise daily, even if it's a walk. Oxygenated blood to your brain changes neurochemical processes in a mood enhancing way.

      It stimulates a brain protein called BDNF, and without giving you the neuroscientific explanation, it helps you to think better.

      Take about 20 minutes a day and start meditating. This literally wires circuits from the areas of emotion regulation and control (pre frontal cortex) to the rest of your brain giving you a greater ability to control how you feel.

      ALL OF YOU THAT SAID SIMILAR THINGS.. ABOUT EXERCISING AND CREATING SOMETHING AWESOME, YOU ROCK!!

      Let us know how awesome your life becomes once you start doing what we're suggesting!!!

      Ryan
      Signature

      We do mail-in iPhone Repair Services, Nationwide in the US. LCD/Digitizer Glass Replacement And More.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3383632].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author maidmarion
    Ankur

    How did you feel when you were working to pay off your debts? Were you motivated then? If so, perhaps you could get into some more debt. I am not being foolish, just thinking, if you were to say buy a home, or buy an investment property, and work to pay that off, you would have something else to strive for.
    You have really achieved so much already, a 30K debt, and you have paid that off and have some spare! You really need to pat yourself on the back, you have done a very good job!

    The money you have or achieve can go towards helping your family or friends out, and for other things.

    I agree with the others, remaining fit and healthy, by exercising, helps you get out of your mood, and you will feel better!

    There is a lot in life to be happy & grateful for!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2949280].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
      Originally Posted by maidmarion View Post

      Ankur

      How did you feel when you were working to pay off your debts? Were you motivated then? If so, perhaps you could get into some more debt. I am not being foolish, just thinking, if you were to say buy a home, or buy an investment property, and work to pay that off, you would have something else to strive for.
      You have really achieved so much already, a 30K debt, and you have paid that off and have some spare! You really need to pat yourself on the back, you have done a very good job!

      The money you have or achieve can go towards helping your family or friends out, and for other things.

      I agree with the others, remaining fit and healthy, by exercising, helps you get out of your mood, and you will feel better!

      There is a lot in life to be happy & grateful for!

      I can relate to what you are suggesting here. Even i sometime feel like that. I should get some debt over my shoulder. But point is this is wrong way to deal with situation. I bet changing habits right now will be hard. But 10 years from now, it will be almost impossible to change myself.

      I have to bring back smile on my face. I have to start enjoy life again. My parents, friend, gf love me. I guess its time now, i should start to love myself.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2949586].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author halmo
        I think you need to find and dedicate yourself to something that's bigger than you. A grand purpose.

        Clearly, you have done for yourself what you could do for yourself (at least for now). Coming up with new goals for your personal purposes, and trying to motivate yourself by willpower will not do it. You are beyond that.

        Willpower is never as effective as power that you have because you WANT to do something. Find what truly interests you, that you feel you can dedicate yourself to because it will make a difference in the world.

        Read online, watch the news, think about what you can do that will make a difference in other people's lives. See what makes your heart churn when you see something on the news. You might be able to start a cause, and get other people involved in it for the good of the community. You might want to start a foundation, or a non-profit business to help people get out of debt (you have the experience to do that).

        In brief:
        Just find one thing that makes your heart want to make a difference in the world. Then do it. You won't need forced motivation. You will be driven by it because you will be making a difference in other people's lives.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2950492].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author digichik
          This is good advice. Sometimes you have to just step out of your comfort zone and extend a hand to others. You obviously have much to offer, and in helping others you will help yourself, and find those you are helping will be helping you in ways you can't even imagine.
          Signature



          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2981653].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Sandra Martinez
          Hi,

          what you are going through is just a step in the path.

          So far you have been focusing on first and second chakras: survival, integration in your group (first chakra), money and love (second chakra).

          when you get there, you look at yourself in the mirror and say, now what? And even more: who are you?

          you spent so much time looking for answers outside that you don´t know that well who you are. That is third chakra: to explore yourself and know who you are. This will reinforce the way you are relating with others, and the way you are making money, or it can break it. You might have overlooked or taken yourself for granted all this time.

          it is not a bad thing. it is a necessary existential crisis.

          all those who made it, went through a meltdown like this one time or another.

          now look inside, see who you are, and take care of business.

          here is something you might want to see, the biography of Tony Robins. He went through this when he was around 20.


          Sandra
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2992418].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LasseKohau
    Take a month off. Get away form business and computers. It doesnt seems like a depression, more like burn out.

    Put some new oil on the engine, do exercise, relax on a nice long vacation - three weeks in bountyland.

    kind regards, LASSE
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2950524].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author maidmarion
    Yes, Ankur, you are right too. More debt is not the answer.
    Getting out of the house more and socialising is good!

    Loving yourself is the key also. How to do that, lot of people will teach you how.
    eg. Louise Hay, Carole Dior, Heather Hicks, some of these people can help you to start putting positive thoughts in your head, and liking yourself! Very important.

    x
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2956641].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author moneyphul
    find what really drives you, then do some activity that challenges you. Everyone has something driving them. In my case, I always do something that possesses an intellectual challenge.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2956745].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author pethanks
    The only way to eradicate depression is to pray and ask God for guidance and peace of mind.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2956791].message }}
  • Get Tim Ferris' 4 Hour Work Week. It suggests things you can do in the time you've free'd up and start enjoying life more.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2957365].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author John Rogers
    Depression can be tricky to treat. Exercise, diet and getting outdoors may help, and it may not. Meditation, yoga and positive thinking may help, and it may not. If you're deeply depressed, chances are that even if you know that stuff might help, you very well may not be able to motivate yourself to do it no matter how much you hate being depressed. The bottom line is if you can't seem to pull yourself out of the funk, you should seek professional help. It sounds to me like you have the financial resources to do so.

    John
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2965889].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tonydbaker
    You've got to have more to live for than just making money.

    Making money makes things happen, and that's great, but your true motivation should be about fulfillment, helping others, helping your family, mentoring the young, and making the world a better place.

    And what about personal goals, seeing the world, climbing the tallest mountain, swimming in the deepest ocean, and so much more.

    One of my goals is to live in places all over the world for a year or two at a time. Manhattan (in the Summer), South Florida, Costa Rica, Manilla, Thailand, and so many other places. I can't have multiple lifetimes (not that I know of anyway) but I can make the most of my life.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2965982].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
    Still, i am inside depression. It sucks. I know i have to come out of it. But i just dont have energy and will.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2966547].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author John Rogers
      Originally Posted by ankur sharma View Post

      Still, i am inside depression. It sucks. I know i have to come out of it. But i just dont have energy and will.
      When you are that deeply depressed you really should seek professional help. It doesn't mean you're crazy or there is something wrong with you. It just means you are depressed.

      Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Here's a link to an article about it. Depression’s Chemical Imbalance Explained | Psych Central News

      You might need to go on medication for awhile to help pull you out of it.

      John
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2967566].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ikonn
        Hi Ankur,

        I stumbled on your post by complete incident but I can highly relate to you and I can see that many here can't (take a vacation, get pills, need a break, etc). Read on, hope this helps.

        FYI: Wisdom cannot be communicated. Wisdom that a wise man tries to communicate always sounds foolish. Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom. We can find it, we can live it, we can be carried by it, we can work wonders with it, but we cannot utter it to each other - Siddhartha

        But I try anyways ...

        A little intro:

        Like many of us, I have read the 4HWW, I have previously always been in a seeker in having financial freedom and other ways in improving yourself and your life.

        I took action on many things I've learned in 4HWW and other teachings and made my dreams a reality in a very short time (This year). I live the 4HWW, I work probably 4 - 8 hours a week and it's not even work. In September, I lived in South of France, In October, Paris with my wife. (Not 4HWW way, it wasn't cheap) And I previously travelled to many destinations all around the world.

        - I quickly repaid all the initial business investment ($40k) and our family debt ($10-20k)

        - I bought shiny things (new MacBook, iPhone's, new TV, renovated our place) I already drove an Audi so didn't really feel like buying another one

        So in terms of financial ... things are great

        Another important element that I have also strived for ... I have pretty much total FREEDOM - work whenever I want, if I want, I plan my day like I want.

        Another element, RELATIONSHIP: I have the most perfect relationship with my wife. Love, understanding, passion, sex, compassion, friendship, understanding, etc.

        Another element, HEALTH: I am YOUNG (in my early twenties) feel healthy and energetic every day, in great physical shape.

        Another element, FAMILY: no complaints, great relationships and we all love and have understanding for each other.

        Another element, FRIENDS: AWESOME

        Another element, I love myself.

        I am really grateful for my life!

        ok, why did I just brag and point out all the things I have? Because I pretty much have most things people strive for -> Financial Freedom, LOVE, Family, HEALTH, great relationships, Time freedom, ability to travel.

        My biggest lesson this year and probably of my entire existence:

        NO ONE, NO MATERIAL THING, NO TRIP, DEFINITELY NOT THE TIME OFF, NO LUXURY will create lasting peace and joy within yourself! ouch ...

        Most of us in society are made to believe that either something or someone will give you positive emotions and feelings. So all of our lives we strive to find someone to make us happy or entertained or to love us. OR Some material thing to give us emotions, moments of exhilaration, etc. OR to achieve some sort of status in society (LOL). These are all lies that we bought into as we learned more about this world.

        For many, ignorance is bliss and many live happily in it. If you can do this then this is NOT wrong at all and is truly wonderful. But for those of us that been hit with what feels like a pan over our head ... reality sucks

        - ONCE THINGS ARE ATTAINABLE, they lose value ...

        Then for most people who keep wanting to attain more -> it becomes a game... "but I don't have EVERYTHING?" and they challenge themselves to get that house, boat, building, plane etc. For many, this works and it's cool if it gives you fulfillment. You can do this your whole life! No judging

        But there comes a point when you can attain more or help everyone in the world. But you realize:

        You are the ONLY ONE that is living in your reality. You are the main character.

        Then come the questions -> What's the point then? Confused? I can't have a normal life because I have this awareness now? What do I do? I am lost?

        CONGRATULATIONS if you have reached this point in life and asking yourself these questions. Things are not all lost!

        If you HAVEN'T ... then by all means go out and get all those things -> RELATIONSHIP, FINANCIAL FREEDOM, HEALTH but always remember you have to love yourself fully first to make things easier and more enjoyable (Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz helps to understand what love and self love is all about)

        Ok back to the champagne problem of having attained it and feeling depressed. It's normal!

        Sad yet motivating reality ... you create your reality and the life you live. Before when you were in debt, what did you do and what was your focus? What questions were you asking yourself? How did you get out of debt?

        Ankur, you already know the methodology as you have already achieved something that you were missing in your life at one point (money).

        If you want to attain motivation, joy, and inner peace then you must focus on these things you want. Visualize, talk about it, see it, and most importantly take CONSTANT ACTION.

        Isn't this guy talking about the Secret? Kind of ...

        I know those simple tips above can be tremendously hard at times especially when you even lost the motivation to get outside the house. But think that with each action and step you are planting a seed to a plant of motivation, joy, and inner peace.

        What most of us do and why we feel hopeless, we plant a seed, come to the soil where we planted the seed the next day, and say "Where's my plant of motivation, joy, inner peace? This is bogus!"

        Just like a real plant, it doesn't grow overnight! You need to plant it, feed the soil every day, be patient. Eventually it will come out of the ground (your first breakthrough), then as the plant grows, make sure to feed it positive energy, feelings, visualizations, even when the weather sucks outside and you want to just ignore the plant (your joy, motivation, inner peace).

        Prescription for Joy Program for the next 6 months
        - This can also be used for wealth attainment
        - Whenever you have a negative thought or emotion, work on thinking on three positive feelings or emotions or gratefulness ... it's not always easy but work on creating this new habit.
        - Make it your journey and purpose to create a story full of joy and positive emotions. Become a student and research motivation, joy, happiness.
        - Write 5 things that you are grateful for on paper every morning right when you wake up ( I mean right when you wake up, have pen and paper by your bed side and do the same before you go to sleep. ) This is when you are closest to your subconscious
        - Write before sleep what kind of person you want to be (happy, energetic, peaceful) and the story you want live (passionate, fulfilling, and any other images you want to make real)
        - Reframe your mind for positive thoughts, think of positive outcomes for every action or situation
        - Find a fun hobby to do weekly with a group of people, experiment and try to find activities that you enjoy doing

        These actions are not for everyone but if you are serious about being motivated, energetic, happy, peaceful ... then make it your everything to take these actions on a daily basis until they become habits and you have achieved a positive mindset.

        One thing that you already know ... YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN CREATE THE LIFE THAT YOU WANT TO LIVE!

        On the side note, don't feel bad about the negative emotions and feeling that you will experience in this lifetime. You will not have pure positive feelings and emotions at all times. Make friends with these feelings, observe them, be aware of them but don't judge them ( "Why I am having these feelings, why don't they go away? - these questions don't serve purpose )

        In addition, find your own way ... try different things, what feels right and makes you feel good, trust your intuition.

        All the best Ankur! Be well!

        I'll leave you with something that brings me peace:

        The opposite of every truth is just as true!

        The world is perfect at every moment, all sin already contains grace, all youngsters already contain oldsters, all babies contain death, all the dying contain internal life.

        I needed the most shameful despair to learn how to give up resistance, to learn how to love the world with any world that I wish for, that I imagine with any perfection that I think up; I learned how to let the world be as it is, and to love it and belong to it gladly.


        Siddhartha

        Further Reading that I recommend
        - The Voice of Knowledge - Don Miguel Ruiz
        - Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
        - Siddhartha - Herman Hesse
        - Awakening to Your Life's Purpose - Eckhart Tolle
        - Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2968236].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author mimigirl
          Hi Ankur!

          I can very much relate to your state. Why? Because I've been there myself for the last few months. I know, it's not fun and it feels like you don't know yourself any longer and sometimes it even feels like life is pointless, etc. But let me assure you, whatever you are experiencing is completely normal, given your present situation. However, do not believe into the negative lies you thinking.

          I have everything one can dream of. I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world! ( Ikonn, who commented above) , I'm healthy and beautiful, I have wonderful friends, I can travel, I have freedom- physical and financial. Yet, I'm experiencing this depression.
          Well...The reason you, my friend and I lost motivation is because we lost purpose. Purpose is a very strong drive and we all need it, every day , every moment.

          What have I been doing to pull myself out of this state? Well...I'm only going to share things that have been working for me:

          - Yoga! Yoga! Yoga! I would start RIGHT NOW! There are many articles supporting the evidence that Yoga is great natural medicine for people suffering from depression, anxiety, panick attacks, etc. I've been doing it for a week, and I've had the best week in the last 4 months.
          Since money is not an issue, I would suggest finding a private instructor and going once a week ( you can do it with your gf, she will love it too) and it's fun thing that will connect you better. Also make it your mission to practise it at home every day for an hour. Why not try it, if it can help you get out of the rut? What do you have to lose? Depression? lol

          - Positive affirmations. THEY WORK! Every time I have a negative thought- I distract it by saying my positive affirmations: "I'm so grateful that I"m joyous, peacful, loving." You can come up with your own( use whatever words you want to experience) . Say it all day long if you have to. Our brain doesn't know the difference between something we imagine or something that's actually happening. You know when you think of food and you start instantly salivating. Well...it works for everything the same way. Keep saying and thinking your affirmations and soon you will be it again

          - GET OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE! I know it's hard. Sometimes you don't even feel like getting up or going to a different room, but YOU CAN DO IT! Every day go for a walk- by yourself or with your girlfriend or with a friend. Doesn't matter, but you have to get out of the house.

          - Find a good shrink. I"m still waiting to get an appointment with mine. And I believe it can be very helpful, just to talk to someone who understands and won't judge.

          - Have a to do list everyday and work through it. It will help you be more focused on the task.

          - Keep a journal. Write everything you want it in - good or bad, be completely honest. It helps to empty your mind through it.

          - If you can find any Laughter Yoga clubs in your area, I suggest you go there ASAP. I went to once this week for the first time and Laughed until I cried. It felt SOOOO GOOD!


          I believe in YOU as much as I believe in myself Together we can live through our present state and with awareness create a new state of gratefulness, where we can actually start contributing to the rest of the world in big and meaningful ways. This - what we are experiencing is just a growing stage, that will make us stronger.

          Good Luck!

          Love and Peace,

          Mimi
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2968379].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author sap?
    First of all..I would say Congrats for clearing all debts...No problem ..take a break for few days..go for outing for few days..start meditation which makes everything clear...or try something else as u succeeded here online..I am on the same path..clearing debts..paying $600 monthly for debts..horrible..lol
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2966861].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LynnLewis
    When all else fails, take a break and do something for someone else.

    Either do volunteer work or do something significant for someone you know or offer support to a local school.Take a walk and look for someone to give $10 before you return home. Use your imagination and decide on something that feels good to you.

    Put your issues aside for a few weeks and focus on someone else. If nothing else, you get a break from beating yourself up, which you can go back to whenever you want.
    Signature

    misslynnlewis.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2967239].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author duggydub
    Ankur, some great advise here that you should consider. can i just say you have achieved a lot already and should be proud and there is lots more to come from you in helping others everyday in every way. This stage you are going through is similar to the astronauts going into outerspace and then thinking what can i do next now i have achieved the ultimate. You have loads to share, loads to give and plenty of hungry people out there who will love you for your sharing and help you enjoy life together. Take some of the advice from the forum on board and make a plan to tackle many of the steps advised. Once you get going again, this period, if not illness related, will be a distant memory. Good luck and we look forward to your feeling better.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2969009].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author windwhirl
      Try to get more involved in your advocacies. You will find motivation in life. Sometimes, we need to go beyond our personal concerns.
      There comes a time in achievers' lives when the higher Self seeks to express itself beyond the personal interest.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2969998].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Andie
    "I know, i can make lot of money, but because of my lazy behavior, i am slowly getting into depression. I just yell at my gf for no reason. She find it awkward as now we are going to get marry, there is no reason to be depressed. But , i just fail to explain to her, that i want to work non stop 8 hours per day. But because of lack of motivation, i just cant do it and thats making me a depressed person. "

    Just a couple of comments for you
    When/how did this start? You might see if you can find any connection between the when (ie: when it gets to winter...i hate to get up/out/cold and it can affect me) --did it kick in after some change in your life; or just creep up before you realized?

    how -- if you simply have slipped into a rut...stop digging. Get seriously away from it all at least for a day here and there. Put some music on and start a 'hands on' project that has nothing to do with computer, internet and/or money making. Build a model ship, paint, whatever mood strikes.........doesn't have to be physically exerting like the 'go to gym' exercise, but can help clear the mind of the things you are not 'getting done' in business.

    Note to LeeLee -- nothing personal, but you did make quite a stretch between the OP's words and a virtual diagnosis. Yes, people that suffer from bi-polar disorder have a serious issue, but you really can't pick out a few sentences and determine that. He has focused and achieved a great deal, and seems to be having a rough time period that is not his usual 'norm' in life.......and the chaos/depression is the norm for bipolar.


    OP- this too, shall pass

    Andie
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2972578].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author OmarBriones
    Hey Ankur,

    I agree with pretty much everyone else on this thread...

    * Go out, and make new connections
    * Create new products (write or make a video that will help people get to where you are now - financially free)
    * Read books
    * Go to workshops
    * Find a way you can help more people

    And I would also like to add:

    * Make & Save EVEN MORE money for your future! And your family's future! To help MORE people!

    If you're not a multi-zillionaire, you have not reached your FULL POTENTIAL, Ankur!

    Anyway, here's my tip for you:

    - Sign up & Go to the millionaire mind intensive (costs $797, but I can get you & your partner in for free - just let me know if that's something you'd like)... There, you will discover so much about your inner self, why you really feel that way, and you will be hypnotized to break free from it.

    (there's a sub-conscious reason why you're not allowing more money to come to you)

    - While waiting for the date to come, spend 5 minutes a day working on something - JUST SOMETHING, that will help you make more money.

    Can you do 5 minutes a day? If not, you DEFINITELY can't do 8 hours a day! So, start with 5 minutes, and work your way up to 6 minutes, then 7 minutes, 8 minutes, 9 minutes, and soon you'll be easily doing 10 minutes a day!

    Hope this helped you, Ankur! Let me know if there's anything I can do for you!

    All the best,

    ~Omar
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2973156].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mikelawson
    Hi Ankur,

    Appreciate your openness about someting lots of other people might have experienced.

    I've spent a lot of time studying the body and mind, and motivation and goal setting is a big part of my interests (I am a qualified hypnotherapist, and NLP and EFT practitioner).

    Sounds to me like you need to look at creating a future vision for yourself.

    The greatest feelings IMHO are from helping others. Maybe you can teach your skills that got you out of your situation to others that are in desperate need of that.

    Although I'm just starting out on creating my own product, part of the income I intend earning is going to go into a charitable trust I am setting up to fund small animal rescue centres around the world.

    This really drives me on knowing the good that can come out of my work.

    Do a brainstorm of all the people/projects that need funds that you would like to support and draw up a plan of how you are going to do that.

    I'm sure if you just talked to one or two of the charity administrators in fields that interest you, you would soon discover a whole bunch of motivation to get moving.

    Best of luck friend!

    If you need any help just ask.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2973471].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author STKING
    It's time to step outside your normal life for a while...make it an extended vacation with no plan, just a free-flowing journey. You might be surprised where you end up and you might just love it.

    I moved to a completely different country and just love the experience I've been having.
    Signature
    Electronic Cigarette All in stock and ship within 24 hours!
    Electronic cigar: Fattest, longest lasting e-cigar you can buy
    E-Liquid Nicotine Feel the hit without the cancer.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2974034].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Niminion
      I'm dealing with this same sort of thing, I worked non-stop for months just trying for a meager income, now I'm easily making quadruple my original daily goal each and every day.

      I know I should keep grinding and become a super millionaire to buy anything I could think of, but instead I do everything I can to avoid it. I would sleep half the day and play video games instead or go out with the same (poor ass, doh!) friend for drinks. Constantly being lazy and avoiding bettering myself just leads to more depression. Its hard to meet new people when you work in your own cave all the time, most of my old freinds have moved to other states. I'm divorced and I have my two daughters half the time so I can't just pick up and go anywhere I want. I have fun with my kids every other weekend otherwise they have school and homework during the week.

      Something that helped me was to buy a nice laptop (with no games on it) and get out of my computer room. Go somewhere different and open up your laptop and do some work, outside, a bar or food joint, even just in another room. Just getting away from my desk has made working that much more interesting and fun again and even helps keep fresh ideas coming in.

      Take care and GL
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2976129].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author maidmarion
    Lots of advice here Ankur! one of these ideas must trigger a bell for you.

    Lots of love around you, and inside you too, if you look.

    x
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2981023].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
    wow, i am stunned after seeing so much support for me. Seriously, i am thankful to each and everyone of you. Mimi and sidhartha, guys thanks for posting such a wonderful reply. I havnt read all replies, but i will.

    I am feeling good, i mean so many people came out to help me out.

    I just need to redefine goals in my life. But seriously, to all the people who are working to clear debts. I will say do not train yourself to think "I need to work coz i need to repay debt". I will strongly suggest to tell yourself something else. I remember even in the process of repaying my debt, i was very very overburdened. I use to think once i will back on my foot financially, i will be happy. But seem like my head is accustomed to remain in depressed state.

    I seriously do not want to go to any psychiatrist. The medicines they give, i know for fact, they make you addict. My mom got long long history of depression. When i was child, i have seen my mum countless times crying, going to psychiatrist and taking electrical shocks. For 3 years mum received electrical shocks because of depression. I was 8 at that time. But my mum is 100% ok now.

    S, going to psychiatrist make me very very nervous. But i got to come out of this. I want to feel excitement, passion for something. I want to laugh, i want to laugh so loud.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2982379].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Core Freedom
      Hello Ankur,

      A lot of love going through these posts from people who are eager to help you. Your posts reminded me of growing up and feeling just like you do. By the time I was a teenager I felt suicidal with no interest or will to live. Nothing motivated me and I just didn't see the reason to live. When I was 23 I saw an ad in a paper in my country, for a family that was looking for a nanny here in the United States. I wrote, they wrote back and 2 weeks later I came here with a suitcase and $500, speaking no English. This was 21 years ago.

      In the meantime I have become a trained grief and suicide hotline counselor because when my daughter turned a teenager she started to lose some friends to suicide and I wanted to make sure that she wouldn't fall into the same depressed state. I wanted to be ready.

      I did go to a doctor to get myself checked out, just to rule out that I was not suffering from any bi-polar disorder. It was good to know that my brain was clear. So I knew for sure that my depression was otherwise related. But I also know that even if I was diagnosed, I would never take their medication. I would want to find alternative methods to treating my depression.

      Even though I have been living here for 21 years, it has been a challenging life in many areas. Better than where I grew up, but still challenging. A friend suggested to talk to an astrologer who specializes in astro locality. It was the best $75 I ever spent. Without knowing what my life was like growing up, I asked him what life I could expect if I ever went back to my country. And he said that I would become depressed fairly quickly and eventually lose the will to live.

      He also confirmed how my life here has been these past 21 years and he's 100% right on.

      Astrology and astro locality is not the end-all, be-all. But boy it has shed some amazing light on why things are the way they are, and why they've been the way they've been. And how they can be different. Now that my daughter is moving out to college these next 4 weeks I'm thinking of repeating the 'suitcase' scenario and moving to a more auspicious place. :-)

      I know this is far fetched for many. But perhaps you, Ankur, and others too, may find some answers. Feel free to ask me for Bob's contact info.

      As far as your depression is concerned - the answers here have been generous and amazing. But I know from experience that no matter what advice people give, including mine, if you're not motivated then the best advice won't help. You've taken the first step - you've reached out. Now take the gifts you've been given here and do something with them.

      Keep us posted and do reach out, Ankur! We're here to help and we care. :-)

      Chaszey
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2985062].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author commerce cat
    Hi Ankur,

    Thank you for reaching out because there are so many people in your shoes. I've been recently dealing with depression after finishing a product. So much energy went into making it that once it was done, I was so drained. It's been two weeks now since I finished and I've only just started to feel vaguely well enough to start doing the marketing. I would get upset at myself but for the fact that I'm glad that I recognised that my body (and my mind) needed a rest.

    What helped was getting back a healthy routine - doing morning exercise, eating better and regularly (think breakfast, fibre rich foods and lots of colourful greens), meditation, and sleeping at the right times. It's not an instant fix so don't get down if you don't immediately feel better but if these things are done consistently, you will start to notice a difference.

    Another little tip is to notice your body's position. I find when I get into a dip, it's really hard to even move but a lot of it is in how my body is positioned - slouched over in a little lump. Sometimes, just pulling back my shoulders and raising my head is enough to get the positive energy flowing (at least enough to change my mindset to go do something).

    If you don't feel up to going out for exercise, cleaning your house/office/flat is actually good exercise and is pretty satisfying. I usually find the house is one of the first things to go when I focus too much on work so giving it a clean restores the balance and helps my soul feel calmer.

    One more thing on exercise, I find it's better to first build the habit than focus on achieving big goals. So for me, I start with the goal to do just do any amount of exercise in the morning - I could do one yoga sun salutation and I'm happy. The more important thing is I'm doing something every morning. Of course, once I'm there I'll usually do more but it means there's little in the way of barriers to stop me starting.

    There was a recent lifehacker article on how to keep balance even when you have no life/work balance that I think makes really useful reading: Balance Your Mind, Not Your Work
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2987726].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author joesfortune
    I fell into a depression when my wife died more than 3 years ago. Saw a physician, given anti-depressant drugs which I took for a while. Then it hit me! It would be the height of my stupidity to spend a great deal of my earnings on something that I, myself, caused.

    You are the cause of your own depression and you, alone, can snap out of it.

    I did it, so can you.
    Signature

    Joseph M. Dabon
    Blogger and freelance writer. I belong to Ezine's Expert Author, Diamond, level. Visit me at
    http://withinyouisyoursuccess.com/

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2987853].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
    Big Thanks to each and everyone of you. I am overwhelmed by so much love here.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3045491].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Cataclysm1987
    I know EXACTLY what you should do.

    Make something awesome.

    Like seriously awesome. Like a gigantic, ridiculous sales page for an awesome product of some sort.

    Or a huge ass membership site with killer stuff inside.

    You know. Something that makes you get out of bed in the morning and say "HELL YEAH IM IN THE ZONE!!!"
    Signature

    No signature here today!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3055698].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ankur sharma
    I am feeling so relaxed after reading all the wonderful posts here. I am not going to be sad, i am not going to be negative about myself. I am going to fall in love with my work again. There is so much to do and i cant waste golden years of my life in this depression state.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3107908].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author rcritchett
      Originally Posted by ankur sharma View Post

      I am feeling so relaxed after reading all the wonderful posts here. I am not going to be sad, i am not going to be negative about myself. I am going to fall in love with my work again. There is so much to do and i cant waste golden years of my life in this depression state.
      AWESOME!!

      You got it!
      Signature

      We do mail-in iPhone Repair Services, Nationwide in the US. LCD/Digitizer Glass Replacement And More.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3383642].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      Originally Posted by ankur sharma View Post

      I am feeling so relaxed after reading all the wonderful posts here. I am not going to be sad, i am not going to be negative about myself. I am going to fall in love with my work again. There is so much to do and i cant waste golden years of my life in this depression state.
      I think you just need a little break. Take a little mini-vacation for several days away from work, and leave it behind for a while. I know you worked very hard to get out of debt, and now you just need to get a little rest and relaxation to avoid burnout - you have achieved something very meaningful, and it's time to reward yourself a little for your accomplishments.

      We are not robots and automatons, we need to recharge and get away from work every now and then so that we can continue functioning at our peak. This is not a bad thing, we all need this to be at our best.
      Signature
      >>> Features Jason Fladlien, John S. Rhodes, Justin Brooke, Sean I. Mitchell, Reed Floren and Brad Gosse! <<<
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3421231].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tonio79
    Well done on making the financial success that you are.

    Re focusing yourself and your goals are clearly what are needed.
    Perhaps now the monetary need has gone why not focus on charity work....helping others?

    Why not write down what you want to achieve by the year end....who you want to be, where you see yourself and then break down into stages how you will accomplish each one.
    Sounds like you have the time on your hands to do this.

    Also sounds like you need a kick up the bum and to realise what its like not to be in the situation you are.
    You are actually very lucky.
    Good luck on getting back on track
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3109516].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Adam Roy
    Sounds like your mindset is that your mind is telling you to do the things you naturally NEED to do.

    I think you should switch that up a little bit, and think about what you WANT to do. Start enjoying life, go skydiving, buy a puppy, have children, travel the world.

    Sounds like you need to do something for yourself, give yourself a pat on the back, do something cool for yourself and bring your gf along.

    My advice, take your girlfriend, go to the airport and buy a plane ticket. When you get there, grab a hotel and just enjoy life.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3109634].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jake Gray
    This thread is extremely inspiring.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3109731].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MillionairePete
    I recently made a beautiful video that talks about love, energy, motivation. I promise that after you watch it you will have an amazing day! This video can very well change your whole outlook on life and make you a better person. It opens up the world within a world and is phenomenally touching to the soul. Please make sure to watch both parts, the music alone will sooth your depression. I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed making it.

    Please search millionairepete on youtube for my video, then click on: Follow my lead (1of2)

    Enjoy.
    Signature

    My Dating Website ---> Date In The USA

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3109833].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Zentech
    Hi Ankur,

    I'm going to be straight with you, because that's just how I am.

    Your story indicates to me that money is at the center of your life. You seem to have expected that clearing your debts would prevent depression. Well, it doesn't work that way. As all great thinkers have been telling us throughout history, money doesn't have anything to do with happiness. It just doesn't.

    You seem to be depressed mostly because you are comfortable. Isn't that a strange situation? You don't feel a need to go after tons and tons of money, or fancy cars and all that. That is a good thing, but unfortunately, our society has taught you that there is something "wrong" about this, so you're feeling like you are lazy and becoming depressed. Isn't there something very backward about that? Think about it, please.

    That's what you need to work on. If you're comfortable and satisfied with your income, there is no reason you ought to feel obligated to go make tons of money, and no reason you should feel depressed because you're not motivated to do that. The purpose of your life is not to make boatloads of money, Ankur. That is not the purpose of anyone's life, no matter how much some people might be attracted to it.

    Really, you have a lot to be thankful for. You are not greedy. That is not something to be upset about. Quite the opposite. It is something to celebrate. Even though our society glorifies and promoted greed, not everyone shares those values. Personally, I appreciate you and I salute you. It's not wrong to know when enough is enough.

    If you want to work 8 hours a day, then there are a million things you could do. Not all of them will make you lots of money, but do they need to? There are an endless number of charities and good causes you could advocate for. That alone could keep you busy with interesting, personally rewarding work 25 hours a day, much less a mere 8.

    In short, take the focus off money. That will help you incredibly if you really do it. Money ain't everything. It pays the bills, but it's not the goal of life.

    I seriously do not want to go to any psychiatrist. The medicines they give, i know for fact, they make you addict.
    Don't go to a psychiatrist, and don't go to another "millionaire" seminar either (they are just psychologists in a different sense, pushing a dangerous miracle drug called greed). Go within. Go to who you really are. If you need a guide, there are lots of good ones - personally, I like The Buddha.
    Signature
    * Stupid Offer: Killer Sales Letters ***$897*** Just For Warriors. Ethical Clients & Legit Products Only. *
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3109925].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author PleaseHelpMe
    Ankur,

    I am sorry to hear about your situation. You are not alone and there is hope for change.

    Work is indeed a good thing, so your desire to work is good. The motivation seems to be where you expressed frustration. Sometimes our overall health has a impact on our ability to concentrate, etc. Rule out anything.

    Here are some things to you may want to do:

    1. Go to a doctor and get a physical, with blood test and all. Get this taken care of right away. Start with a clean slate. Have your Vitamin D3 levels checked (Natural Health Information Articles and Health Newsletter by Dr. Joseph Mercola). Ask your doctor. Make sure you are getting enough sleep and a well-ballanced diet.

    2. Exercise. As many others have wisely pointed out, exercise! Sometimes you might just have to start walking. Get a change of environment and get your heart pumping. Ask your doctor what he recommends. Exercise has been prove to have wonderful effects on how we feel. I recently forced myself to walking non-stop for 45 minutes per day. Because it is winter, I feel all couped up and have a hard time concentrating.

    3. Make a list! Write down goals and how you are going to reach those goals. Don't worry about not getting everything done. Here is a helpful thing to do when you feel like your slacking and did not make your list. At the end of the day write down everything you did and put a check mark next to it! Sometimes our minds are filled with too many things that we become burdened and are not able to concentrate or get anything done. At least with a list you can unload your mind onto a piece of paper.

    Your goals should include income goals. Perhaps you want to sponsor a child in a poorer country and it is a commitment of a few hundred dollars per year. How are you going to do it?

    Don't live for yourself, but live for things greater that yourself - charity, volunteer work, etc.

    4. Have people hold you accountable. Perhaps your gf or another guy is disciplined.

    5. Pass on what you have learned and used to pay off your debt. Perhaps there are others who were in the same situation in which you found yourself. You could really help them. You understand their struggles. You've been there. You can do it.

    6. Spend frequent times with others.

    7. Pick up a new hobby. I am thinking about this as a means to let pressure off and let my mind go in a different direction - music, art, bike riding, etc.

    I'm sure there are other things that could be added.

    Take one step at a time. Do small things at first, then build yourself up. If you are not working a regular job, then perhaps a part-time job would help. You're not doing it for the money, but rather for the discipline and the social interaction.

    Ankur, don't give up. Take one day at a time. There is change around the corner.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3382898].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Carol_A
    I applaud you for taking action and getting out of debt.

    .
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3383166].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Fred1
    So much AWESOME advice in this thread! :O)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3385384].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MissLizzie
    Hey Ankur,

    There's such a lot of great advice on this thread that I'm not sure whether I can add anything, but when I was feeling depressed at work, I know that it helped a lot for me to schedule in 'me time' each week. I'd do something that was just for me, like spending a couple of hours in an art gallery or going to the gym.

    Firstly, it was great for my morale, but it also gave me an insight into the type of things that I enjoyed and what was really important to me. That meant that I was able to look at my life again, and make the changes that would make me happy in the future.

    ML
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3387016].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author harshjain
    Hello Ankur, I,as a newbie, too suffer from this problem. Reading books, watching videos of positive thinking, motivation and time management really helps a lot. Take out 10 minutes for physical exercise and meditation each. You can get them free just by opting in many clickbank products .10 minutes for each is more than enough but be consistent.Search "Brian tracy time management" in youtube, 5 to 6 videos are there which have helped me a lot.
    Plan your next day at night before sleeping. Plan each and every hour and give priority to important tasks first. Even if you are not successful in following your plan, no problem, atleast it will help you in saving yourself from unnecessary frustration. Keep planning and give your best to follow that plan.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3398347].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Sarah Bosen
    Maybe to get back in the game you need to forget about work for a couple of weeks. Focus your energy on something that you enjoy, like skiing. Maybe once you do something out of the ordinary for 2 weeks you will be ready to get back to work.
    Or it could be that you aren't exercising enough.
    Exercising has been proven to boost your mood and can even help you to stay more focused and work harder.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3399566].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author andrea_vk
    I think pretty much have been said. But besides, you need to have a balnace in all areas of yoru life The 8 areas of life are:

    1. Health
    2. Partner
    3. Family and friends
    4. Money.
    5. Vocation.
    6. Self Development.
    7. Spiritual
    8. Emotional

    Rate yourslef from 1 to 10 in each area, and see which one you can improve. Set a goal in each area to improve and become better.

    But for this is essential that you make sure that your health is good, I mean following a proper diet, and exercise routine.
    Then you can start focusing in all other areas.
    They say once the human eing has all their basic needs covered then they need to contriute towards others.
    So do some soul searching and deicde what is your next goal in life.
    FInd out the why of your life. Why woudl you like to luve and have a good lifestyle of living, mayeb to have tiem with faily or maybe to help someone else.
    Your spiritual life i salso important, being religion or meditation or yoga. It is very important o have a balced life, and social life also very important.


    I hope you feel better since this post was a while back.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3400496].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Hi Ankur,

    I've been there. You used finances as a big motivator, now that this motivator has disappeared you lost some of your drive.

    Focus on something bigger than money: improving the lives of others, gaining different forms of freedom, putting out an awesome product or service.

    Become emotionally involved with this new motive and you depression can eventually melt away.

    Feel free to DM me with any questions.

    All the best!

    RB
    Signature
    Ryan Biddulph helps you to be a successful blogger with his courses, manuals and blog at Blogging From Paradise
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3401135].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author paulie888
    You may be suffering from burn out as well. Since you probably worked very hard to get to where you are today without taking any breaks in between, this could be just stress and overwork taking its toll.

    Perhaps you should consider taking a relatively long break away from the computer? Take 1 week or longer to go on vacation and don't even touch a computer during that entire period. I think you'd be amazed at how much that can rejuvenate and refresh you - you sound like you sorely need a break from your daily routine on the computer.
    Signature
    >>> Features Jason Fladlien, John S. Rhodes, Justin Brooke, Sean I. Mitchell, Reed Floren and Brad Gosse! <<<
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3403098].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Elion Makkink
    Clearing all your debts should really give you a positive feeling and motivation to make sure you never get them again! I'm impressed you got them covered yourself! Keep up the good feeling and live with your signature in mind ("Life is good").
    Signature

    Cheers,
    Elion Makkink

    Become an SEO Hustler too at seohustlers.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3403106].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author wcrane
    keep your head up.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3405195].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author kianhowe
    This is a good example of a burnout. Take a few months off go on a vacation and clear your mind. I encountered a similar problem. I took a month off and went on a few trips with my friends and family and came back feeling refreshed and ready to go again! Don't give up you shouldn't be contented with just having enough money. You should now aim for luxury. Goodluck I hope you are feeling better!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3407836].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author rdbranson
    "I am going to fall in love with my work again. There is so much to do and i cant waste golden years of my life in this depression state."

    This set off a little alarm. Not clear what you are saying there. Going back to an earlier level? Life is about potential, growth and progress.

    I can tell you this, based on some pretty good research/analysis: If you do something that you feel is good for you AND also benefits your community, and you are surrounded by others who feel the same, that will make you (and the others) happiest.

    Look at this thread. You made everybody feel good, lol, because you enabled us to be helpful, share and feel good about ourselves.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3408761].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author intelmarksetting
    Seriously, now i have money to go to my favourite holiday resorts. I have no motivation to go there. Its comic, you crave for something for so long & when you have all the resources to have it. Some voice pops up & say "Dont do it, finally it will also become a uninteresting thing".
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3420682].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author laganja
    omg.....I am not alone.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3420965].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mobilemassage
    You need some rest, Do some meditation, Yoga. It is better to take a few months off, Join some wellness program, Like Feelgoodco.com wellness program.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3420993].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author snginnovations
    You may be depressed because of your success, but now I'm depressed because I'm not yet depressed because I'm not at your level of success!

    LOL
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3421175].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Neil Long
    I think you are not alone! I too have had depression, not that nice.

    Science shows physical exercise is very good, and do not beat up on yourself, we are all doing the very best we can with the resources we have.

    I am a prac of NLP if that is helpful to you.

    Neil
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3422439].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author echin
    Learn this word 'Gratitude'. Your life will be happier. You should compare yourself with others that are less fortunate than you. You should be grateful and appreciate what you already got or else the devine will take it all away from you one day. Try to set goals that you really want to achieve.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3423797].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author CaliChristian
    I'm glad to hear that your life has been cleared of all that debt! That's an awesome achievement mate, but I understand the lack of motivation.

    Have you ever thought of seeing a counselor to talk about your situation? I have a few friends with similar motivational problems and seeing a counselor has really helped out, and one of my friends actually found out he has clinical depression and ADD and has been prescribed medication to cure him of all that stuff.

    Anyways good luck mate, if you can defeat 30k in debt you can defeat anything!
    Signature
    Christian Credit Counselors is a non-profit organization that has been credit counseling for 20 years and our credit counselors have helped over 200,000 individuals and families get out of debt in less than 4 years.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3502629].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mypiapo
    I dont know your whole situation. Are you making a living online? And you are saying that as a result, you dont have anything to do?

    First of all, erasing a 30k debt is impressive, so you should be happy and thankful for that to start.

    Second, its not good to do nothing. it does lead to depression, and thats probably what got you there. What happens if a river is blocked? The water at the blockage stops flowing, and as a result it becomes stagnate and dirty. It is the same with us. We should always be expanding, always moving forward, always looking for more goals to achieve. That is how the universe works. it never stops moving. That's why your depressed friend. Its against nature to stop growing and moving.

    Do things that you enjoy, and then set out to accomplish another goal, or whatever goal you currently have. Enjoy the process. Dont let it make you fearful and inactive. you have already accomplish an amazing goal by clearing your debt, feel good about that, and use that faith and strength to further you in conquering something else.

    One last thing. If you love your gf, and you are gonna marry her, dont yell at her, just because you're depressed. Thats not fair to her. Share with her your ideas and goals, your fears and worries. That's what being a couple is all about, strengthening each other with LOVE. You can and will get out of this depression, but you have to start moving again.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3503804].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author mypiapo
      I recommend a book

      "Ask and It Is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks

      Very useful techniques, for any situation in life
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3503828].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mypiapo
    On more thing:

    YOU DONT NEED: Medication, counseling, or any of that other stuff that becomes a crutch in life. Stand on your own 2 feet, find your inner strength, Love, and have faith. Thats all you need.

    Medication will do nothing but numb you. Turn you into a 9-5 happy pill junky. If your not happy, i dont care what it is, NO PILL WILL EVER change it. it will hide the problem to your depression, but it is always there. Find out what's bothering you inside, and destroy it with your own strength. No pill can do that.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3503817].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Harper
    I've had similar feelings after reaching a big goal.

    It's like you look around and think, "Now what?"

    Some of use are goal oriented. We need a mission. We need that next thing.

    So my advice is go find it. If you're comfortable with a middle class lifestyle, then that's certainly no sin. What else can you improve in your life that you're not currently satisfied with?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3503903].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author WebSolutionKey
    You can help people like us to come to your level.. And then I will let you know I did at your level
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3504738].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Apollo-Articles
    You need to make sure you fill your days up, volunteering working (scaling up your business) educating yourself (taking days courses say perhaps in investing/real estate). Perhaps you should also go and see a Life coach. But yelling at your gf isn't gonna help anything.

    It is a unique situation, but one many of us would slip into, if we were in the same shoes.

    Just remember happiness is a state of mind, two people can be enjoying the same experience, but only one is actually happy.

    Find out what makes you happy, you might be surprised at the joy of giving back. Make a plan today.

    Good-luck,

    Sam
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3504941].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JagSEO
    Well Ankur Sharma you are in the process where excitement's gone and you have to find another thing to make you excited again. Maybe you'll need some winding up to do and enjoy your life traveling. If you don't have money for travel that would be a nice motivation on your part again.
    Signature
    Hooked To Success -Personal development For People Who Wants Success.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3505620].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author wingman7
    My 2 cents worth..maybe you have lost faith in yourself..dont value yourself..think too much.

    Why not find a local charity and go out and help somebody. Get amongst people, help them, serve food in a shelter for homeless, join the volunteer fire department, maybe go to church! Become a scoutmaster. Your problem may be inside your head...isolation.

    We are social animals, you have no money worries, as was said in the 4 hour workweek, take care of business then do something for your soul. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND CONNECT WITH PEOPLE!

    Take care, the world needs you.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3508489].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author nerrutis
    Originally Posted by ankur sharma View Post

    Hi warriors,
    I am in very very strange situation. Few years back, i saw shiny ad "Make money online".It was so tempting. I focussed my entire attention on it. At that time, i had lot of debts on my head, plus my monthly salary wasnt that good. Those were hard financial time for me. Me and my gf wanted to marry, but we had very less financial resources.

    Cut to present situation. I have cleared my $30k debt, cleared my all credit card debts. I got money now for my marriage. Me and my gf will get marry next winters. I have savings and i can easily live for next 3 years. I am not saying, i am rich. Not by any short, but financially, things are pretty easy.

    Since my childhood, i havnt seen such a financial ease. But now, my problem is, i have lost all the motivation to work. The energy, spark and fire from inside, its all just gone now. I feel so much lack of energy now. I have started sleeping 10 hours a day. I just wake up, read forums , chat here and there, talk to my parents and youner sister. Meet me gf in evening and then i just go to bed.

    There is no motivation at all. When i try to work , everything feel so hard.

    May be first time in my life, i dont need to work for money and this situation is driving me crazy. I feel so much dense now. What should i do in this situation?

    On the contrary,i should enjoy my work now as i have no financial stress on my brain. But its just opposite. I am not that greedy, i always thought i want huge cars and all the flashy stuff. But now i am happy in my middle class income. No material stuff attracts me.

    I know, i can make lot of money, but because of my lazy behavior, i am slowly getting into depression. I just yell at my gf for no reason. She find it awkward as now we are going to get marry, there is no reason to be depressed. But , i just fail to explain to her, that i want to work non stop 8 hours per day. But because of lack of motivation, i just cant do it and thats making me a depressed person.

    How to get out of this situation?
    I would advise you short simple and nice advice - go to youtube and search for the keywords which disturbs you. You will be able to find many nice fideo giving you lots of self confidence and mood lifters!
    Thank you. (it really helped me many times)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3508618].message }}

Trending Topics