3 Steps Towards Becoming More Assertive

I was a very shy person growing up and this lead to a lot of disappointment and unhappiness. I've since overcome it and am now on my way to getting everything I want from life. I thought I could share some of my experience with my fellow warriors in the hopes that I can help someone out. So, without further ado, here is a short article I wrote for you guys on:

3 Steps Towards Becoming More Assertive

It seems to come so easy to some people. They have the ability to get what they want out of life and no one tries to stop them. They have no trouble gaining friends, starting new relationships and finding success in their careers. There is one key element that all of the most successful people in history have in common. They know how to assert themselves.


Assertiveness doesn’t mean dominating other people or taking advantage of them. It simply refers to the ability to not accept anything less than what you want and deserve.

Many people suffer from a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities. This leads to them missing out on opportunities, losing promotions to other people and always coming in last in life. Becoming more assertive doesn’t require anything drastic, just a small shift in perspective and a few simple tips.


Step One: Believe in yourself

Believing in yourself is the most important step towards becoming a more assertive person. A wise salesman once said that you can never hope to sell something that you don’t believe in because customers will see right through you. The same is true in life, no one will believe that you deserve more unless you believe it as well.

You need to develop confidence in your abilities and understand that you are a valuable person who deserves to receive everything they want out of life.


Step Two: Speak confidently

The confidence that you have in yourself will shine through when you speak with other people. It’s important to remember that you should always make strong declarative statements when you’re trying to get something you want. Take a look at these two examples:

“Ummm, I don’t think this is really what I wanted…”

“This is not what I wanted.”

While both sentences may seem to say the same thing, the difference is quite obvious. The first sentence leaves plenty of room for the other person to get away with not giving you what you had asked for.

The second sentence, on the other hand, firmly states your displeasure, lets the other person know that you won’t accept it and suggests that they need to fix it and bring you exactly what you had wanted. This is the key to being assertive when speaking with other people.


Step Three: Body Language

A person’s body language will often tell you more about them then their words could ever hope to. Certain people, such as salesmen, will even be trained on how to read a person’s body language and respond accordingly. When trying to get something that you want it’s important to dress well, stand or sit up straight and make eye contact.

Some people will also fidget with things when they get nervous and this can be a dead giveaway that they aren’t confident in themselves. Carrying yourself well can go a long way in communicating your confidence to other people.



Suffering from a lack of assertiveness isn’t rare but it can lead to a lot of misery and disappointment. While some people will feel that they can’t change themselves, it’s important to remember that there are a few simple things that anyone can do to become a more confident and assertive individual.

Believing in yourself is the most important step because other people will see you the same way you see yourself. Ensuring that you always make strong, confident statements when you speak will help you get what you want from other people with out leaving them room to argue. Paying close attention to your body language will also go a long way in helping you attain the success you deserve.

Making a few simple changes in the way you interact with other people will help you become more assertive and will allow you to achieve anything you may want in life.