If You're Effective in Anything, You'll Have Haters

13 years ago

Spot on.

This applies to everything in life.

How you dress, what you say, who you hang out with.

In IM it applies to how you write, what kind of products you create etc.

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by YseUp

Spot on.

This applies to everything in life.

How you dress, what you say, who you hang out with.

In IM it applies to how you write, what kind of products you create etc.

Thanks! Glad you agree, great additions. I'm totally with you on this. Thanks for commenting.

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JustinP

13 years ago

Good call Ryan. You've nailed it.

I have noticed a direct increase in the number of haters, challengers, jealous people etc as my business has grown and become more successful.

I actually get a little worried now if I haven't been criticized or attacked for a period of time. It tells me I haven't been making enough of an impact

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by JustinP

Good call Ryan. You've nailed it.

I have noticed a direct increase in the number of haters, challengers, jealous people etc as my business has grown and become more successful.

I actually get a little worried now if I haven't been criticized or attacked for a period of time. It tells me I haven't been making enough of an impact

Thanks Justin! You've noticed an increase in haters?

Looks like you're effective in something!!

That's funny.. you get worried if you're not criticized or attacked. I like it man. That gives me a lot of reinforcement.

Great response.

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Edie47

13 years ago

Unfortunately, this is true. What we need to remember is that it is coming from their perception of us, not who we are as a person. Haters are filled with self-hate, jealousy, envy, etc. They are not going to change until they get some kind of help beyond what they can do for themselves.

Also unfortunately, if they are in our family or close circle of friends or business associates, they are difficult to avoid. That is why it is so important for us to realize - again - it isn't us!

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mech111

13 years ago

This is very true, and it was spot on!

Great Job!

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Nancy Fleck

13 years ago

People by nature will harbor jealous feelings. Accept this fact, because it is here to stay. The best way of dealing with it is by knowing that it exists. People will always think that the grass is greener on the other side.

Haters are a little scarey. Who knows what has made their brain work this way. Try to stay away from them if you can. I agree that these individuals need help. Work with these individuals if you must, carefully.

Also, for some reason people dislike that which they don't understand or perceive to be different than what 99.9 % of the general public do, say, or think. In reality though, we need diversity or everything and everyone would be the same. How boring a world would that be? How would we prosper at all?

People are critical, but don't take it personally. Learn from your mistakes and go on.

Nancy Fleck

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Nancy Fleck

People by nature will harbor jealous feelings. Accept this fact, because it is here to stay. The best way of dealing with it is by knowing that it exists. People will always think that the grass is greener on the other side.

Haters are a little scarey. Who knows what has made their brain work this way. Try to stay away from them if you can. I agree that these individuals need help. Work with these individuals if you must, carefully.

Also, for some reason people dislike that which they don't understand or perceive to be different than what 99.9 % of the general public do, say, or think. In reality though, we need diversity or everything and everyone would be the same. How boring a world would that be? How would we prosper at all?

People are critical, but don't take it personally. Learn from your mistakes and go on.

Nancy Fleck

Very awesome response Nancy.

You're right, we are in need of diversity, probably now more than ever!

I wouldn't want to see a world without it!

Thanks for commenting,

Ryan

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William Veasley

13 years ago

Hey,

You have a great point!

When your doing things good people want to hate on you, because they might not have the same success. It tends to go towards jealousness more times than none. Everyone is going to have hatters no matter who you are it's just part of life. It's up to you to learn how to ignore the hate unless its contructive criticism.

Thanks again!

God bless,
William Veasley

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by William Veasley

Hey,

You have a great point!

When your doing things good people want to hate on you, because they might not have the same success. It tends to go towards jealousness more times than none. Everyone is going to have hatters no matter who you are it's just part of life. It's up to you to learn how to ignore the hate unless its contructive criticism.

Thanks again!

God bless,
William Veasley

Good point. It's important to make the distinction between good criticism and abusive verbal attacks.

Thanks for commenting William, God bless.

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Algorithms

13 years ago

Yep, because if what your saying is right, then what there saying is probably wrong. Some people can't accept that, which prevents them from having civil discussions or debates.

Whether people laugh at, poke fun, or simply put you down, it's usually because they are jealous. One of my favorite quotes is "Living well is the best revenge."

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hwtran 13 years ago

That green-eyed monster has lots of subtle disguises, but when you pull away the mask of hate, resentment, or judgment, you're likely to see it there. People tend to hate, resent, or judge what they feel threatened by.

It's so sad people like that don't realize that it takes the same amount of energy to pursue something great/creative/satisfying for themselves as it does to spend their days trying to tear someone else down.
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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Algorithms

Yep, because if what your saying is right, then what there saying is probably wrong. Some people can't accept that, which prevents them from having civil discussions or debates.

Whether people laugh at, poke fun, or simply put you down, it's usually because they are jealous. One of my favorite quotes is "Living well is the best revenge."

I love that quote! I heard Tim Ferriss say that in a keynote.

Very Awesome! Thanks for your reply, means a lot.

Ryan

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Tony Tikos

13 years ago

There will always be someone out there to try and destroy your dreams, the truth is, you just got to ignore them because you are now thinking on a higher lever and different brain frequency then they are.

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by liveforeverfoods

There will always be someone out there to try and destroy your dreams, the truth is, you just got to ignore them because you are now thinking on a higher lever and different brain frequency then they are.

Great response. Having studied the neuroscience behind developmental thinking, you're right, it literally is a different brain frequency!

Thanks for commenting! Interesting name.

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Simon Lim

13 years ago

I remember seeing a dude wearing a shirt that said something like...

I love haters! Haters = Money

Made me smile...

Haters will always be there. If you want something different to what they're used to, if you want something more, they will hate. They're the ones that are scared.

They're scared of you leaving them for something better, scared of a change to what they are comfortable with, scared of losing what they think they have.

Unfortunately, it's often those that are closest to you that hate on you the most. I'm sure they mean well, but when you want something that is so far beyond anything they can comprehend, they need to defend what they believe in. And if that means trying to crush your dreams, that's what they'll do.

The key is to prove them wrong. Use that fuel and add it to the fire.

Haters will hate. Just don't let them kill you, or your dream.

Let it make you stronger.

Simon

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Simon Lim

I remember seeing a dude wearing a shirt that said something like...

I love haters! Haters = Money

Made me smile...

Haters will always be there. If you want something different to what they're used to, if you want something more, they will hate. They're the ones that are scared.

They're scared of you leaving them for something better, scared of a change to what they are comfortable with, scared of losing what they think they have.

Unfortunately, it's often those that are closest to you that hate on you the most. I'm sure they mean well, but when you want something that is so far beyond anything they can comprehend, they need to defend what they believe in. And if that means trying to crush your dreams, that's what they'll do.

The key is to prove them wrong. Use that fuel and add it to the fire.

Haters will hate. Just don't let them kill you, or your dream.

Let it make you stronger.

Simon

Great response man. Unfortunately, that totally is the case, people close to you will often try to keep you "realistic" or "grounded."

Funny shirt! I'm with it!

Thanks for commenting, Simon, I appreciate it man.

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JagSEO

13 years ago

Maybe smiling to your haters will make a big difference, they will love to hate you more.

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iamcarlie

13 years ago

That's very true. The more successful you are in what you do the more haters you have. Try not to be affected with their negativity and counter them with your positivity. In that way, you will not be affected by their attempt to make you fail.

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SonnyAmaama

13 years ago

I agree with all the warriors on here that haters will always be there. I hear it and see it everyday in my life. I really dont pay it any mind tho. When it comes from the people close to you, that when its very hurtful. But, I preceed to move on and keep doing my thing and keep my mind, ears and eyes open. I feel the more I stay true to myself, the more successful I would be. And I mean that in every way you can take it.

Its a sad story but thats just the life we live. If the mind would open the eyes will follow and the actions will aline its self with success. Thats just how I feel.

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wncmarket

13 years ago

Originally Posted by SonnyAmaama

I agree with all the warriors on here that haters will always be there. I hear it and see it everyday in my life. I really dont pay it any mind tho. When it comes from the people close to you, that when its very hurtful. But, I preceed to move on and keep doing my thing and keep my mind, ears and eyes open. I feel the more I stay true to myself, the more successful I would be. And I mean that in every way you can take it.

Its a sad story but thats just the life we live. If the mind would open the eyes will follow and the actions will aline its self with success. Thats just how I feel.

That is a good way to look at haters. Like a vampire they can suck the energy out of you if you let them. It is important not to take it personal also, if someone goes off on me I usually think their probably talking to their mother.

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SonnyAmaama

13 years ago

Originally Posted by wncmarket

That is a good way to look at haters. Like a vampire they can suck the energy out of you if you let them. It is important not to take it personal also, if someone goes off on me I usually think their probably talking to their mother.

Yeah I just look at them like "wow, you really had to go that low and hate me for doing what I do and trying to improve my situation". I don't hate people, I get jeolus because I want what others have, But I don't hate. I know I am in control of my own life and I have the ablilities to change my situation. I believe anybody can if they really truly want it that bad. But I guess if there wasn't any haters success wouldn't be that much sweeter. Three words, I LOVE HATERS.

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AnimalSpirit

13 years ago

Yep... that's true. People get jealous of what you are and what you do, they listen to you in disbelieve and sometimes don't listen to you at all. The good news is after you become successful everyone wants to become your friend.

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by AnimalSpirit

Yep... that's true. People get jealous of what you are and what you do, they listen to you in disbelieve and sometimes don't listen to you at all. The good news is after you become successful everyone wants to become your friend.

Thanks for responding. Yea, sadly, you're right!

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Affiguy

13 years ago

People start envy you and your success only because they have no idea what you have sacrificed to make it. It can cost you your time, sleep, friends, normal family and so on. And seeing you rolling like cheese in butter will, sure, arouse some discomfort in others, but it is only because they don't see the down dark side. And let's be frank, we are not always eager to show it.

Maybe, we should be more honest and not only trying to show off our achievements.

Another point
I guess it is a sound idea to put yourself in someone's shoes first, i mean 'all that glitters is not gold'. Think about positive points of where you are at the moment and be happy!

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Affiguy

People start envy you and your success only because they have no idea what you have sacrificed to make it. It can cost you your time, sleep, friends, normal family and so on. And seeing you rolling like cheese in butter will, sure, arouse some discomfort in others, but it is only because they don't see the down dark side. And let's be frank, we are not always eager to show it.

Maybe, we should be more honest and not only trying to show off our achievements.

Another point
I guess it is a sound idea to put yourself in someone's shoes first, i mean 'all that glitters is not gold'. Think about positive points of where you are at the moment and be happy!

Thanks for commenting. You make a good point that often times, it's hard to really know what it takes to start being effective in some area, thus, it's easy to criticize.

Great response, solid points, thanks for replying.

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NathanZad

13 years ago

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naruq 13 years ago

Jealousy and Haters have no wings. I just ignore them.
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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by NathanZad

It is so much easier to hate on someone else's creativity and ability to take action than it is to actually do those things yourself.

Just remember to be on the right side of the equation: the creative, action-oriented side of things, and you won't care so much about the spectators who can only satisfy their impotence by throwing stones.

One of my fave quotes:

'The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.' - Oscar Wilde

Nate

With ya Nate. Love that quote man, good mind element.

Thanks for commenting! Always appreciate your words my friend.

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mookes

13 years ago

to understanding and take deeply talk with heart to heart is more reliable to ge connected well with others, cheers

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Anthony W

13 years ago

I dunno.. Justin Beiber's pretty successful and no one hates him ; )

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Kanapemo

13 years ago

So true, i have met a few of those in my lifetime and i am sure as i climb the ladder of success am going to meet lots more

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Fred1

13 years ago

"To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard

Even Jesus said to beware when all men speak well of you.

My son experienced haters for the first time when he earned a starting position on his H.S. football team. He was bothered by comments from a couple of critics/haters.

I said to him... "When you were a backup, did you have any haters?" He said No. I then told him that anytime you are successful, moving forward and/or getting thing accomplished you will have haters who surface,.. they let you know that you are on the right track.

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Fred1

"To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard

Even Jesus said to beware when all men speak well of you.

My son experienced haters for the first time when he earned a starting position on his H.S. football team. He was bothered by comments from a couple of critics/haters.

I said to him... "When you were a backup, did you have any haters?" He said No. I then told him that anytime you are successful, moving forward and/or getting thing accomplished you will have haters who surface,.. they let you know that you are on the right track.

Very good comparison. Thanks for sharing your story Fred, you're totally right. I didn't know Jesus said that!!

Man! Thanks Jese!

Great comment, thanks for replying Fred.

Ryan

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ryanbiddulph

13 years ago

Hi RC,

Excellent post and a great truth here, thanks for sharing!

Once you become really good at what you do, some people who don't believe in themselves will fear you. They might proceed to engage in drinking hater-aid because they feel you're a threat and will do what it takes to dissuade you.

Then you have the camp that likes what you're doing but doesn't know how to express it. This is what Reverend Run meant when he said "Haters are confused admirers."

Ignore both camps. Anybody worth your time will be nurturing and supportive, and even if this camp disagrees with you they will do so in a diplomatic, pleasant and helpful matter.

Great stuff RC!

RB

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Joe Mobley 13 years ago

Tim Ferriss (4-Hour-Workweek) video regarding haters.

Tim Ferriss Scam! Practical Tactics for Dealing with Haters

Joe Mobley
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- rcritchett 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Joe Mobley
  
  Tim Ferriss (4-Hour-Workweek) video regarding haters.
  
  Tim Ferriss Scam! Practical Tactics for Dealing with Haters
  
  Joe Mobley
  
  Joe man!
  
  Yea dude.. this video is totally it. I watch it whenever I get a massive kick in the neck from the hater brigade.
  
  Happy to see you've seen it and suggest it. Tim seriously is an enhancement to evolution.
  
  Thanks for commenting Joe.
  
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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph

Hi RC,

Excellent post and a great truth here, thanks for sharing!

Once you become really good at what you do, some people who don't believe in themselves will fear you. They might proceed to engage in drinking hater-aid because they feel you're a threat and will do what it takes to dissuade you.

Then you have the camp that likes what you're doing but doesn't know how to express it. This is what Reverend Run meant when he said "Haters are confused admirers."

Ignore both camps. Anybody worth your time will be nurturing and supportive, and even if this camp disagrees with you they will do so in a diplomatic, pleasant and helpful matter.

Great stuff RC!

RB

Yo! Thanks man. Means a lot. I never heard that before.. confused admirers. Makes so much sense.

That's seriously a deal clincher. That seals it up! I'll use that for sure.

MAN! I can't get over that.. confused admirers, that's so freaking precise.

Thanks for commenting my brother,

Ryan

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Peter Gehr

13 years ago

It's a shame that we have to endure the haters, but they keep us on our toes and do us favor in the long run.

Although it can be irritating, it's what comes out of it that makes the difference.
The irritating sandy grit in a clam causes the clam to cover it with layers of secretion to eventually form a pearl.

I think it's a choice people make to go down the hater road. It makes them feel powerful and they get their kicks out of going there, but it's temporary and destructive and they end up grumpy old *******s who complain and moan about everything, and end up bitter to the end.

Definitely a path to avoid.

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rcritchett

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Peter Gehr

It's a shame that we have to endure the haters, but they keep us on our toes and do us favor in the long run.

Although it can be irritating, it's what comes out of it that makes the difference.
The irritating sandy grit in a clam causes the clam to cover it with layers of secretion to eventually form a pearl.

I think it's a choice people make to go down the hater road. It makes them feel powerful and they get their kicks out of going there, but it's temporary and destructive and they end up grumpy old *******s who complain and moan about everything, and end up bitter to the end.

Definitely a path to avoid.

Great perspective Peter.

You worded this perfectly. It's "temporary and destructive," "complain and moan about everything," so precise my man.

Thanks for commenting Peter!

Ryan

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sufian991

13 years ago

that is so true

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brettb

13 years ago

Good post Ryan. I'm inspired by Grizz's post on his blog the other day where he talks about taking on the big guns in his niche. Kick up a storm in your niche, and you'll get all the natural backlinks in the world!

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RenegadeSC 13 years ago

Thanks for the post. I try to remind myself of this all the time. But frankly, it's never enough. Surrounding yourself with people who are like you helps. Like minded, goal orientated people will tell you it's okay...forget about the naysayers and press on!

Thanks guys and girls!
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PetterHedman

13 years ago

You sure have a good point here!

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rcritchett

13 years ago

@brettb, awesome! Taking on the big guns huh? Cool!

@PetterHedman, thanks man.. and thanks for coming over to the blog. Great to have you.

@marksumpter, you got it friend. I'm totally with you. You're right.. it's.. confirming, to say the least, when you find other people that see it the same way that you do. It's a big deal! Thanks for your replies everyone, great to meet some of you I haven't interacted with yet here on the forum.

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zigato

13 years ago

I agree. In Australia we call it the 'tall poppy syndrome'... people like to cut others down who are stand out.

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AEC

13 years ago

Originally Posted by zigato

I agree. In Australia we call it the 'tall poppy syndrome'... people like to cut others down who are stand out.

I like that one.

It is interesting to hear what people from other parts of the world come up with for a descriptive phrase.
I think that part of the reason people hate the more successful is because the more successful make them feel guilty for not getting of their duff and making something of themselves. They think if they "cut them down" it will make them feel better.:confused: Really dumb philosophy!

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365Daysof

13 years ago

Originally Posted by AEC

I think that part of the reason people hate the more successful is because the more successful make them feel guilty for not getting of their duff and making something of themselves. They think if they "cut them down" it will make them feel better.:confused: Really dumb philosophy!

I don't think it's that they think it will make them feel better, but rather that they choose to believe what they say, because the human brain is VERY invested in being right.

For example, I just read a study where parents were asked a series of questions about the benefits of having children.

A portion of the group were shown statistics suggesting that having children was a damaging proposition, financially and emotionally before the questionnaire.

They answered the questions overwhelmingly MORE in favor of having children than the control group.

I have no doubt that it's because they have children, they've made that decision, now they have to be RIGHT, for their own sanity, essentially.

This is the same type of process, IMO.

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jburns

13 years ago

Ha your so right good one dude! don't let them effect you, just keep pumping!

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Devid Farah

13 years ago

You have hit the 'nail' rightly at the proper point because i have also noticed that some people are not comfortable with successful strides one is making.

For example, i know few people who had kept questioning my decision to go for IM while they will talk about the prospects in my presence but will readily backbite at my back.

One lesson is for all to keep at the good strides and COMPLETELY ignore the pessimists and their negative criticisms.

Then end always justifies the means.

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365Daysof

13 years ago

Ryan, you reminded of a book I just read and thoroughly enjoyed: Overachievement, by John Eliot, PhD.

His premise is simple: If you are extraordinary, you are by definition not ordinary, and people fear and dislike those who are different.

He talks a lot about how to become extraordinary, how to nurture that in yourself as well, but that was my big slice of the pie - what I wanted to get from the book.

*smiles*

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redghost

13 years ago

I have haters 10 miles away. It's called Madison, WI.

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Affiguy

13 years ago

more awful, there are some so to say active haters, who are ready to do anything to make you feel bad. I try to keep far from envious persons.

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rcritchett

13 years ago

@SonnyAmaama Isn't it amazing? People will go that low! Thanks for participating and commenting.

@pethanks Glad you agree my friend. Thanks for commenting.

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We do mail-in iPhone Repair Services, Nationwide in the US. LCD/Digitizer Glass Replacement And More.

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JTDrew

13 years ago

"If your not pissing people off then your not doing enough"
Chet Holmes

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