Are you addicted to self-help?!

13 years ago

Hello Mikecsy. I agree with you. I like to tell people..."Study, Take Action, Don't Quit!" You can't make money and be successful if you don't take action. But self-help definitely helps motivate and inspire people...gets them to think positive. We live in a very negative world.

To Your Success,
Brad Marcus

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hireava

13 years ago

Originally Posted by bradmarcus1

Hello Mikecsy. I agree with you. I like to tell people..."Study, Take Action, Don't Quit!" You can't make money and be successful if you don't take action. But self-help definitely helps motivate and inspire people...gets them to think positive. We live in a very negative world.

To Your Success,
Brad Marcus

I also agree, very well said! That explains all.

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John Broberg

13 years ago

I thought maybe politicians, drug lords, and used-car salesmen prey on people.

That attitude sucks because it places all the blame on someone else. If you're going to help yourself, then do it. Otherwise, you'll just complain yourself into an early grave.

If you pick up a book labeled self-help, don't expect someone else to do it for you.

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Will Edwards

13 years ago

I was until I escaped the matrix.

Will

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assertiveone

13 years ago

Reading Self Help books is also another way of procrastinating.You read endless books in the hope of finding the magic formula which is just another excuse for doing nothing.

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magnates

13 years ago

Originally Posted by assertiveone

Reading Self Help books is also another way of procrastinating.You read endless books in the hope of finding the magic formula which is just another excuse for doing nothing.

Yes , i am guilty of that . Don't take as much action as i would like to.It is like i am reading just while away the time . reading for entertainment and sometimes not serious about taking action sometimes

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ChrisKahler

13 years ago

I'm not addicted to "self help" I am addicted to "helping others". I think self help is backwards and really we should be learning how to help others. In the process of helping others, you yourself will learn tons more than by diving into books that all say the same things. This has been true according to my personal experience.

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Michael Newman

13 years ago

Originally Posted by ChrisKahler

I'm not addicted to "self help" I am addicted to "helping others". I think self help is backwards and really we should be learning how to help others. In the process of helping others, you yourself will learn tons more than by diving into books that all say the same things. This has been true according to my personal experience.

I agree that most of the books are saying the same things, using different formats and words. They can be a form of escapism for some, but I doubt if there's a deliberate ploy to prey on people.

There are people who are ''so down'' that they can't conceive of changing their focus to helping others. If you're going through hard times, it's difficult to have the confidence to think that you even have something of value to share.

I've been reading self-help books for decades, and I have no plans to stop. I know I'm making progress because of some of the lessons. At times, a single sentence can transform lives. ''There's a gap between stimulus and response'''...that's just an example.

Some of the lessons/insights from such books and programs, that a few of us take for granted, are really new concepts to some other people. I was talking to some young friends last night, and I observed that most of them have not clearly defined their paths. They're confused and opportunistic. And thus have very little...

I'll keep reading the books (I spend most of my time on ACTION), even if only to equip myself with a refreshing and motivating metaphor structure that I can always leverage to help others.

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ChrisKahler

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Michael Newman

I agree that most of the books are saying the same things, using different formats and words. They can be a form of escapism for some, but I doubt if there's a deliberate ploy to prey on people.

There are people who are ''so down'' that they can't conceive of changing their focus to helping others. If you're going through hard times, it's difficult to have the confidence to think that you even have something of value to share.

I've been reading self-help books for decades, and I have no plans to stop. I know I'm making progress because of some of the lessons. At times, a single sentence can transform lives. ''There's a gap between stimulus and response'''...that's just an example.

Some of the lessons/insights from such books and programs, that a few of us take for granted, are really new concepts to some other people. I was talking to some young friends last night, and I observed that most of them have not clearly defined their paths. They're confused and opportunistic. And thus have very little...

I'll keep reading the books (I spend most of my time on ACTION), even if only to equip myself with a refreshing and motivating metaphor structure that I can always leverage to help others.

You have a point! I guess we all do need to find a starting point somewhere... I'm not going to lie, I read them too, but I do try to apply what I learn in others lives the best I can

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The Great Gordino 13 years ago

It's a good point, but I think maybe come at from the wrong angle.

Activity, learning, preparing, they *are* all taking action.

Part of the goal achievement formula is to work out how to get there, to gain the knowledge.
By gaining knowledge, you are taking action.

The key point is that you have to put that knowledge into action.

So, there's nothing wrong with learning, in fact that activity is essential!
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- mikecsy 13 years ago
  
  Hey Gordon,
  I agree we can never have enough knowledge but "paralysis by analysis" can set in then nothing gets done. Thanks for the post.
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Macksheppard

13 years ago

Great advice. Learning about something is NOT taking action. What you describe is avoidance and to a degree I think we all do it. I like the cameo metaphor. You also forget the information you don't use to implement.

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mikecsy 13 years ago

Oh so true, Mack. Thanks for the comment.
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The Great Gordino

13 years ago

I agree Mike, that paralysis by analysis can be a goal stopper, blimey I've fallen victim to it myself many times.

It was just this paragraph that made me think 'hang on!'

Originally Posted by mikecsy

There's a huge difference between activity and action. Activity keeps your goal at arms length where as action moves you closer to your objective.

I would substitute 'research only' for activity, and 'acting on research' for action.

This is a great point you make, and I've inserted my replacements:
So stop and look at your mission and ask yourself "Am I any closer to my goal than I was 6 months ago" and if the answer is "no". I would venture to guess that you are substituting activity(research only) for action(acting on research).

Finding out how to do something is not the same as then going on and actually doing it, great point!

Hmm, actually as I'm typing I feel another point coming, that when you *are* doing the research, it's valuable to rephrase that research into language that relates to you individually.

Cheers,
Gordon

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summerbuzz

13 years ago

I am not addicted to self-help.
I help myself at times but not to the extent that I no longer accept other's help.
It is always nice to have others view.
I love Brainstorming

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naruq 13 years ago

Mikecsy very Insightful angle to look at self help and to really find out if it is helping or hurting a particular person.
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mikecsy

13 years ago

BTW guys, I'm a admitted self-help junkie (both for personal enjoyment and professional development) and I get a ton of great tools by reading. I have just found that too many people think just reading the book is going to change their life but it needs to be combined with consistent targeted action.
To Your Success,
Mike

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The Niche Man 13 years ago

In the case of self help books. I would define a person who keeps buying and reading self-help books but never taking action.

That's my personal definition of self-help book addiction. And like all addicts they suffer similar fates; broke, confused and imbalanced.
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The Great Gordino 13 years ago

Originally Posted by mikecsy

too many people think just reading the book is going to change their life but it needs to be combined with consistent targeted action.

I think this sums it up in a nutshell!
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gkramer86

Banned 13 years ago

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mello 13 years ago

"The answer is within"
Socrates

Trouble is, most folks are looking for the answer 'out there' in books and mp3s and programs. (Lucky for me 'cos that's my business!)

Seriously, not everyone has the capacity to get things clear in their head or develop habits and behaviours that serve them best, me included.

That's why when your Camaro breaks down you find an expert (like me or Mikecsy) who can help you get it running better. I don't consider that preying on people any more than many of the offers on this forum, or the IMers offerring golfing tips or the people throughout the weight loss industry.

For me it's more about applying my skills and knowledge and experience to helping people. and yes people get caught up in the search (eg reading too many self help books) and fail to actually take action ... but then that's what coaches are for, eh?
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Edie47

13 years ago

Originally Posted by mikecsy

There's a huge difference between activity and action. Activity keeps your goal at arms length where as action moves you closer to your objective. So stop and look at your mission and ask yourself "Am I any closer to my goal than I was 6 months ago" and if the answer is "no". I would venture to guess that you are substituting activity for action.

To Your Success,
Mike

I agree! As someone who has purchased almost every shiny object course and ebook available, with a good share of them still on the to-read pile, I can honestly say I made hardly any progress until I took action. Now I can look back and see how much I have accomplished in a fairly short amount of time.

Activity keeps us busy, but action moves us forward. Yes!

BTW - love the '69 Camaro example!

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timpane

Banned 13 years ago

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The Barker CEO 13 years ago

I agree with Chris, when he says Self Help, really should be Helping Others. I look at Pat Flynn from Smart Passive Income, he is helping out allot of people get into IM. He is also helping himself as well.

I guess with all of the Self Help Books, is yes they are good. Just apply what you learn, and hold yourself accountable and assess yourself each day!

The Barker CEO
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- DanteRomero 13 years ago
  
  Many certainly do that. But, there are some people who really do want to help. And, of those, some that actually do.
  
  One that I firmly believe in is Simpleology.com. And, like you guys mentioned, it focuses on Action. I've seen many people go down that road of book after book, but no application. It's frustrating to watch.
  
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  Richest 13 years ago
  
  I was the one. I read many books, attending a lot of seminar and courses. I even borrowed some money just to attend some training which offers a kinda "magic pills". My intention is to be free from financial crisis. But 3 years of reading and attending training/seminar is getting me nowhere. I'm still deeply in debt, and don't have a clue to find a way out.
  
  Sure it all added value to my knowledge. But never got me to have more cash, or extra income. Also never got money to fall into my lap out of thin air :p
  
  So here I am, taking action by learning IM. I know it's not get rich quick scheme. But I have made decision to start from here. I hope this is the right action
  
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  Niky Ray 13 years ago
  
  To me, addiction (as just about every other behavior) is a state of mind. It's your choice to be addicted that matters, not what you are addicted to.
  
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Vortex Creator

13 years ago

I agree. I'm often times very active but it's really just beating around the bush. When you're truly on-point you're on-target and on-purpose - that's when the magic happens.

But you can also use the fact that you are not yet where you want to be as a club to beat yourself over the head with...unnecessary self-motivating force. Your soul's always calling you so just listen to that

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theory expert

Banned 13 years ago

Every person I have encountered who makes money from selling books etc does so for their own self interest. The day I see different I will gladly let you know.

Disclaimer: On that note I am sure some people sell product to help others.

Unfortunately, some product owners may not realize if they're needing to make an income from their activities then they have to "stretch" the product to give added value. i.e if someone paid for a $5000 seminar and the speaker came in and said, " Hello audience, you don't need me, look within and just do it! Thank you for coming".

The audience would be quite pissed. The truth doesn't make money, so, products, 80 page books, etc gets sold and perpetuates a myth. Now the world believes that x,y,z must be the way because out of 100 books they read, it says so.

Lifes a parodox.

Soap box over sorry.

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CK Trust

13 years ago

Originally Posted by mikecsy

So stop and look at your mission and ask yourself "Am I any closer to my goal than I was 6 months ago" and if the answer is "no". I would venture to guess that you are substituting activity for action.

To Your Success,
Mike

Hey Mike,

You got me thinking with your post... I know these times, reading a book or studying a course on self-help and getting all fired up on the gathered knowledge. 100% motivated to get the ball rolling, only to realise that a few weeks later, everything is still the same as before, substituting activity for action. Always reminding myself to check if I really did progress REALLY is the key here... I've been doing it unconscious but that's not enough, to make it constant and conscious is a big one you remind me today....

Over the last few month I had a good handful of days where I considered all my gathered knowledge as worthless, because I thought I still be where I've been at the start, not being able to really 'get it'. Leaving me with the feeling of an addiction to those books and courses that maybe stop me more than anything else... Which resulted in the feeling of having missed something and wanting to get my next fix, nearly like withdrawl symptoms.

But going back mentally over the last 6 month, I've come a long way... It's not always constant and I'm an impatiant person, haha... But to have a conscious look back every so often sets things into perspective. It makes it easier to realise that sometimes it is more of a journey then a race. Everything in it's perfect time. Everything IS unfolding... The camaro IS getting a fulltime make-over, from the inside to the outside. NICE, Haha...

Great post, thanks man!

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theory expert

Banned 13 years ago

OP you didnt have to PM me about your coaching services. You can say what you needed here. I was simply giving my perspective on what I think goes on with paid [fill in the blank].

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John Durham

13 years ago

Self help is something you listen to in your car, or in bed at night, or on a trip, or while you are making breakfast... As longing as you are working and not stopping your work flow to do it, it will increase your productivity... but if you are just sitting around listening to it, its like over filling your tank with gas, or flooding your carburetor... The energy has to "flow" and circulate... if its damned up, everything goes to hell... Its called "The motivational speaker planted his seed in lazy ground". Worthless.

Well maybe not "Worthless" because later on that seed can grow I guess... but still it could be fueling productivity NOW! What a waste!

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theAdviserMe

13 years ago

I am not really addicted but I am just attracted to self-help materials...

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scortillion

13 years ago

Great post! You hit the target dead on. I've been guilty of what you said myself from time to time. Read, learn but do tomorrow and tomorrow never comes...

Action is key! You can read all the books and magazines on body building, but if you never lift a weight you're still going to look like you are looking now...

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MaineCoon

13 years ago

I totally agree with you. I know so much that I could make things work but didn't take acton... ACTON! but recently I did and I see more results.

Same concept for colleges, you can go to college and get a degree. You have all the book knowledge but no action taken to get job experience. Doesn't mean you will land yourself a good job.

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mccartyjess

13 years ago

Thanks for sharing! This is so true of me! I love to read and gain lots of knowledge but have a major problem putting anything into action! That needs to be my new focus!

Jess

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Phil Halloran

13 years ago

It's pretty funny how many people will overlook that post. Good stuff.

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mikecsy 13 years ago

Phil
Thanks for the comment!
Mike
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kyubei

13 years ago

I agree completely, it's not just reading and absorbing, which is good, but actually implementing and getting the experience is when big change comes.

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allencole

13 years ago

No matter how many self help books you read, yet you do not practice what they preach, it is a waste of your hard earned resources.

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AmazingP

13 years ago

Originally Posted by mikecsy

What if I told you that all self-help products and biz plans are preying on you and they want you to stay just where you are. You would probably tell me I'm crazy but, am I? Now I'm not saying that these products are junk, quite the opposite, most have very good information and can be helpful but they are not the end all and be all. These books, mp3's and videos become like a drug and they can be just as debilitating as crack. You see we are a society of quick fixes and these two industries know that all too well. I have found that many clients do not use these tools to their fullest potential.
Allow me to illustrate, let's say you have just purchased a '69 camaro, the car was a great deal but needs a ton of work. Thing is you have always wanted an old camaro, problem being your experience working on a car ends at putting gas in it. So, you get every book you can find on the subject and proceed to soak up all the knowledge you can. Fast-forward 6 months you have now read every book on the '69 camaro including the complete repair manual, but you have yet to lift a wrench. You are no more of a classic car restoration specialist today than you were 6 months ago, the problem is you have created activity but no action has been taken.
There's a huge difference between activity and action. Activity keeps your goal at arms length where as action moves you closer to your objective. So stop and look at your mission and ask yourself "Am I any closer to my goal than I was 6 months ago" and if the answer is "no". I would venture to guess that you are substituting activity for action.

To Your Success,
Mike

I agree. The self-help industry is now so big.

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mikecsy 13 years ago

There are many good ideas available, but you must pick what works for you then get going.
To Your Success,
Mike
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- The Great Gordino 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by mikecsy
  
  There are many good ideas available, but you must pick what works for you then get going.
  
  This is a valid point relevant to the original post.
  
  Finding what works for you can lead to getting into the rut of reading rather than doing, because you end up reading 'just one more' to find a good fit for you. When you find what does 'push your buttons' though, you must latch on and take action.
  
  There aren't really new ideas, just different ways of saying them. Many forum members here have written in their own styles, I have too, so keep going til you find that one that fits ytour style!
  
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lingo

13 years ago

Im defo a victim of this.

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sweetria

13 years ago

i am too addicted to self help....

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Coach Louisa

13 years ago

I am not sure if I will use the word "addictive" but continuous personal development is certain in for me.

Louisa

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mikecsy 13 years ago

Hey Coach,
If I'm not mistaken you and I have an obligation to our clients to read all we can, so we can serve them in the best possible way. Thanks for contributing.
To your success,
Mike
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happyme

13 years ago

Is that a question, or a cheap advertisement. I am addicted to helping myself with my own problems. I don't bother others.

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DTConsult

13 years ago

Yeah, we really need as much positive input as we can get since there is so much negative in life.
"Aim for success not perfection... Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person."
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Contact me if you are interested in a free ebook on staying motivated.

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buildawebsite

13 years ago

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have been spinning my wheels so to speak for many years. I finally took some action and I have been getting results. It is so encouraging to finally get closer to my ultimate goal. It's a great feeling.

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mokondo

13 years ago

I believe self help products are part of of the learning necessities as long as you implement them. But I prefer the free ones :-)

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Expert212

13 years ago

I agree 100% to this post, most of us are addicted to self help, there's a lot of difference between just cooking rough ideas and action on those ideas!!!

For me Action is the most important part towards success, once you have passed the planning phase.

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mikecsy 13 years ago

We all have great ideas, it is focus and action or should I say the lack of the aforementioned that allows them to die on the vine.

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Mike
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Alimar

13 years ago

I would not say that I am addicted to self-help books. I do read and listen to many, and they have helped me. That said, I am not where I would like to be.

As for saying the creators of these programmes prey on people - I do not agree. There is a need for these programmes and they are just fulfilling that need.

In my opinion the problem is people find it hard to get out of their comfort zones and therefore do not take the action to benefit fully from these progammes.

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watty12 13 years ago

I agree totally. It's having the desire to want to do something for yourself. Some people do just take the books and meetings and do nothing with it - that's their choice.

Sometimes you need motivation to get you out of bed and get through the day, particularly if you have a job you don't enjoy, for example. So for some, reading positive books really does help keep them focused on what they really want out of life.

I've been reading positive books for years, and it has definitely given me a more positive outlook on life, without a doube. I'm not always 100% positive, but it definitely does help.
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BBryanB

13 years ago

Knowledge is Power, without Power, you are not going to acheive any where near your potential.

On the other hand, people who spend their time just learning and accumulating knowledge, and never implement it, put it into action, are no better off then the person who has not better themselves.

Bryan

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Are you addicted to self-help?!

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