Why people fail and the secret to success

by donhx
20 replies
Here is more sense about success than I have read in a long time. It comes from Kevin Hogan. He says:

"Here's the hard truth [about success]. Write this down on paper, paint it on the wall. Post it on your computer: The answer is simple.

You didn't do two things...combined to form The Ultimate Key, that are necessary for success:


* It has nothing to do with a positive attitude.
* It has nothing to do with what you "believe."
* It has nothing to do with positive thinking.
* It has nothing to do with working smarter instead of harder.
* It has nothing to do with having your intentions aligned with the universe and attracting something.
* It has nothing to do with what was meant to be.
* It has nothing to do with 'the Secret'.


1. You didn't CONTINUE until it was DONE.
2. You didn't walk through the fire of discomfort, pain and fear.

* You quit when it got hard.
* You quit when it got frustrating.
* You got tired.
* You got angry.
* You were upset.
* You were apathetic.

You let your feelings get in the way of what you wanted in life, and then to make it all OK, you determined:

a) it doesn't work or
b) who really wants to do X, anyway?


3. The Ultimate Key is to face that which you are uncomfortable with but have decided you will defeat...and walk in the fire...though uncomfortable...and come out the other side having controlled your feelings and discovered the power of Self Control and Personal Destiny."


I think Hogan is exactly on target when he says to succeed, a person must:

"See, Believe, Begin, Continue, Finish."
#fail #people #secret #success
  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Banned
    Great advice. Thanks for posting that Dohnx. :-) I absolutely love the part about walking through fire and coming out the other side more empowered.

    Here's something similar I wrote the other day for those who haven't read it:

    http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...myf9gOzWrWftSL
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    • Profile picture of the author Vortex Creator
      What a screwed up belief system. No wonder you need to walk through a fire to clean that mess up. "If you don't enter an epic struggle you are not worthy of what you want"

      Anything you want in life is because you believe you will feel better in the having/being/doing/experiencing of it. It's just absolutely contradictory to me to struggle for anything that makes me feel good.

      You want the kingdom of heaven? Then stop struggling, go within and KNOW.
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      • Profile picture of the author donhx
        Originally Posted by Phill_cH View Post

        What a screwed up belief system. No wonder you need to walk through a fire to clean that mess up. "If you don't enter an epic struggle you are not worthy of what you want"

        Anything you want in life is because you believe you will feel better in the having/being/doing/experiencing of it. It's just absolutely contradictory to me to struggle for anything that makes me feel good.

        You want the kingdom of heaven? Then stop struggling, go within and KNOW.

        I'm not sure at all that Hogan is saying that people must struggle to succeed. He is saying that, while feelings are valid, they often lead us to failure for the reasons he gives. As Hogan says elsewhere, "Feelings have no IQ." Total dependence upon feelings is the path to failure, and one must put the emphasis on rational action.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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        Hey Phill

        I speak from personal experience when I say one of the most fulfilling and rewarding ways to develop and grow personally is to do that which you're afraid of. Face
        “The Fire Of Discomfort, Pain, And Fear”... and you'll be more empowered.

        “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. We must do that which we think we cannot,” as Eleanor Roosevelt said.

        And in case you missed it, Phill, Kevin Hogan was basically saying what I said: "Choose to be successful and keep taking action." :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author gekko2.0
    Interesting take,

    I 100% agree with this part of the theory:

    1. You didn't CONTINUE until it was DONE.
    2. You didn't walk through the fire of discomfort, pain and fear.

    * You quit when it got hard.
    * You quit when it got frustrating.
    * You got tired.
    * You got angry.
    * You were upset.
    * You were apathetic.

    But I think that without a positive mental attitude and believing in yourself and what you are doing overcoming those obstacles becomes even more difficult....just a thought
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    • Profile picture of the author donhx
      Originally Posted by gekko2.0 View Post


      But I think that without a positive mental attitude and believing in yourself and what you are doing overcoming those obstacles becomes even more difficult....just a thought
      And a good thought. But what happens when your Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) begins to falter...as it does with all of us at some point? In that case it is best, as Hogan says, to just finish what you are doing rather than let your attitude (positive or negative) affect you.

      It seems to me that PMA is something people invent to bolster their feelings of inadequacy. It is the thin ice on the pond and it is easy to fall through into the depths of a Negative Mental Attitude. I think Hogan is saying... and I agree... is that the focus should be on the task (finishing) rather than our ever-changing feelings about the task.

      In that sense, ideas about PMA don't help. A PMA is a rather transparent psychological device we use for masking our fear of failure. The only "attitude" needed is, "I'm going to finish this."
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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        Depending how you look at it, I think having a "Strong Mental Attitude" will take you much further than just saying "I'm going to finish this."

        From what I can tell, Kevin Hogan was making a point rather than saying a person shouldn't have those qualities.

        Combine everything for maximum effect. :-)
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        • Profile picture of the author donhx
          Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

          Depending how you look at it, I think having a "Strong Mental Attitude" will take you much further than just saying "I'm going to finish this."

          From what I can tell, Kevin Hogan was making a point rather than saying a person shouldn't have those qualities.

          Combine everything for maximum effect. :-)
          You are right for sure. We are just in the drill down. Ultimately, we cannot let our success depend on how we feel. We should be capable of success if we feel strong or weak. And we can do that if we focus on the task rather than our feelings about it. True words as you say, "Combine everything for maximum effect."
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  • Profile picture of the author vtrujillo
    Thanks for the post, great info and perspective. I have to agree that a positive attitude should definitely be a part of anyones success toolbox. I have found that positive attitude alone has taken me through many difficult times. And to continue through the difficult times it is also necessary to just "do" as well.

    I think that mastering ones feelings can also mean directing your feelings of potential failure into positivity, success and determination.

    Both sides are perhaps necessary for great levels of success. They have helped me anyways.

    "See, Believe, Begin, Continue, Finish."
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  • Profile picture of the author credasys
    Thanks for your tips mate. I will always remember this.
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  • Profile picture of the author Vortex Creator
    The terminology is very cloudy here. When you talk about "how we feel" you refer to "our in the moment mood" and I was talking about in the moment emotional guidance. I'm taking the non-physical me into consideration aswell.

    I can tell you that there is wayyy more intelligence in feeling than there is in logic. Thoughts make us run in circles because most of them come from memory and don't have their offspring in consciousness in the moment that they are thought (so we're basically thinking in terms of past, not in terms of present, and not even remotely in terms of future) while "a feeling" is a convergence of infinite intelligence than can tell you with 100% precision what is going on in the eternal NOW (past, present & future).
    So logic can only tell you that going left (A) instead of right (B) will give you more pleasure because it brings you faster to your desired outcome (based on it's analysis of path A and B (remember, mind thinks in terms of past)).
    A Feeling can tell you whether you should go left(A) or right(B) based on all of your desires, the desires & intentions of others, convergences of circumstances, places, events that will bring you to that person you once wanted to meet a long time ago (C) and a healthier body (because you follow an 'effortless' route) (D) .

    In my opinion the person who follows their feelings is more likely to have a fulfilling life experience than the logic-oriented person aiming at 'getting it done'. Look at sex: Who has more pleasure? The man or the woman? ;p
    I can't tell you how appreciative I am of my emotions - they are our connection to source and at the same time guiding us to all of our desires.
    Let's say we have 2 basketball players competing against eachother. One is "the feeling guy", very "in the zone" because he has connected with the larger part of him that also keeps his body in balance, knows exactly what the other person is thinking and always knows his current location, direction, speed & the location of the basketball basket. He only plays when he feels inspired to, which was quite often recently. The other person "the rational guy" did a really good job of preparing himself for the match. He practised the whole week, every day for 2 hours because he knows that's what Michael Jordan did, so he did the same because he thinks it will make him successful to do what successful people do (you always gotta follow your dream, no?). He's actually following the dream of someone else there.
    Am I painting a distorted picture for your 'rational' basket-ball player? Lol, because that's the picture my mind paints when it thinks of a rational person.
    Obviously in my scenario the feeling guy wins because he has infinite intelligence at his fingertips, flowing through him and turning him into an absolute machine that no-one could beat - a basketball god. The other guy simply has no chance because his 'knowledge' didn't take into consideration how weak his feet would be today after playing so much every day and not taking breaks, being dehydrated because he forgot to drink & not being 100% focused because he's not living in the now like the other guy who's in the zone.


    What is your definition of success? Getting what your mind thinks you want? Winning that match? Success for most people is often times tied to 'what other people think'. My mind tells me I want/need that $1M Aston Martin. It will give me status, tell my parents I'm worth something & dang it will it be fun to show it to my friends! Getting it as fast as possible? Then my mind starts calculating how long it needs to work for it to have it...hmm: 2 years? 3? And then it would start getting to work: programming itself for that car to be here in it's hands.

    Success - in my opinion - is not something that is earned, it is our natural birthright. It's individually closing the gap between where we are and where we want to be. And going out into contrast "the fire of pain, struggling, etc." is simply the consequence of being a physically focused human being where we actually can experience separation from source. It's not necessary for us to experience the agony of separation in order for us to experience the ecstasy of connection when of course stronger contrast will produce stronger clarity.

    Am I making sense here? As you see, this topic is quite important to me lol.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
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      Originally Posted by Phill_cH View Post

      Am I making sense here? As you see, this topic is quite important to me lol.
      (Haha) Nothing wrong with writing a lot when you're new. :-)
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    • Profile picture of the author donhx
      So many issues, so little time.

      My view is different than yours. Emotions are good, but they tend to betray us. For example, anger is an emotion, and that is one that will lose you money, break relationships, even get you put away in prison. I would like to get angry more often than I do, but my emotions are subject to my reason and I know anger is an unreasonable emotional response if it ends up hurting me.

      Then, as another example, there is PMA like we were talking about before. I don't want my success dependent on whether I feel positive or not. I like to feel positive and think it is a good thing, but it is an emotion (or state of being) --but I'm willing to succeed with a Negative Mental Attitude if that's what it takes. It takes a lot of energy to maintain a PMA, so I would rather put that energy into completing the task rather than constantly monitoring my attitude to make sure it's positive.

      Yes, the task is important. That's what I like about what Hogan is saying. All our energy is laser focused on: "See, Believe, Begin, Continue, Finish." ... not on feelings that are generated by the weather, a phone call, what your spouse said, your bank statement, whether your favorite teams will make it to the play-off's etc, etc. I say, forget emotions when it comes to the task--just do it. Save the emotions for other aspects of life. Too many good things in life are lost because someone felt too mad, too sad, too tired or too some other feeling to focus on the task.

      You touch on another facet of emotions, and that is the guidance they give up. That is the old debate about intuition and reason. There should be a balance in that I would think, except that in critical situations, reason should always rule. Emotions may be an offensive thing, but reason must rule in defensive situations, I'd say.

      We come to close agreement on your point, "It's individually closing the gap between where we are and where we want to be." I believe that's true. People define their own success--for some it is getting the toys, for others it is a sense of security and for others it is changing the world. I'm not sure about success being a "birthright" however. That's a very American-type idea. I have been to many countries where that would be a very alien notion.

      I would like to discuss your idea of "separation from source" but that is a big thought and would require some definitions. If you mean what I think you mean, that could be another thread!
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  • Profile picture of the author donnarn
    Believe, Begin, Continue, Finish, Thank you for that, Now if we live by that daily we all should be very productive, successfull, happy, wealthy.
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    dhrn

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    • Profile picture of the author assertiveone
      Originally Posted by donnarn View Post

      Believe, Begin, Continue, Finish, Thank you for that, Now if we live by that daily we all should be very productive, successfull, happy, wealthy.
      Absolutely true.
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      • Profile picture of the author Vortex Creator
        Even though I'm a person who doesn't want everyone to agree because we are all on our unique path I agree with you somewhat now lol^^

        You are more interested in cultivating our ability to follow through on our intentions. Practising integrity in that regard is very important, yes. If you say you do something, do it. If you wanna do something, do it. No excuses.

        When someone is scattered because of his focus on his surroundings all he did was do a lousy job in focusing his mind on his target - getting distracted is easy for any monkey-mind. Having that indormable will is powerful.

        Yep, anger in your heart will hurt everything in your life in time but it's better than powerlessness! So it's about what is appropriate "in the moment". When we live in the moment we don't get that easily distracted by those emotions that are not happening in the present moment.

        "Separation from source" is indeed something that touches any human being & would definietely take more than just a forum post to discuss lol xD
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  • Profile picture of the author talamoth
    Donhx - Thanks for posting! I don't agree with the first part of your post as it has pertained to my life. I would NEVER have persisted through adversity, laziness, pain, fear or discomfort without the benefit of a positive mindset. I am the type of individual who is more patterned toward negative thinking than others. It took me about 20 years to make a correlation between the failures in my life and my negative thoughts and assumptions. "Fear begets fear."

    For me, once I challenged myself and began to consciously replace the negativity with positive thoughts and assumptions, life began to change accordingly.
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  • Profile picture of the author rain21
    its great and I believe its true , TanQ
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  • Profile picture of the author britannia
    Thats actually a really cool way of putting it all, i found myself in the past saying i cant be arsed to do that or i want a break and things got let undone and then forgot about. Key really is to get the task done and move to the next task.
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