This is something so personal, that I have never told any of my friends, it took me months to tell my girlfriend, and I've almost never talked about it in my entire life.
My name is Justin Lewis and I have gynecomastia.
Gynecomastia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Throughout my childhood I tried to hide it, even going to the point of using duct tape to hide it. I got so depressed that I myself considered suicide multiple times due to bullying.
Heck, I remember I would start panicking when the gym teacher told me to change my clothes in the gym locker room... I felt so embarrassed that I didn't tell anyone and failed gym class nearly 3 times. It's also another reason I did so poorly in high school. I would stress out everywhere I went and just wonder who was looking at me or laughing at me.
I just want to state, that in my adulthood (I'm now 23) I now own multiple businesses, have become a fairly popular personality online, and I've turned into the person that I truly feel is who I'm supposed to be... And I feel that gynecomastia had a huge impact on my life.
Even though I was ashamed of myself and I still don't feel so comfortable with it, it's morphed me into the man that I am today.
Thanks again for allowing me to express something that has been hidden inside of my mind for years.
P.S. I read this thread and just couldn't bare hiding it anymore.. suicide..
I felt like sharing even more about this.. just because it's haunted me my entire life.
In today's society we are pushed into wanting to be perfect, we are terrified of being different, we even go to extreme's to fit in with the crowd.
Well you know what, screw the crowd. I can't do it any longer.
This is my moment.
Just like the man in the article I shared previously, I taped my chest just so that I wouldn't have to worry about fitting in. It got so bad that I almost died. I had SERIOUS chest problems and because of this, I have developed what seem to be heart/chest/muscle problems.
To think that something so small could cause such a dramatic impact is astonishing to me. I don't hate myself, but I did. I felt so ashamed of my body that I wouldn't play sports, go to the beach, swim in pools, talk to girls, and even got to the point many times where I felt like committing suicide because of being bullied.
I NEVER want anyone else to go to that point in their lives, no matter the situation and I want to say right now, that life gets better. Just because you are faced with obstacles, doesn't mean you can't overcome them. They may seem pretty huge. But at the end of the day, if you have a roof over your head (even if that's in a car like I was in 2008), you're doing a lot better than millions of people in the world.
It's a cruel world.. I've hidden from it since I was 13.
I'm not hiding anymore.
This is who I am and I don't want to be anyone else. Take it or leave it.
For anyone out there that's interested. I attend the Out of the Darkness walks each year in Virginia Beach, Virginia. If you ever want to join me, you are absolutely welcome to. My brother Jonathan actually committed suicide in 2008, knowing this my "likelihood" of committing suicide are greatly increased. I have no intention of ever allowing myself to go down that path again and really do love my life and everyone that's apart of my life and I don't want to see anyone else around me faced with the same situation.
AFSP Out of the Darkness Community Walk - DonorDrive®
EDIT: I shared this with my friends, family, subscribers, followers, fans, and everyone else. I want to wake up tomorrow.. free. Thanks.