Shut your mouth and don't tell people about your goals

68 replies
Hi all,

Wishing everyone a prosperous and happy 2012.

I just released another broadcast on why you shouldn't share your goals with people and how keeping your mouth shut actually helps you achieve your goals.

It's a 3 page pdf document and can be downloaded here. It's a direct download and no opt in or anything like that is required.

Regards,

Matthew
#goals #mouth #people #shut
  • Profile picture of the author Coolraul
    Interesting thought and thanks.

    In the past I have broadcasted my goals and I don't know if succeeding with any were as a result of broadcasting it.
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  • Profile picture of the author DeltaForce
    I think I agree that sharing goals with others is not good, I will checkout your share. Thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
    That's a great philosophy! I've actually been thinking about this recently!

    It's all in the doing! Talk when it's done!
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  • Profile picture of the author Jon Paella
    Yes, I think the number one person you need to share goals with is yourself - have positive self-talk and keep renewing your mind and heart regarding your goals. Once you've reached a level, you can share your goals if you want and even if people respond negatively you don't have to worry - you just ignore it.

    The most important thing about goals is that you believe you can achieve it - you, from the inside.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dyer402
    I absolutely agree with this. Ive always believed that actions speak much louder than words. I always find that the people that tend to not succeed or quit at their first few attempts at something are the ones that told everyone and their mother what their plan was to succeed. They have big dreams of how much better their life will be once they accomplish their goal, but when it comes time to do it they give up because it was harder than they anticipated. Acheive a goal FIRST and then just show people what you did. And even that way, people wont have a chance to tell you you cant do it. And, once accomplished, maybe you can even make a product from your experience just a thought..
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  • Profile picture of the author Nbroquis
    Nice title and yeah definitely agree with you on this one
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  • Profile picture of the author billyme
    I agree about keeping goals private, not to get discouragement or an inflated ego. Actions are stronger than words, after all.

    I do think that if you are making a commitment (such as walking daily for 30 minutes, studying for something, ect.) then telling other people might put more pressure on you to follow through which is good. I know you mentioned this but I feel it depends on the person.

    Great job overall. A quick and interesting read.
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  • Profile picture of the author aaronblevins
    Great info Matthew. I just shared a big goal with a friend of mine yesterday - wish I had read this before I did that!
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    • Profile picture of the author DGFletcher
      Thank you!!!!

      I *just* had this problem and honestly, the only reason I tell people is 'cause old advice said to tell people!!

      This validates me keeping my mouth shut! Thank you!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author 3000
    When I first started IMing I told my goals to my friends and family and guess what?... They all shot down my goals. They said it was "Impossible to make money online", it was "All a scam."

    I just take what they told me to mind and use it as motivate.

    Now I choose who I share my goals with very closely.
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    • Profile picture of the author rmolina88
      Originally Posted by 3000 View Post

      When I first started IMing I told my goals to my friends and family and guess what?... They all shot down my goals. They said it was "Impossible to make money online", it was "All a scam."

      I just take what they told me to mind and use it as motivate.

      Now I choose who I share my goals with very closely.
      Yeah, this is happening to me a lot too.

      I only share my goals with a closely tight knit group of people I trust now.
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  • Profile picture of the author ElliotBerg
    Great share and thought provoking too. I always fail when it comes to execution, if I have already told the goal to others but I just keep spilling the beans always. Thanks again for the share. This can help me out.
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  • Profile picture of the author cassiegetty
    sounds interesting! i'll check whats inside and think about it. thanks for the share
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  • Profile picture of the author danlew
    I would agree with this man. If I had my own goals, I would rather keep it to myself than revealing it with my loud mouth.
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  • Profile picture of the author cloudstrife
    I respectfully disagree. In my opinion it depends on the person who you share it with. The recent goals I have made i shared with my wife. And if anything it encouraged me to achieve the goals, many of which i have achieved.
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  • Profile picture of the author JoeUK
    Hmm, I've read various things that say to tell everone your goals in order to commit yourself and help make them a reality by the fact that everyone keeps asking you about them and expecting from you, however I've read elsewhere that you should keep them to yourself as telling others has a disempowing effect, I'm not sure which I think is 'right' though to be honest :confused:
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  • Profile picture of the author Chloe Emerson
    Very interesting viewpoint, makes perfect sense.

    Thanks Matthew!
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  • Profile picture of the author KingOfMusic
    Several motivational speakers suggest to announce your goal so that you have more reasons, to actually achieve it.

    But still, that's quite uncomfortable lol.
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  • Profile picture of the author ProScribe
    I agree with the idea of keeping the ideas to yourself of course for the reason that you get a feeling of accomplishment when you talk about them without having actually taking action but also in the LoA sense that if you have to justify your goals you will undermine the probability that they will occur
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  • Profile picture of the author Social Expert
    Thanks for sharing it with me, I will download it and see how it goes...
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  • Profile picture of the author sandy christine1
    Let people know about your goals,so that you can accomplish it.

    Kindest.
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    • Profile picture of the author blend
      Originally Posted by sandy christine1 View Post

      Let people know about your goals,so that you can accomplish it.

      Kindest.
      I disagree with this! Stay focused! The secret in life is not to tell your secrets!
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  • Profile picture of the author nickhale
    This is so true. Play your cards close to your chest. It's hard to get someone to buy you r vision and easy for them to find fault or question motivations. Make sure you know where you're going. Fix on the target and keep going until you get there. Remember, your choice is simple. You're either moving towards or away. Staying focussed is the key.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sam Khaled
    Some people do that to keep social pressure on them and keep on doing to keep their word and Promise too
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    • Profile picture of the author zannix
      Originally Posted by Sam Khaled View Post

      Some people do that to keep social pressure on them and keep on doing to keep their word and Promise too
      This is true and it is very effective also
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  • Profile picture of the author Rabrown
    Personally, I think if you need to tell others what you want to achieve - in order to achieve it - you don't want it badly enough!

    Unfortunately people do not tend to be very supportive or encouraging about you trying to build an alternative life for yourself. Make the commitment and tell your nearest and dearest only. Then go about making it happen.

    Anytime you find yourself watching tv, checking facebook, or other activities that are not futhering your personal goal - stop them and start on making your dream happen.
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  • Profile picture of the author JasonChoi
    yea, telling people your goals will trigger lots of resistance from them, and that will often cause you to lose the desire to keep moving forward. On other other hand, when you share your goals with someone you can absolutely trust, then that's a different story.
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  • Profile picture of the author Matthew Shelton
    I agree with the "keep your mouth shut about goals" in general, but there's ways of going the other way that really work - one of them is having a public deadline you can't get out of
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  • Profile picture of the author allenmyer
    very nice thought
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  • Profile picture of the author Arroway
    It's been shown by psychologists that telling someone your goals and getting positive feedback makes you feel as though you had already achieved it in some way. This weakens your resolve of actually achieving it. So even without having read your pdf, I agree!

    Allen
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  • Profile picture of the author FreshApproach
    I think keeping goals to yourself is a great idea. I have shared goals in the past with anyone who would listen to me rattle on, and guess what? I never finished whatever the project was. Now I stay mum with fresh ideas, and am much further than I have ever been before.
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    • Profile picture of the author Niky Ray
      Hey, warriors! My 2 cents here:

      I'm not sure if it's a good idea to "shut up" as this exact words might also indicate shutting up any receiving as well!

      Sharing your goal with people you trust can help you attract tools, human and other resources and support from places you didn't even know about!

      BUT, this doesn't mean that you should share your soul's desire with just about anyone 'cause this would actually work more like wasting it.

      And yes! If you over-analyze it and talk it over again and again eventually you will end up with no juicy momentum to serve your goal with.

      AND it will feel like it has already happened, so WHY BOTHER?

      If you understand Energy Psychology you might know about the power of the 5th chakra, which is the expressive energetic center of the body that governs communication and manifestation. As a result, VOICING and SHARING your goal through this powerful chakra accelerates its manifestation.

      It's like placing an order to the Universe loud and clear!
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  • Profile picture of the author leorocking25
    Great share..it's give me much knowledge about keeping secret the goals.In the pat time i didn't follow these rules but having read the pdf i gain new strategy which help to succeed in my life.
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    • Profile picture of the author Spaxmax
      Thanks to all who commented and sent P.M's
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  • Profile picture of the author stopper
    I think you can tell one or two positive minded people whatever you want to do, especially if it requires them to urge you on. As for the rest of the world they can know when you've done it.
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  • Profile picture of the author NicholasX
    Just to be honest I don't really believe that..By sharing your goal to other people, it will create a boost for you. Because you don't want to feel ashamed if you fail to achieve it. So your head will keep saying "Come on go chase your goal! Don't give up before you succeed"
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  • Profile picture of the author JamesCx
    I like the concept as I'm very fussy who I share my goals, ambitions and current plans with. Will definitely give it a download & read. Cheers!
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  • Profile picture of the author Chelam
    Oky i will shut it
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  • Profile picture of the author Repins
    Thanks for the share, very interesting.
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  • Profile picture of the author jonessandy
    totally agree...
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  • Profile picture of the author TamilYoung
    Thanks Spax. Downloaded your document. Good Read!

    I just wanted to share the below point here...

    "By telling everyone what you are going to do your mind gets a sense of satisfaction and
    gratification and is tricked into believing that your goal has actually become a reality."
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  • Profile picture of the author cardwelldoris
    nice post...
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  • Profile picture of the author zelgly2
    Thanks for sharing. I have known few has done it and someone would steal those ideas.
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    • Profile picture of the author Larry Carter
      Thanks for sharing this because I used to think when you shared your goals with other people it would start the wheels in your mind to turn and find ways to accomplish those. I'm going to be giving your ideas a go and see what happens.
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  • Profile picture of the author eguinan
    I'm careful about who I share my goals with. They are precious to me. I don't need to hear all the reasons it won't work.
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    • Profile picture of the author professorrosado
      Originally Posted by 3000 View Post

      When I first started IMing I told my goals to my friends and family and guess what?... They all shot down my goals. They said it was "Impossible to make money online", it was "All a scam."

      I just take what they told me to mind and use it as motivate.

      Now I choose who I share my goals with very closely.
      No one has any power to shut down anything unless you give them that power! And if you're afraid of this, then posting an offer on the Warrior Forum is not for you! Somebody will eventually comment that your offer is scammy, spammy , etc.

      Originally Posted by JoeUK View Post

      Hmm, I've read various things that say to tell everone your goals in order to commit yourself and help make them a reality by the fact that everyone keeps asking you about them and expecting from you, however I've read elsewhere that you should keep them to yourself as telling others has a disempowing effect, I'm not sure which I think is 'right' though to be honest :confused:
      Originally Posted by eguinan View Post

      I'm careful about who I share my goals with. They are precious to me. I don't need to hear all the reasons it won't work.
      But you should want to hear ALL the reasons something won't work!

      Those afraid of speaking their goals are afraid they will not achieve them.

      When sharing your goals with others who have never attempted them, their response can only be based on their estimation of your person - your ability to achieve. Are you so surrounded by achievement experts that you must shrivel in the face of incompetent, unqualified and envious babble?

      Goals are not corporate secrets. Don't disclose secret concepts to anyone!

      You should announce your goals in order to have accountability. Or should the Olympic games be held in private as to preserve the dignity of the competitors?

      I am a winner - like it or not!
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  • Profile picture of the author Saito
    My thoughts:

    "Now when you share your goal with someone and get their validation on what a great noble goal you have set you experience the same satisfaction you would have had you actually achieved your set goal."
    No I don't...I experience the satisfaction of achieving a goal when I achieve the goal. I receive support and deeper commitment when I tell others about my goal.

    Many people believe that by sharing their goals they become accountable to complete them. Look back to all the goals you have shared? Did you feel accountable to complete them? Yes. Did you complete them? Chances are you probably haven't in most cases.
    So announcing your goals has to work 100% of the time to be effective? Not sure about that, my man. What matters if it increases the % of the times that the goals are reached, no matter how low the # was to begin with.

    Should a CEO not share his vision repeatedly with his team and shareholders?

    Should JFK not have publicly committed to putting a man on the moon by 1969?

    Should support groups not exist? Members of Alcoholics Anonymous should not discuss their common goal of staying sober?

    Should we not have top-down accountability from coaches to commit to results with?

    I am interested in the possible downsides of sharing goals, but as many other writers here have said, there are a large variety of factors, like who you're announcing which goals to, and when/why.
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  • Profile picture of the author ElijahBrewer
    Great Post- I think its about how you are personally motivated. Some need that added pressure. Just my thoughts.
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  • Profile picture of the author trafficmasters
    different strokes for different folks
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  • Profile picture of the author Shatish Rao
    I have experienced this myself a few times. When I declare my goals to others, I tend
    to have a good feeling as if I've actually achieved it. As time goes on, I procrastinate and nothing happens.

    There were times, I kept things to myself and executed my goals. I started small and got things done. I have to agree with you, I find this a little strange but it works.
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  • Profile picture of the author DoWhatWorks
    Hi Matthew,

    Your post made me think of a quick and entertaining Ted Talk that I watched a while back, which talks about the psychological ramifications of telling other people your goals. I did a quick search for the video and found it:

    Derek Sivers: Keep your goals to yourself | Video on TED.com

    It's a pretty compelling argument for not telling others your goals, despite the conventional wisdom that teaches us that we should tell others our goals.

    -Terry

    Originally Posted by Spaxmax View Post

    Hi all,

    Wishing everyone a prosperous and happy 2012.

    I just released another broadcast on why you shouldn't share your goals with people and how keeping your mouth shut actually helps you achieve your goals.

    It's a 3 page pdf document and can be downloaded here. It's a direct download and no opt in or anything like that is required.

    Regards,

    Matthew
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    • Profile picture of the author professorrosado
      Originally Posted by DoWhatWorks View Post

      ... which talks about the psychological ramifications of telling other people your goals. ......It's a pretty compelling argument for not telling others your goals, despite the conventional wisdom that teaches us that we should tell others our goals.-Terry
      The problem is that most people do not differentiate between a goal and a lie!

      No reasoned conversation about this issue can be valid without the recognition that most people lie to themselves about what they are going to do. Simply, stating you are going to make a million dollars selling mouse traps is not a goal but an outright lie because you neither have a plan or the wherewithal to accomplish it.

      Goals should not be lies - they should be the reasoned outcome of what is doable by a person (not a fantasy).

      This is why you have two camps on this thread - one side speaks the truth about their abilities (goals) and the other is just dreaming (lies).

      One obscure tome declares; "Let your Yea be Yea and your Nay be Nay"!
      And another writer wrote; "To be, or not to be, that is the question!"
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  • Profile picture of the author ericbryant
    Thanks very much for sharing this!
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  • Profile picture of the author gordonlds
    Lots of opinions around this who knows?

    My thoughts are it is good to share your goals with a mastermind group or a coach; someone who is going to hold you accountable, who is going to ask how you are progressing towards that goal, what action steps you have taken to move towards your goal.

    It may not work for everyone but it works for me :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author hireava
    I think, telling or sharing to someone about your goals is okay as long as the person you are sharing it with is someone whom you can trust. Someone who will help and support you all the way.
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  • Profile picture of the author LulaFor
    When we shut our mouth up. Its same with we`re humble ourself : )
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  • Profile picture of the author Glenda from OZ
    i agree with this. keeping goals to myself helps me keep motivated because often times if people don't see results for you, then they doubt you, and it becomes easier for you to stop believing in yourself. Especially when your goals are high level ones!
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  • Profile picture of the author TheCrott
    haha so true
    if you broadcast your goals, your idea in future, sometimes and somewhat you have a probability to fail (in past, this happens to me)
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