Fear of Failure

Hi,

I'm glad to have seen this question as this is essentially what I do!

In all honesty, it will take a little more than a couple of forum answers to make a permanent shift in your mindset but I hope the following will point you in the right direction. It could be really long so I'm doing in note form, feel free to pm me for more info.



Yes, you can go by all the (often v helpful) catchphrases of 'there is no failure only feedback' etc etc. but that still doesn't get your arse into gear....you smile and nod and then go and put the kettle on!



If I sound harsh at times forgive me, but you bought the course in October, lets get you cracking on it!!



I ask a lot of questions....think about them, it will help....write down the answers, it will help a million times more



[written after the post – it is long. It is stuff I explore in much more detail with people I work with, but if you focus on answering the questions, I promise it will help]



Firstly, I would ask why it would be so bad to encounter disappointments and failure? What will happen if you do? How would it adversely affect your life? What will happen to your stomach?!


Many people will say look on the bright side. I say, look for the worst possible outcome.....you F up severely....so what? If that absolute worst happened, how would you deal with it? (you would, even it it was tough) Really think through thje worst possible outcomes and how you would handle them. Where would they lead you?


Consider if you really are fearful of failure......or success?


Many people are frightened of what would happen if they did actually make that $1m, bought that Ferrari, moved job, told their boss/wife/husband to stick it it or whatever.


Separate fear of failure from fear of what the future may bring.


Now take a step back. You bought an internet marketing course because you were in a certain state....most good sales letters put us in a state where we are ready to take action (buy)...... to get into that that state again what can you do? What was it about the course that made you think, 'I'm buying this?'

Grab a pen and paper and write down your reasons for buying. Writing down is much more powerful than thinking. Be honest, no one has to see this. If you were sucked in by a great sales letter, say so, (and keep the letter for your swipe file!), if you wanted riches, fame, freedom, write it down. If you just wanted to learn new skills skills or pay off a loan, say so.


Note to yourself what you wanted to get out of the course. Take this as deep as possible e.g. if you want to make X amount of money, why? How will this make you feel, what will it allow you to do? If you want to pay off a debt, how will you feel when that is done? If you want to provide more for your family, what and why?


Become an irritating 3 year old and ask why for everything...get it down to the feelings you want to experience. And if this is tough, try harder or pm me, you always do something for the feeling not the benefit.


In a nutshell, what we do is driven by pain vs pleasure – answering the following will help overcome procrastination: (tried to relate it to your specific problem with the IM course but adapt answers as you see fit)


What are you gaining by NOT taking action? More time, no failure, looking at other cool internet stuff, staying in comfort zone, doing ok in current job, other people see me as reliable, steady, no risk, no disappointment, etc


How are you suffering by NOT taking action? Feel like a failure (ironic hey?), feelings of regret, letting myself down, no financial advancement, loss of self confidence and self esteem, no financial gains, no opportunity to help others, etc.


Pain of implementation: I may mess up, look silly, let someone/myself down, may experience disappointment, may flop, may give up.


What will you gain by implementing things? Financial gains, learning new things, meeting others for JVs, feeling of accomplishment, increased self esteem, helping others etc


{please note – by pain I mean anything not pleasurable, not necessarily physical pain – loss of time can be pain, feeling out of your depth, doing something new and so on}


What gets you really motivated to take action? (forget about the IM stuff, just generally in life) How can you recreate that state in day to day life?


It is impossible to get everything into one email.


If someone has this (extremely common fear) it can take up to 6 months to coach them through it. But if you genuinely want to make a change and can answer the above questions honestly, and you can do it.


Make it your mission to make mistakes, make it your mission to teach others from your screw ups....then when you fail you have achieved. (come on, I had to get one hackneyed expression in there)


Best wishes,


Kate

Develop a fear of having fear. As you can see fear paralyzes you, so begin to fear being fearful.

Absolutely right. Action eliminates fear.

You guaruntee failure if you giving up. Be patient with yourself. We all have fears. I handle my fears by visioning what I want instead of what I don't want. I once heard a quote that states, "I fail my way to success." Learn from the failure in your life. I believe you're on the right track. You keep going! Best regards

Or in other words, "Failure means delay, not defeat". :-)

Sorry for spamming your thread here, but ignore whoever said this. I myself have been through some verbal abuse. What you have to realise is that the people who say this are ignorant, and the BEST thing you can do is work on yourself/for yourself, and show yourself that you're not. Let's be honest, you're on a website surrounded by people who are making thousands, if not millions doing the thing you want to do. Just being here shows your open-mindedness, and desire.

You've taken the first step to becoming something more than your old self.

Bottom line is this: You'll always have haters, people who are angry with their own failures and are jealous of your success.

Ignore them, and get on with your own life.

Again, sorry attacking your thread :p

Mannequin

Here's something I read the other day which really summed it up perfectly for me:

Michael Jordan: Most people wouldn't believe that a man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn't let this setback stop him from playing the game and he has stated, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."




Very, very inspiring but for me, it gets the point across absolutely perfectly.

James

Someone said it so well here, "fear of failure is fear of success."

For over ten years I kept myself away from doing what I really enjoyed and that is IM because of fear.

My hang up boiled down to the fear of success. You already see yourself in a dim light but look closer, you are a success waiting to happen

That is what you that need to nurture. My advise is to find someone you can really learn from the basics, sort of speak. From there find what is really you.

Admitting your fear is half the battle to success. Soon you will discover your driving passion that will get you past any fear that may come your way. Then you will be dynamic to others who will be seeking your advise.

I am not posting this because I have some how arrived but, as a newbie, I have made the decision to succeed despite the many failures I have already faced.

To your success!

Learn to embrace failure, it's a neccessary step on the way to success. Pretty much no one succeeds without failing.

All you need is a mentor to lead you week by week through an internet course, I know you downloaded a course last year, but you were then on your own, you need some one to support you after you do the weekly tasks, and also answer your questions, so that you can progress one step at a time. you may know the material back to front but you still need leading through these steps, most mentor courses have their own forums where you will find people just like you, maybe you can help them to progress. Im sure that will make you feel more able to succeed.