what is the secret of marital bliss?

by fadorg
101 replies
Looking all around we see a lot of people who are inflamed in passion and after a while they end up in mariage. whaoo...

The honey moon was great ...

Then afterward the passion wane,then they seek to separate. Then the question is: is there a secret to marital bliss?

Pls share your veiws

Thanks
Joy
#bliss #marital #secret
  • Profile picture of the author JDSalinger
    Hi fadorg,

    If I was to be funny, I would say the answer to your question is to avoid it and you would have your marriage bliss. However, if I were to be honest, I heard something that someone said about marriage bliss which is it's really about learning to love your spouse more and more with each passing day and do it unconditionally. When you think about it, this can be a very challenging thing and, I think most people don't enter into marriage really thinking about it in these terms. I think if you can learn to keep your own selfish interests in check, you stand a far greater chance at realizing this goal for your marriage.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[633957].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author wangui
      I like your suggestion. I think it can work miracles. You can imagine if both parties did that.
      Signature

      Motivational Public Speaker and Writer.
      www.wamaitha.com

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6269561].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author studygm
    You have to be able to find bliss in the worst of circumstances. Blessings are often disguised as things that not not entirely sound like blessings. People who learn to appreciate the finer things in life would be able to find marital bliss as well.
    Signature

    Cool tips and articles exclusively on
    www.blog.studygrandmaster.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[634100].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jayden.fellze
    Marriage is also like a job, you need to put an effort and invest time, likewise, it is also very important to to always put God in the center of everything.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[634191].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BizBooks
    give as much as you can, don't expect anything in return.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[636683].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author pluto1
      Some very wise words have already been said. Marriage is an institution, you should enter into it if you are ready to sacrifice, compromise, adjust and give lots of love. Do not expect anything in return. Marriage will last lifetime. For real lovers, honeymoon period never ends.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[637025].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ElaineBaker
      Originally Posted by BizBooks View Post

      give as much as you can, don't expect anything in return.
      So true.....
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[637858].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Chika Nwoko
    I read a chinese saying once that said. The kind of woman that you want to marry is one that you would have no problem driving in a car for 400 miles. If you are still speaking at the end of the journey, then it's a safe bet that you will get along. But alas, marital bliss takes a lot of tolerance. Each person has to keep rediscovering themselves.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[637419].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author robertstr
    Hi all!
    I think the secrets of marital bliss are:

    1. Kisses should always be wet and sloppy.
    2. Husbands should limit vocabulary to "Woof!"
    3. Being ignored is not an option. Scream, whine, bark and paw until your husband pays attention.
    4. Obedience is a good thing.
    5. Good grooming is an asset.
    6. If you stare at your husband long enough, eventually you'll get your way.
    7. With unconditional love, you can hope for at least a 10- to 15-year life expectancy.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[637479].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author billbarrett
    I don't know the general secrets of marital bliss, but here is my list:

    1. Communication
    2. Tolerance
    3. Care for the partner
    4. Fun
    5. Passion
    6. New things and activities TOGETHER
    7. ... you name it ... )
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[637805].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kim Davis
    Get up each morning and say to yourself, "what can I do today to help my partner have a brighter day".
    If you get respectful reactions to things you say to your partner, you will feel safe to talk about anything.
    Instead of complaining about what your partner isn't doing, start asking repectfully, for what you want them to do
    Men like to feel needed and women like to feel heard.
    If you say to a man, "would you please do me a favor, or can you please help me with this" they are more apt to do it because they want to be your Knight in shining armor
    For men, acknowledge what your partner said, you don't need to fix it, just acknowledge
    These points will surely help
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[637844].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ElaineBaker
      Originally Posted by Kim Davis View Post

      Get up each morning and say to yourself, "what can I do today to help my partner have a brighter day".
      If you get respectful reactions to things you say to your partner, you will feel safe to talk about anything.
      Instead of complaining about what your partner isn't doing, start asking repectfully, for what you want them to do
      Men like to feel needed and women like to feel heard.
      If you say to a man, "would you please do me a favor, or can you please help me with this" they are more apt to do it because they want to be your Knight in shining armor
      For men, acknowledge what your partner said, you don't need to fix it, just acknowledge
      These points will surely help
      Certainly men like to feel needed but women do to....

      Always make sure any idea/chore/favor that is yours/you want - phrase it to make out that it's his - whatever it is - you'll soon get things done
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[637862].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    Tanks so much for all your input,infact i dont know how to put this but you had all said a lot of things that are helpful.
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638152].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    But if i may ask, can't there be like one or two principles to marriage bliss?
    You know like everyone knows tha love is a must in marriage,which other one can be 2nd principle to marriage bliss?

    Appreciate your views
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638169].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Samsmiles
    I'm coming up for my 39th wedding anniversary. The secret- always admit you were wrong, (even if you weren't!).

    prosperity!

    samsmiles
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638377].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author TE2
      The first thing that came to mind is...

      "Tolerance"

      Giving it more thought - something philosophical:


      Love is giving freely, expecting nothing in return.

      - Mary Carson




      Regards,

      John

      ps - It really is about putting the other person first. This is really driven home when kids are added to the family mix.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638425].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author fadorg
      Originally Posted by Samsmiles View Post

      I'm coming up for my 39th wedding anniversary. The secret- always admit you were wrong, (even if you weren't!).

      prosperity!

      samsmiles
      Am happy for you man, you must really be an happy man! Happy anniversary man
      Signature

      You can only if you beleive in yourself
      www.joyakinlolu.com

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638565].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author jamesviago
      Originally Posted by Samsmiles View Post

      I'm coming up for my 39th wedding anniversary. The secret- always admit you were wrong, (even if you weren't!).

      prosperity!

      samsmiles
      only 22 years for me - my version is "She'll be right. She is right. She was right." it's worked so far
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[646585].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author SandyDuPlessis
        Having been married for 36 years and having friends who have been married for almost the same length of time, I am inclined to say that "bliss" is not really the right word. After all, a simple thing such as an unpleasant illness will likely damage that "bliss" even though it may be for a short while.

        Having said that, the art is in giving what you want to receive without demanding a return.

        Give trust
        Give love
        Give encouragement
        Give moments of laughter
        Give empathy
        Give courage
        Give hope
        Give support
        Give your ears so that you can truly listen
        Give your mouth so you can communicate without hurt
        Give ...

        Look at at your life together as a challenge that you must face together. At times you will need to stand shoulder to shoulder facing and defeating the challenges and at other times you will need to stand back to back in order to protect one another from the various problems that may surround you.

        There will be times when you find that your partner in life has fallen and that is when you need to be strongest. That is the time when you will have to stand tall and protect both of you, be you a man or a woman.

        The bliss and harmony come in your later years after have have faced whatever life has thrown at you and are still able to stand together and say to each other that no matter what has happened and no matter what may happen you are still able to love, honor and respect one another and you will continue to do whatever is necessary to protect your marriage.

        Sandy
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[648955].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author SOT
        The secrets to marital bliss? Don't know as I don't have a blissful marriage. LOL. I DO however, have a successful marriage. We argue, clear the air, make up. We built the marriage on friendship as well as lust and in almost 19 years (Really that long?!) it's got a rock solid foundation. What make marriage successful? - view it as WIP. Work at it. Don't take it for granted. Marriage is not the same as wedding. Wedding happened just one day. Marriage is continuous, ongoing, for life. Friendship, respect, appreciation are key. And communicate - really communicate - I have to practically back my husband into a corner and force him to tell me what's really up sometimes as he's so good at misplaced anger. I think some people must enter marriage thinking "if all goes wrong I can always get a divorce". That is the way to a divorce.

        Well that's my two cents worth!

        Cheers!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[674264].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author wangui
          I agree with you totally. That is the way to a successful relationship in a nutshell.
          Signature

          Motivational Public Speaker and Writer.
          www.wamaitha.com

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6269620].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author swilliams09
        Originally Posted by jamesviago View Post

        only 22 years for me - my version is "She'll be right. She is right. She was right." it's worked so far
        Wow. I wouldn't trust most of the women I know to be right, most of them I have dated have been completely wrong about their own lives, much less about mine. When I was with my ex, everything she wanted to do only led to more chaos. This only applies to very smart women who have their act together.

        The best thing I could say is never stop being the man. Never stop leading. Never back down when you know you are doing the right thing for your family. Take advice and consider it, but in the end make the best decision for everyone. Be proactive in every aspect of your relationship. From the bedroom to the finances to the children. Be the leader of your home the way God intended. A leader is responsible and gentle with his authority so don't abuse it and remember your goal is to take care of your family, not to dominate or abandon them. Stay strong, do right, and lead, don't follow.
        Signature

        Learn how to make videos that sell. Special $1 Offer for Warriors Only.

        http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...ml?view=modern

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1374682].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
          "Re: what is the secret of marital bliss?"

          Wow, what an opening line, that door is W-i-i-i-d-d-d-e open, held open by an elephant.

          I was hoping for some comedic levity here, sure bet that someone had a one-liner.

          (Sigh..)...,Not to be expected.

          Back to YouTube comedy channel.

          The 13 th Warrior
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1374820].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
          Originally Posted by swilliams09 View Post


          Wow. I wouldn't trust most of the women I know to be right, most of them I have dated have been completely wrong about their own lives, much less about mine.

          When I was with my ex, everything she wanted to do only led to more chaos.

          Highly perceptive quote here.

          The dynamics of the individual, much less two working together is unique.

          Even the one's that have that or claim of "bliss" really don't know all the factors of why it is working, they can only speculate and theorize to a large degree.

          What works for some, may not work for others, you are talking about dynamics that are unique to individuals as well as couples attempting to work in unison.

          There is a lot of wisdom in the above quote there because most individuals, by themselves, do not know themselves and what truly makes them happy.

          Most of us either settle, or like kids, always looking for something that will give us THAT "bliss" or happiness, and it usually comes up lacking or is not what we thought it would bring us i.e., types of cars, house and its style or amount of rooms, furnitue, types of women or men, body types, personality types, other stuff.

          Then , like kids, 10 minutes later, we dump the brand-new-toy in search of something else we "theorize" will fill that hole inside or give us the joy we crave.

          Most have yet to define what really truly IS happiness, most standards are by what we see on t.v. shows, movies and commercial advertising.

          Nothing to do with reality or whats natural.

          The 13 th Warrior
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1374889].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author AnneE
      Originally Posted by Samsmiles View Post

      I'm coming up for my 39th wedding anniversary. The secret- always admit you were wrong, (even if you weren't!).

      prosperity!

      samsmiles
      39 years, wow. You've got me beat by about a dozen. I'll have to try your advice. I've never actually been wrong in over 25 years of marriage.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1408625].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jenie0109
    marriage will do no good if youre still not satisfied loving only one husband or wife.. If you say "i do"..you surrender your being for the only one...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638424].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fthomas137
    After 16 years of marriage and me being home with my wife full-time for a year, here's my list, most important first:
    1. Putting God first in my marriage. Hey, I signed the contract with Him and my wife.
    2. Putting my wife before me. These girls are a strange lifeform and us guys have to really dedicate time to figure them out. Or at least avoid the pot holes!
    3. Love my wife. Don't judge her. Just love her.
    4. For the ladies, honor your husband. Nothing speaks more to a guy then being honored.
    5. Don't forget about my marriage to my wife, especially when life gets busy and seems to overtake this important commentment.

    Takes a little each and every day!

    Frank
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638441].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author koolwarrior
    Banned
    there is no secret to marital bliss, except...marry when you're broke.

    that way, if you two wanna split, neither one of you can afford a divorce lawyer to screw you over.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638581].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author energyguy
      Too many people seem to forget that when they stated their vows that they committed to love their spouse "for better or for worse"

      Recently I saw a great movie...If you are serious - the message is honest and will put marriage into better perspective for you.

      Welcome To FireproofTheMovie.com - DVD IN STORES NOW!

      (this is a straight link of course - not affiliated)
      Signature

      On Vacation

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638599].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    What about respect where do we place it remenber what they say about the Golden rule: ''Whatever you want others to do for you,do to them likewise''

    YEAH!

    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638601].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    That's honest of you HONEST!
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[638644].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BigG95
    I honestly believe, that neither a man nor a woman is designed to spent their whole lives with one and the same partner. Just MHO
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639430].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by honestbizpro View Post

      So you must plan on being a Player at the old folks home!
      {edited}

      ...
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639604].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Tinkerbell
    Joy,

    After 22 years of marriage which has not been completely blissful (there was a learning period...that lasted about 13 years, lol) I'd say there are three "keys" to a blissful marriage. 1. honest communication 2. compromise and 3. honest consideration

    Now that I think on it, I could probably write an entire guide about this, but I'll try to keep it short.

    1. Honest Communication: If you're always honest with each other, there can be no situations werein "the great misunderstanding" is encountered.

    2. Compromise: If both partners are willing to find an agreeable middle ground, there won't be power struggles. You'll both feel equal.

    3. Honest Consideration: if both partners in a marriage honestly consider the other in all things, there would be harmony.

    Tina
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639434].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author PowerWealth247
    Marry someone who will put up with you, faults and all (for any of you that have faults) and continue the courtship.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639570].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    Now i think we are getting somewhere,but can we really say their is no secret to marital bliss?

    Even as simple as riding a bicycle is,for one to be a good driver he must have the know-how, the secret. Which means that there is a secret to marital bliss
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639635].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      {Edited}

      ...
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639643].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author fadorg
        Originally Posted by ZigZag View Post

        I'm not married so I wouldn't know. However I would imagine that one of the most important "secrets" is making sure you marry the right person to begin with.
        Better for you Zig at least you've got time to learn the ropes before you join the line
        Signature

        You can only if you beleive in yourself
        www.joyakinlolu.com

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639695].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jay Moreno
    we take each other for who we are faults an all - and respect and trust each other completely, my wife is my best friend!

    we are expecting our 2nd baby this time a lil girl in about 3 weeks after what has been a rollercoaster pregnancy!

    Cant wait!
    Signature
    Sorry, I am too busy helping people to think of a cool signature!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639658].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Hey congratulations Ukescuba.
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639688].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Jay Moreno
        Originally Posted by ZigZag View Post

        Hey congratulations Ukescuba. Always good to hear something like that. When I finally decide to settle down I'd like to think I'd have that kind of relationship too. Because it sounds generally blissful.

        took me 34 years and living in 4 different countries to find her and figure out the time is right to settle down though! LOL

        we have our moments just like everyone else but we really do have a blast together!

        I wish you luck and you will know when its time!
        Signature
        Sorry, I am too busy helping people to think of a cool signature!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639737].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jamsferguson
    I don't think there ia "a" secret to marital bliss. Maybe dozens of secrets, some of them applying to couples of one type and not another. Each marriage is made up of two people, each with their own personalities and psychologies. They are going to fit together differently than other couples do.
    There are several post about that say "put God first". I haven't got a clue what they are talking about. They are probably wondering how I could not know what they are talking about. Their "secret" isn't going to work for me.

    What works for you? what do you want/expect out of marriage? Find someone who you are compatible with in terms of expectations.

    Katharine Hepburn: Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door, and just visit now and then.
    Jim
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[639709].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    i wish u luck too zig
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[643266].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author JIN MA
      Understanding is very important. That way when your spouse gets on your nerve it won't be unexpected.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[643279].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      [DELETED]
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[643899].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author fadorg
        Originally Posted by ZigZag View Post

        Thanks guys. I'm sure I'll get married one day.
        I hope you will give an open invitation to us all when you are set? Right?
        Signature

        You can only if you beleive in yourself
        www.joyakinlolu.com

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[644998].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    a good one there Jin
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[643386].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    No problem Zig we will gladly be your guest there! Wishing you happy marriage life in advance!
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[645104].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    That a good one there 7digital,infact i'll have to say thank you.
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[647785].message }}
  • 1. Take time to communicate from your hearts, everyday, with no other distractions.
    2. Be in integrity with yourself and your spouse.
    3. Commit everyday to love and appreciate your partner and find ways to demonstate this to him/her.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[647881].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Herricks
      Originally Posted by ManifestingWellBeing View Post

      1. Take time to communicate from your hearts, everyday, with no other distractions.
      2. Be in integrity with yourself and your spouse.
      3. Commit everyday to love and appreciate your partner and find ways to demonstate this to him/her.

      I'm ont married but in a relationship w/ bf for almost two years and I can tell you the above is totally true. We follow those rules in our relationship, even though we don't live with each other and we are a much happier couple than some of our friends who are married or living together and unable to communicate honestly with each other.

      In order to communicate honestly, you have to be honest with yourself in your thoughs and actions and be honest with each other. This takes work, a lifetime of work but if you want your relationship to work, you each ahve to commit to the job and work at it. And build your trust from this honesty. From there, everything, even bumps in the road along the way, you can overcome together. This has brought us closer to each other and our friendship has grown to love in more ways than people can generally describe it to be.

      Good luck to all couples out there.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[672216].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    Now am sure anyone can get married and live happily ever after
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[648702].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author enterpryzman
    This may sound crazy but, I have learned that " Bliss " can be defined in many ways. That is the first question you need to ask yourself, what does it mean to you.

    As for us, we have been best friends for 30 years, been married to others and divorced. We found that what we needing in companions we had in our friendship which led us to get married 12 years ago.

    A big thing is you must like yourself of you can never love nyone else the way you need to do in order for it to work. That having been said, you MUST be willing to set your needs completely asside when needed by your spouse.

    My wife, is 42 and seen in my picture with me. This was taken last month when we traveled to Switzerland for her to have possible life extending treatments for Pancreatic Cancer. She was diagnosed 4 years ago with stage 4, non-operable.

    We are happy, in love, and want to be together forever but, we understand what we are faced with.....I guess I think the main thing needed to stay married is the continued ability to be forever variable and felxible in what you actually need and can give.

    For me, I am my happiest when I can give everything in some way that helps Sherrie see or do something she may never get to do again, and I know she loved every bit of it.....brings a deep smile, watch the eyes...they are the window.

    Sorry to ramble, I just think being Married to your absolute best friend and most trusted person on earth is something everyone should get yet so very few every do.


    Peace to you all,
    Michael
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[649202].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author markcarraway
    Im curious Joy, are you researching an article here?
    Signature

    Quality PLR Content Solutions
    www.plrarticlepros.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[649216].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author fadorg
    Mark i think i am learning here, that part of what a forum is...right?
    Signature

    You can only if you beleive in yourself
    www.joyakinlolu.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[656251].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DirectoryKing
    Just act as though the other sex is your best friend.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[661257].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author LeeWise
    I would probably rephrase to "harmony," but here's one that
    we have suggested to many young people (63 year old here,
    married 40 years):

    Strive to win as a team. By way of example, strive to
    win as a couple during disagreements and not just
    win as an individual.

    Another one would be: honor and promote the individual
    strengths and desires of the other person. Seek for ways
    to complement and encourage each other's expression of
    what they value and who they want to become.

    Build each other up with encouraging words. Watch the
    words: wrong words can kill.

    Ask forgiveness when necessary and, of course, forgive.

    And from the husband's perspective, spend your lifetime
    cherishing your wife.

    Just a few thoughts...

    Lee
    Signature

    A Beautiful Moment In Time" Treasuring all of life for all the right reasons." (Lee Wise)

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[670103].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Herricks
      Originally Posted by LeeWise View Post

      I would probably rephrase to "harmony," but here's one that
      we have suggested to many young people (63 year old here,
      married 40 years):

      Strive to win as a team. By way of example, strive to
      win as a couple during disagreements and not just
      win as an individual.

      Another one would be: honor and promote the individual
      strengths and desires of the other person. Seek for ways
      to complement and encourage each other's expression of
      what they value and who they want to become.

      Build each other up with encouraging words. Watch the
      words: wrong words can kill.

      Ask forgiveness when necessary and, of course, forgive.

      And from the husband's perspective, spend your lifetime
      cherishing your wife.

      Just a few thoughts...

      Lee

      Wow, Lee, that's really everything in a nutshell...couldn't have phrased it any better! I definitely will pass that onto my boyfriend even though he's halfway there...it couldn't hurt (at least I hope not.)
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[672226].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        I think one of the secrets of marital bliss is being kind and loving each other.
        Signature
        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[672243].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Herricks
          Originally Posted by ZigZag View Post

          I think one of the secrets of marital bliss is being kind...

          Kindness: You'll go a long way with this in mind...it's funny how tone of voice plays such a role in communicating effectively and making sure your message is reciprocated correctly.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[672407].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author tanya7zhou
            Marriage has phases. The old adage says, "To everything there is a season and a time for everything"

            So tolerate one another, bare with one another and MAKE SURE you check yourself when you begin to be too critical of your partner, most cases it is everything to do with you and you don't know it.

            Stop looking at the splinter in someone's eyes when there is a log in your eye!

            So love unconditionally and appreciate any weaknesses your partner has and help them to grow!
            Signature

            It's not over until it is Over!

            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[672535].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Smith
    i think the key to any relationshiup is true trust and unconditional loyalty!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[676935].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Smith
    and communication!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[676939].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author theimgroup
    Communication and Honesty and spice. Plain and simple. Keep the excitement alive. I've been with my wife 12 years and we still act like we are dating.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1037571].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Shana_Adam
    OK a relationship is a synergistic living form of energy.

    Treat any relationship like a human being that has wants and needs.

    A relationship needs A-I-D-A

    Also like anything in life you get back what you put into it! The more you give the more you receive.

    Phase space the relationship look at it from first, second and third person view so you can better deliver on solutions to problems and issues.

    Top tips
    never hold a grudge
    Be open and honest
    find out what the persons good intention is ie if they are angry at you for not doing the dishes

    not doing dishes mans > they don't like a dirty environment > meaning they cant concentrate
    if the dishes are done> they have a clean environment> hence they can relax> means they have peace

    So their good intention was that they wanted peace! And they had no intention of nagging you and trying to control you or all the millions of different answers our mind will suggest
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1040780].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author wisecrone333
    Being married three times (third time a charm, coming up ten years) I would have to say that the "secret" if there is one is to work on your marriage every day - my hubby and I went through a lot of grief when we first got together thanks to exes and the like, and the children (we had three each) but now they have all grown and left home (at least temporarily) and we find outselves here together, just the two of us, well it was what we had spent all that time working towards.

    The other secret we have is that I am the boss in the house, but only because he lets me be - basically we accept each other exactly as we are, don't try to change each other, and both us work on this (our relationship) every day. If you are considering spending any long term time span with a partner you have to firstly want to be with the person rather than need to be; and you have to know that the things about your partner that annoy you are something you are going to have to accept - if you can do that, you have a winning formula

    My two cents worth
    Lisa
    Signature
    Hire me to write your ebooks - Warriors get a discount: just check out the blog below for more details.
    Gran's tackling the world of IM - check out the blog here
    Understanding domestic violence, writing a book in just 8 hours and more can be found here
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1041524].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author David Chambless
    3 tips.

    1. Remember that when you say "till death do us part," your setting a goal.

    2. They are going to be times that about all you do is work on staying married. And it's going to be hard work.

    3. Always be the adult in the relationship, especially when the spouse is acting 10!

    Married 29 years to the same woman. Seems like 3 or 4 months!

    David
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1041607].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author John M Kane
    I feel marital bliss is a rare thing today.
    MHO only from observing life.

    With most movies plot lines about infidelity, murder,mayhem, or worse
    respect of any kind towards others is rare in the media.
    And the news making extra effort to keep the sheeple scared sh*tless, the stress is almost unbearable.
    We become like the people we hang with and the books we read and the movies we watch.
    With danger of getting banned I say a Godless society manifests itself pretty much like what we have today.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1041717].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
      Originally Posted by John M Kane View Post

      With danger of getting banned I say a Godless society manifests itself pretty much like what we have today.
      First of all, we are so far from being Godless it isn't funny considering we're in the Silicon Age. You might want to check the studies on the "Godless" Europeans who have less murder and crime rates than the God-fearing U.S.ians. (Now that's a hot enigma wrapped in a warm tasty conundrum for all to chew on.)

      Secondly, I'm Godless (and don't believe in any of the 2,500 plus Gods in recorded history) and have been married (happily) for over 3 decades.
      Signature

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1375106].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author casestudykev
    90% finding the right person for you (this rarely happens)
    10% healthy relationship stuff i.e. doing projects together
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1044421].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Gregg Cleland
      One partner sex kills (a lot of) relationships.

      People have touched on a lot of common things but the one that stands out for me is sexual variety. Jeez, I could write pages about this, but it's unnatural to expect a person to only have sexual relations with one person for the rest of their lives. People have an in-built need for variety. You can have a really nice meal, but would you want to eat that for dinner for the next week?

      I live with my absolutely awesome fiance. I'm not interested in sneaking around behind her back so I told her straight about the importance of sexual variety. She's happy for me to have a bit of rough, and if she wasn't I wouldn't be with her. But the best thing is that by me getting that variety, we have better sex more often. Win-win.

      Oh, and since starting that arrangement I personally feel about 15 years younger. I'm pretty sure that being sexually constrained makes people age rapidly. Can you see any evidence of that around you?

      I read a while back that swinging couples have a much lower divorce rate. Can you see why? Variety maintains interest. Remove 'cheating' from the divorce rate and it'd be pretty reasonable, lol.

      Food for thought.
      Signature

      Please read the sig file rules

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1051961].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author birdfood
    My first reaction when I saw this thread title was "great product, what is the market like"

    I'd pay good money for a good product that really does help you with marital bliss.
    Signature

    Marketing Laser Glasses

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1054326].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author mrsmaxxx
    I am very fortunate to have this kind of relationship with my husband of 16+ years. We both allow each other to go for our dreams and encourage each other. When mistakes are made we never get negative but say it was a learning experience and move on. We are still Best Friends and share nearly everything with each other and yet allow for each others privacy. We are, after all, 2 individuals who are choosing to become one.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1374567].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mr Money Maker
    People who love each other keep the romance always....it's also give and take, and sharing with each other. NO one should be number 1 in a marriage, but both should be equal.....and if you love someone enough then you care enough to always give the other person a chance to feel important and wonderful daily....it's not something you do once a day..but all day long
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1376159].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
      Here's another thing.

      Not everyone should be married.

      Not everyone should be a brain surgeon.

      Look around, how many relatives, friends, associates and casual passersby have you seen that you would bet should definitely NOT have children?

      Because something is desired, does not necessarily mean it is a need or that we should have it or aspire to seek it.

      The 13 th Warrior
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1380075].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
        Look at sports.

        How many owners for how many years spent money and changed personnel to get that one team ,players, coaches, managers to all gel with the proper chemistry to win that Championship?

        All-Star players with Hall of Fame skills assembled together on a team does not mean they will work well together to win the championship, check owners who tried to do that and failed miserably.

        Working in unison for the equal fulfillment of all involved is a delicate , balanced, measured thing.

        The 13 th Warrior
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1380091].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Sandycmy
    The main problem for Divorce is --- Marriage ! LOL.

    Exposure is the key -- to find the right person ( Mutual) -- and you got to earn it !

    Still looking for an Average Lovely Girl .....................
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1380175].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mike Murphy
    A big one I recently uncovered (at a seminar with my wife no less) was realizing the differences between your personalities and then using the differences to your advantage as a couple.

    Wife and I are total opposites in some ways. She's the passive, nurturing type and I'm the driven "just quit whining and get it done" kind of person.

    Really knowing the other persons personality type and keeping it in the front of your mind when you speak to them is EXTREMELY important.

    She could walk up to me and say "you've got 10 articles to write and a website to build...get in your office and get 'er done!" and I'd be fine with that.

    She would have to be spoken to a lot nicer and more carefully to get the desired results out of her. Totally fine of course, but super important to know.

    That was the most life impacting and important seminar I've ever been to.

    Best of luck to you.

    Mike
    Signature
    Guitar PLR - New MONSTER Guitar Video PLR Pack![LIMITED]
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1385408].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author moneycoach123
    First of all you have to marry a friend or somebody that you genuinely enjoy spending time with. Agree to never argue over petty stuff like financial matters. Take time to be apart and enjoy the time you are together. Go out on dates and always respect that person...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1385834].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dolphin
    Very interesting thread.
    I've been married twelve years, with her for a total of 17 years. We went into a major decline with a geographic move that upset our economics, lifestyle and social networks. No harm done but the relationship went through quite a bit of turmoil that seemed insurmountable in the face of other challenges.
    I tend to look for bodies of knowledge that seem to speak to my situation and see if they feel grounded, have integrity and match with what I know about the real world.
    One of these sources is a website called reuniting dot info.
    The short translation is that the author has done a study of the mating/procreative process in mammals and compared that to the bonding cycle found in a few mammal species and especially in humans. Her thesis is that procreative sexual pursuit works at cross-purposes to the bonding cycle. In other words, your genes would rather you find new partners and mate with them, and it ensures this by giving you a big dose of anti-sex brain chemicals whenever you do the nasty with a partner, really orgasm not just sex. Her books and website are all about harmonizing the procreative genetic urge with the bonding one in order to form lasting unions. My partner and I have found the information really helpful. She grounds it in biological research and also in ancient practices, so it covers a lot of ground.
    Secondly, the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz lays out a relationship with reality that can help change any relationship for the better. It has for me, though it's more of a long term project.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1388179].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Coach Ramy
    Ask yourself everyday, What can I give to this relation-ship to make it a better and happier one?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1388307].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author hughdeburgh
    I read once that there are essentially two levels of need for a relationship to have a good chance to last.

    First, the partner's basic animal needs must be met. That means that if the sex and the finances don't work, the relationship will probably fail. These are generally hard rules to get around.

    Second, if those two basic needs are satisfied, then all of the other fine recommendations made here come into play - respect, never taking other for granted, understanding and doing your best to meet their needs, and the ability to have fun together. I saw a quote on a movie that said you should pick a partner that you'd want to be in a foxhole with - in other words, someone who you'd trust with your life. I think that is good advice too.

    Women sometimes need to remember their marriage after the kids come. Men need to respect and keep courting their wives throughout marriage.

    Keep the excitement. Add variety to your life constantly. Keep growing as a person and celebrate and encourage your partner's growth steps as well.

    I'm on 12 years now, and we still work at it.

    Good luck to everyone!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1400333].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Dan Klatt
    Time away is the secret. I realize in a marriage the man and woman usually live together and that's what people expect. I've been with my girlfriend 9 years, 8 months, and it's still heart-warming, endearing and fantastic - because we live apart and have lives apart from each other.

    From a more practical point for married people, I would modify that to "alone time", knowing that's quite different from time away.

    Warmly,
    Dan
    Signature

    Has Think and Grow Rich FAILED YOU, TOO? I need your help promoting my THREE new high-ticket "Authentic Wealth" products for big bucks and big impact

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1400417].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author wangui
      I don't think you can equate a relationship with a girl friend to marriage. Marriage there is a lot more at stake and more commitment required. Teh challenges in a marriage are meant to build you both into a stronger team not to break you and there is no way you can solve issues when you are miles apart. So staying apart I don't think is a good idea.
      Signature

      Motivational Public Speaker and Writer.
      www.wamaitha.com

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6269587].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author housefinder
    Consider your spouse better than yourself in order to meet his or her needs.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1400549].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Henry Blignaut
    Hello, I have been married for 16 years without any regrets. The secret to marital bliss is respect your wife, and a very important factor is communication. If something bothers you, discuss the problem. Sometimes you have a heated argument, Never hit or get physical with your wife. She will definitely lose respect for you. Always treat your wife with little gifts and surprises. It does not have to be expensive, the cliche: " it's the thought that counts." It is very true. And never forget to tell her that you love her every day.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1403192].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author homenotion
    I don't think any marriage or relationship has total bliss. That's not realistic and if you're looking for that it could be a let down. There are always going to be low spots and troubles but for the most part if you respect your partner, show them love and support You'll get through those low spots.

    I do think that personalities have a lot to do with it. A selfish person that has no interest in anything but what 'they' want will bring trouble to the relationship. If you're married to someone that's fine with that, you're good, but most people will get tired of that eventually.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1409654].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author rcjcal09
    Communication and listening to each other.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1409813].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author bobsstuff
      I think that the key to a loving and lasting relationship is
      being best friends. Who in the world would you rather spend time
      with than your best friend? When your best friend is your
      spouse, you have have all it takes to enjoy a blissful
      relationship.

      Years ago my wife and I found a saying that fits us perfectly,
      "Being married to you means my best friend is always there".

      I would rather spend time with my wife more than any other
      person in the world.

      Since 1995, when I got downsized, we have had our own business
      and have worked and been together close to 24/7. GREAT! Imagine
      spending that much time with your best friend. Neither of us
      function as well when the other is away.

      We have been married 42 years and are still going strong!
      Best Friends!
      Signature
      Bob Hale
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1410703].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author wangui
        I am sure that did not come automatically but you both put in work to make your relationship as it is now. There is no happy marriage without commitment to making it work no matter what.
        Signature

        Motivational Public Speaker and Writer.
        www.wamaitha.com

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6269572].message }}
  • The marriage will automatically come into our lives is not looking or planned.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6268632].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dee4d
    I also agree, put God first, use the principles of the word of God, and the other things will work out when this is the basis.
    Signature
    Stay Healthy all your Life, and Avoid Lifesty Diseases Later in Life. Enjoy life to the fullest.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6270087].message }}

Trending Topics