What Does A Successful Marriage Require?

122 replies
"A successful Marriage Requires Falling In Love Many Times, Always With The Same Person"
#marriage #require #successful
  • Profile picture of the author Mari_Quint
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    • Profile picture of the author sarisri
      I read the three golden rules that my son is taught in the school and I feel it is apt even for marriage.
      1. Do the Right thing
      2. Give Your best
      3. Treat your spouse the same way u want to be treated
      When U follow these three rules stead fast, You will feel very secured. Guess what, People like to hang around with secure people. Marriage is no different.

      We Attract Who We Are And Not What We Want - John Maxwell
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      • Profile picture of the author DiamondDealer
        I agree completely. Think of what would make her happy each day, take the ebst care of her you can, and treat her like you're filled with appreciation and happy that she is in your life. Hopefully she will treat you well too. Most people would.
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      • Profile picture of the author Sandy Cormack
        Originally Posted by sarisri View Post

        I read the three golden rules that my son is taught in the school and I feel it is apt even for marriage.
        1. Do the Right thing
        2. Give Your best
        3. Treat your spouse the same way u want to be treated
        When U follow these three rules stead fast, You will feel very secured. Guess what, People like to hang around with secure people. Marriage is no different.

        We Attract Who We Are And Not What We Want - John Maxwell
        I would revise No. 3 to read 'Treat your spouse the way that she wants to be treated.' If I treated her the way I want to be treated, she'd get annoyed with me a great deal, because our personalities are different.
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        Sandy Cormack

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    • Profile picture of the author Lifeimprovement
      I heard one guy say, "Start every day afresh and seek to continue to pursue their heart."
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  • Profile picture of the author FreelanceSally
    Separate closets.
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    My name's not Sally.

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  • Profile picture of the author Sakkid
    Understanding each other in depth and respecting each other.
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  • Profile picture of the author twomasters
    The hardest for me was to realize that my wife does not like all the things that I like.
    We try very hard to build our relationship on respect for each other. There are things that I like/dislike and the same with her.
    The thing I believe makes the difference is to give of yourself to make the marriage work. (and to give of yourself - especially me as a male - is often VERY difficult)
    Cor
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  • Profile picture of the author Demond Jackson
    Continually falling in love with your spouse sounds good, but walking it out on a daily basis is a great challenge. Marriage requires you and your spouse to be patient with one another. Kind. Loving-unconditional love. Marriage requires commitment: both parties have lives, and the woman at the office can't get more important, or desirable than your wife. Marriage requires sacrifice. Marriage requires you to change just to be able to continue to live in the same house.

    Marriage takes hard work and a mindset that having a great marriage is possible.
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    Commitment is the difference between people who "have potential" and people who have results.
    Demond Jackson
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    • Profile picture of the author tanya7zhou
      Be patient
      Remember you are there to stay
      Understand they are only humans
      Love your spouse unconditionally
      No Reservations, don't have an exit strategy
      Don't entertain negative thoughts in your marriage
      Keep the first fires burning, all those appreciations, efforts, buying presents, going for a walk holding hands, eating out together, buying flowers, etc
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  • Profile picture of the author bots4sale
    I believe the key to a successful marriage is remaining best friends with your spouse. Keeping communication open, loving as though there is no tomorrow, and always remember why you fell in love with them to begin with.
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  • Profile picture of the author Expression
    "You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without."
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  • Profile picture of the author jgand
    A great marriage requires an joining of two people who have the same goals and dreams.
    A willingness to sacrifice for you partner.
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  • Profile picture of the author palaki
    Successful marriage requires:
    Understanding
    Patience
    Love
    Faith
    and many more elements

    "It takes a minute to have a crush; an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone...

    So keep your love blossoming..
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  • Profile picture of the author Chazzer
    Two things...a sense of humor and trust.

    With a sense of humor, it's being able to laugh and to make your spouse laugh also. The other day I was in quite a bad disagreement with my partner. We have totally different ways of "fighting". I tend to want to talk it all out and he heads into his "man cave" to cool down.

    But on this occasion we sat there -- the one who spoke first "lost". Finally after over an hour he looked at me and said "Well, I'm glad we talked this out. Doesn't that make you feel better?" It was so silly and funny that it instantly stopped and reminded me of exactly why I love him so much.

    The other is trust. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

    Sherri

    PS - Joebaby, are you sure your name is spelled correctly? From your post it looks like the "J" should be an "H".
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    • Profile picture of the author fred59
      Trust! ... I can't see a lifetime of commitment to anyone if you can't trust each other with your best as well as the worst.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pisaka
    It takes a lot of strengh to want something so badly that everything else becomes secondary. Not everybody has that strengh. Not everybody should have that strengh.

    You can't make your partner love you, but he/she does it. So,just be yourself, don't conceal your emotions, feelings and thoughts.
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  • Profile picture of the author ankita
    Suceessful marriage require
    Understanding, Trust, Love, Faith & Patience. If anybody follow this then its marriage is for 7 birth.
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  • Profile picture of the author irving
    Well my opinion would be PATIENCE AND LOVE are the most important factors to keep it running!!
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  • Profile picture of the author absolutelee
    This is totally from a guy's pov. But when I got married (almost 30 years ago...and to the same woman, I might add ), my dad told me to make sure I married the kind of woman that I would want to raise my kids. I did.
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  • Profile picture of the author reynald2790
    A successful marriage requires a lot of patience, trust and motivation of each partners. There are sometimes a successful marriage would come up with trouble for a small reasons but in the end they will realize that it is very useless quarreling about that small item. So, through quarrel a successful marriage and partners will arise.
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  • Profile picture of the author jayden.fellze
    A successful marriage requires many formula, but it should always be God-centered.
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  • Profile picture of the author PeachesNCream
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  • Profile picture of the author clever7
    You'll have a successful marriage only if you find the right person for you. Who is this person? The one that belongs to a similar psychological type and shares the same attitude when examining reality.

    If you'll marry someone who belongs to a psychological type that is the opposite of yours, your marriage won't last too long.

    This means that before getting married, you have to learn how to find the right person for you.
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    • Profile picture of the author Keeslover
      The #1 thing I love about my husband is he loves me for ME, faults and all, and has never tried to make me change. He says the #1 reason he loves me is because I put up with his sh**.

      So I guess we're saying the same thing.

      The thing that was hardest for me to learn was that we don't need to be together all the time to have a good marriage. My parents always were so I thought that was how it was supposed to be. He has his guy time, I have my gal time. And we laugh about it when we get home.
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  • Profile picture of the author SelfGrowth
    Seven Secrets to a Great Marriage

    1. It Takes Two To Tango - In great marriages, two become one. It is not you and me, it is WE! They are a strong team together. They form a strong marital relationship without losing their individual identities.

    2. There Are No Sacred Cows - In great marriages, couples talk about anything and everything. There are no sacred cows - no secrets. Successful couples are each other's best friends.

    3. Follow the Golden Rule - In great marriages, couples understand that you do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Great marriages show mutual love and respect to each other on an everyday basis.

    4. Your Body Is Your Castle - In great marriages, couples understand that taking care of yourself in a health sense is not sufficient. You must also promote health in your spouse. To live until "death do us part" requires a mutual concern about good health, diet, exercise and looking your best.

    5. Fill a Joint Return - In great marriages, it is not YOUR money and MY money, it is OUR money. Their financial goals are developed together and they are mutually committed to achieving them.

    6. Touch Often - In great marriages, touching each other multiple times per day is the norm. A touch acknowledges the presence of the one you love and says I love you so much I simply must touch you.

    7. Never Be Bored - In great marriages, love is characterized by variety and spice. Great marriages are exciting, never boring, and are full of unpredictable things. Don't always do that which is predictable.

    Check out my site, SelfGrowth.com and blog for more articles, videos, and links on marriage
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  • Profile picture of the author NikkiM
    What you put in, is what you get out.

    A successful marriage is based on partnership, friendship, and love. Without one the others will fail.

    A successful marriage is also based on hard work, determination, and the ability to dream together.

    "Nothing worth having, comes easy."
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  • Profile picture of the author tricia2253
    To have a successful marriage, each person needs to have their own bathrooms.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bukola
    tricia2253, I agree with you 1000%, separate bathrooms is a must. In addition, a successful marriage requires both individuals having a healthy relationship with themselves and a willingness to be each others reflections, see and accept what you may like and dislike in one another.
    Also you just have to be horny for one another, LOL.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kym Robinson
      One thing - open communication!
      the rest can be worked on if you have that!
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  • Profile picture of the author kenboss
    An excellent sense of humour is a must, as is the old adage, never let the sun set on an argument. Resolve to kiss and make up before going to sleep that night.
    Don't see it as a power game. Husband and wife should work like two wheels on a chariot.
    Be prepared to change horses in midstream if you suddenly realise your partner is right. Forgive.
    It takes two to make a fight - if one gets in a rage, be disarming and charming. It works wonders.
    If you are the raging bull, take a second to stop and look at yourself in the mirror in mid-rant. It becomes more difficult to take yourself seriously. You know you don't want to do damage you will later regret.
    Always let your higher self prevail, and don't let the mean, petty child within gain the high ground.
    Don't expect a grand time in the bedroom if you don't spend quality time outside of it. Don't let romance die, but don't go overboard with it either.
    If you're a husband, kiss her now and again on the back of the neck. If you're a wife, blow gently in his ear.
    Don't sweat the small stuff.
    Don't sweat the small stuff.
    Don't sweat the small stuff.
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  • Profile picture of the author lazaraus
    For the husband?A lovely young mistress half his age.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kim Thomas
    a truly succesful and happy marriage needs to have a ginuine since of loyalty, and undying since of passion and a deep and sincere ability to trust by all means.
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  • Profile picture of the author ulteriiormotive
    Only one word keeps a successful marriage and that word has a double meaning. That word is....drumroll.......communication, or you can call it an understanding,(even in silence). If two people understands one another and is on the same page then it is all to the good.
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  • Profile picture of the author FrontLineMentor
    It requires some important
    things like commitment.
    They must be able to
    work together. And
    have enough time
    to be together to share
    things
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  • Profile picture of the author rlnorthcutt
    Advice for Men:
    Give up 80% of the final decisions to the woman... but hold fast on your 20%. Most guys don't really care too much about the minor decisions.
    DO give your honest input when requested!

    Advice for Women:
    Men should be cared for and "trained" as you would a child. Take care of them and they will last longer... and help them to learn what you need.
    DO allow/expect them to lead, and expect yourself to lead from behind (see Tao Te Ching)

    Advice for both:
    Always be willing to say you're sorry

    Always express how you "feel" instead of judging:
    ie "I feel like you are trying to control me" instead of "You are a controlling $%@#"
    Judgements don't get us anywhere, but how we feel is always valid.

    DISCLAIMER:
    All relationships are different, but there tends to be one partner that takes a more dominant masculine role (men above) and one takes a more dominant feminine role (women above).

    That is NOT to say that these roles "should" be taken by any particular gender. Same sex partners, masculine females, feminine males, non-traditional families, etc. all will arrange along the masculine/feminine roles...

    ron
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    • Profile picture of the author john07
      Originally Posted by rlnorthcutt View Post

      Advice for Men:
      Give up 80% of the final decisions to the woman... but hold fast on your 20%. Most guys don't really care too much about the minor decisions.
      DO give your honest input when requested!

      Advice for Women:
      Men should be cared for and "trained" as you would a child. Take care of them and they will last longer... and help them to learn what you need.
      DO allow/expect them to lead, and expect yourself to lead from behind (see Tao Te Ching)

      Advice for both:
      Always be willing to say you're sorry

      Always express how you "feel" instead of judging:
      ie "I feel like you are trying to control me" instead of "You are a controlling $%@#"
      Judgements don't get us anywhere, but how we feel is always valid.

      DISCLAIMER:
      All relationships are different, but there tends to be one partner that takes a more dominant masculine role (men above) and one takes a more dominant feminine role (women above).

      That is NOT to say that these roles "should" be taken by any particular gender. Same sex partners, masculine females, feminine males, non-traditional families, etc. all will arrange along the masculine/feminine roles...

      ron
      perhaps one of the best advices on successful relationship. Thanks
      Man I seriously need them and I need to have a work-life balance and a lot of other things done for successful marriage
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  • Profile picture of the author TristinTaylor
    Commitment is important and loyalty... not to mention trust for sure
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  • Profile picture of the author thatgirlJ
    Love and commitment. If you have those two things, everything else can be worked through
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    • Profile picture of the author 1 Marketing
      Husband should have no ears and Wife without toung...

      Understanding, sharing, caring, bla bla bla
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  • Profile picture of the author NicheProdigy
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    Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Unless you are a masochist, then treat them the opposite of the way you like to be treated.

    Be honest and have an open line of communication.

    Yes, if my wife looks fat in that dress I say yes you do. If she gets mad at me, I then tell her:

    Don't ask me anything that you are not ready to hear the honest truth about because that is what I am going to give you. If you don't like my response, Next Time I can lie to you to make you hear what you want. She doesn't ask me that question any more
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  • Profile picture of the author Tyrus Antas
    What is a successful marriage? What for some is perfectly fine, for others might be an horrible relationship.

    There are no guidelines here, different people have different expectations.

    Tyrus
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  • Profile picture of the author naonline
    Complete understanding and patience from the partner NOT involved in internet marketing!
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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    I'm not married yet (we're engaged), but one thing I had to accept is that my boyfriend IS in fact, the most annoying person I've ever met.

    Let me explain. While I won't bore you with all the details, we had a long history before our relationship was ever official. As much as his antics would piss me off, I realized how deeply I cared for him and loved him. He would say the exact same thing about me. That fact comes before ALL else, no matter how hard it ever gets. We share far more good times than bad. We don't always see eye-to-eye, but we're on the same page as far as our relationship is concerned: we take the time out to love, understand and look out for each other. We have the same priority: enjoy life.

    Ultimately I believe it comes down to whether two people want similar things out of life. It doesn't matter if you listen to the same music, hang out with the same people or even share the same religion. If you want the same things out of each other and out of life itself, a relationship has greatest chances of succeeding.
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  • Profile picture of the author billiebjosey
    Thank you all for the tips..I just got married on october 16th..God Bless
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  • Profile picture of the author igorb
    Patience and tolerance are crucial. You have to have faith in your partner. If your love is pure and relationship is honest it will save your marriage to the rest of your life. Remember that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joshua Aikens
    Selfishness kills any relationship including marriage. Don't be selfish. Easier said than done, but you will discover that as you focus more and more on your partners needs, yours will be fulfilled by them. Your cup will run over you will be so fulfilled. Keep perfecting that for a lifetime and you are in for a happy life with your spouse.
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    • Profile picture of the author jamespitt
      Whilst I've only been married a couple of month - I think that the most important steps that people tend to forget are:

      1. Work very hard to really understand what the other person thinks - nothing kills a marriage as mis-understanding. Spend a lot of quality time just finding out about the person you are going to spending the rest of your life with actually thinks about things. If you know why someone does something, it's easy to accept and (if you must) change.

      2. If you are feeling frustrated, let your partner know about it, but do it in a nice way. Don't hide it - you're only cause problems in the long run. Also - don't just rant about it - people switch off and don't listen.

      3. Tell them that you love them. A lot. Also say lots of nice things - however tough people are on the outside they do like. Also - if they something nice to you, just accept it and don't look at the negative side of it.

      4. Make sure that you both understand your life goals. If you both know what you are aiming at - life become a lot easier. You make sure that you both keep on track.

      5. Spend quality time apart. Spend quality time together. Don't just slump in front of the TV for hours together - go out to a nice place to eat together and really talk. Also - go and do your own thing for a while. It's much better to spend 5 quality hours together and 5 hours apart than 10 hours watching TV.

      James
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      • Profile picture of the author usmanshakir
        Good marriage requires the sinserity and faithfulness. The intention of both the couple is more important than any other matter.
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      • Profile picture of the author nehaluck11
        Most important tip or secret crucial to maintaining a happy and successful marriage is providing each other centre stage. It is often seen that couples start forgetting the normal everyday little courtesies after marriage. Believe it or not, saying a simple Thank You, Sorry or simply I Love You can go a long way in keeping a marriage healthy and strong. Whenever you go out, try keeping in mind small gestures like serving each other first, making sure that the other person is not feeling lonely and left out, etc. Also, always listen to each other very respectfully. You will see the difference for yourself when you follow these tips and ensure that you have a happy and successful married life.
        Please try it. I am 100% sure it will work.
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    • Profile picture of the author AffiliateKungfu

      "Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own
      " -Robert A. Heinlein


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    • Profile picture of the author safe as houses
      A successful marriage requires an understanding wife
      Signature

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    • Profile picture of the author k0zm0zs0ul
      Originally Posted by Joshua Aikens View Post

      Selfishness kills any relationship including marriage. Don't be selfish. Easier said than done, but you will discover that as you focus more and more on your partners needs, yours will be fulfilled by them. Your cup will run over you will be so fulfilled. Keep perfecting that for a lifetime and you are in for a happy life with your spouse.
      Amen brother! You sound like an enlightened man.

      I agree, generosity in a relationship is important, whether it's your time, thoughts, or emotions. In addition, commitment to make it work, agreement to communicate in a healthy way, love and respect, and a healthy dose of humor are vital.

      Just my two cents.

      C
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    • Profile picture of the author sandra.IMqueen
      There are many things that contribute to a successful marriage or relationship and you've mentioned quite a few here.

      Without a doubt it all starts and continues with love but like anything else love is not enough. Love is action. How do your actions demonstrate your love, do you know, does your partner? It's important for both parties to recognise the way that their spouse is expressing their love and it is so important to acknowledge it.

      The next time your partner takes out the rubbish you might just have been told I love you.
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    • Profile picture of the author PMB
      I would say love, honor, respect, open communication, trust and patience. It would be hard to stay married and be and be selfish as well. The person marry today will be different 5, 10, 15 years from now. And so will you. Commit to listen, love and forgive. Do these simple things and you have a shot at a successful marriage in my opinion.

      PMB
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  • Profile picture of the author Shoaib
    A successful marriage requires that you watch and learn from Desperate Housewives.
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    • Profile picture of the author dari_tasheva
      which of the 4 housewives do you have in mind?)
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    • Marriage is for better or for worse and God in their midst so the bond will stand the test of time.
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    • Profile picture of the author Liesel
      Honest and open communication. This means really talking out issues, and listening to and respecting what your partner is saying.
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    • Profile picture of the author windwhirl
      There's really no formula or specific requirement to survive a marriage. Much more to make a marriage successful. But there could be routines or rituals that could help.. that could enhanceor sustain the spark. Why not start a good habit -- at day's strt, a couple should affirm their commitment to each other. Always have breakfast together. Whether you start early or eat late due to business calls that cannot wait for office hours. And it is important that at the end of the day, heartaches should no longer be dwelt on.

      Also i think it is important that both parties are satisfied and content with each other. Stop looking your partner does not have. Just appreciate what he/she has.
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  • Profile picture of the author denisconn
    Communication. That is most important.
    Yes, couple need love, trust and open mind to handle their relationship.
    But without proper communication many good marriages very easy slip to deep crisis.
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  • Profile picture of the author erwindegrave
    Openness and trust... If this is exist, life will be more easier even in the existence of problems! :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author pmill06
    Letting each person grow explore and share their life openly and honestly with their partner. While also realizing and respecting the differences between you both.
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  • Profile picture of the author LauriNiskasaari
    Well, if you`re a man, telepathic skills should do the job...

    ...Just kidding

    It takes understanding your partner and allowing your partner to be as they are.

    -Lauri
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  • Profile picture of the author degcommunications
    Marriage is a full time job with part-time benefits, required overtime, and is marketed as a weekend resort.
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  • Profile picture of the author successfulmom
    Communication...Hands down!

    Or as my husband likes to say...A happy wife a happy life. lol
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    Live, Laugh & Love!
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  • Profile picture of the author Detangled
    I've never been married before, but I believe the key to a really successful marriage is to have the following: trust, communication (lots of it), love and faith!
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  • Profile picture of the author MsDebra
    Think of your marriage as a covenant that can't be broken and it will survive those times when you can't stand each other.
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  • Profile picture of the author neil1976
    It requires good understanding, patience and tolerance from both sides. They should listen carefully to each other every time they communicate. Otherwise, there are going to be problems.
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    • Profile picture of the author sith005
      Ruels to live by:

      1. Don't hit on her friends
      2. Don't buy her gifts with your name on it
      3. Don't agree to watch the Lifetime Movie Network (it won't help, it will only hurt).
      4. Always agree with her when she complains about the 'crazy' people at work
      5. No matter how much you think she loves you, she hates your tacky track pants, trust me.

      In all seriousness though, in my experience it starts and ends with communication. Love, attraction, passion, are all a given and should be part of the equation for sure. But the one thing that can sabotage all of them is poor communication.

      Having open, honest, and meaningful communication with your spouse is the best thing you can do for your relationship. Now if I could just figure out how to do that right...
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  • Profile picture of the author Truffle
    Although I'm not married, I have been with my girlfriend for almost four and a half years now. Which seems quite a feat when you look at people around us who don't last nearly as long.

    I can't say I know it all but I do have a few things I'd like to share with you

    • Don't take yourself too seriously
      - so be playful and be able to laugh at yourself as well
    • Be able to do silly things with each other
      - like going to the zoo to blow bubbles
    • Be honest
      - some things she/he won't like to hear, but it's all in good heart
    • Laugh with each other
      - laughing is fun and it gets even more fun when you do it in a duet
    • go to places you've never been with each other
      - see and explore different places in the world
    • be enthusiastic about his/her ideas
      - even if they suck, you can still guide them a bit to a "better" idea
    • reach out
      - don't wait for a reason to do something good for the other person
    • surprise gifts for no apparent reason
      - I regulary buy something small, funny or something I know she'll enjoy in a store and ask them to wrap it in.
    • be romantic
      - on days he/she wouldn't expect it, makes a bigger impact
    • learn something new together
      - anything that involves you two working together (as a team would be even better) is great
    • make fake "arguments" and "fights"
      - yeah, sounds silly but we haven't had a real argument or fight in four and a half years because of this
    • have goals and ambitions you want to achieve
      - nobody wants to be with someone who's lazy and won't amount to anything
    • Do some dream-sharing
      - ask what he/she has always dreamed about doing, also if possible find out ways to make his or her dreams come true (and see his/her eyes sparkle as it happens )
    • there's nothing a woman loves more, than feeling like a woman
      - be chivalrous to her and when she least expects it, whisper something nice, softly into her ear
    • for the ladies out there, men love to "have a purpose" and want to feel like a man
      - what I mean with purpose, is that we want to feel as if we're useful to you
    • fun kitchen play
      - make dinner together and make sure to really get your hands involved in the process
    • walk your relationship to higher planes
      - go for long walks together, preferably in different locations
      (I think we have had dozens upon dozens of walks which were longer then 2 - 3 hours and had a blast talking to each other)
    • workout together
      - in the gym, on the track - getting physical can lead to ... getting physical :p and it can be fun and good for your body at the same time (plus a bonus for the men here, working out with an attractive member of the opposite sex boosts testosterone levels)
    • adore the unique features
      - are there things which only he/she does? remember those things and learn to love those things, it's one of the things that set him/her apart from the rest
    • compliment
      - don't say "what a beautiful dress", make it more personal and say "that dress looks perfect on you". Also try to make the compliments unique, something he/she has never heard someone say to them before
    • comfort the other one
      - when there's a time of sadness and those times will find you sometimes. comfort the other one and be understanding
      (so no "stop the whining, you little baby"-type of talk lol although it is sometimes funny if it's not something to seriously be sad about )
    well, I can't think of any other tips I'd like to share.
    But I think my 21 bullets of wisdom (lol) might help someone to improve his/her relationship

    have a nice day,
    Joeri Bickx

    Ps: last tip : Love yourself and love woman/man
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  • Profile picture of the author samlb
    i think giving of yourself and thinking less of your rights - BUT within the bounds of WISDOM... or am I foolishly becoming a doormat?
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  • Profile picture of the author csongi12xme
    Well.Forget your computer,job in weekends and focus on her.
    I think most important thing it's attention on each other.
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  • Profile picture of the author managepro
    Originally Posted by Expression View Post

    "A successful Marriage Requires Falling In Love Many Times, Always With The Same Person"

    LOVE, TRUST and RESPECT for each other, thats all it takes for a successful marriage...
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  • Profile picture of the author thriftgirl62
    Don't trust the other with so much of your own faith and love, that you allow temptation to creep in. Trust your best friend with your life but not your money or your wife.

    Helping out another couple "save money" for a few months by letting them move in with you is a bad idea, even sisters and brothers-in-law. Exposure leads to temptation and over time it will wear anyone down - even you!

    Money. Having a lot of money doesn't matter unless you married a raging egomaniac with a God complex and a narcissistic personality disorder. Having plenty of money will make you believe he's really just eccentric and YOU might be the crazy one.

    LOL -->>
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  • Profile picture of the author Marketstriker
    First of all marriage must start from mutual love.
    Then the man has to understand the psychology of women and make his wife always to fell emotions and love. That will prevent cheating and etc.
    The third step is set a goal for yourself to build a happy marriage.
    Of cause there are many details. But these are three core steps.
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  • Profile picture of the author Arinal
    Letting the other person have it his/her way. Very simple.
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  • Profile picture of the author Arun Pal Singh
    Commitment to Succeed in spite of odds
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  • Profile picture of the author cirrus
    Love
    Trust
    Communication
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  • Profile picture of the author vanhoogy
    Leslie and I have been married 24 years and practice a couple very simple :rolleyes: things:

    1. Communicate: as much as I like my "man cave time" I know it's essential to our longevity for me to talk about my day and share with her not only my thoughts but my feelings.

    2. Time: we worked side by side for 20 years and had tons of time to talk and stay close; now we work separate and have to create the time to be together; we have 4 kids and 3 dogs and it's always a sacrifice to be 'just the two of us', but it's always worth it.

    3. Quality: we decided a long time ago that the quality of our life meant more than the quantity. Each day could be our last and we are not promised tomorrow. Sometimes when you stop and think about it, it just makes you more grateful for each other.

    Thanks for asking such a great question, SVH
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  • Profile picture of the author wemakeiteasy
    1. Integrity
    2. Strength
    3. Courage
    4. Compassion
    5. Lowering of pride
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  • Profile picture of the author dari_tasheva
    You are all totally right. I would like to ask you something else. Have you ever heard about "The languages of love." There are 5 languages of love-encouraging words, helping, spending time together, physical closeness, gifts.Every person has different language of love,different way of showing that the other loves him/her.For example, if a man's language is encouraging words,but his wife only tries to spend more time together(just because that is what she needs),then the man will not feel loved.Understanding other's language of love will provide you successful mariage.
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  • Profile picture of the author bmitch213
    I really think a successful marriage comes down to 2 things. I got marriage at 18 and wife was 16. We've been together over 14 years now.

    1. Unconditional Love
    2. Trust


    I could go all in depth but honestly this is what it all boils down to.
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  • Profile picture of the author joedwi1
    three things money,money and love
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  • Profile picture of the author JCTunes
    Based on my marriage of almost 17 years, I'd say the necessary things would be:

    * Love
    * Commitment to your spouse above everyone else
    * A great sense of humor for both spouses, and
    * Communication.
    * In our case, also a strong mutual faith in God.

    If you have those qualities, you can make it through the worse storms life can throw at you. :-)
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    If there's a will, there's a way!

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  • Profile picture of the author hblzr1
    Two words for men that GUARANTEE a long lasting relationship "YES DEAR" LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author devearoux
    need a lot of love and money for her shopping
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  • Profile picture of the author JeffBronck
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author tush
      Originally Posted by JeffBronck View Post

      As good old T.Robbins says:

      "A relationship is a place to GIVE, not to GET".

      So with that in mind, I really think it's about being in the moment and asking yourself this question everytime you're together:

      "What is THE one thing I could do RIGHT NOW to make my girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife really feel loved by me?"

      Try it for a week, It will spark it up

      Wish you all happy relationships!

      Best,
      Jeff
      The problem comes if it is only one person doing the thinking and doing.

      For happy marriage esp for ladies, be independent and keep your identity. Don't look up to anyon to make you happy. If this happens, then your spouse will be drawn to you:-)
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      • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
        A clever print ad from a couple of months ago:


        Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author Veredfu
    Often people fall in love and later, when they fall out of love they find out that they have nothing to share with each other and nothing in common...
    Falling in love has much to do with physical attraction, and it is certainly should be there, but it shouldn't be the only thing.
    If after the "falling in love" phase people still love and care for each other and love to do things together, there are better chances that their marriage will last.

    I believe that the most important things for a successful marriage are that husband and wife should share a common goal in life. If their goals are contrasting, each one will try to pull the family and the other partner in his direction and the result will be frustrating for both.
    Another very important factor is communication. Sometime people wake up in the morning after many years together, and realize that they don't know who is the person laying next to them, because they just lost touch so many years ago...

    I don't think that the essence of successful marriage is to stick together at all cost, I believe that successful marriage is to be happy together and to stay together because of that happiness and not only because of the commitment. That doesn't mean that there will not be difficulties, but it means that overall there are more moments when you share happiness together.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sandy Cormack
    Upon reflection, I'm going to fire something that might not be popular, but here goes:

    The best way to succeed in marriage is by not marrying the wrong person. There might be hundreds upon hundreds of 'right' people for you, but I guarantee there are a million times more 'wrong' people.

    And in turn, you are the 'wrong' person for the same number of people. You aren't a bad person, you're just not compatible. Or you might not be ready for it.

    I had a friend, no longer with us sadly, who was a highly successful pre-marriage counselor. He boasted a 100% success rate - no one who went through his counseling had gotten divorced.

    His secret? If he knew the two weren't compatible from the get-go, he bowed out.

    He knew that people got married for all kinds of reasons, many of which had ZERO do to with STAYING married. He saw his job as weeding out these people to find the ones who 'got it.'

    Before you get married, ask yourself these questions about your relationship, yourself, and your prospective spouse, as a 'first screening.' Then move on to more practical issues.

    - Do you understand the difference between a wedding and a marriage?
    - Do you argue every day about stupid crap?
    - Correllary: can you resolve differences without arguing?
    - Sub-correllary: can you let things go? Ever?
    - Do you have totally incompatible future goals?
    - Is one of you very ambitious and the other totally lacking in ambition?
    - Is one of the main reasons you want to get married that 'my best friend just had a huge wedding so now it's my turn?'
    - Does one of you see themselves living in the mountains and the other, at the beach?
    - What about one living in the city and one in the country?
    - Do you believe that 'love will keep us together?' (If so, please leave the counselor's office, now)
    - Do you believe that 'there's only one true soul mate for me?' (Ditto)
    - Do you think you'll be able to place your triathlon training program on the backburner when family issues arise? (one of my friends is getting divorced over this)
    - Are you willing to take on your parents if they become a problem in your marriage?
    - You are different people. Can you live with your differences? Or do you expect to change your spouse later on?
    - Do you truly UNDERSTAND how you are different, and what it will take to bridge those differences?
    - Do you or your prospective mate have any ongoing issues involving drugs, alcohol, violent behavior, larceny, assault, serial killing, cannibalism?
    - Are you more like the Bradys or the Bundys?
    - Or like Felix and Oscar?

    Satire aside - one of the hardest things to do is to assess a relationship, even if you love that person, and find it needs to end.

    Some relationships are hard-wired to succeed. Others are hard-wired to fail.

    Don't take the relationship to the next level unless it has a good chance of succeeding. Otherwise, you're just putting food on the table of divorce lawyers.
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    Sandy Cormack

    Creativity Training, Strategic Planning, Personal Development, Organizational Development, and Lead Guitar
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  • Profile picture of the author markshields
    it's just simply having faith and loving each other will make a marriage strong..
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    • Profile picture of the author coconutisa
      Unconditional love, giving and accepting the person as they are...
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  • Profile picture of the author 3afash
    When both partners can maintain the same level of happiness whether or not they're together -- complete understanding and acceptance of impermanence. And, not identifying with the ego
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  • Profile picture of the author jborjaperez
    "A couple that sees eye to eye is good.. But when they look in the same direction it's even greater."

    A common goal in life.
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  • Profile picture of the author Vibrant Warrior
    Here's some of the best advice I have ever found on the Internet:
    Exert from Dr Ellen Kreidman's Lighyourfire.com website
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  • Profile picture of the author James12C
    "If it's that you're seeking,
    Love in the marriage cup -
    Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
    Whenever you're right - shut up!"
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  • Profile picture of the author CourtneyHow
    Honesty
    Romance
    Compassion
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  • Profile picture of the author richporr
    A successful marriage requires me getting off this computer and giving her some attention. lol

    -Rich
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    I wrote my signature on the screen with a Sharpie but for some reason it's not showing up.

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  • Profile picture of the author styla786
    Research has shown that families who are committed to a strong religious faith have a much greater chance of staying together. It is still true, the family that prays together is much more likely to stay together. Marriage was instituted by God. He has a divine order for it. We can't improve on his plan. We just need to believe in it and practice it.
    and love with each other is the very important thing in married life.
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  • Profile picture of the author SilentX
    It requires the effort to love a person. Love, to me, is not a feeling. Love is a choice that you undertake to benefit yourself and the one you love. That's why people's marriages fall into a funk. It's because they started out loving each other, and being infatuated with one another, but then they allowed themselves to slowly grind out a groove of least resistance. They begin doing whatever is easiest around each other instead of making the effort to show their love to one another, even if it means a bit of fighting and a bit of making up. Love is a choice that you choose for yourself and for the other.
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  • Profile picture of the author akoni
    I've been brought up with a family wherein from my parents, to my grandparents, to my aunt's and uncles, their husbands and wives are still together.

    What i see is that among them is that there's this bond - a strong bond between couples that will serve as the foundation that no matter what trials or obstacles in life they encounter, they were able to surpass it. Above all, there should always be love, and respect for each other.
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  • Profile picture of the author tk226
    successful marriages prevents divorces and the reasons that give rise to divorce are the same reasons which if positively taken will result in successful marriage.
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  • Profile picture of the author JJ Rendon
    Trust, honesty, love and he/she is your best friend. Most importantly, you both share the same passion to make your relationship work. I just heard Brian McKnight's Back at One, I agree with this one, because loving someone is a never ending process.
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  • Profile picture of the author unknownpray
    Weekly days out-of-the-house,
    Communication,
    Discussion of problems,
    Time with each other.
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  • Profile picture of the author IMoptimizer
    Love is a hard thing to define these days. For me, it's love and commitment.
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  • Profile picture of the author maidmarion
    Congratulations for your marriage! You do need acceptance of the other, they are not like you nor need they be! Our differences are what makes the relationship interesting.

    Give each other space, and fill ourselves up first rather than expecting another person to do it for us! Love them as you loved them the first time, there were things about them you initially loved, keep those in mind as the years go by!
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  • Profile picture of the author StephanieMojica
    A commitment to love, peace, happiness, and prosperity. Passion doesn't necessarily last, but honesty and commitment can with the right mindset.

    Stephanie
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  • Profile picture of the author Radcliff
    I am not yet married. Got familiar with many important points and now I am going to improve myself to meet with the qualities.Hope it will help to make my upcoming marriage life a success.Thank you everyone who posted here for rescuing me from a upcoming nightmare.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Bell
    I married a stunning beautiful amazingly hot woman! I did not marry my 'old lady'

    -I married a commitment-no matter what the cost, struggle

    - I married respect- I never take my wife for granite, she does so much and it takes a genuine appreciation for what she does and who she is continually...Taking anything for granite greatly diminishes the perceived value

    - I married communication- we must talk about everything, we must speak our minds, we must be in tune emotionally and spiritually with each other

    - I married my girlfriend- we have fun together! we laugh, have date night, I'm her perpetual night, i make a point to always wow her

    Marriage involves discovering and diving deeper into one another.
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  • Profile picture of the author Duncan Macleod
    I've been married 2 years and 2 months and this is the bit of wisdom I've used the entire time, and still use on a daily basis. But let me start with as story.

    15 years ago, I accompanied a friend to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting as he was celebrating 1 year of sobriety. There, a man who had many years of sobriety under his belt was giving a talk. He asked the crowd gather, "Who here has been sober the longest?!"

    Someone said, "I've got 7 years." A person said, "I got 15." While another said, "I've got 20 years sober!" He was the one who had the most years in the room and every one clapped for him.

    The speaker said, quieting the room, "You're ALL wrong!" We were stunned. "Whoever got up first this morning is sober the longest!"

    A key philosophy of AA is "One Day At a Time." And we can tie that into Eckhert Tolle's "The Power of Now" and all that if we want, but let's tie it into marriage. There have been people replying in this thread with many more years together than I have with my wife, but I she and I got up first today, we've been married the longest!

    Am I equating marriage to addiction recovery? lol Of course not. Just the No Day But Today mentality, and to make sure you work a on your marriage a little bit every today that you have. Fundamentals, just like practicing any skill. I don't have 20 years as a guitarist. I only have today, and I need to practice. That's why I have a copy of our vows by my bathroom mirror, so I'll see it every day. And yes, all the time I've spent with my wife means something, but it will mean nothing tomorrow if I don't do something about it today.

    Thanks for reading this long ramble!

    -Jim
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  • Profile picture of the author medi50cus
    Just wanna share this very wonderful song for you guys.

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  • Profile picture of the author pethanks
    Human love is conditional. You have to center you r relationship to Christ. That is the best thing to do to have a successful marriage.
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  • Profile picture of the author dcyberpunk
    What a beautiful thread.
    Thank you to everyone who has posted thoughtful comments ~ how inspirational is the power of love in a bond so unique and yet as common as marriage.

    D.
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  • Profile picture of the author PeterDunin
    Trust,respect and humour.
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  • Profile picture of the author TelexTape
    When my husband is asked this question, his reply is always, "The everlasting pursuit of her affections." Makes me giddy every time I hear it.

    Love in a marriage is based on a foundation of trust which leads to open communication. From there just about any issue becomes workable and def don't sweat the small stuff.
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  • Profile picture of the author mrdomains
    Empathy. Empathy. Empathy.
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    Free action plan : Think less. Do more.

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