What if when your dear ones say "you cant do it"??

40 replies
This current time making this question personal for me..I thought it many a times but always preffered to be on the path on which I was..just an hour before my father suggesting me to concentrate on my studies rather than going for any IM and all.I dont feel interest in that because its a bit like sheep walk.
After 7-8 days I have returned on this forum as I think this forum as my family and always I get support from its members.Just I'm here to write my feelings to make my heart feel good.
I have some question too..."Can parents never be wrong??"
If they suggest us to follow the things they say..is it always necessary that what they are saying is most benificial for us??
Cant we also have a right decision for our life??

OK..feeling a bit relaxed..the thought which made me sad was not that, someone was saying that I'm doing wrong, the point was they were my dear ones who said that.
#dear #you cant do it
  • Profile picture of the author Tobarja
    My parents were Amway(offline network marketing) distributors in the 90s in addition to being self-employed. My dad stressed the importance of being self-employed in some capacity. I've owned my own business for six years now, and it has given me the ability to stay home when I've needed to to take care of our children. For people that have never been successfully self-employed, the concept often scares them.

    Corporate downsizing/outsourcing and sometimes just plain management stupidity has ended the era of a "good job". It's ok to want something more for yourself. Work part-time if you need to eat, but build something that is yours.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    This is a very common issue. Do a search for "family friends not supportive" and you'll see a ton of threads addressing it.
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    • Profile picture of the author Hils
      IT COULDN'T BE DONE
      --Edgar A Guest

      Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
      But he with a chuckle replied
      That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
      Who wouldn't say so till he tried.
      So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
      On his face. If he worried he hid it.
      He started to sing as he tackled the thing
      That couldn't be done, and he did it.

      Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that,
      At least no one ever has done it;"
      But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
      And the first thing we knew he'd begun it,
      With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
      Without any doubting or quiddit,
      He started to sing as he tackled the thing
      That couldn't be done, and he did it.

      There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
      There are thousands to prophesy failure;
      There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
      The dangers that wait to assail you.
      But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
      Just take off your coat and go to it;
      Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
      That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

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      • Profile picture of the author RobbieT
        Originally Posted by Hils View Post

        IT COULDN'T BE DONE
        --Edgar A Guest

        Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
        But he with a chuckle replied
        That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
        Who wouldn't say so till he tried.
        So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
        On his face. If he worried he hid it.
        He started to sing as he tackled the thing
        That couldn't be done, and he did it.

        Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that,
        At least no one ever has done it;"
        But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
        And the first thing we knew he'd begun it,

        With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
        Without any doubting or quiddit,
        He started to sing as he tackled the thing
        That couldn't be done, and he did it.

        There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
        There are thousands to prophesy failure;
        There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
        The dangers that wait to assail you.
        But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
        Just take off your coat and go to it;
        Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
        That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

        Thanks Hils, I love it!

        It's like the old saying ~ "If you think you can you can and if you think you can't you can't" or words to that effect.

        Take good care of those that you love.

        Robbie T
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        Follow my Journey to make an extra $40 or $400 per week each week and TOP UP YOUR WEEKLY INCOME

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  • Profile picture of the author WizIMS
    Then you MUST do it, to prove the dear one that YES YOU CAN.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Newman
    Even though our loved ones are usually driven by a good volition, they are not omniscient. At times, they are driven by fear. They think we might fail. It is vital to recognize that they are not necessarily trying to interfere in our lives, for the fun of it.

    They love us.But, we are primarily responsible for our lives.And, we must have the courage to pursue our dream no matter the obstacles.

    If I were in your shoes, I'd combine schooling and IM. Life is not just about marketing. Learning about other facets can also enrich your IM. I have post-graduate education. I am nuts about IM, yet I have no regrets that I spent years going to school. There is a certain confidence that comes from being broadly educated. It can't be bought.

    I wish you the best in your pursuits.
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  • Profile picture of the author paul_1
    The only person who knows if you could do it or not is YOU. The moment you decide that you cannot do it, it will happen. But, the moment that you decide you can do it, you are already halfway in getting it done. Sometimes the hardest step is the very first step and more likely, the very first step is the decision TO DO or NOT TO DO.
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  • Profile picture of the author Maraun
    I agree with WizIMS. If someone tells me that I'm not capable of doing something it only encourages me even more.
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  • Profile picture of the author davidsmoot
    When someone told you you can't do a thing, just do the opposite of what they are saying. Prove them that you can.
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  • Profile picture of the author webworm
    It give me more motivation that i should do it.
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    • Profile picture of the author NicoRoth
      Originally Posted by webworm View Post

      It give me more motivation that i should do it.
      that's exactly what i would say. besides, who cares what people say, i know its easier said than done, but if you train yourself to stop caring about what others say, and understand why they say what they say, then it becomes really easy. When i hear such comments i laugh now, because i know what i'm able to do and what my potential and capabilities are, no one else would know that about me, or you...
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  • Profile picture of the author TomHarvey
    Sometimes the loved ones think that they are the voice of reason and try to keep you grounded when in actual fact they are doing nothing but obstructing you....

    My general advice would be not to heed advice of people unless they are successful (ie. been there done that and done it well!), as anyone else is merely projecting their fears onto you which isn't right or helpful.

    Sounds a bit harsh, as ultmately family an friends are important but sometimes you need to persevere for yourself and follow your own dreams rather than be shot down by others.

    As has been highlighted, you aren't alone and its something that we all go through, but the fact you are here and highlighting your fears and garnering support is a positive!
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  • Profile picture of the author automedix1
    The only person that can decide if something is right for you - is you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Cataclysm1987
    "Those who say it's impossible shouldn't interrupt those doing it"
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  • Profile picture of the author GT
    As a parent and a grandparent, I try as much as possible to be supportive of my children and grandchildren's interests and pursuits. They have to make their own way in the world and I want them to feel free to try things, test things, pursue things that interest them.

    At the same time, I have more experience and a longer perspective on cause and effect. I want to see them make decisions that strengthen their foundation for future success. Getting a formal education is a valuable foundation that, once set, can serve a person very well, whether you pursue entrepreneurial business interests or work in the corporate world.

    I am sure this is your father's perspective. He wants the best for you and his viewpoint in life is probably "formal education/corporate or professional work".

    You need to respect that ... but at the same time, keep the entrepreneurial doors open. You may have to control and limit your Internet Marketing time and settle for a slower rate of IM development. It doesn't mean you have to choose his way or your way. You can find a balance. Later, you will have a better sense of which direction to pursue.

    GT
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    • The older I get the more I realize how much I have followed in my fathers footsteps with out even knowing it. When your young you tend to think that you know everything and what does the old man know.

      I think regardless of how you try and steer your children's course they are going to go their own way and likely make the same mistakes you did. All you can do is use your experience to minimize the negative results from those mistakes and offer the solutions you know to work.

      Plus always offer support in any endeavor they wish to undertake. If you disagree with it let them know but still offer support.

      I think this Teddy Roosevelt quote sums it up the best:
      "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

      Just my thoughts,
      Ben
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  • Profile picture of the author QuantumSoul9
    Well I think that you should first of all focus on your 'inner voice of the soul', to decide whether you should follow the IM path, not your family. Your father is not you, he has a different point of view and he can't see things that you can.
    Applying the subjective reality model I'd say that what your father says reflects your inner doubts whether you can do it, like their outside manifestation. Just focus on facing these doubts within you and achieve a positive state of mind.
    There are many methods of self improvement on this field, for instance visualisation is one of the most essential. But there is also a method for removing limiting beliefs called EFT, I suggest you check it out.
    So basically, I think that when you sort out things in your head, your father's or anyone's opinion won't be a problem anymore.

    As for the studies, in my case I finished 5 years of IT master degree studies, but I quit during making the graduation work. I've just decided that I don't want to follow the classic employment model anyway, and I don't want to work in the IT branch, but the knowledge and experience from these 5 years I consider something very valuable.
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  • Profile picture of the author buckeyes09
    First, I'd get a little angry at them doubting me. Then, I'd prove them wrong.
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    Christian

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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    You're in good company. : ) Every great person has had people tell them they can't do something. (Etc.) I have a whole list of them. Here's a couple:

    In 1998 Google founders Sergery Brin and Larry Page approached Yahoo! and suggested a merger. Yahoo! could have snapped up the company for a handful of stock, but instead they suggested that the young Googlers keep working on their little school project and come back when they had grown up. Within 5 years Google had an estimated market capitalization of $20 billion


    Angie Everhart, who started modelling at age 16, was once told by modelling agency owner Eileen Ford That she would never make it as a model. Why? Because "Redheads don't sell." Everhart later became the first redhead in history to appear on the cover of Glamour magazine, had a great modelling career, and then went on to appear in 27 films.
    Parents want the best for you. However they're not always right. : )
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    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author Simon Ashari
    Your loved ones are there to love you.

    They aren't there to support you... it isn't their job.

    Let them give you advice and then continue along with your plan (provided it's a good plan).

    Good luck.

    -Simon
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  • Profile picture of the author shawnspencers
    Banned
    keep doing IM and prove it that you can
    and i sure you that you CAN
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  • Profile picture of the author mervyngoh
    They are not rejecting you, they are only rejecting themselves. Think in this way.
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  • Profile picture of the author Wizardofwisdom
    Your dear ones have your best interests at heart.

    But it's YOUR life. Henry Ford, (who was the first person to mass produce the motor car in case you didn't know), was told by his family, friends and financial backers that he was crazy to try to do such a thing and that he would ruin them all.

    Ford said, "Whether you believe you can or you believe you can't, you're right."

    Believe in yourself and flourish my friend.

    (But do believe in yourself FIRST).

    Follow your dreams and your heart - otherwise what is life for?

    Enjoy the journey.

    Trevor.
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  • Profile picture of the author automedix1
    excellent words Trevor -
    Only you can decide if you are right.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dimitris Skiadas
    You know, when i started with Internet Marketing, 2 years ago, no one, absolutely no one did put his trust on me that i could make it.

    I was feeling very sad about this fact.From the one hand,it did make sense because my parents and friends didn't know exactly how i was going to make money..They knew nonthing about Internet Marketing and how this works.

    On the other hand, they should have supported my choice right from the beginning..Only when they saw that i was actually cashing in money into my bank account and made a living working form home, they trusted me.

    So, don't worry.Sometimes people need proof. Its in our nature, do not blame them.

    Do what you ve got to do.

    And NEVER regret for your actions!It's YOUR life!Not theirs.

    Dimitris
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Skelly
    You accept it or you reject it and move forward. Remember only 95% achieve some level of success in this arena so basically they're right! It's up to to your heart, ambition and focus to determine whether they were right or not. I say prove them wrong and rejoice in the fact that you are happy and successful because that means you're in the top 5%.
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    • Profile picture of the author MikeClaridge
      Originally Posted by Andrew Skelly View Post

      You accept it or you reject it and move forward. Remember only 95% achieve some level of success in this arena so basically they're right! It's up to to your heart, ambition and focus to determine whether they were right or not. I say prove them wrong and rejoice in the fact that you are happy and successful because that means you're in the top 5%.
      You're right about 95% of IMers fail, maybe even more. But of that 95% id say 99% dont get back up and try again. Dont let a statistic like this discourage you!

      When i told my wife my plans she basically said I was crazy. I said well this is what I enjoy doing when I have time. She hasn't said another negative comment since.

      Take up projects that you are passionate about, and you'll stick to it even through failure.
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  • Profile picture of the author megawarrior
    All the more reason to prove that you can do it. Many non-IM people don't understand the concept of IM. When I first started out years ago, my parents thought I was getting fooled by some dodgy get-rich-quick schemes.
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  • Profile picture of the author newseller
    Banned
    Originally Posted by vjandroid1 View Post

    This current time making this question personal for me..I thought it many a times but always preffered to be on the path on which I was..just an hour before my father suggesting me to concentrate on my studies rather than going for any IM and all.I dont feel interest in that because its a bit like sheep walk.
    After 7-8 days I have returned on this forum as I think this forum as my family and always I get support from its members.Just I'm here to write my feelings to make my heart feel good.
    I have some question too..."Can parents never be wrong??"
    If they suggest us to follow the things they say..is it always necessary that what they are saying is most benificial for us??
    Cant we also have a right decision for our life??

    OK..feeling a bit relaxed..the thought which made me sad was not that, someone was saying that I'm doing wrong, the point was they were my dear ones who said that.
    You don't say how old you are, here or in your profile, and that has a lot to do with it. Is he paying your bills?
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  • Profile picture of the author sach411
    I understand how you feel. Just couple of points .. from their perspective. (may not be the case with you though)
    1) It is not the first time that I said I will do, I'll make it happen etc..
    AND I didn't show the results.
    In fact sometimes, I just kept dragging things WITHOUT even doing anything.
    ==> Point is : If I am not serious about something, people around me don't take it seriously.
    And if I am serious, I get the results.
    If I get the results, I am not bothered by other's opinions.
    On the other hand, others opinions change as they also see the results.

    As many fellow warriors suggested, WE GOT TO PROVE ourselves more than to anyone else.
    And that's the hardest part.

    2) I should be primarily showing up the responsibilities on my current conditions, role.
    Assuming I am a student, I should be doing reasonable at the studies.
    If I am husband and runs a family, I should make my family feel confident about the livelihood. Sense of security can not be given to anyone however we should at least try to go on with current conditions.

    Hope my point of view helps
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanman
    This is what I'd say - "Yes dear, you're right" and keep on doing what I need to do & prove them wrong with my actions.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dimagiba
    Thanks for sharing your inspirational message guys, Thanks, I really want it right now.
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  • Profile picture of the author hireava
    It depends upon the situation, if it is for the better then I'll prove him/her that I can but if it makes the situation more complicated or worst, then I'll agree with him/her.
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  • Profile picture of the author Meozyn
    I love it when I say I am working on becoming rich online, and they laugh and say I can't. I will laugh when they'll be asking me how did you do it, teach me!
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  • Profile picture of the author gentryliving
    I often hear that family discourages on what you do. But if am on your shoe, i will strive and let them realize that i can do it. Nothing is impossible for a person who strive and have vision in life.
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  • Profile picture of the author icegin
    The best response to this is just to take action and prove them wrong. For most, discouragement from people close to you cause you to react in one of two ways:

    - you let them persuade you, give up and settle down with what you've got;
    OR
    - you fight against their words (with ACTION), and really knuckle down in order to achieve your goals

    Undoubtedly one of the biggest obstacles people face is trying not to let others put you off -- you don't know what you're capable of until you really try
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  • Profile picture of the author calebciantar
    It's a lot more challenging when it's your loves ones who told you you can't reach your goals. But is can give you more reason to prove yourself better.
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  • Profile picture of the author carlhenson
    If anybody says, "You can't do it", don't listen to them. They don't know what they are talking about.

    Often times, people will say things based on their belief. You see, people who says that you can't do something are those who don't believe they can do that themselves. And people that encourage are those that believe it is possible for them to do that as well.
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