When I lost everything(story)

by mge
45 replies
I received an email today from Internet Marketer Ryan Moran. I wanted to share it.

Hi guys.
I've been wanting to write you this email.

I consider a lot of you folks to be my friends,
and I've been thinking about this email for a long time.

There is this perception of me that I live this amazing
lifestyle, traveling whenever I want and doing awesome
things....

And heck... I just opened a restaurant (pictures to come later!).

All of that is true, but it wasn't always like that.

Some of you know that just 18 months ago, I lost pretty
much everything (or at least it felt like it).

One of my businesses went belly-up... a web designer
stole $20,000 from me and killed one of my other
businesses... then my brother got hit by a
drunk driver...

My income went south... I lost my free time... and what's
worse... I felt like a ZERO.

Like everybody was succeeding but me. Like everyone
was *happy* but me.

(I was letting my "life circumstances" determine how
I felt about myself... not a good thing.)

I began to resent other people... and I shut myself up in
my room and didn't talk to hardly anyone.

I became so unhappy and so "not myself" that... to top it
all off... I drove away the girl that I loved, and she broke
things off just before I had planned to propose.

It was the worst.

And I worried... ALL THE TIME.

For a good three months I woke up in the morning and
felt sick to my stomach.

Bored... unhappy... stressed... anxious... depressed...

My doctor said that my adrenals were shot because of all
of the stress.

And then I developed heart palpitations because of it, too...

I was not well.

It took a good six months to get back on my feet... and
that was a process of getting myself back into shape,
building relationships, and reformatting my business.

It wasn't easy.

Through it all, I'll tell you that I could NOT have gotten
through it if it hadn't been for other people...

People I wanted to learn from, and people who just reached
out because I was going through a tough time...

(In the process, I learned that people are all that matter.)

Like my friend Brendon, who was my Bible study teacher...

My friend Mark, who mentored me about business and
became my dearest friend.

And Travis Sago, who you probably know as the "bum marketer."

Through all of that, I came out a much stronger person, and
I felt like I *had* to go through all of that in order to learn some
very difficult lessons about life.

In fact, when you go through a tough time, you come out on
the other end feeling almost indestructible... because if you can
go through Hell and come out with more knowledge and a stronger
sense of self... then nothing can stop you except yourself.

If I may, I'd like to give you some of the lessons that I learned
during that hard time, now that I'm on the other side of it 100%:

1) You are NOT what you do. You are NOT what you earn. And
You are NOT what people perceive you to be.

All of that is an illusion. Who you are is constant - it never changes,
and it's as valuable as any other person on this planet. What you
DO does not define you, and what you've DONE does not define
you. And most importantly, what you EARN is not what defines you.

That last one was hard for me. Especially in this "make money online"
world where people say money is everything.

2) Keep Your Business SIMPLE - if you are confused by
business, you are probably making it too hard. The simplest
solution is almost always the best solution.

3) Take Care Of YOURSELF First - I realized that I wasn't
being there for my mom by staying miserable. I couldn't support
my family if I felt bad all the time. So I got into shape and shored
up my income streams... and THEN I could really help people.

4) Never do what other people can do for you. If you want to have
a business, then we have to get comfortable letting other
people do the less important tasks. This not only increased
my productivity, but it kept me sane, too.

5) Get Off The Computer. Gosh, this one took me awhile.
After years of spending 15 hours a day at the computer, I
realized that I was driving myself crazy. I was WAY more
productive and creative when I went out with friends, went
to the beach, even just got in my car and DROVE for awhile.

When I got back from being out, my mind was much clearer
and more creative to get things done. It was amazing. The more
time I spent at the computer, the less I got done. If I worked in
chunks with real breaks, things got done. Crazy.

And one last tip... and this one is so simple but profound...

6) SURROUND yourself with the people that you want to BECOME.
You become the people that you hang around with. So I literally
immersed myself with people that I wanted to be like.

People like my friend Vinnie, who had a family and several
businesses while being a leader at his church, yet still had time
to talk me through life issues whenever I needed a friend.

(Wow, I just welled up even thinking about him.)

My friend Mark Anthony, who simply believed in me.

My best friend Mark, who I literally followed around everywhere
just to pick up on his habits and mindset and became my best
friend in the process.

Kevin Wilke, Jason Drohn, and the others who listened to me
whine on the phone and coach me through tough times.

And of course...

My buddy Travis Sago... who not only taught me about business,
but about life and peace and being a good husband and friend.

It was from him that I realized that you can be yourself
and still be successful.

And that money wasn't an end goal, just a means to whatever
other goals you have.

And how important it was to keep my body healthy in order
for my mind and my business to be healthy.

And a bunch of super specific, "aha" moment tips about
how to run my business with less stress and more freedom.

He's probably the wisest man that I know.

...

This email is getting super long...

But I hope that the lessons that I've learned along my bumps
and bruises are helpful to you in any small way.

At the very least, if you're going through a tough time,
I wonder if life is not giving you the opportunity to learn
valuable lessons that you can't learn anything else?

And if you don't learn them now, when?

Each of us are given a choice every day, to either see
the negative or to appreciate our blessings...

And how we "feel" about it doesn't determine that.

My rough patch 18 months ago was the darkest time
in my life... but it has opened up more light than ever.

I appreciate ya, all of ya. Even the negative nancies. Cuz
for awhile, I was too, until I went through a tough time that
made me stronger and happier.

I'll tell you more later, if you guys wanna know.

For now, I'm off to the opening of my new restaurant,
which I will tell you about another time.

Talk soon,
Ryan

P.S. Thanks for listening. And for being awesome.
#everythingstory #lost
  • Profile picture of the author candoattitude
    Thanks for the post. It has some lessons.

    I especially liked "I learned that people are all that matter" and "SURROUND yourself with the people that you want to BECOME."

    You have shared some real pearls of wisdom!
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  • Profile picture of the author dardar
    YES, nice post,will keep that near me,for when I need a lift.
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  • Profile picture of the author Robbie B
    I got that email from Ryan yesterday. It makes all the difference to have folks send emails about real stuff and not a hyped sales pitch. It's one of the reasons I like to stay on Ryans list.
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  • Profile picture of the author THEDUKEFLEED
    Lovely post
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  • Profile picture of the author eternalwarrior
    Very heart touching story... Thanks for the share...
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    • Profile picture of the author SteveSki
      Thanks for sharing that email...

      What great advice...

      Focus on taking care of your mind, body and health first, keep your business simple and don't become addicted to the internet.

      Cheers,
      Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author Miss Bee
        Good common sense advice, thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author IMHunter
    Great Post! Thanks for sharing.
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  • Profile picture of the author jpete
    Man, what a great post Ryan...

    I recently went through a similar situation as you and I feel your pain...

    All the best with your new restaurant venture... I am sure you will do well...
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  • Profile picture of the author Chloe Emerson
    "Get off the computer" - brilliant!

    I've noticed that if I have my face fixed on the screen for
    hours on end my productivity goes wayyy down. My desk is between two windows,
    but if I never look out of them....welllllll

    I appreciate the post, thanks for sharing it

    Chloe
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  • Profile picture of the author zelgly2
    Great post! I have been in situation similar to his. health wise as well financial wise . So i know the pain he has gone through. He has got really good friends.Fighting spirit wil make a person to fight till the end and come back from even ashes.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jauhar
    That was a good read. I think most of us go through a point like that in our lives. But the most important thing is not to let it affect your personal surroundings and those you love.
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  • Profile picture of the author crork
    man, thanks for your story and advice! good luck to all!
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  • Profile picture of the author Bond Girl
    That was very inspiring and REAL. thanks for posting!
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  • Profile picture of the author Himitsu
    Nice post! I like it!
    "Be strong, be simple, be blast!"
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  • Profile picture of the author samanthasdatul
    Really sad when you think everything you lost, I experienced very terrible so I relate on your story.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Sneen
    You are a shining example of the saying, "that what does not kill you, makes you stronger." Although I want to grow stronger, I never want to experience what you went through.

    I am sure that you appreciate what you have a bit more than you used to. I hope some of us can empathize enough to learn from your circumstances.
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    David Sneen
    It's what you do when no one is watching
    that determines what you will be able to
    do when everyone is watching.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rick Britton
    I also lost everything as a result of the credit crunch in 2008. I am slowly fighting back

    one day I will write a book about it
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  • Profile picture of the author seoproservices
    Good piece of information... thanks man
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    "All things happen for a reason"
    Runescape Auto Clicker Auto Typer

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  • Profile picture of the author jason17
    awsome friend,, really inspiring story, thanks,, never give up and keep spirit and positive thingking always ,, live will change ,,
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  • Profile picture of the author jewelraz
    Awesome article, Read full. I am getting emotional right now cause I too spend 15 hours per day in front of computer.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ross Petal
    Great post and thanks for sharing. Ryan went to hell and back but there is so much hope in his life now. Having a balanced life is the key with good people around you, looking after your health, doing simple things that make you happy and not spending too much time on our pc's.

    I guess we all go through trials and tribulations of life but those nightmare experiences make us stronger and more determined to succeed.
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  • Profile picture of the author mrelk159
    "It's not how many times you fall down but how many times you get back up" ~confucius

    I think you did just that, I thank you for sharing this post, now I have a real life example where I can draw inspiration from!
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  • Profile picture of the author prismkuet
    Very long but interesting and educative post. It teaches that, you can face different types of obstacle in life, but never give up hope. Try try and try, and then one you will get the success. Thanks for sharing the nice post.
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  • Profile picture of the author Exel
    Interesting and inspirational, great advice there.

    It is so easy to give up and fail, and so hard to persist
    and succeed, but if you persist - great things await you.
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  • Profile picture of the author gentryliving
    Nice post! Very inspiring. Hope to be on Ryan's list.
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  • Profile picture of the author hirithk
    hai
    good post!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author hireava
    Such an inspiring story! It is really through experiences that we learn about life's lessons. A very insightful post!
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  • Profile picture of the author kevinpritchard
    inspiring story....
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  • Profile picture of the author asuran
    It was a great story. I wish everyone your story to end in a happy way.
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  • Profile picture of the author ezplr
    Great post, incredibly inspiring.
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  • Profile picture of the author OmarNegron
    There are many so called "Gurus" out there that may not be totally honest or tell you things how they really are. But in the case of Ryan Moran, he tells you, this is one of the reasons why I do respect him as a IMer and a person.

    Seems everyone goes through tough times and each one of us does have the choice to either stay down or pick ourselves right back up.

    Remember that it doesn't matter how long you stay down as long as you get up.

    Never give up!

    - Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Simon Ashari
    This was good. In particular tip number 1. You are not defined by what you do or what others think of you.
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  • Profile picture of the author jis19992
    I'm happy u turned things around
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  • Profile picture of the author DueDiligenceDiva
    "It was the best of times...it was the worst of times..." And often, they are one and the same, when you pay attention to the lessons life is offering up.

    For those who have suffered and endured life challenges, and come out on the other side a better, richer person, they understand this truth at a gut level. And this applies no matter how rich, or successful, or famous...or not...that you are.

    Thanks for the share, I appreciate authenticity...
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  • Profile picture of the author narendras83
    Banned
    Yes, nice post. Thanks for the shared.
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  • Profile picture of the author lincolndesigns
    Very inspiring and touching post. It's crazy how fast everything could go wrong, glad to hear you're doing more than better now!
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    • Profile picture of the author art72
      Originally Posted by lincolndesigns View Post

      Very inspiring and touching post. It's crazy how fast everything could go wrong, glad to hear you're doing more than better now!
      I am finding it a bit odd YOU continually comment on 'old threads'?

      While there is no law against it... What is the point of continually 're-kindling' these old threads?

      Why not just READ them, and 'post' your responses on recent threads?

      Threads that include the original posters input and continued correspondence!

      As one who often recommends using the 'search function' here on the forum, I personal see a 'pattern' where you seem to 'comment' regularely on old threads...and it's becoming annoying, as I generally Iike to contribute to the forum too... and engage with active users... But, it aggravates the hell out of me... That YOU keep relighting all these old threads... with no one at the helm!

      Please consider 'others' when you do this, as many times 'respondants' - like myself feel to be communicating with the OP's thread... Only to awaken to the realization that YOU reopened a dead thread, that more often than not... The originator is no longer a contributor here or active to respond to the 'rash' of new responses YOU are creating.

      Responses directed at the 'original poster' - not YOU!

      Again, there's no law against it, but PLEASE be considerate to the fact; the originators of these posts are no longer RESPONDING... it's like putting gas in an old ship that has long stopped running, and setting it afloat- and polluting the ocean!

      Thank-You Kindly,

      Art Moran
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  • Profile picture of the author Caroline Lingard
    Thanks for sharing that. A very inspirational story. I've lost everything TWICE so I know where Ryan is coming from! It puts everything into perspective, most importantly, your sense of Self.

    Its a humbling experience and you can never be the same again afterwards. You are better. You have developed yourself. Built up your character. You come out wiser and stronger, you are more grateful, you know who you are and what's important in life and what is not. It spurs you on to greater things in the knowledge that you know that having been through all that loss, that having coped with all that, you can cope with anything . . . and you can.

    It is a kind of enlightenment. It doesn't feel like it at the time you're going through it, but afterwards you see it as real blessing! When you've let go of all the material stuff and any emotional pain attached to it, you come back to the real you and what a gift that is!

    If anyone reading this thread is going through this kind of challenge now, bear with it. Have faith. The expression 'the only way is through' is true. The struggle will not last. Everything in life is only ever temporary. Things are changing all the time. You will come through and be a better person for the experience. In hindsight you will be glad. Trust me, I know.

    "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. -Napoleon Hill
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    • Profile picture of the author redsky
      Thanks for this. I am taking the first step into IM . I have been reading so many ebooks and campaigns and its not really going anywhere. I like reading up Mind Warriors and your advice really propels me. Thank you .
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  • Thanks for sharing!
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  • Profile picture of the author Net 700
    You're losing everything everyday by not taking advantage of existing opportunities.

    You routinely buy into everything I spout. Flwm@
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  • Profile picture of the author jw22777
    That's right brother. You have no idea how many people you just inspired by writing this heartfilled message. Much success to you man!
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