Surrounded by idiots! I feel like Hank Rearden from Atlas Shrugged!

by Snow_Predator

Posted: 12 years ago 18 replies

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

It's so hard being a success-orientated person who is surrounded by people that are the complete opposite to everything you read about success!

People who need money, yet despise it. They despise wealth and despise ME for chasing wealth. Family members who live on my money and take money from me, yet treat me like ****, like I give them nothing - worse than other members of the family who provide nothing.

I'm not wealthy, and I don't have anything near the level of success Hank Rearden did, but I feel my family situation resembles his.

I've given up trying to educate these people, and I guess I just have to develop a thick skin like Hank did. But it's not easy.

Are you experiencing this too to some degree? How do you deal with it?

I'll manage of course, but it would ease my burden a little by discussing the matter just once.

#atlas #feel #hank #idiots #rearden #shrugged #surrounded

Nickboby 12 years ago

Families, ungrateful one at that, are tough. Do you have an option of moving away a bit? Just create some distance between you and them.
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Shack0812 12 years ago

Just ignore them, they are subconsciously jealous and their words and action reflect in everyday conscious thinking.
You can't really do something about it. Some people can't be educated.
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Jason Kanigan 12 years ago

Tough situation and quite common, unfortunately. An individual who is driven and is taking action--and getting some good results on their way to the goal--surrounded by doubters and haters. When it is family, it is tough.

You'll best be served by having at least one like-minded person you can skype with or talk by phone with...or maybe even meet for a coffee every 2 or 3 days. Set up the expectations that you both can vent at one another.

At home, just do the "good roads and good weather" routine...

"Honey, why are you wasting all your time with that internet garbage?"

"Hi, Dear...did you see how nice it is outside?"

You can't change them. Just about everyone on the planet is hardwired for security. They think a J-O-B = security and will never understand why that is not true.
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- 1luckyman 12 years ago
  
  Hey Snow - Hank bore it because he felt it was his duty - but he kept going because his commiment was to his own values. He did not want, need, or seek their approval.
  
  What he did do was pursue his ideals and find and deal with others who shared his view of life.
  
  They say you're income is the average of your ten closest friends. If you can live with your family, park your frustration, broaden your circle of friends, keep following your inspiration over time you will evolve to the point where either your family will see how far you've come or you will need them less. But if you need and want to keep that connection you will always have that choice. Good luck.
  
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Snow_Predator 12 years ago

Thanks for your replies folks, some good advice. Though getting away for a while would be helpful, ultimately I think I need to be able to accept them as they are - to be at peace with it all in a Zen kind of way.
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Michael Ten 12 years ago

Have secrets and keep them to yourself then maybe. Lolol. That does not mean that you have to lie. And probably no one should lie. Honest is best, but secrets are alright too.
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godinu 12 years ago

What you focus upon expands. Look for something like-minded or good in others; if it's hard to find, connect with others who are like-minded. Focus on positive things only and u will soon find that is what surrounds you.
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Emily Meeks 12 years ago

Godinu beat me to it, what you focus on expands.

Renounce those who fill your life with negativity. If it's a so-called friend or significant other, cut them off. Easier said than done, but must be. If it's family, give them your regards, but put enough space between yourself and them to focus on your work.

Energy is a commodity, neither created nor destroyed. You can only control the channels in which it is put into. Anyone who looks to build themselves up by putting you down is not worth time nor energy. Find the friends who support you and encourage your dreams, seek them out and cultivate the relationships you have with them. Won't be easy at first... but can be done.
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stafford 12 years ago

I don't have that problem, but I know plenty of naysayers and people who despise the rich. Funny, it's usually the people with less money that despise the rich. My mom was one of them as I was growing up.

I definitely want to be rich. I guess I'll lose several friends in the process since they'll despise me for it. Because you know the rich are handed everything they get, they don't do a thing to earn it because they are all lazy people. {rolls eyes}

One thing I get more than anything is people who think since you "work from home" it's not really work. You can stop and chat or text anytime you want. I've gotten good at ignoring my phone until it's convenient for me.

My husband is quite the negative person, so I have to deal with that. He is much better than he used to be, but he still has a ways to go.

Best of luck in solving your problem. I've had to "leave" people behind, so to speak, and will probably have to leave more behind. But, if people really care about you, they will support you. The ones who don't support me, it doesn't bother me if I leave them behind.

Just my 2 cents.
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D3fiantMark3ting 12 years ago

I understand what you are going through because I've been through it!

Simply put my friend, just do what you do! You do as you please. This is your life! Live it how you want! Don't let anybody judge you for it, because in the end, the only opinion that matters, is YOUR OWN!
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Musicmoneyman

12 years ago

Thank you for this thread.

I accepted a while ago that people like us are indeed different. Although most everyone wants success, not everyone is willing to go through what we do to attain it...In my case, that does include family.

I no longer try to educate my family or friends. I don't even waste my time mentioning what I'm doing financially with them. I found that it DRAINS YOU of your energy. Instead, I get support and encouragement by like minded people such as the folks here at the forum.

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Snow_Predator

12 years ago

Originally Posted by stafford

I don't have that problem, but I know plenty of naysayers and people who despise the rich. Funny, it's usually the people with less money that despise the rich. My mom was one of them as I was growing up.

I have to say I really disagree with a lot of Ayn Rand's philosophy, but one thing she was spot on about, is the perception that the poor masses have of the rich. They hate them! Now I may not be rich, but at least I don't have the typical poor man's mindset!

Originally Posted by stafford

I definitely want to be rich. I guess I'll lose several friends in the process since they'll despise me for it. Because you know the rich are handed everything they get, they don't do a thing to earn it because they are all lazy people. {rolls eyes}

{rolls eyes and shakes head}

Originally Posted by stafford

One thing I get more than anything is people who think since you "work from home" it's not really work.

We are treated like second-rate citizens in our own homes. Second to those who go OUT to work, even though they may earn LESS.

Originally Posted by stafford

But, if people really care about you, they will support you. The ones who don't support me, it doesn't bother me if I leave them behind.

I worry that these people can't even begin to comprehend what we are going through, so even when they do care about you, they can't really comprehend that you need any form of support.

Originally Posted by Dynamic1

I understand what you are going through because I've been through it!

Simply put my friend, just do what you do! You do as you please. This is your life! Live it how you want! Don't let anybody judge you for it, because in the end, the only opinion that matters, is YOUR OWN!

I wasted the first 25 years of my life going through formal education to make these people happy. I feel it gave me nothing in return, and I decided long ago that I will no longer listen the opinions of these people. So don't worry, that part I got handled

Originally Posted by Musicmoneyman

Yeh, it amazes me how these people make absolutely no attempt to improve their situation. They'll spend many hours trying to get a bargain, trying to SAVE money, but not a moment's effort goes toward improving their situation so they won't have to spend time/thought on saving all the time.

Originally Posted by Musicmoneyman

I no longer try to educate my family or friends. I don't even waste my time mentioning what I'm doing financially with them. I found that it DRAINS YOU of your energy. Instead, I get support and encouragement by like minded people such as the folks here at the forum.

Yeh, I know what you mean. I may however consider educating them passively from now on through suggestion - leave them breadcrumbs to follow. Anything I try to teach or explain to them openly, seems to antagonize them.

I just wish that rather than waste all their free time watching TV, they would pick up books and learn something about the world.

Yeh, the forum really helps

Thanks

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hardraysnight 12 years ago

family comes first every time
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- Snow_Predator 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by oncewerewarriors
  
  family comes first every time
  
  I know . I wouldn't be this troubled by friends, lol
  
  Thanks
  
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DueDiligenceDiva 12 years ago

You are the walking billboard of personal development. Keep working on you, reap the reward of your commitment, and then, as they say, success is the finest revenge!

The other thing that improved my success curve immensely was eliminating the "negative Nellies" from my life, as much as possible. If someone is not a necessary part of my world, I release them (internally, with a blessing) and then limit my interaction with them.

All success to you!
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AlwaysAwa 12 years ago

I know this kinda dumb but I will work outside, just to make them happy. Yes I lying to them, but as long they happy I don't see any problem. Not just to them but people who know me.

Test on these people, and result is negative. Telling to stop dream, it won't work.

That what gonna do when the time come. For now juggling both work and marketing.
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buckeyes09

12 years ago

Ignore them and try to find people who don't mind or care. Or pay for lots of nights out.

It's their problem, not mine. If you don't want to see me in an ostentatious vehicle, don't look.

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Snow_Predator

12 years ago

Originally Posted by DueDiligenceDiva

You are the walking billboard of personal development. Keep working on you, reap the reward of your commitment, and then, as they say, success is the finest revenge!

The other thing that improved my success curve immensely was eliminating the "negative Nellies" from my life, as much as possible. If someone is not a necessary part of my world, I release them (internally, with a blessing) and then limit my interaction with them.

All success to you!

Thanks. I love the part about success being the finest revenge. I have not much success to show as of yet, but oh I so cannot wait! Though of course, my motives for success must be more than just revenge ^_^. Revenge will be a sweet and pleasant side-effect.

Originally Posted by AlwaysAwa

I know this kinda dumb but I will work outside, just to make them happy. Yes I lying to them, but as long they happy I don't see any problem. Not just to them but people who know me.

Test on these people, and result is negative. Telling to stop dream, it won't work.

That what gonna do when the time come. For now juggling both work and marketing.

Yeh, as my earnings go up, I will certainly consider getting an office to work in.

Thanks

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Surrounded by idiots! I feel like Hank Rearden from Atlas Shrugged!

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