Do You Allow People To ride your coat tails?

15 replies
Do you allow people to ride your coat tails. If so, what do you require of them.

I have some and sometimes it's hard for me to tell if their freeloaders or users. Any tips?
#coat #people #ride #tails
  • Profile picture of the author theory expert
    Banned
    It depends really...the thing with success is you have capabilities that your entourage don't. Maybe they can be assistants. Cut the yard, pick up the kids from school, chauffeur you around. Use them for what they good at and they use you for your leadership, financial ability. It is a trade off.

    Of course, this gets complicated if you're stinking rich/famous. Pick up a couple of books on how to deal with sudden wealth. Hopefully, that will atleast subside some concerns. Though, I am by no means an expert as I have the same concerns as you.

    It is a slippery slope.
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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Benjamin
      Originally Posted by The Niche Man View Post

      Do you allow people to ride your coat tails. If so, what do you require of them.

      I have some and sometimes it's hard for me to tell if their freeloaders or users. Any tips?
      Look at it this way...

      were you yourself a freeloader or *user* as you call it
      at one time to get to where YOU are at now? Or...

      are you telling me you got to where you are on blood,
      sweat, and tears alone?

      The reality is...no one succeeds on his own.

      It takes MANY people to make one persons success a
      reality. Or, think about it this way:

      You NEED people to have success in the first place. It
      may not have been THOSE specific people, but who is
      paying your bills?

      Other people.

      The truth is EVERYONES a freeloader.

      ...you have to be.

      So, It's best not to treat people as such because you
      are yourself one.

      By the way, when I say *you*, I'm not talking about
      you specifically, but this goes out to entrepreneurs w/
      the *inferiority complex*.

      Personally, I don't mind if people ride on my coattails,
      but I DO have MY limits.

      My limits are different from yours.

      I don't think it's healthy to let people walk all over you
      as if you OWE them something. You don't.

      How FAR someone rides on my coat tail and what I
      would want in return depends on each person.

      If they're asking for PERSONAL one-on-one time (like
      most family and friends tend to do), MOST of the time
      I say *no*.

      Not because I don't want to help, but only because I
      KNOW those people enough to logically conclude they
      are not as committed as they want to BELIEVE they
      are.

      In a way, I do most of them a favor. Because, so many
      see the money and the dream, but when i get down to
      explaining the PROCESS to do it - they back out - wast
      -ing my time.

      Of course, not ALL are like that. But GENERALLY most
      people ARE. I like to test people to see what they will
      and will not do BEFORE I give them my attention.

      I have to. Or, I'd go insane.

      The test can be something as simple as getting some-
      thing done in time (discipline), or reading a certain book,
      or taking a specific action...

      this is how I pre-qualify people - and if they really want
      something from me, they'll have to work for it.

      Some people don't want to be bothered doing this at
      all and will send people off to read a book and be done
      with it, some people are more hands on then I am...

      it's really up to you how you handle it.







      Originally Posted by Team X View Post

      It depends really...the thing with success is you have capabilities that your entourage don't. Maybe they can be assistants. Cut the yard, pick up the kids from school, chauffeur you around. Use them for what they good at and they use you for your leadership, financial ability. It is a trade off.

      Of course, this gets complicated if you're stinking rich/famous. Pick up a couple of books on how to deal with sudden wealth. Hopefully, that will atleast subside some concerns. Though, I am by no means an expert as I have the same concerns as you.

      It is a slippery slope.
      Yep. This is pretty spot on to me.

      I went to Quora.Com and looked up "How to handle wealth
      or money" and read some really interesting lessons from
      people who were or are wealthy and how they handle it, &
      relating it to my own experience it all comes down to how
      gullible you are, or how stern you can be.

      If you're TOO stern with people and their ideas, you can not
      only put them off, but other people - if you're too gullible,
      you're business will suffer because you put too much time
      into other peoples projects.

      It's a strange balance, and what I discovered is that you
      don't even have to be RICH for people to want something
      from you as an entrepreneur.

      Hell, you could even be BROKE and people will ask you for a
      job (seriously), ask you to teach them what you do, or ask
      to hold a business meeting.

      When you make a little money and it has nothing to do with
      a 9 to 5, most people, despite popular opinion, WANT to do
      what you do - so even if you're making LESS than they are...

      the fact that you get to sit in a Lazy chair and make money
      with a few emails and phone calls is a better DEAL than sit
      -ting in a cubic dealing with a cranky butthole.

      I can only imagine what it will be like when you get rich...

      ...more pressure to give of yoru time and money even if they
      haven't earned it themselves (and are unwilling to do so)...

      but I'll deal with it as it comes and trust that I'll make the
      right choices so I don't alienate those I love and do business
      with.
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      • Profile picture of the author The Niche Man
        Originally Posted by WhoIsBenjamin View Post

        Look at it this way...

        were you yourself a freeloader or *user* as you call it
        at one time to get to where YOU are at now? Or...

        are you telling me you got to where you are on blood,
        sweat, and tears alone?

        The reality is...no one succeeds on his own.

        It takes MANY people to make one persons success a
        reality. Or, think about it this way:

        You NEED people to have success in the first place. It
        may not have been THOSE specific people, but who is
        paying your bills?

        Other people.

        The truth is EVERYONES a freeloader.

        ...you have to be.

        So, It's best not to treat people as such because you
        are yourself one.

        By the way, when I say *you*, I'm not talking about
        you specifically, but this goes out to entrepreneurs w/
        the *inferiority complex*.

        Personally, I don't mind if people ride on my coattails,
        but I DO have MY limits.

        My limits are different from yours.

        I don't think it's healthy to let people walk all over you
        as if you OWE them something. You don't.

        How FAR someone rides on my coat tail and what I
        would want in return depends on each person.

        If they're asking for PERSONAL one-on-one time (like
        most family and friends tend to do), MOST of the time
        I say *no*.

        Not because I don't want to help, but only because I
        KNOW those people enough to logically conclude they
        are not as committed as they want to BELIEVE they
        are.

        In a way, I do most of them a favor. Because, so many
        see the money and the dream, but when i get down to
        explaining the PROCESS to do it - they back out - wast
        -ing my time.

        Of course, not ALL are like that. But GENERALLY most
        people ARE. I like to test people to see what they will
        and will not do BEFORE I give them my attention.

        I have to. Or, I'd go insane.

        The test can be something as simple as getting some-
        thing done in time (discipline), or reading a certain book,
        or taking a specific action...

        this is how I pre-qualify people - and if they really want
        something from me, they'll have to work for it.

        Some people don't want to be bothered doing this at
        all and will send people off to read a book and be done
        with it, some people are more hands on then I am...

        it's really up to you how you handle it.









        Yep. This is pretty spot on to me.

        I went to Quora.Com and looked up "How to handle wealth
        or money" and read some really interesting lessons from
        people who were or are wealthy and how they handle it, &
        relating it to my own experience it all comes down to how
        gullible you are, or how stern you can be.

        If you're TOO stern with people and their ideas, you can not
        only put them off, but other people - if you're too gullible,
        you're business will suffer because you put too much time
        into other peoples projects.

        It's a strange balance, and what I discovered is that you
        don't even have to be RICH for people to want something
        from you as an entrepreneur.

        Hell, you could even be BROKE and people will ask you for a
        job (seriously), ask you to teach them what you do, or ask
        to hold a business meeting.

        When you make a little money and it has nothing to do with
        a 9 to 5, most people, despite popular opinion, WANT to do
        what you do - so even if you're making LESS than they are...

        the fact that you get to sit in a Lazy chair and make money
        with a few emails and phone calls is a better DEAL than sit
        -ting in a cubic dealing with a cranky butthole.

        I can only imagine what it will be like when you get rich...

        ...more pressure to give of yoru time and money even if they
        haven't earned it themselves (and are unwilling to do so)...

        but I'll deal with it as it comes and trust that I'll make the
        right choices so I don't alienate those I love and do business
        with.
        Good points, I've rode a few coat tails myself, but I always made it a point to give something back, whether it's money, referrals, testimonies or thanks.
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  • Profile picture of the author doingwrite
    As a person who is learning alot from all of you, in a sense I am riding your coattails. Yet for some reason you are unofficially trusting me not to be a freeloader. I think the issue is whether someone has a clear goal to learn and then give back, or just to take. We all make mistakes, that's for sure. But if we have our eyes open we won't get burned... or at least not too badly.

    I'm learning from one particular warrior right now and you had better believe I will give her back twofold when I can!
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    I believe that we should all give what we can. We all get a lot from this forum and others and it should never be a one way street.

    I will give you a real life example.I live in a granny flat. ONly been here 3 months and the landlady has been making me dinner at least 2-3- nights a week.
    I feel guilty because she is also doing a lot of other really kind things.
    Then last week I discovered she has a lot of crap on her computer and really doesn't even know how to use it properly.
    So I told her I would clean it all up, install extra stuff she needs, delete stuff she doesn't and make it easier for her to find the programs she uses regularly.

    It has taken me quite a few hours to do but I am happy to be able to give something back. However, now she feels guilty for taking up so much of my time that she is going to shout me to the movies. I said it isn't necessary but she wants to...

    The same applies online. If you can give back, I believe you should.
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    • Profile picture of the author GeorgeJafen
      Yes, great things happen to those that give back.
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  • Profile picture of the author Newview
    It would seem that if you are in a position to give back in some way, that would be a positive thing to do. Everyone is different, and have different needs, and can reach different levels of achievement. This is so important to understand. As to one person, someone else may not seem to want to change things or aspire to be anything other than they are right now. When in reality, this may be the highest level they can attain. The thing to be on the lookout for is for someone that has the ability to do/learn/give more, but chooses not to, and prefers to let others do the work for them. When someone gets ahead because of someone else's work, that is the time for the yellow flag to go up, their intentions at that point are crystal clear.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jane Lee
    We have all been apprentices at one time in our lives. We learn a trade whether from our family or someone teaches and shows us how. Then, we come up with our own unique flair and style. It's no fun making it to the top (Riches, Cars and material stuff) all by yourself. Who are you going to share the wealth with? Better to leave a legacy behind for the generations to come. They all need someone to show them how to fish. The gift of giving and volunteering is the greatest gift of all. Yes, there will be tire kickers, free-loaders, and copy cats, but there is only one original and that is YOU! No one can replicate that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Creativegirl
    If you're adopting, they're not riding your coat tails.
    If you're consumed, distracted or paying their way, they're not riding your coat tails.

    I think you know in your gut who the freeloaders are, especially when actions don't line up with words and you start to lose peace about it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    People can ride my coattails all they want. That's called having a following. It means when I say something, people pay attention. It means when I create new products, people buy them.

    I have very broad coattails. Climb on and take a ride.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lori Kelly
    Absolutely.

    After advocating for homeowners facing foreclosure for the past couple of years, knowing more than I care to know about the imminent demise of the middle class, I feel a strong urgency to help others make money.

    They can ride my coat tails and I will encourage them and teach them everything I learn. And if only one person is able to pay the bills because of something they learned from me, that reward is more precious than money.
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    • Profile picture of the author abundantlife
      One thing we learn as we spend time in the forum conversation is that we must participate. It's okay to say "great post" or "thanks for the share", some of the time. But if we are getting anything from looking over others shoulders there should come a time when we are prepared to give back.

      No matter what the subject, most people have differing points of view and by sharing that POV it helps someone else see it from that different angle. When we listen to a great comedian like Bill Cosby or Richard Pryor we are amused by the different angle they see some everyday happening. The same happens here.

      So hopefully we all ride coattails and also offer ours for others to ride on. Thus our special community expands, perhaps even exponentially.
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  • Sometimes, it's easy to have the 'pay forward' where the business benefit is not obvious immediately. Other times, it's called marketing where you raise your profile and promote your services among potential customers/clients.

    Learning and opportunities can come from collaboration. As I remind clients in training and coaching sessions, it's not everyone in the same line of business as you that is your Competitor. In business the C can mean Collaborator also, and it's the latter that can lead to huge benefits for both. So, it's not always about riding the tailcoat.

    Agree, however, that there are those who are only looking for 'free'. They will take all they can without ever thinking of reciprocating even by way of a testimonial, although they will take for free as long as they are allowed.

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  • Profile picture of the author whimsicalone2008
    What about someone who is on a basketball team and they never suit up or have played. The only reason he did not want to transfer schools is because if the team went to state he would not get a ring.
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    • Profile picture of the author The Niche Man
      Originally Posted by whimsicalone2008 View Post

      What about someone who is on a basketball team and they never suit up or have played. The only reason he did not want to transfer schools is because if the team went to state he would not get a ring.
      That's odd that the players and coaches would stand for that. He would have to at least pick up towels in the locker room, get the players water or collect the balls after practice.
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