Top 5 regrets of the dying

51 replies
Hey everyone,

Here's a VERY fascinating article:

Top five regrets of the dying | Life and style | guardian.co.uk

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?
And the top five are....

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.


Certainly something to think about.
#dying #regrets #top
  • Profile picture of the author Matthew Shelton
    Thanks for the article - #1 on the articles' list is by FAR the most important to me, and for me #s 2- 5 flow naturally out of it.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5926007].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    #2 is actually a surprise to me. Personally, I would have a lot of pride for working hard all of my life. Unless they just mean working a menial job, then I can understand what they mean.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5926030].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author JasonChoi
      Originally Posted by Joe Robinson View Post

      #2 is actually a surprise to me. Personally, I would have a lot of pride for working hard all of my life. Unless they just mean working a menial job, then I can understand what they mean.
      Yea 'working 'hard' in the article refers to just being a slave instead of actually enjoying life. Nothing wrong with working hard as long as you enjoy it

      Here's what the article says:

      "
      This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
      I'm sure many of us who are into entrepreneurship don't feel like we're in a treadmill
      Signature
      ================================================== ================
      >>>14 Top Entrepreneur Experts Show You How To Own Your Financial Lifestyle <<<
      ================================================== ================
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5933947].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
        Banned
        Originally Posted by JasonChoi View Post

        Yea 'working 'hard' in the article refers to just being a slave instead of actually enjoying life. Nothing wrong with working hard as long as you enjoy it

        Here's what the article says:

        "
        This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
        I'm sure many of us who are into entrepreneurship don't feel like we're in a treadmill
        I know I don't feel like I am on a treadmill...anymore. I'm still very young so I don't have much experience to draw on; but I spent my late teens and early adulthood slaving away as a fast food employee/manager. It was pointless, it was stressful, and it made me a person that horrifies me looking back on it.

        I regret that I didn't put the time into family and the long term romantic relationship that I had at the time. It will probably stay with me forever. So I can see where they are coming from in that regard.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6039961].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author CPAExpert
    Banned
    He'd wish to be rich also...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5926084].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
      Banned
      Originally Posted by CPAExpert View Post

      He'd wish to be rich also...
      Why would a dying man want to be rich? Do your bank accounts transfer over to the afterlife (if there is one)?
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5927007].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author helpmefindmyself
    A few years ago I was choking on my breakfast and couldn't breathe. I had been working on something for my daughter and all I could think was, 'Damn, now I won't finish the project'.
    Signature
    “The mind's first step to self-awareness must be through the body.” - George Sheehan: 1918-1993http://helpmefindmyself.info
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5927955].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Tiffany Carter
    Very deep stuff i must admit
    Signature

    God,Family,Business. In that Order.
    .99 Cents Into A Million?

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5927985].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mikehess
    In order to live a fulfilling life, you must spend it more with your loved ones.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5928208].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author allenmyer
    i agree with mikehess
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5929042].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author leorocking25
    I agree with you but the number 3 is most important to me.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5930520].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author David Sneen
    In the end, it is about giving and receiving love. I am surprised that none of the regrets expressed a regret that they had not been closer to family members.

    Along life's path, there are Earthly needs. One is the need to make a good living. Although one may regret working too hard, one will not regret working smart.
    Signature
    David Sneen
    It's what you do when no one is watching
    that determines what you will be able to
    do when everyone is watching.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5933976].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author JasonChoi
      Originally Posted by David Sneen View Post

      In the end, it is about giving and receiving love. I am surprised that none of the regrets expressed a regret that they had not been closer to family members.

      Along life's path, there are Earthly needs. One is the need to make a good living. Although one may regret working too hard, one will not regret working smart.
      Hi David, the second regret seems to point towards that. The article says that by working hard, they missed out on companionship and their youth, which may suggest that may have missed out on being closer.
      Signature
      ================================================== ================
      >>>14 Top Entrepreneur Experts Show You How To Own Your Financial Lifestyle <<<
      ================================================== ================
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5948578].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5947340].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author alcymart
    Interesting indeed... but how many of the bunch had no regret whatsoever the article doesn't say? My guess is that it was an insignificant percentage...

    Bernard
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5947364].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author theory expert
      Banned
      Originally Posted by alcymart View Post

      Interesting indeed... but how many of the bunch had no regret whatsoever the article doesn't say? My guess is that it was an insignificant percentage...

      Bernard
      1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

      This was the most common regret of all.

      .....Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.



      The lesson is to look within and be who you really want to be. Forget peer pressure because when you are on the death bed it is you and your true self, cold, scared, and, alone (I imagine). At least that is what I gotten from it.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5947419].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    I actually worked in healthcare years ago and got close to lots of people who were near the end of their time. I asked many of them if they'd do anything different if they could. There were only two answers, The first was the #1 listed here. They would have done more, tried more things, not been so afraid to live.

    But the second answer was that they would have been a better spouse, parent, friend, etc. That they would have made more time and took more of an interest in the people that loved them and that they loved.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5947698].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author gentryliving
    I wish i spend so much time with family... this is the most regret that most people say.
    Signature
    Professionally designed custom blogging platform
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5948449].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JeremiahSay
    Interesting stuff.. My friend used to tell me "Will you be willing and glad to leave this world IF you have to leave tomorrow?"

    If you are NOT willing, then you'd better start doing something about it!

    I like the first point ! It reminds me a lot of that
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5948597].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author pauldailey
    nice share of thoughts
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5948858].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JJP
    Well, I think about is Not looking both ways when that truck was coming.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5948912].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author adpulse
    One mantra I stick by as much as possible is the following

    "Its better to try and quit, than to not try and ponder."

    Pretty much goes for anything, I dont want to be at deaths door thinking, "if only I'd done this or that"
    Signature
    Theres no fluff, no wool, no jargon, just simple, honest money making!

    Fast approvals, weekly payouts, 2000+ high paying offers, cutting edge tools.

    http://adpulse.net
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5949448].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Exel
    1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
    This is one of the most principles in life of all. Live the life to its fullest. Don't let others tell you what to do. Take responsibility for your actions. Living small and in fear is like not living at all.

    Thanks for the great article.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5950144].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mindthepap
    Let's be honest guys...

    The first is...

    I wish i hade more..sex-money and power!
    Signature

    Knowledge is power! ;)

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6039693].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Demond Jackson
    I have a couple of things to say about Regret #1.

    1) more people need the courage required to go after their dreams when they have a family, mortgage, plus other bills. When they talk about what they'd "like" to do, they are told to be realistic. Instead of "believing in themselves", they allow the dream stealers to win. They forfeit the experience of idea development, momentum and eventual success.

    2) We here on the forum are trained to be risk takers. It has become a part of who we are. Most people live with so much fear that developing an idea that could actually work gets shot down as seemingly impossible.

    It's interesting, I find myself thinking a lot about dying with my major desires within me and I don't like the feeling. I have no idea how I'm going to write and star in a major Hollywood movie that will win me an award, but somehow, I will. I have no idea how I will become a #1 New York Times bestselling author, but I will.

    My sincere wish for all who reads this is to pursue your dreams and goals with the confident belief that you can do and become whatever you desire.

    "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal."

    -- Earl Nightingale

    Everyone of you are already successful because you are pursuing a worthy goal or ideal.
    Signature
    Commitment is the difference between people who "have potential" and people who have results.
    Demond Jackson
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6040487].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Face Cap
    Thanks for this great motivational info
    Signature
    Best 40 Thunkable aia file-Start Your Mobile App Biz-Earn Money from Admob.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6042194].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author J Burgess
    This is very true. That was a very good article to read. Thanks for that, it has helped me a lot!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6043874].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author GT
    A couple of months ago I experienced a physical condition where I was convinced I was dying and had, perhaps, just minutes to live. My #1 regret was that I had not spent more time with family and had not encouraged and praised each of them more.

    However, being at peace with the Creator and having no fear of death, I declared to Him in silent prayer that I was ready to go if it was my time.

    Turned out it was not my time and the condition, although new to me, was not uncommon. Within a couple of hours, I had recovered and aside from a few relapses over the next several days, I soon returned to normal (well, "normal" for ME! lol)

    GT
    Signature

    * You Can Begin Earning Affiliate Income Here – Direct Commissions and Residual Income!
    * Home Business Resources and Affiliate Opportunities
    * Visit This Library to Expand Your Knowledge – Blog Post
    * Reinventing Your Life - Make the Rest of Your Life the BEST of Your Life!
    * Follow Me On Twitter ===> MyPowerSite <===| gtbulmer | StarrBizzcom

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6044787].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author icegin
    I remember coming across this article in the past -- definitely worth a read.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6045024].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6046995].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author bleudika
      While we are on the topic of death,
      let me share with you guys just one out of many methods to help you find your purpose in life.

      Michael Jackson is remembered for his music.
      Colonel Sanders is remembered for KFC.

      Ask yourself:
      What do you want to be remembered as/for, by those people you love or the society, as you lie on your deathbed?

      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6048715].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author IMHunter
    Great Article! Thanks for sharing.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6048861].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author HolyWarrior
    I couldn't care less if I'm not remembered by a bunch of people I don't know. The important thing to me is that I make the people I love happy.

    Out of all of these, I can't relate to a single one, and it helps me realize not just how fortunate I am, but how far I've come in my own personal development.

    I spend the most time with the people I love, my family and closest friends. Even if I spend 100% with them, I'd still wish that I had more time with them when I reach the end of the road... I think any loving person would.

    Being Christian, I believe that in death I have a lot to look forward to, and that ultimately I'll be with the people I love here on earth some point in heaven.

    I've found that a lot of people are uncomfortable with death, but death is something to come to terms with, not something to be feared. Focus on it in positive light, and you'll find yourself wondering how you can live a better life. That's what I've done, and now I find this list of five doesn't apply to me in the slightest.

    Give abundantly, especially in love and happiness. Even when you pour out your heart and give everything you've got, you'll find that you only have a single regret... that you couldn't somehow give more than everything you had.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6048908].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author luckystepho
    I think that to a certain extent most people will have some regrets when they die, it's human nature to think that you could have done more or had more with the time you had. Similar to when we lose a loved one and we feel guilt because we feel we should have done more with them or spoken to them more.

    A good technique for finding out what's really important to you is to select a quiet spot, close your eyes and imagine you are on your deathbed... imagine you are at the end of your life... then take notice of any regrets that come into your mind. Then take action!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6048984].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Gerald Arno
    Banned
    The more you take control of your life, the more joy you will have.

    Most frustration comes from not going anything, or doing something that is not meant for you.

    You get the most satisfaction out of the things that are important to you.

    If you are naturally afraid of everything, then it´s time to change that. You have no time to be a scared chicken just because you have been one your entire lifetime.

    Push yourself and get better.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6053358].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mindthepap
      Originally Posted by GeraldGigerl View Post


      If you are naturally afraid of everything, then it´s time to change that.
      You have no time to be a scared chicken just because you have been one your entire lifetime.

      Push yourself and get better.
      Nice said!
      Signature

      Knowledge is power! ;)

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6054245].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author kayfrank
    Its good to remind oursleves of whats really important in life - family & friends (& pets...)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6053630].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Riatsala
    Great to read these sorts of things on a regular basis. Keeps us focussed on what's important.
    Signature
    Free tip: The Secret to Achieving 100% Uptime. It's easy and very affordable, but not many people know about this.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6053777].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author rmolina88
    #1 really hits it home...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6055573].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Larry Carter
      This is a good read but at the end of the day if you can look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself that you've done the best you could that's all you can do.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6055628].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Eduard Stinga
    I read the article a while ago on Guardian - I have to say that #1 just says it all, very deep
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6055673].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author gordonlds
    I hope I am not dying but here is my regret so far: I wish I could let my doing live up to my knowing. I wish I had implemented all that stuff that I had learned. I wish I hadn't have spent all that money on IM products :-) I wish I had become very proficient at just one thing and moneytized it.

    The Saving Grace of it all is that in spite of the regrets, I have a great life a great wife and am very happy!
    Signature
    Six Of The Best No-Restriction PLR Products *FREE* My Best Ethical Bribe Ever.

    Could you use 6 high quality PLR products with OTO's to generate income for your business?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6055688].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author TheArticlePros
    Originally Posted by JasonChoi View Post

    1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

    2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

    3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

    4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

    5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.


    Certainly something to think about.
    #1 is something I have always done...I have little regard for what others think of me and I tend to do my own thing no matter the cost. (This isn't always smart, but it's worked out OK so far.)

    I have no fear of death, and as morbid as it sounds, I look forward to seeing what's next after this life. If I had any regrets so far, it would be never having moved next to the ocean...I'm working on a college degree and, no matter what, when I finish the degree I WILL be knocking that regret off the list.

    -- j
    Signature

    Posting About Life & Video Games:
    http://www.jarycu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6062854].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ElTrabajo
    My life is almost perfect at this moment. I wish i could live longer my beautiful life.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6062894].message }}
  • Live life to the fullest, common advice which is true.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6064171].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MarkSmallwood
    Pretty neat article. Makes you think about your own life.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6065061].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author russkampmann
      All these things are reversible, or at least changeable as long as we are still breathing. Even the negative things that I have done have contributed to what I am today. At least that's been the case in my life.

      BTW, I might be the oldest guy on this discussion (for whatever that's worth).
      Damn...you would ask. 75
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6066871].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author OmarNegron
    Interesting list indeed! I always thought about some people that spend all their life chasing and reaching for happiness only to finally realize that happiness was there all a long they just needed to choose to embrace it.

    Why wait to be happy when you can choose to be happy now? =-)

    Just a thought.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6074917].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author eguinan
    Thank you for the reminder to live each day as if it were my last. Regrets are very painful.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6099290].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author slackoff
    I think #2 is not saying don't work hard and don't take pride in it but just to remember some times there are wonderful things in life outside of just working. Gotta make sure your balance yourself or you'll die wishing you had taken that trip to the Bahamas, backpacked through Europe, or just spend more time with family/friends.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6105726].message }}

Trending Topics