by Jonathan 2.0 Banned
33 replies
Sometimes people will reject you. They'll try to stop you being successful either because they're afraid of you accomplishing more than them in life, or they're simply mean-spirited. The best way to deal with these kind of people (in my experience) is to keep on succeeding and accomplishing what's important to you. In the grand scheme of things you will come out on top.
#dealing #haters
  • Profile picture of the author Chloe Emerson
    Haters are generally miserable in their own life and would like for you to join them in their misery. Sometimes people hate because they were never shown how to behave properly.
    "A soft answer turneth away wrath" is the best approach I've found to shut down someone determined to cover you with their hate.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Chloe Emerson View Post

      "A soft answer turneth away wrath."
      Cool. I like that philosophy. : ) Sometimes there's some jealousy involved as well. I guess it's something everyone has to deal with particularly when they're going places in The World.
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Salesforce
      Originally Posted by Chloe Emerson View Post

      Haters are generally miserable in their own life and would like for you to join them in their misery. Sometimes people hate because they were never shown how to behave properly.
      "A soft answer turneth away wrath" is the best approach I've found to shut down someone determined to cover you with their hate.
      I agree to the pt. that haters are usually miserable in life their self graph goes down trend.
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  • Profile picture of the author mrelk159
    Honestly haters don't even register on my radar, I do not care for them, who they are or what they stand for. When a hater says "you suck at life" or "that **** will not work" I just say whatever. When someone says negative things to me, its like when a hobo says "you stink man", I just laugh and say whatever.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Good for you. Wish I could be more like that sometimes.
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author BeverlyHills
    This is really a very strange phenomenon - if you achieve any success in life, some people automatically start hating you! They behave as if you've taken away something they had a right to. I think the best thing is to distance yourself completely from them.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Originally Posted by BeverlyHills View Post

      This is really a very strange phenomenon - if you achieve any success in life, some people automatically start hating you! They behave as if you've taken away something they had a right to.
      Maybe that's the difference between "winners" and "losers." Or "Successful" and "Unsuccessful." (etc.) When I look at a person who is more successful/accomplished/whatever than me I either 1. Don't care. Or 2. Look at them as an inspiration to accomplish more myself.
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author AaronMorton
    Haters can be a great motivator if directed in the right way.

    The objective of a hater can only be successful if it affects you in a way that reduces your effectiveness.

    By directing the hate in a way that the more they hate the more it is a reminder to you that you are being effective, it can only be a good thing.

    Hate is only a problem if you internalise it and see it as a reason to feel bad.

    Aaron Morton
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Thanks everyone. : )

      Originally Posted by AaronMorton View Post

      The objective of a hater can only be successful if it affects you in a way that reduces your effectiveness.
      Definitely. And like you said, they can even motivate you to accomplish more.

      Originally Posted by belleinc View Post

      "The best revenge is massive success."

      Love that one. : )
       
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author TCwarrior
    Haters are also a reminder of what you do not want to be, use them as living proof that Law Of Attraction will help you not be like them.

    You won't be able to convert all haters in believers or in customers or in business partners, most are not ready; some are ready or just need a little help and these are those you could invest time in to share your understanding of things and successful mindset
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  • Profile picture of the author belleinc
    I think Frank Sinatra said it best "The best revenge is massive success" and I totally agree...just keep pressing on. And do it with a smile too, that seems to really piss ppl off cuz they cldn't steal your joy lol
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  • Profile picture of the author mimspaul
    i agree with Chloe Emerson...nice thought
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  • Profile picture of the author CharlesFords
    I deal with my haters by not giving time to them. I just let them do what they want to say what they want to do.. I won't let them pull me down..
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  • Profile picture of the author niua1
    Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      My favorite way to deal with haters in my life is "kill them with kindness"!

      And it is such fun! I especially like watching their faces when they're expecting me to answer them in like mean spirit and I respond back with sweetness!

      Back when I was a medical secretary, I always seemed to calm down the patients that were known as the cranky old men and my co-workers started referring to me as "the lady that tamed the shrew", haha!

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        My favorite way to deal with haters in my life is "kill them with kindness"!

        And it is such fun! I especially like watching their faces when they're expecting me to answer them in like mean spirit and I respond back with sweetness!

        Back when I was a medical secretary, I always seemed to calm down the patients that were known as the cranky old men and my co-workers started referring to me as "the lady that tamed the shrew", haha!

        Terra
        Terra! Love this post and it's so good to see you here - haven't seen you around much, or maybe I've just missed you when you were here...at any rate...

        Killing them with kindness is the absolute best way to deal with haters. It works for me!
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Hey, hey, it's Karen!

          I was wondering when I would bump into you and I'm so glad I did!

          I hope to bump into quite often, girlfriend!

          Terra

          Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

          Terra! Love this post and it's so good to see you here - haven't seen you around much, or maybe I've just missed you when you were here...at any rate...

          Killing them with kindness is the absolute best way to deal with haters. It works for me!
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  • Profile picture of the author vic alexander
    You know the minute you become successful, you tend to find out who your real friends are. It applies to business as well. Successful colleagues are genuinely happy for you. Miserable people hate you because they hate themselves for how their life has turned out. I have had my fair share of people who hate. Do not let their bitterness make you bitter. If they are jealous of you, then you are probably doing something right.
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    Vic Alexander

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  • Profile picture of the author IMoptimizer
    Haters come in many varieties - some of them are more subtle and resort to sarcasm and "witty" remarks. And others are downright aggressive and negative.

    Since they cannot build, they try to deconstruct and demolish. Either your reputation, or at least some of your self confidence.

    I usually avoid them and/or ignore them. But when I have no other choice, I will *try* to treat them with kindness. (I'm not always successful at this)

    The idea is not to let yourself be affected - i.e. not to be "reactive". Because that's what they're preying upon.
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  • Profile picture of the author kayshaw
    Kat Williams (a comedian) once said "If there is no one hating on you, that means that you aren't doing what you need to be doing"
    I really use that as my moto when there are people hating on me. That simply means that they are jealous and you make them feel uncomfortable. It never fails that when I have a success there are a line of people waiting to cut me down.

    To deal with haters, I simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and I leave it at that.
    Frith,
    Kayla
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  • Profile picture of the author rmolina88
    For a long time, I was part of that misery crew. I despised so many people that were doing better than me.

    But when I started learning how to work for my own success, I became far more appreciative of people who were more successful and even started looking up to them as role models. Now, I'm kind of a role model myself to some of my friends and family.

    Haters are the people who simply don't do anything to improve their situation and whine about it. The only thing they need to do is take action and their lives would improve ten-fold.
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  • Profile picture of the author mattryan30
    Oh boy have I had a few haters in my life! A lot of that hate came from so called "friends".I use to always put a positive spin on things by thinking that instead of the friends trying to be mean they were actually trying to motivate me or help me in some manner.It wasn't until I achieved what they ere harping on me about ,that I realized that they were just being mean to feel better about themselves. . It became obvious to me that I had something in another area they lacked so they would rub it in that they had something I didn't, or try to greatly minimize or poo-poo every accomplishment I made.One has to remember that haters are really people that are filled with insecurities.

    I, almost without exception get along great with every co-worker,but one everywhere I go. The reason is because there is always a hater out there who is jealous of at least one attribute I may have, no matter how small in my eyes that he wishes he had.Now when I listen to a hater,I know where they are coming from and they don't bother me anymore.

    I don't mind criticism because it helps me improve,but I can usually tell when it is sincere criticism by the manner in which it is presented.Haters just try to tear you down in a tactless, deconstructive manner. So just ignore them, or feel good about yourself,knowing that they are most likely envious of you.
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    You only have one life to live.Don't withhold your chance to become successful by procrastinating! Take action... Now!

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    • Profile picture of the author The Niche Man
      If you don't have any haters you're probably not thinking outside the box enough, not pushing the envelope or playing it safe.

      If you know what you're doing ... Haters can make you greater!

      The Universal response to all haters? ... Whatever!
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  • Profile picture of the author D3fiantMark3ting
    ALL criticism comes from ego! Ego comes from low self esteem.

    If someone is threatened by your presence or feels less of a person than you, they will instantly try to bring you down to their level. Don't let people who don't know where they are going or what they are doing in life bring you down.

    This is YOUR life and YOU choose how to live it. Who are they to judge ANYTHING you do?!
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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    I actually dealt with one such "hater" very recently... I used to hang out with this one lady, who was pretty fun to talk to until a misunderstanding happened. After that, I gradually began to notice that she really never had anything good to say about ANYONE... including (and perhaps especially) me. Over time I began to feel less and less comfortable around her, but wasn't sure why, so for awhile I denied it.

    After I bought my ticket into Warrior Event 2012 (! YES I AM GOING !) I loudly proclaimed that I'd gotten in on my Facebook, crowing that it will be a HUGE step in my long-term IM career (which it will be). I got a lot of Likes and people cheering me on... except for her.

    That was my final straw with her, I took her off Facebook after that.

    I cut off the negativity and turned to those who supported and encouraged me, and now I'm noticing a lot more positive energy from those I care about. Synchronicity? LOA? I believe so...
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    In all that you do, know your True INTENT...

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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      Originally Posted by Emily Meeks View Post

      I actually dealt with one such "hater" very recently... I used to hang out with this one lady, who was pretty fun to talk to until a misunderstanding happened. After that, I gradually began to notice that she really never had anything good to say about ANYONE... including (and perhaps especially) me. Over time I began to feel less and less comfortable around her, but wasn't sure why, so for awhile I denied it.
      Emily, I can really relate to this. It's really hard to have to say goodbye to friends who are toxic. But you can't let people drag you down. These kind of people suck the life out of you. So it's best to part ways and find people to hang with who are positive and inspiring.
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

        Emily, I can really relate to this. It's really hard to have to say goodbye to friends who are toxic. But you can't let people drag you down. These kind of people suck the life out of you. So it's best to part ways and find people to hang with who are positive and inspiring.

        I agree with you Karen and as a matter of fact, your post reminded me of one of my favorite quotes.

        "There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama in your life and the people that create it, and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good! After all, life is too short to be anything but happy!"

        Terra





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  • Profile picture of the author mattryan30
    I know some people say that it gives them motivation to prove someone wrong and rub it in their faces when they hate on you.I try not to stoop to their level,but it does give me motivation to see them get more jealous.The thing is, in my experience is the haters who become really toxic are the ones who call themselves friends.It doesn't even matter what you achieve they will try to to continuously negate or diminish any accomplishment you make. I could think I have the most attractive girlfriend or best job and they'll get me thinking my girlfriend is ugly and my job sucks. These people make the saying"With Friends Like these who need enemies" very relevant

    Its hard to completely ignore coworkers because you have to work with them,but friends who are constantly being negative and not rooting for you when something good happens need to be dropped completely. They don't meet the definition of friends. It may sound cruel but life's too short to hang around people who bring you down.If one wants to be happy they need to be around positive and happy people.Watch out for the major guilt trip and the numerous calls down the road when you try to end it. Toxic friends are hard to get rid of because they're like parasites who feed off of your self esteem to feel better about themselves and they hate when they lose their host!
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    You only have one life to live.Don't withhold your chance to become successful by procrastinating! Take action... Now!

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    • Profile picture of the author Sigma
      In all honesty, here's my thing on haters. they're everywhere, in all shapes and sizes, and different types of hating. and truth be told I believe everyone needs haters. Weather it's IM or in anything we need people that don't like when we're succeding in life. Why? Haters gives us thick skin, confirm that what we're doing is right for ourselves, fuel us, make us better not only at our jobs but as people (as strange as that might sound to some people). So though it might be irritaing to see or hear a couple haters come to you and tell you what your doing is a bunch of bull, just know that because of those same haters, your confidence and resolve to stick to what you decide on is only being made stronger because of them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Arroway
    It's a defense response; people find reasons to reject something they can't have. If they want something but then find out they can't have it, they very often find flaws in it, so "it's not that good, anyway". This way, they protect their own self-worth and their emotional state.
    In my experience, haters are usually losers; they want to have the success you have and are jealous, so they protect their emotions by simply hating you and letting as many people as possible know about it.
    Just try to ignore them!

    Allen
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  • Profile picture of the author buckeyes09
    Second place has no haters.
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    Christian

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  • Profile picture of the author cashmonk
    The best revenge on a hater is true success. If you have haters...you are doing something right...triple it..and they will say...they cant stand you.


    I love it...

    CashMonk
    What If Self Help & Personal Development Are Your ONLY Problem?
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  • Profile picture of the author megawarrior
    Instead of trying to bring themselves up to your level, haters try to bring you down to their level to feel better about themselves. Best thing to do is ignore them - nothing pisses them more off than indifference!
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  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    Remember that nothing means anything unless you make it something. Haters only make a difference if you care about they say or do.

    Just bless these people and move on with your life and do what's important for you.

    Surround yourself with people who truly support you...real friends.
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