Become selfish to become generous

Eveything is needed. Sometimes you got to be selfish to achieve something. If you always think about people, then it's hard. I do not say that you don't have to care about people. I think the best way to describe is, sometimes you need to do more for yourself than others..

Well, when you are very focused someone will say that you are selfish.. I've had it like that...

I gotta second that....being focused is a lot different than being selfish. My wife and I get into sometimes b/c I pick up an extra 30 minutes in the day and I used it more often than not to work on a project that will ultimately help US as a couple. She would call my actions selfish, I would call them focused.

There's a certain truth and logic. Another way to look at it is the scenario of the "oxygen mask on mid-air crisis". First save yourself before you attempt to save others.

Absolutely. Balance is important. A person my be considered selfish by other people when they're focused and determined on their goals however if what they're doing is to benefit other people then there's nothing wrong with it.

You don't have to be selfish to become generous. It would be more accurate to say: "Become generous to become successful." One of the reasons why many people fail in Internet Marketing (as far as I can tell) is because they're too concerned with themselves.

The best way to help someone up is to get "up" first. Another way to look at it is to help others up as you are helping yourself.

If your learning is too protracted before you start to help then you might truly be considered selfish in keeping some things to yourself that could have helped others along the way.

So learn and grow but reach back quickly and see who wants to come along with you.

If you read a great book about something that enriches your life, you don't need to finish the book, create a company make a million dollars, then help.

Share the title of the book or buy some for your friends and pass it along quickly.

Very wise advise along that line how do you keep others from distracting you I find that to be one of the hardest things to do when I'm trying to stay focused on something. I do turn my phone off at those times but that doesn't stop family members from knocking on my door while I'm trying to work. I hate to be rude and tell them to go away. Maybe I should just put a 'do not disturb' sign on my door.

Sometimes it's very difficult to get one's concentration back once one has been distracted.

So true. It is all about choices one makes. And one must choose to put in the time and effort and distance themselves from certain elements to achieve more to then give more.

I really liked this thread. It gave me great insight into a topic I have asked and continue to ask myself with regard to all my actions.

Thanks.

Marcia Mercy

In order to achieve anything great you have to be selfish sometimes.

Well, if you are focused and determined to reach one goal some people WILL call you selfish. They wont like the fact that you have something more important.

Absolutely. And neither do I.

Yep. Being selfish is when you don't care enough about other people. When you're greedy and overly put yourself, your time, and your priorities above other people.

I seriously doubt anyone thought Michael Jorden was selfish just because he loved playing basketball and was committed to practicing. If anything they probably respected him.

That's not really being selfish though.

Still, good point. Certain people who are "people pleasers" should probably become more selfish and stop thinking they have to help everyone (and all that) and start putting themselves first.

Although it's catchy and gets people thinking saying that being selfish is a very loving and giving thing is a twisted way of looking at self-respect, self-love, and doing what's important to you. (Just my opinion.) Personally I don't think that's being selfish at all.

My dictionary defines "selfish" as being "concerned chiefly or only with oneself." If you've ever met someone who is concerned with themselves too much--which is basically what it means--you'll know that they're not very likeable at all.

Think of the people you admire and respect in business and in life--would you call them selfish? I wouldn't. I've never heard anyone say "I like and respect that person because they're selfish."

And I don't think it's a good idea to look at it as being selfish. Because the words we use to describe ourselves and our behaviour are important. Saying "I'm going to put myself first today and do what's best for me while helping others where I can" is a much more healthy way of looking at things.

Indeed!

In IM, of course, we need to learn first ourselves before we can share helpful insights to others.