self sabotage and success

10 replies
Sometimes i feel like i get in my own way when it comes to being successful. any of you have the same experience?
#sabotage #success
  • Profile picture of the author bigbuddha
    I think its our biggest barrier...
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  • Profile picture of the author aldentan
    I believe that's how it is for most of us.

    People are afraid of success. I can't really explain it, but I do know for me personally it's that, even though I know the answer to something, I just am not doing anything with it... for some reason.

    I try not to stress myself out about this though. Hard work is important, but perhaps the answer would come, with great feeling instead of a lot of thinking.
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  • Profile picture of the author Saito
    Our biggest obstacle is ourselves. There are several good books on self-sabotage and it mostly seems to come from having a divided self, meaning:

    You're stuck in a double bind because you currently believe in two things that contradict each other, like "I'm going to make money in IM" (positive) and "Everything I touch turns to crap and I will ultimately fail and look bad in front of my wife." (negative)

    In this case, you have to remove the negative belief and focus on a positive replacement, probably through affirmations, hypnosis, subconscious reprogramming, etc.

    Self-sabotage can also come from conflicting positive desires when the different parts of yourself don't agree to work together. Your rebellious side might want to skip work and your inner disciplinarian might believe in working hard now and playing later.

    So what do you do? I'm no expert on this but the moral is to get yourself aligned and congruent. Do a little negotiating and compromising with your multiple desires, like deciding to work for 60 minutes, then stopping and playing video games immediately afterward so everyone's happy.

    If you keep repressing your desires, they WILL resurface with more power than you can stop through willpower alone at that time. The benefits come from the treatment and preparation...for me it's hard to do this in the moment when you are overwhelmed or feeling compulsive.
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  • Profile picture of the author Saito
    Our biggest obstacle is ourselves. There are several good books on self-sabotage and it mostly seems to come from having a divided self, meaning:

    You're stuck in a double bind because you currently believe in two things that contradict each other, like "I'm going to make money in IM" (positive) and "Everything I touch turns to crap and I will ultimately fail and look bad in front of my wife." (negative)

    In this case, you have to remove the negative belief and focus on a positive replacement, probably through affirmations, hypnosis, subconscious reprogramming, etc.

    Self-sabotage can also come from conflicting positive desires when the different parts of yourself don't agree to work together. Your rebellious side might want to skip work and your inner disciplinarian might believe in working hard now and playing later.

    So what do you do? I'm no expert on this but the moral is to get yourself aligned and congruent. Do a little negotiating and compromising with your multiple desires, like deciding to work for 60 minutes, then stopping and playing video games immediately afterward so everyone's happy.

    If you keep repressing your desires, they WILL resurface with more power than you can stop through willpower alone at that time. The benefits come from the treatment and preparation...for me it's hard to do this in the moment when you are overwhelmed or feeling compulsive.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jager
      Or replace desires with another pleasure; re-orient your pleasure/pain paradigm.

      For me, I quit video games cold turkey(lol). Really, years ago I used to spend all my free time playing Starcraft. I don't remember when it happened exactly, but I just quit. I thought of everything I could do with that time, and my desire to be something great overcame the nihilistic escapism of zoning out playing video games day in and out.

      I still watch tv and waste time surfing the web. My new barriers became that, and strangely walking around thinking. I'm not sure if anyone else does the latter, but I'll walk around a room and zone off on different intellectual subjects for way too long. IT keeps me unfocused.

      I instead do my best to focus on reading, running, and learning from working instead of from surfing the web.

      My 2 cents....

      Originally Posted by Saito View Post

      Our biggest obstacle is ourselves. There are several good books on self-sabotage and it mostly seems to come from having a divided self, meaning:

      You're stuck in a double bind because you currently believe in two things that contradict each other, like "I'm going to make money in IM" (positive) and "Everything I touch turns to crap and I will ultimately fail and look bad in front of my wife." (negative)

      In this case, you have to remove the negative belief and focus on a positive replacement, probably through affirmations, hypnosis, subconscious reprogramming, etc.

      Self-sabotage can also come from conflicting positive desires when the different parts of yourself don't agree to work together. Your rebellious side might want to skip work and your inner disciplinarian might believe in working hard now and playing later.

      So what do you do? I'm no expert on this but the moral is to get yourself aligned and congruent. Do a little negotiating and compromising with your multiple desires, like deciding to work for 60 minutes, then stopping and playing video games immediately afterward so everyone's happy.

      If you keep repressing your desires, they WILL resurface with more power than you can stop through willpower alone at that time. The benefits come from the treatment and preparation...for me it's hard to do this in the moment when you are overwhelmed or feeling compulsive.
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      I have to return some videotapes.

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  • Profile picture of the author WhiteStarlight
    If talking about self sabotage, i think it is not worth it, because when you do this, you don't really achieve anything, but more likely you will get yourself into worse mood.
    Instead i think it is better to think about the plan of actions you can implement to fix your current situation or to make some steps to success in your area, even if those steps are tiny.
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  • Profile picture of the author TheTruth2011
    Almost every barrier is Psychological and it comes from your social conditioning. You always have a reason to not do something, but if you get of your comfort zone and do it anyway you grow and start to diminish those barriers.
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  • Profile picture of the author Guru_Marketing
    Originally Posted by therealfactoid View Post

    Sometimes i feel like i get in my own way when it comes to being successful. any of you have the same experience?
    That's right. You know, often people DO NOT act based on their best interest in mind - it's a human nature. We need someone to inspire us in order to do it.

    Not acting on your best interest comes from fear and doubts that are holding people back.

    Remove your "inner demons" and success will become inevitable.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jager
    I think critical reflection mixed with self-help can help you overcome this.

    But really you need to want to overcome them in the first place.
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    I have to return some videotapes.

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