When close friends hurt you

14 years ago

Only when I was very young. Now I cannot be hurt or offended by anyone because although I cannot control what others do, I can and do control what meaning I give to what they do and how I feel about what they do.

As for people and even friends, dear friends, doing very unfriendly things to me, yes, that has happened. I was amazed and bewildered for a bit but not hurt.

I believe we all only affect ourselves by our own thoughts and mostly feelings.

And that we get what we put out. So, these people only hurt themselves by doing unto others as they would not want done to them.

I, on the other hand, will only be harmed if I decide to harm myself by lowering my vibration to feel hurt or some other unwanted emotion.

But that was 10 years ago. I haven't had any such thing happen the more I work on myself and improving my own vibration.

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slingingshot15

14 years ago

Great advice man....thanks for sharing....

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Illuminart

14 years ago

They can't be friends if they hurt you so much. Maybe one, maybe twice but not for the nth time. They are obviously FAKES and only trying to get a fool out of you if they continue to hurt you just like that.

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CanadaSEO

14 years ago

There's a fine line between a CLOSE FRIEND and a TRUE FRIEND.

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Dan Freeman Banned 14 years ago

Do not mind if I ask, who this this specific person who caused you grief?
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- slingingshot15 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by CameronNY
  
  Do not mind if I ask, who this this specific person who caused you grief?
  
  to be honest no one has caused me grief but a friend of mine was sharing with me how some people close to her had sort of turned against her and it was hard to deal with....
  
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  I help young adults who are struggling physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially and relationally to take steps today to see results in a matter of weeks without having to go through the pain of buying thousands of books, courses and counseling sessions.
  
  http://www.brianramdhan.com
  
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3000

14 years ago

I have this boss who I still work with till this day and I was basically back stabbed by him.

When I first came onto his team he was all buddy buddy with me telling jokes and what not. He would say stuff about the boss above him and I will jokingly say stuff about the big boss as well.

Well to cut it short he was telling everything I said to the big and now the big boss and I aren't as close as we should be.

Now I pick who I open up more closely then before. As for him I just use him as motivation to keep working on my IM business so that one day I can quit that job

Originally Posted by slingingshot15

Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

Maybe they said something about you.

How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!

Thanks
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Micah Medina 14 years ago

In life, I've found the the more you try to shield yourself off from painful situations and interactions, the worse things get. I've been hurt by a handful of people I thought were close to me -- usually more out of thoughtlessness than meanness. In situations like that you have to keep your chin up and keep the lines of communication open.

Walking with your chin held high requires much more courage than curling into an emotional ball. And it's more rewarding.
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paulmthw2

Banned 14 years ago

[DELETED]

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barbling

14 years ago

Originally Posted by paulmthw2

I believe no one can hurt us if don't allow them to.So we should be open to all responses and situations without the fear of getting hurt.It's hard and I'm still implementing it.
Tc

Been there/done that/crashed and burned and then arose like a Phoenix.

Everything happens for a reason....and every pain and scar and knife-wound across your soul eventually heals and delivers to you strength you never would have discovered if you hadn't had gone thru the pain.

I recently had my teeth kicked in bigtime by the one person I never ever ever in a million years thought would hurt me.

It devastated me.

Crushed me.

Really really really ...well, actually, words don't exist that describe quite how much it killed me.

I had two choices - give into the destruction (which would have been really stupid, because the person showed there was zero caring), or take that energy and rebuild/reinvent myself.

I chose the second (and made money from it too!). Blogged about it at

How To Brilliantly Turn Failure Into Money for 2012 – Pillar | Barbara Ling, Your Maverick Virtual Coach

Everything is a hero's journey...what do you choose to do with it is how your life becomes defined.

Hope that helps!

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Rohm

14 years ago

Originally Posted by slingingshot15

Ok today I want to ask a serious question.

Have you ever been hurt by people whom you least expected to be hurt from?

Maybe they said something about you.

How do you suggest someone deal with a situation like this?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!

Be assertive, not aggressive.

Assertiveness focus on the person's specifc behavior/action, not on the person character.

Example: Assertive: When you say: "Don't be a retard," you are verbally cynical, and these comments demean me and my ideas. A better way is to ask: Is there a better way to do this? Please change how you respond to my comments.

Assertiveness maintains the dignity of both people.

Aggressive: You're a obnoxious jerk (attacking character, demeaning also the other person in the same way the other person was demeaned).

Also, be ready to forgive is the person is willing to change.

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laurencewins

14 years ago

Small "hurts" should be ignored where possible.
I had a major problem with an ex-friend when I moved into his house when he moved interstate. He eventually took me to court but I won. That was a major case of friendship being pushed past the normal boundaries.
Sometimes friends hurt accidentally and you should address it so that it can be corrected.

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apolwar

14 years ago

I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.

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Shilpa

14 years ago

Originally Posted by apolwar

I always say 'Forgive but never forget.'

You forgive the person but never forget the wrong doing. That way you will know better and you can steer clear from any chance for that to happen again.

Yes U are right. But when someone close cheats you it hurts to core of the heart.

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Nereah

14 years ago

Forgive, learn from it and move on. Human beings will always let you down and majority will always want to gain at your expense. Simply learn to discern such traits in people early enough but should it happen., like I said earlier forgive, learn and move on!

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Arthur Barn

14 years ago

Yes, i already experienced it. I just forgive and forget about it. You see, we are not perfect. Everyone sometimes did mistake. It is just on how to deal with it.

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paul_1

13 years ago

You need to assess your circle of friends. You need to ask if are they able to bring out the best in you or they just bring you to the brink? If they hurt you that much, that is probably because that's how they are. You need to decide if it is better for you to get rid of them or stay with them. The people that you surround yourself makes up the total of you. In any case, the most important thing is yourself, stay positive all throughout.

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theory expert

Banned 13 years ago

When life owes you nothing, and, you learn to deal with that reality, you'll out manuevuer, outclass, and, outlast many who think backwards.

What does this have to do with you?

Think about it.

Take responsibility for having someone in your life who you empowered to hurt you. Never let someone take your power!!!!!!!

Can someone translate this so that the OP gets it?

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webworm

13 years ago

Yes but the feeling you got at this situation is the worst time of all life.

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davidlibra

13 years ago

Its really an un undefinable story for anyone how it feels when someone hurts you. But it becomes more miserable when your friend do something like this. What I have learnt in this world that don't ever do blind faith on anyone. Nature has its law the "Change is the law of nature" and that implies on everyone. Any one can change anytime.

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MaryKathan

13 years ago

Whether or not you stay friends .... the main thing I would make sure to do is forgiveness and release it - and that is for your own peace.

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Jeff Burritt

Banned 13 years ago

Yes. A surprise wound, especially from a friend, is very hurtful.

A small cut may need just a self-administered BandAid, but a large deep cut needs trained emergency medical services.

Just like a physical wound that requires medical attention, an emotional wound requires the right attention to help it heal.

Go see a counselor or therapist who specializes in family/marriage/relationships. There's no sense pretending the wound isn't there, or that it will just go away with time.

I am speaking from personal experience. Seek out professional help. It's worth it. The quality of your life may depend upon it.

Blessings,

Jeff

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When close friends hurt you

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