How Do You Handle the Negative People?

by eguinan

Posted: 13 years ago 18 replies

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

We all have at least one person in our life that likes to tell us the reasons something cannot work. Internet Marketers tend to be creative thinkers and see the possibilities. Not everyone looks at the world this way.

I learned a few years ago that I just don't have to discuss my dreams, goals and projects with every person that I meet. I LOVE this creative side of my life. I don't need anyone's approval.

It was hard when I first started. I was "unemployed", but staying up all night with online projects. I heard quite a bit of negative talk from my family. My mother didn't see it as work and really wanted me to just get a regular job like everyone else.

I did struggle for a while and I did take day jobs to pay the bills. I am totally self supporting now. In fact, my boys and I are taking a month long vacation overseas this summer. It's not that I am that impressed with where I am. I am impressed with how much my life has changed. I like who I have become. If I had listened to the naysayers, I wouldn't be here right now.

My solution was distancing myself from the people who wanted me to get my head out of the clouds. I stopped casting my pearls before swine. Boundaries, I suppose.

I want to hear how other Internet Marketers have dealt with negative talking people.

#attitude #family #friends #handle #naysayers #negative

excoder01 13 years ago

Love your family, but learn to choose how you react to external criticism.

That's how I deal with it.

After all, if the negative people are your close family, sometimes you don't have a choice in getting away from them physically.

But you're responsible for how you feel or react to them. No one can make you angry or lose motivation with your own consent.
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- Just Evan 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by excoder01
  
  But you're responsible for how you feel or react to them. No one can make you angry or lose motivation with your own consent.
  
  I would agree.
  
  The sooner I was able to believe that I was in control of how I react and feel - the easier it was for me to defend myself against such negativity.
  
  Now I try to limit my time with negative people as much as I can though.
  
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Gary Joseph 13 years ago

Personally....most of the negative people in my life are my family. I have to find outlets to blow steam when they direct their negativity towards me.... Running is the best for me.

But I also agree with excoder01....people only annoy you if you let them annoy you. However, sometimes, family members just know EXACTLY where to press your buttons. When they do this... I replace the negative thought (and energy) with a positive one. This doesn't always work though.... Ha!
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Theresa Perez 13 years ago

Standard response: deflect. Usually with humor.

Bit if it doesn't work, then I pick on THEIR faults (there is always something there), still in a humorous way

I've had a lot of practice
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Alcon 13 years ago

I just ignore them or deflect and change the subject. It gets to a point where it becomes apparent that I'm not going to tolerate their consistent negativity
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Lori Kelly 13 years ago

Like you, I distance myself from negative people. So-called friends AND family members. I have some family members who are negative and we don't talk very often.

I make it a point to surround myself with positive people. I don't have time nor do I have much tolerance for people who are negative and/or have the attitude that they expect the worst. I stay away because this type of mindset/attitude can be contagious.
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Hobo82 13 years ago

Thanks for opening this topic for discussion, Eguinan, I for sure can relate. I get that at home from my wife. As she tells me that I have good ideas but nothing ever develops. maybe she is right, I tend to let things drag om.

I have been trying to do IM for a couple of yeard now on and off, mostly off, but last summer I made it a point to learn Wordpress and now I can create sites and now my way around, not an expert but at least I am not intimated by it.

Next I wanted to become an Amazon affiliate, I applied, got accepted and created a site, did the whole keyword research, wrote some articles, etc. No sales yet but I will not give up.

I know I need to do more to the sites but this past November I got temp job where the money is good which was needed, but sort of slowed down my IM thing. I still will fight through being tired and at time wondering what to do next to make some money.

Oh well sorry the this long post. Be well and good luck
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luane 13 years ago

I limit my contact with them ESPECIALLY when I am in a "productive mode" and it helps me to keep a positive mindset. Only interact with them in your down time when you can positively repel their negativity. Sometimes you do have to love from a distance!

Kristie from Georgia
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TheDollar 13 years ago

I just block them out and focus and think of all the successful people who have proved the doubters wrong, and then realize that if I keep it up, that will be me.
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eguinan 13 years ago

You know that is true! I love hearing stories about successful people who were criticized by people around them before they made it. Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, Darwin and Oprah come to mind. I used to have a book with little stories like that. It can hurt when you are feeling vulnerable.

I love everything that was shared. Glad to know that I'm not the only one to experience it.
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Evocess 13 years ago

Negative people are always there. Just focus on what you are doing and don't let them distract you.
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adimaxjosh 13 years ago

Well what I have felt is that the negative people will always be around you. You can't escape them. If you try to run then you can't it is not possible at all. Why?
Lets take an example:-
Suppose you conceive an idea of developing an application for smart phones as a normal human being you will first discuss it with the person whom you are most close let's say your mother, she is your well wisher but she might not have the proper knowledge of the smart phone and their utility in life she will normally tell you that "What if no one bought it?" "What if someone comes with a better idea then yours?"
And you think of running and you run to your best friend he or she will say "Your idea is definitely good but I don't think it is feasible."
So you can't run from negative people. Yes it is right that people around us or close to us may be the most negative people sometimes but the reason we find them negative is that they care for us and want to warn us from going in harm's way
thus we can conclude that negative people may not be the entirely negative, They want us to be in positive state.

The best way to deal this situation is to fuel your desire from these negative feedbacks.
What I am trying to say if someone tells you that “This can’t be done”, “This is not feasible” or “will we be successful in it? I doubt that”
Take these rejections as challenges, say to yourself in your heart that you will prove all these things wrong and divert all your energy in making the impossible possible. The motivation gained from this technique will take you to new heights.

But of course you have to work hard, think hard be persistent and consistent too to make it all possible and the you will be thank full to all these naysayers for their nos
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therenegadeleader 13 years ago

Great story! Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
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Exel 13 years ago

I try to distance myself from negative people. For some people it seems like a full-time
job to be negative, whine about everything, never do anything to improve their position
and spread negativity all around them.

For those that I come in contact with and am exposed to their negativity, I just forgive
them and move on, cause they don't know any better.
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simonf 13 years ago

I can very much relate to folks who've had to put up with family members (and others) who just don't 'get it'. I've found the Sedona Method and the Option Method invaluable for letting go of the negative energy that these people stir up. What's more, you can learn them for free - just google for the OM or do a search on Y-Tube for SM.
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opportunist86 13 years ago

Self control. They only weapon I have to react perfectly and setting up win-win situation.
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- serpentlove 13 years ago
  
  Lol...I couldn't help but lol when I saw the post title. Unfortunately, like so many others, my family runs the show on this one.
  
  I'm finally learning what the problem is. A good friend told me about chickens and eagles. Chickens are usually the negative people who love to tell you why something will never work. Eagles, like you said, are like the internet marketers who are creative. In order words, we are the out-of-the-box thinkers. Chickens don't get us and we don't get them.
  
  Unfortunately, like another good friend said to me, chickens are like fleas; they're everywhere. We just have to ignore them, stay focused and hope to meet more eagles.
  
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wadboram 13 years ago

Sometimes I meet people not knowing what really I'm doing and they can't even think that I can make money online. It's better to handle things the smart way as I have been through destructive criticism from newbies and ignorants.
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How Do You Handle the Negative People?

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