How do you handle a crisis?

Hi there
I can totally understand why this would worry you. It's quite natural, when we hear of something bad happening, to put ourselves into that situation and share in the feelings of the other person. It's called empathy.

But right now, as much as you might empathise with your friend, you're not in their situation so you don't need to be even worrying about sinking into a deep depression or having a panic attack.

Instead, if this is a genuinely something you should be guarding against, why not use this bad news from your friend as motivation to improve your own financial situation?

Personally, I believe that we get given the strength to deal with the tough stuff when it happens but what we don't get is the strength to cope with the worry of IF the tough stuff might happen. Waste energy worrying about stuff and it can feel like you're on your own!

For example, a year or so ago I'd gone for a routine test (I'll spare you the details. Let's just say it was a pre-cancer test for women.) There was nothing to suggest that the test results should be anything other than normal but as I waited day after day for the letter I got in a right panic. By the time the results came back all normal I'd planned my own funeral!

I gained nothing from all that worry and, because I was worrying about something that hadn't even happened yet, I got none of the strength, reassurance and support I might get should I find myself in that situation of having cancer.

The same is true for you right now. By worrying about something that has even happened yet you're getting all of the stress and paralysis of a tough situation with none of the strength.

As far as it's possible for you, I'd really encourage you to let go of the 'what if this happens to me' and instead focus on putting steps in place to get yourself in a position such that, should this happen to you, you'll be in a better position than your friend to deal with it.

How does that sound?

El

Thank you El for the inspiration. The what would I do if situation is easy to understand, especially if things like what you have described have happened to you in the past. From the experience of being in that situation and knowing first hand the anxiety that comes with it, there is no surprise that you immediately put yourself in that situation, or remember that feeling when you were faced with the same set of issues. Your point is well taken to learn and rise above the situation, but while you are going through that panic anxiety, it is very easy to get caught up in the whirlwind.