"Fear of succeeding"

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Many people develop a "fear of succeeding" when it comes to Internet Marketing. I used to be this way and I have now started to overcome this by enforcing confidence in myself.

A great question to ask is "what will help/fix my current obstacle?" Of course this can be as complicated as we need to make it and complete books have been written on the subject. However, this is what I have found useful...

First off, I personally have to write things down so my unconscious can get involved. Make a list of EVERY excuse you've ever used for not succeeding, make another list on how you can become an expert in solving these issues and confront them ASAP.

The one thing that becomes apparent is we often want to hold on to these things because it's a built in excuse for not succeeding. This is where it's tricky because we have to let go of things that comfort us in an articicial way (ex. caffeine, nicoteine, alcohol, laziness, junk food, lack of excersise, lack of study, lack of desire to improve mentally, physically, spiritually, socially, financially, emotionally, etc..)

We all have our challenges, and we MUST find a way to become solution-oriented if we truly want to change negative behaviors. And yes, it's easier said than done. However, someone is doing it Today, Right Now! Ask yourself "what would happen if it were me?" and then ask "what's preventing me from doing it today (right now)?"

This will help you figure out what you need to do, and "action speaks louder than words". The key is to trigger what needs to happen to motivate the action. This becomes your "new challenge" but the great news is that the rest (including your success) will take care of itself.

I am very happy to have found WF recently. And thank you to everyone on WF who has helped me to derive my personal theories in order to succeed. I look forward to continue to build my online marketing business and learning and sharing with you.
#mind warriors #confidence #fear of succeeding #motivation
  • Maybe you have to read this thread
    http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...ey-online.html
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    Welcome to the forum OP. Since you are probably not aware, you posted this in the wrong section of the forum. Should be here >Mind Warriors - Success, Power, Self-Improvement

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  • Success equals more responsibilities.
  • Thanks theory, still getting used to WF.
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    That's news to me. Never heard of anyone scared of succeeding before. That's the whole point of starting a business.

    A fear of failure, yes. A fear of inadequacy, yes. A fear of success, no.
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    • It seems odd, but there are some people that are scared of success, but funnily enough you usually find that it's people that are already successful that develop the complex, and then subconsciously seek to sabotage what they're doing.

      For the overwhelming majority it is a fear of failure that stops them from succeeding.

      Despite this, fear is a great motivator, and imagining yourself failing at something you're trying to accomplish can be much more effective driving force than fantasizing about your success

      Yes, likewise. WaFo has a lot of activity, and fortunately a group of level-headed Mods, so it does make for a productive learning environment.
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    • As much as it pains me to say it - but I agree with this.

      Fear of failing is completely understandable but I don't see what there is to be scared of succeeding personally..:confused:

      Understandably the obstacles and build-up process to success in IM can be quite daunting/fearful - but once you've surpassed all of that, you'll be like -->
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  • I can understand fear of succeeding and it was once a dominant factor in all my business offline. Overcoming that fear was critical for success.

    As I see it there are many newcomers that fear succeeding and this leads to the need of absolute certainty before they will take any action.

    In other words...

    They need to be held by the hand and guaranteed that AB and C will happen before they agree to take action. They want complete certainty. Is it any wonder they don't want an online business but will happily purchase a bunch of products that promise to do it for them. The big promise in all its glory.

    Fear is an evil and corrosive thread that can ruin the best of us online, offline, personally, socially and professionally.

    Marcus Rockey
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      Beg to differ. That's NOT a fear of succeeding, it's the fear of failure. Two completely different things.
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  • Fear of succeeding is NOT my problem.
  • In this context, "fear of success" may be a subconscious barrier which many people don't even realize they have. Their low self esteem, consistent failures or lack of professional confidence may drive the fear, but no doubt, it's there. It's very easy for these people to make excuses after excuses for not succeeding especially when they've been doing it their whole life. Mental reinforcement is so powerful (whether negative or positive).

    Fear of failure on the other hand is a lot more common & normal. In fact, I think most people at some point go through this to some degree.
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  • Running an Offline Business that failed, put a bunch or fear in me when I opened my Online business.

    failure, failing one's family and all the other pressures one puts on themselves.

    The Only way to overcome is to face it down, have small success stories and continue to build one's faith in one's self.

    I use to put things off all the time, at 1st thinking myself lazy, learned that I was just scared to act and used lazyness as an excuse.

    Time and having faith in one self is the only way through it

    good Luck all
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  • A lot of people today tend to over think and get their minds all trippy and stuff.

    If you want to get yourself in the groove you just need to relax, have some love in your work, and go hustle! Get out there and do it! How do you know you're going to make any big cash if you just sit all day and do nothing!
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  • I have a fear of spiders. I freaking hate spiders with a passion.



    JUST LOOKING AT THIS IMAGE MAKES ME SHAKE
  • “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: Those who are afraid to try themselves, and those who are afraid that you will succeed.” Ray Goforth
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    • This quote says it all:

  • I simply dont have any fear of success!, just getting the product & trustworthy peep's has alway's been as issue!
  • Damn it, whoever posted that spider is gonna give me freaking nightmares now. Thanks a lot!

    If you have a fear of success... ask yourself: "What's the absolute worst that could happen?" and then imagine the most terrible, awful things. Chances are, it's just that it won't work -- no problem. You learned from it. Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try something else. Some of the world's most important inventions were made by people who kept trying, and failing, and trying again. Don't be afraid!
  • I think the fear of success is very real.

    It isn't so much the success itself that we fear, but the necessity to go to the next level (or face the next challenge).

    It also means we no longer have certain excuses that make is feel comfortable.
  • Everyone loves to succeed, i really don't understand why someone fears to succeed? It isn't normal.
  • Thank-you very much. Great post. Will be using this.
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    • The fear of Success (or being successful) is indeed a VERY real fear, usually buried deep in ones subconscious mind & related to "how others (family &/or friends) will see (& react to) me when I am a success (or rich, or slim, or ... fill in the blank) "

      This type of subconscious thinking leads to self-sabotage & a series of negative thoughts & actions, eventually leading to a lack of "success" (or a limit to the potential for success) in the person concerned.


      Fear of Failure (which is easier to understand by most people) is far more common & has a conscious level as most people are aware of the "risk"
      ie
      I can't invest in ....., I might lose my money
      I can't work all those hours, I might lose my family
      etc, etc,


      As most people are striving for "success" it is indeed hard to understand why someone would have a "fear" of succeeding, but this fear is real, but VERY well hidden & takes some time (& the correct questions) to uncover & is usually linked to a lack of Self Esteem deeply hidden in the mind.

      Remaining Positive can be a struggle for a lot of people but with areas like this around hopefully those who need a little Positive boost will get it

      BIC
  • breaking through
  • I'm not convinced that anyone could really fear success. How would that even be possible? If you succeed you get something you want - how could that ever be bad or something to fear?

    I think the real problem is the fear of being embarrassed when you fail. So the fear of of failure - not of success. The fear is of trying and failing in front of everyone you blabbed your overgrown "goals and aims" to. So, keep your aims to yourself then no one will know if you "fail". I once coached a person who said they didn't want to make a lot of money because they didn't want all their friends and relatives to come begging and borrowing. Just before giving them a full refund (uncoachable) I reminded them that lending money is the BEST way to get rid of someone.
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    • Whilst fear of failure is much more common, I'm sure you can respect the fact that the mind is a complex thing, and there are those that fear success, too.

      Fear is often an irrational expectation based on the unknown. If there's a level of success someone has never experienced, it isn't so unfathomable that that anxiety could manifest itself into a full-blown fear, thus limiting the person's potential in a self-destructive manner.
  • Of course but (to further my point) what I'm saying is that they are not fearing the success; they are fearing the failure of their ability to handle the success or they fear the embarrassment they might feel if they fail to achieve their publicly proclaimed "goals". Success by it's very definition is the realisation of a desired goal. If someone gets what they want they are always happy.

    It's the fear of not getting what they want that scares them. Most people's main goal is a happy, exciting and content life. If they get that - they are a success. If along with all that come a dozen demons then THAT is what they fear, not the success. Just saying that people use "fear of success" as a cliché when it's not really the "success" that people fear it's the demons they imagine that might come with it.

    Example, many actors want to become famous but they don't want the paparazzi that comes with that fame. They don't fear becoming famous (the success) they fear the demons that (might) come with it - the papparazzi. People want applause but don't want stage fright or to say something dumb in front of many people. People want riches but they don't want fake friends and borrowers hanging around. People want and welcome success. They just need to seperate the success from the failure. To say people fear success would suggest that all success comes welded to demons when that's not true. Success, if it's the realisation of a desire can only be a good thing - nothing to fear.

    I used to teach stock market and had students who wanted to make money (the desire) but didn't want to make too much money because they didn't want to have all their friends ask them to lend money (the demon). They didn't fear the success (money) they feared the demon (their green eyed friends)...etc
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    • I hear what you're saying, and your assessment of fear of failure is spot on, but a fear of success isn't about fearing the failure that comes with handling the success, but is more deeply rooted in not believing they are deserving of any success to begin with.

      It is a mentality and perspective of oneself that is born of low self worth. Typical behavior for someone that fears success is to actually sabotage their own plans and destroy what they have created, and this also extends to self-destruction; subconsciously driven to put themselves in threatening or risky situations, and to push away those that are important to them (or their business).

      The ones that fear success struggle with an internal conflict, and our own defensive routines are so powerful that one can completely delude themselves to the point that they simply can't see what they're doing, and justify and rationalize their actions constantly.

      But you are right, as there are two trains of thought. Many people speaking about a fear of success are often talking about the definition you outlined - fearing what comes with success, and therefore fearing the failure of coping with it; but a genuine, deep-rooted fear of success stems from low self-worth, self-esteem.

      For example, a business owner may begin driven and inspired, successfully building their own business, only to stop working or following their vision and allowing it to fail.

      In a romantic relationship, this type of person may find the girl of their dreams and be very happy with her, only to actively look for faults to justify ending the relationship, deeming her unsuitable and denying themselves their own happiness.

      In a twisted way they're allowing their lack of trust and belief that they deserve anything to inform their behavior and stop themselves from reaching their goals; furthermore, after the inevitable failure they will feel good about their decision, even if they're not happy with the outcome, because in their mind they assessed the situation correctly and "called it" before it happened.
  • I hear ya. Good points.
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  • This is so so true.It has been my experience too


  • MQ: How to deal with more responsibility coming along with success?
    MA: Take a small steps towards your goal and try to adapt in best way possible.
  • The fear of success and fear of failure are essentially the same thing. The only difference is fear of success is just from a great height.

    It's still fear, which is the cause of both. How do you over such fear; acknowledgement of the fear itself and then being courageous and vulnerable enough to not let it affect your main goal.
  • I'm not so sure about that Gary.

    Fear of failure is obviously self or public embarrassment and loss of time or money but fear of success? I've never really understood that. The only way I can make sense of it is if people associate success with possible failure but if success (in it's purest definition) is "achievement of a worthwhile and desired goal" then there's nothing to fear because people get what they want which could do nothing but make them happy.

    I think no one has any real fear of success (it just doesn't make sense to be afraid of something you want) but the problem could lie in their definition of success which could include some imagined evils which are obviously something to fear or they are afraid of some real evils (such as my previous paparazzi example). I can imagine that people would fear success because they don't want to have people chasing them for autographs, pictures or money but it would be a simple solution to change one's definition of success to exclude the evils. For example, I'd like to be a successful but private millionaire, actor, author, marketer...etc.

    Define success as something you actually want and go get it.
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    • I get what you're saying, but I think you'll find that most psychologists will agree that they are essentially the same thing. The physiological reactions your get from either fear of success or fear of failure are the same. Even the associated actions are similar. If you are fearful of failure, you may not take action. If you are fearful of success, again you may not take action. The meanings are different. With failure, you don't take action as you want to avoid the risk of failure and looking bad. With success, you don't take action as you don't want the pressure of success and the responsibility of looking good. Now I'm throwing it out there, those aren't necessarily correct meanings.

      To clarify, they are the same in what mental and physiological changes happen to your body. The only difference is the meaning you attach to either fear.
  • I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    Only I will remain.
    Frank Herbert
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    • Pasting quotes is all warm and beautiful but what are your thoughts? This can become just another Halmark flowery thread filled with quotes and platitudes or an interesting discussion on fear. I'm interested in your personal thoughts. What do you think? Do you have any personal ideas, experiences or comments to add?
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    • Not sure your conclusion is a naturally extension of your observation. What is there to fear? What is it that people (think they) are fearing? Is it really success that people are scared of? If so, how can that be explained? People repeat this so often that it's almost become a mantra which I have never understood. I sigh when I hear people repeating it as if it's a natural and understandable phenomenon but what does it mean? If success is what we all want how can it be that people are so flippant about this (co called) fear? Surely something so contradictory to what we all desire deserves our examination.
  • Ok so I think we can safely conclude that when people define "success" they are actually defining something they do not want (success with evils and demons). So it should be a simple matter of defining an actual success that they do want (success without the evils and demons) and aim for that. That way, there is nothing to fear because success has been defined as something pleasant and desirable.

    Example,

    "I'd like to become a financially free without these hassles...
    Hassle 1
    Hassle 2
    Hassle 3
    ...etc"

    Though, focusing on what you don't want will surely attract those things but that's a whole other thread.

    Ok, problem solved. Define success as something you do want - not something you do NOT want. Seems obvious but because people insist on using the phrase "fear of success" in a context that is not accurate or true this definition needs to exist and be clarified.

    Focus on what you - not what you . Because either way you'll get what you focus on. I can think of an example. Fear of freedom. If you want freedom and define that as "escaping from Stalag 13" and you will be shot dead as soon as you clear the fence then focusing on freedom is will get you killed therefore freedom = bad. But if you focus on freedom as "when this war is over we will be out of Stalag 13" then freedom = good. Saying you want to be free can illicit a fear response if you associate murder with it but will not elicit a fear response if you associate the end of the war to it which proves that you need to focus on the right thing (success without evils and demons) instead of associating all sorts of evils with your aim or goal.

    A lot of people (I have interviewed) think being rich stinks (e.g. people who use the phrase "filthy rich"). But being rich can be a wonderful thing if you have set it up so you have enough money to live a fantastic life without the "hassles" unimaginative or ignorant people associate with "being rich". I can imagine being rich as having enough money so that I feel no financial stress, being able to spend as much time on my hobbies as I like and indulging my passions as I see fit. Nothing to fear there so that's what I'm aiming at ergo I don't fear success.

    Simple really. Imagine a "desirable success" and go for it.
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  • I used to think I was afraid of success. I did all of the "self help" things to achieve my goals. I thought I had a burning desire to succeed. All of that didn't get me where I wanted to be though.

    2 things changed that:
    1. Having a "why." I now have a reason to succeed besides "I want it." I know that my life can not go forward unless I am successful.
    2. Sacrifices. I became aware of the sacrifices that I would need to make. I embraced them. And I jumped in.

    I used to think I was afraid of success, but now I know that I didn't have a strong enough reason or willingness to give up certain things in my life to get there.
  • True, it's amazing what you can do when you have a good compelling reason.

    Indiana Jones - Bug's Tunnel - YouTube
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  • I have only one fear of succeeding. While getting success I should not forget or neglect my loving people.
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    • Does this "fear" stop you from taking action and moving forward toward your success? Does it terrify you into inaction?
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  • I think the only fear is getting started, but once you are getting success, the fear is gone.
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  • I think most people fear success without even knowing it. It makes no sense to fear success but yet a lot of people, including me sometimes, have it in their heads that they don't deserve success or happiness and that simply isn't true.
  • "Many people develop a "fear of succeeding" when it comes to Internet Marketing." I'm very sorry but i don't agree with you. It's unusual, everyone wants to succeed, nothing less.
  • Banned
    A very very helpful suggestion for newbie ,
    step by step analysis from your experience ,
    hope it will spreading and must be a helping tool for all new IM.
  • As a Master Hypnotist and Certified Hypnotherapist I have often encountered this fear of success but it may be disguised in different ways. It is a real problem for many people and the original post is quite accurate.
  • Great post, thank you. This fear is not conscious of course. Everyone wants to be successfull, but most people sabotage themself.

    I am working on my own success and I would like to recommend two books for those who understanding they sabotage their own success.

    The first book which I think could be helpfull for most of you is Get The Life You Want by Richard Bandler. This is about NLP, and gives you the ability to overcome your fear without a therapist.

    The second book is The Secret Code of Success from Noah st. John, which is about self sabotage, and I think this can be a life changer too.

    I read these two books and I started to taking action. Taking action is the necessery step to overcome your fear.
  • Hi,
    I've read the OP's posts in detail to try to understand exactly what he means by "Fear of Success".

    From the examples the OP used, it seems that you are talking about a "Fear of the Hard Road to Success".

    People who are afraid of the actual Journey of getting to Success.

    It's usually due to natural habits humans have, such as: Procrastination, Laziness, Disorganization, etc...


    Simply, it takes effort to put a solid plan together and really follow through with it.
    It's much easier to sit back and make a half-effort, then give up when things aren't working out.

    It isn't the Success that people fear, it's the Journey of getting there.

    Most/Many people would love to be a Millionaire, but when you really sit and calculate things...

    Looking at your Current Earnings + Effort you made to get there,
    Vs. The High Volume of earnings you need to maintain to become a Millionaire... the Journey looks daunting.

    They realize that the work "seems" too hard, and they become afraid of going down that path.


    Fair or Failure is much more realistic to me. It happens to everyone at various points in their lives.

    Fair of Success, isn't very logical to me.

    Maybe you can be afraid of some of the things that come with success (as others have mentioned); Bigger responsibilities, being in the spotlight 24/7, Higher Expectations from others, Being a target of criminals, etc...

    But I don't believe that you can fear Success itself.

    -Andrew
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    "Fear of succeeding"

    Many people develop a "fear of succeeding" when it comes to Internet Marketing. I used to be this way and I have now started to overcome this by enforcing confidence in myself. A great question to ask is "what will help/fix my current obstacle?" Of course this can be as complicated as we need to make it and complete books have been written on the subject. However, this is what I have found useful...