How do you handle people holding you back !?

I'm in a similar situation. My father is very negative about success and can only speak about the risks involved and why I can't do this or can't do that.

Honestly, if I ever manage to free myself from him (I can't right now because he supports me financially and I don't have a proper source of income) then I would probably get more involved with people who are more positive and supportive of what I do.

He is my dad so I will always love him. However, that doesn't mean I have to like him or how he treats me. He always told me that I would never amount to very much and he limits both me and my thinking. Makes me feel small.

If I were you I would get out of the situation if you can. Don't let people into your life who can't seem to realize what your are capable of. Let alone "see" your true potential.

The truth is, you can do anything you set your mind to and as long as you remain focused and belief then you will achieve. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Not even your family.

They can still play a role in your life. However, I would not see these people as your true family or make them a top priority. True family are people who stick with you and who support you no matter what and who will always believe in you. Most of all who realize your true potential no matter how far it seems to be locked away or hidden because of your current situation.

Surround yourself with people who deserve to be around you because they treat you as you deserve to be treated. With respect and love.

i find the irony of this post strong as hell because here is a direct copy and paste of the facebook status i posted this evening as i'm deleting it and changing my phone number tomorrow.

"I hope my friends take me back after the reluctant but necessary disappearing act i'm about to pull. It's for the greater good of balling out to the fullest this summer. There's no hard feelings i just can't be nickel and dime-ing myself on lameass winter nights spending 3, 4, or $500 a week on nothing when i can be puttin that toward a better setup for us as a group to enjoy this summer. i have an extremely high bar set that's going to take 2 to 3 months of concentrated uninterrupted focus. but best believe when i return... imma slap the shit outta everybody.

#reluctantchatter"


they hate hanging around me now anyways because i'll be having an amazing time but then all of a sudden a switch will get turned on and i'll instantly start thinking of all the ad space, seo, content building i could be doing for my site. I'm one of those people who can't say no to family and friends. my friends are loyal and loving but there is no excusing they are a direct negative influence on my goals. and necessary actions need to be taken.

Thank you for sharing. The original question is one that I have had to grapple with on various occasions in my life; whilst also living with a mental illness.

In many respects there is no easy answer. In Aussie land - the land of knockers - we have a term for people tearing down other people's success - The Tall Poppy Syndrome. It's as if some cultures want to cut off the person who they consider is too successful, too smart, too whatever - because they stand like a beacon to tell all that there is hope; that a person can achieve whatever they set their minds to.

Sometimes it is not easy to walk away from either family or friends - because we are emotionally (whether positively or negatively) attached to them, even if we know or want to walk away. Sometimes limiting our exposure to people who are always wanting to give the negative perspective can assist.

Another strategy I use is okay - thank you for your feedback, I will consider the wisdom of what you're saying and work it through my processes. In other words instead of viewing the feedback as entirely negative, I will use the feedback as a positive to ensure I put in relevant positive strategies to address their concerns into my thinking. For example: if they say the bookkeeping is tough and ardious (which it can be) - then I develop or think of a positive strategy to address this i.e. pay someone who loves bookkeeping to do the books for me; investigate a type of software that might make things a wee bit easier. Hence whilst the feedback felt negative I now have turned it into a positive and a consideration of what I may require in order to achieve my dream. Make sense.
Naturally we all want people to support us and tell us our ideas are fabulous and go for them. Sometimes though the people who are throwing out the negatives or concerns are in a backhanded way giving us a compliment and wanting to look out for us. So take their feedback and look for the nugget hidden within and then work with the nugget. One doesn't have to accept all feedback provided.
I guess what I'm saying is regardless of who you are, whether you live with mental illness or other types of disabilities - dare to dream, then take those dreams and turn them into a positive reality - one step at a time, all the while most of all believe in yourself.
As Napoleon Hill said: What the mind of man can conceive, and fully believe, will be achieved.

Good luck.

Thank you all for the wise words ! I can do something with that..I could never cut out my family or some other people out of my life, but I agree it's the way you look at it. Change the way you look at things and te things around you change...

Quote Maya "But maybe they are a projection of your thoughts and beliefs"

I agree with you partly and see what you mean. With that said ask any other dutch guy or woman on this forum about your head being chopped of as a national sport, they will instantly know what you are talking about. So it may be what I project, but is a national sport also

In The Netherlands they have a special saying for this. "Don't stick your head above the cornfield, it will get chopped of" Still there are also people who think differently, unfortunately not a lot ! And I agree on the Ego part Odahh. A wise man once said Control your ego / mind or it will control you !

I am not awake yet and this inspires a somewhat mystical response ..

we are always in motion at any given second the ground beneath our feet is moving 1000+ miles an hour ..and everything is constantly changing..

it is a total pile of bull crap that we only use 5 percent of our brain power .

we use 100 percent ..just 95 % get wasted in the process of convince ourselves that we are stuck where we are and nothing is going to change ..

then to cope we have a number of dreams that feel good to think about but we believe we will never really get ..

we spend most of our mental energy explaining why we are where we are and why we probably will never change and how we can't do this this and this until we have the money.. but we intentionally never try to get the money ..

so we keep friends who would get offended if we suddenly start doing better than them..we don't make friends wwith those doing better than us..and we watch the news so we get convinced things won't get any better ..

then we claim.. that it is not what we do that is causing us problems it if any version of them ..

now now i know those on this board and reading this may be amount the smallish part of the mass of humanity not in this pattern ..

procrastination is the number one sign that what you are putting off does not really matter to you ..

there are a number of thing people can do to make their lives better .. that do not require much money ..but they have bought into a mindset of powerlessness and they surround themselves with people on a similar level ..

Thank your for your post Jinger. I suffered from depression for years so I can relate ! You're spot on , it's your life and you make your own decisions...Funny thing out depression. I used to think that the opposite of depression is being happy, but I found it is much more than that.

First one represses something and then it gets depressed. Someone gets depressed because he or she is not expressing him or herself. So the solution for depression is to express yourself :-) and only then you'll be happy !

This might come off as being negative, but it is not meant to be that way. Have you thought about moving to a different country and just leave it all and those people behind?

Shana Jahsinta Walters.

Changing someone's mindset is next to impossible if they don't want to change themselves. They have to want to change before they can change and some people simply don't want to... In other words, they are so stuck in fear that they simply can't find their way out; especially if they're not looking...

And it can be hard to not let them drain you. I know this from experience. I used to come home (when I was with my parents) in the best mood possible just to simply be drained within 10 minutes due to the constant negativity that which surrounded me. Unfortunately I just had to deal with it until I moved out...

The only power people have to hold you back is that which you give them.

Patrick

Here's a blurb I wrote for my newsletter that might help...
So let me ask you something... what happens if you fail?

Life still goes on, right?

So what, exactly, is there to be afraid of ... your ego?

Put it in it's place, show it who's the boss. It will always hold you back in an effort to protect you if you don't.

Hope that helps.

PS - Someone else's opinion of you only has as much power as you give it. You control your inner world, not them. Get your self-talk right and what other people think and say won't have much power over you.

I agree 100% ! Do not tell people what you are doing business wise, people you know are not able to support you in a positive way ! Only mention it to people you know will understand and support you !

I have this formula. I decided to talk to chit-chat with people who can't understand what I am doing en talk to people who do understand / support me about the things I am doing.

I know it's not only something of my country. However I heard that in the US people give succesful people who built their American dream their thumbs up.

I don't know if that is really true, but they say that here in Europe about Americans. Of course this is generalising as everybody is different...

If someone is holding you back then they have to go. It's that simple.

If you really want to succeed then you won't let anything hold you back. There have been plenty of times when people tried to discourage me from doing something. I ignored them. Most people will always try to pull you down because it's easier than pulling themselves up.

I don't care if it sounds harsh. You are directly responsible for your own success or failure, no one else.

You will find people who support you, believe in you and encourage you. These are the people you keep. The rest of them have to go.