Truth time: Are you hurt by negative comments about you?

11 years ago

it hurts, but I'm understand that basically I can't make all people happy at the same time. For me it's like just to do what I should do, I don't really care about the bad impact, because I'm more interested to the positive impact, that's why i don't really care to the bad impact.

While at the same time, still I will learn from what people have told me negatively (critics, complaints, etc).

It's not easy to do, keep improving the 'positive feelings' rate in my heart, hahaha.

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Doug Hewitt 11 years ago

I haven't had any negative comments written about me but I know that in real life it really hurts and pisses me off when I hear negative comments about me. I know intellectually that my feelings are my own responsibility but that doesn't always take away the hurt.

I heard a video not long ago of someone saying that if people get pissed off at you that you must be doing something right. He went on to say that all the most successful people have people who hate them as well as people who love them. Bill Gates would be an example of this.
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Joseph Robinson

Banned 11 years ago

It definitely gets to me when I see a negative comment about myself. Even though I'm one of those people who put up the aura of "I don't care what people think about me" I really do. Getting over it just takes time for me. A couple of minutes or an hour later and I forget about it completely.

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ladywriter

11 years ago

People's opinions of you are their *opinion*. Someone else's opinion of me is a commentary on them, not me. And you know what they say about opinions. Most people like me so I rarely have that problem.

When I do, I might briefly question whether the negative remark is based anywhere in reality, but I only *care* what those close to me say.

Revenge/hating back would only hurt me and I don't have time for that.

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jcruz

11 years ago

I wanted to give you a generic answer and say don't let it phase you, or just ignore the person or something. But the honest answer is its hard not to react. I have had moments where i have heard of people talking negatively of me and i would just hate the person for it. They Smile in your face and talk behind your back.

But what i have learned throught the years, dealing with nothing but negative people all around me, is tha no one controls your emotions. YOU DON'T HAVE TO REACT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET MAD, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. And having that choice is power. And what matters is what you focus on and what things mean to you. Screw them i only have so many days and minutes on this earth. I don't even want to waste a breath on them.
Basically i get frustrated like any one else, but i just suck it up and laugh it off. LAUGH AND THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU. Cry and you cry alone. HA HA suckers

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sscot

11 years ago

I wait and start thinking honestly (according to the depth of my awareness) ..... why this hurtful comment against me?

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mervyngoh

11 years ago

Of course it will hurt and we will have negative thoughts, but a successful person is one that can shift th negative thought out of the mind at rapid speed.

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Fernando Veloso

11 years ago

It depends on how deep these comments are.

For instance, there is this moron sending threads and cursing in my blog comments. I am so sick of it I just forwarded the data and his IP to my lawyer and he's presenting legal charges against this dumbquak. Most probably the guy will just get a letter and a visit from Police, but I hope he learns his lesson.

In the end I try to be practical and proactive about it. If people just want to be dickheads, I really can be one annoying prick. If they have a legit ground to be pissed off, I just try to do my best to do better and avoid similar mistakes.

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ccora

11 years ago

One of the most valuable techniques on how to manage this sort of thing was covered in a workshop I attended many years ago. They said that we should first think about who the negative comment is coming from. Then ask ourselves if that person is really important to our careers, life or goals. Usually the answer is no. Then in that case, we can more easily justify why we should not waste much time or energy worrying about that particular negative comment.

On the other hand, if it's from let's say a boss and would impact our careers, then the negative comment should be viewed as a growth opportunity to improve.

I much like this technique as it worked very well over the years. Just helps put things into perspective.

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claudenat

11 years ago

Sometimes I feel very bad whenever I get to hear negative comments about me. Yet, I make sure not to over react on these comments rather I try to understand why others are saying those things to me.

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Vortex Creator

11 years ago

Yea, it is a kick in the gut and I do feel it - but that's just my guidance system telling me that what I'm thinking is not true...so I get of that thought and focus back on my desire...it's really all about: How much suffering can you take?

And I also like that perspective that if people complain about you you MUST be doing something right. Just google any successful person and you will find a suggested search with "scam" in the end... We are BORN to bitch and complain about anything that might cause us to CHANGE. That's the animal in us. Trying to be secure in it's small, little world. So any visionary will always get harassed by those who don't agree/don't see the vision. I LOVE getting kicked by a leader/teacher/mentor while I don't really enjoy the same from someone without that level of integrity & love. The difference between someone who has been where you were and someone who wishes he were where you are.

It can define you in a good way but you should always stand above it and define yourself.

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BloggingPro

11 years ago

I think I would be scared if it didn't hurt me. Living a life without feelings would be absolutely terrifying (if not boring). I think it just comes down to learning how to sort through the negativity to find true criticism.

Never keep it buried inside. You need to find a way to let that hurt out, or else it will turn to anger. Not to get all Yoda on you guys, but its true. If you let something simmer inside you for long enough eventually you'll pop--and then who knows what will happen.

Of course there is always that asshole that is easy to ignore, and you can spot them a mile away. I think we call these trolls in virtual space lol.

Regardless, we only spend 75-80 years on this earth if we are lucky. Seems like a long time, but its not. I have better things to do than be miserable over what someone else thinks about me.

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cyberdenizen

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Scott Ames

When you read negative hurtful comments about you, does it hurt? How do you overcome it. Do you wish for revenge? Do you sulk? Do you hate back? Do you get depressed?

Yes, I do get hurt when I read negative comments about me or my work sometimes, but I always appreciate the honesty and I try to learn from them. Perhaps, there are things that I need to improve on. Maybe I was wrong and there is something that I need to change. I don't become bitter when I read negative comments; I become better.

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doingwrite

11 years ago

I get hurt too. I think it is only human. But I try to remember that old saying by Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

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rickdoggett

11 years ago

As a human, I do. But I can do nothing about it, it is their opinion. For as long as I am not doing anything against them and have done no wrong, it won't bother me much.

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mathayus

11 years ago

the truth is, I don't have a problem with negative comments, I know it hurts but if we look in different ways, take it as a chance for us to change ourself, because sometimes we can't decide about our bad habit, only other people can decide, so for me negative comments is a plus for me

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Jaymark

11 years ago

Yes it hurts. I try to keep in mind that in some cases the comments are coming from well meaning people who are trying to keep me from making mistakes. But in other cases, the negativity comes from people who don't want you to be successful because they are not successful.

As Tony Robbins and other motivational speakers stress, you need to surround yourself with positive and enthusiastic people who believe that anything is possible. Otherwise you will tend to sink to the same level of limiting beliefs and negativity as those around you.

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Jonathan 2.0

11 years ago

Sometimes. Often I see them for what they really are though.

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DancingHamster

11 years ago

I think about, either this person is a confused 13 year old, someone going through a tough time, or someone that has received this treatment before

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PPC-Coach

11 years ago

You haven't made it until you've got people hating on you.

Look at it as a positive thing, at least you've affected them enough to have an opinion about you.

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MIRENGE

11 years ago

It really hurt to read negative comments about yourself but i believe that i may not be in a position to please everyone. I also like thinking about the comment and see if it can change my life positively because sometimes its the truth and the truth always hurts.

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Gilearn

11 years ago

yes i will get hurt and even to some extend believe it but i will make sure to find a way of overcoming it...

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ADifferentNinja

11 years ago

Of course it hurts, and anybody who says otherwise is a liar.

I don't let it affect me for long, though. Once I have taken it in, I just remember that the opinion is coming from a nobody and doesn't hold any substance in the world. I then switch it around and take it as a compliment because they're making the effort to form an opinion of me.

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Truth time: Are you hurt by negative comments about you?

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