Help! I just don't feel like doing the thing I need to do!

14 years ago

You actually answered your own question. Unless you are just to lazy to eat.

Your first mistake and the answer to your question is you were wrong. Just admit it... say it out loud, right now... "I was wrong" Come on say it out loud.

Now once you have said it here is where you went wrong:
You quite setting goals. The reason your goals didn't work and you lost heart is because you set your daily minor goals to high. You need to be more reasonable and only set your goals high enough that you can achieve them.
Check out this thread about Goals and read through it: http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...ml#post7597607

If you need help PM me

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curly sue 14 years ago

1. listen to daily motivational videos on youtube; les brown, anthony robins.
2. Get a life coach/mentor
3. Join a mastermind Groups/s
4. Get accountability partners in im
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- Mark Andrews Banned 14 years ago
  
  Hello Kardesh
  
  It's a common problem for many people. What you're suffering from is the pain / pleasure principle. That is, your pain isn't yet acute enough to drive you on to take a certain course of action even if deep down you know this action would be good for you.
  
  You're essentially perfectly content in the subconscious mind to stay in your comfort zone.
  
  If the pain of going without was much more acute than the pleasure derived from not taking action and staying where you are, as you are, then you would take the action which for you represented the easiest way out. Your logical justification path.
  
  You're leading yourself to believe, probably due to environmental conditioning, that lack of action at the moment gives you a greater reward than pulling out all the necessary stops to change your life for the better in some way.
  
  It sounds to me like your mindset has become just a little bit lazy and contented with the status quo. An emotional dependency issue perhaps? No offense.
  
  When you perceive a greater gain to be taken advantage of by taking that action which gives you a higher level of personal reward or feedback, then taking this action more readily in the future, being prepared to pay the price in advance, will in and of itself pay you back with a different set of results which may be more to your liking than at present you imagine.
  
  Mark Andrews
  
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namktqs

14 years ago

I think you should think about create a system that automatic watering the garden. Now your work is do things create a system one time. Then you only need use click for everything run that you enjoy to do other work. Do this way overcome your problem?

Thanks
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kardesh10

14 years ago

Originally Posted by wrcato2

You actually answered your own question. Unless you are just to lazy to eat.

Your first mistake and the answer to your question is you were wrong. Just admit it... say it out loud, right now... "I was wrong" Come on say it out loud.

Now once you have said it here is where you went wrong:
You quite setting goals. The reason your goals didn't work and you lost heart is because you set your daily minor goals to high. You need to be more reasonable and only set your goals high enough that you can achieve them.
Check out this thread about Goals and read through it: http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...ml#post7597607

If you need help PM me

Thanks. This reminds me of the kaizen way where you set very small goals and then work your way up. The problem is i'm just damn impatient since my winter break is almost over and i'm starting school again.

Originally Posted by sexy sue

1. listen to daily motivational videos on youtube; les brown, anthony robins.
2. Get a life coach/mentor
3. Join a mastermind Groups/s
4. Get accountability partners in im

I think this is the solution to my procrastination problem. I need other people in my life to help me accomplish my goals. I've been a lone ranger for far too long. I've been wanting to have a life coach so bad but I'm broke. I'd definitely get one when I graduate and get a job though. Then I can return to IM (I'm not doing IM right now since I'm halfway through school).

Originally Posted by Mark Andrews

Hello Kardesh

It's a common problem for many people. What you're suffering from is the pain / pleasure principle. That is, your pain isn't yet acute enough to drive you on to take a certain course of action even if deep down you know this action would be good for you.

You're essentially perfectly content in the subconscious mind to stay in your comfort zone.

If the pain of going without was much more acute than the pleasure derived from not taking action and staying where you are, as you are, then you would take the action which for you represented the easiest way out. Your logical justification path.

You're leading yourself to believe, probably due to environmental conditioning, that lack of action at the moment gives you a greater reward than pulling out all the necessary stops to change your life for the better in some way.

It sounds to me like your mindset has become just a little bit lazy and contented with the status quo. An emotional dependency issue perhaps? No offense.

When you perceive a greater gain to be taken advantage of by taking that action which gives you a higher level of personal reward or feedback, then taking this action more readily in the future, being prepared to pay the price in advance, will in and of itself pay you back with a different set of results which may be more to your liking than at present you imagine.

Mark Andrews

I've tried the plain and pleasure principle before but I didn't stick with it. How do I internalize it so that I have this mindset continuously.

Originally Posted by namktqs

I think you should think about create a system that automatic watering the garden. Now your work is do things create a system one time. Then you only need use click for everything run that you enjoy to do other work. Do this way overcome your problem?

Thanks. I brought up the gardening thing because i wanted to point out that not all procrastination is due to fear. You can have no fear and still don't feel like doing stuff. And I wanted to have the solution to that.

Thanks
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JimNasby

14 years ago

Originally Posted by kardesh10

I think this is the solution to my procrastination problem. I need other people in my life to help me accomplish my goals. I've been a lone ranger for far too long. I've been wanting to have a life coach so bad but I'm broke. I'd definitely get one when I graduate and get a job though. Then I can return to IM (I'm not doing IM right now since I'm halfway through school).

You can put people in your life that will help motivate you and not spend a dime. All the big-name motivational speakers have websites/mailing lists where you can read inspirational stuff for free. You can network with people online or offline (PM me, I'd be glad to help how I can, though I don't check this forum all the time). If you want to be more adventurous, you can find or even start a mastermind group. You can find someone locally that's an entrepreneur and work for them for free in exchange for some mentoring.

Now, I realize the irony in that I just listed a bunch of stuff that will require you to make effort, but as someone else said, just take one baby step at a time. And (this is important), when you accomplish that step, however small, pat yourself on the back. Congratulate yourself on a good job, no matter how small. SAY IT OUT LOUD.

One of the books I've read talks about how critical habits are. There's a two-pronged approach here; try to cut back on some of your "bad" or less-productive habits by replacing them with good habits. You really want to do both at the same time if you can.

Oh, and try to be thankful, even when you're not accomplishing what you wish you were. Be thankful for what you have. Smile! Creating a positive attitude goes a LONG way towards improving your motivation and energy.

BTW, don't let school become an excuse for not doing any IM. You don't have to work on your IM every day. You can make a difference in little 10 minute increments. An ad-swap here, find a new offer there, look for something you can post a link to on your blog, etc, etc. These are all small things you can do in small amounts of time (of course, you can spend big amounts of time on them too...)

Hope this helps...

Thanks

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Mark Andrews Banned 14 years ago

Originally Posted by kardesh10

I've tried the plain and pleasure principle before but I didn't stick with it. How do I internalize it so that I have this mindset continuously.

Your problem is, you're living it.

It's not something you need to try out.

It's something you need to ditch.

Mark Andrews
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Henri Lind

14 years ago

I have had the same problem, playing video games all day long and not doing what i should do instead.

One day you just realize that this isnt a way to live life. Theres nothing bad about playing video games, but it doesnt take you nowhere.

One day i just said i dont want to live like this for the rest of my life, and started doing corrections to my day every day. Set goals and then work every day for it.

First day do 1 thing, next day do something for your goal 10 minutes, 3rd day 15 minutes, and so forth. You can't just change your life by just snapping your fingers. You need to get rid of bad habits one piece at a time. It can take months to finally get you there, but its worth it.

Thanks

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NewRiseDigital

14 years ago

Definitely recommend listening to Les Brown's stuff. There's a great set of podcasts on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/...ow/id345175354 that are totally free to download.

The main reason for procrastination is that life is too 'comfortable'. Les Brown had none of the opportunities that most of us have in life and still succeeded. If life is too easy there's no reason for you to work harder. Get out of your comfort zone, because as Les Brown says, if you don't play with life, life is sure gonna come playing with you soon...

Most people take action when they have to, successful people decide to take action when they don't have to, that really is the only difference. You're the only one who can decide whether you are going to choose to be successful or not, and as Brian Tracy once said to T Harv Eker (it's on a you tube video I think I saw this first) - On a headstone in the graveyard there are two dates, one is your birth date and the second is the date of your death. You see that little dash (hyphen) on the headstone in the middle between the dates? That is your life....

Thanks

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ar

14 years ago

I was in the same position as you years ago. To the point that I always let my hair grow because I was too lazy to get a haircut. I had to admit to myself that I was just plain lazy and there was no excuse not to get anything done.

Maybe you're missing your "why". Why do you need to need to do "x"? If you're going to school, why are you going to school? To get a good job to buy the things you want, help out your parents, etc. Focus on the why and that's what keeps me motivated.

Thanks

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talfighel

14 years ago

I see it this way.

If you don't have a big enough reason for doing things, then you will not do them.

If you don't have a big enough WHY, then you will not get anything done or drop out after a few days.

Although you do want to succeed and accomplish you "goals", you are just not driven or inspired to get things done.

Plus, you don't believe that the actions that you take will get you anywhere. You do the things for a while but inside, you just don't think that you will reach your goals.

These are the reasons in my view.

Thanks

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Nic Oliver

14 years ago

I take a slightly different view of procrastination.

Most of my clients for whom procrastination is a problem, and when I've suffered from it, have all shown that procrastination is a sign from your unconscious mind. It's telling you that whatever it is that you are putting off is not in alignment with your sweetspot.

Anyone who has played any sport that involves hitting a ball will know what the sweetspot is. It's that point on your equipment where, if it makes contact with the ball, the ball seems to fly a long way, at great speed with little apparent effort!

In our context, the sweetspot is when our passion, strengths, purpose and the value we can offer all converge. If you are living and working from that place, procrastination is never an issue.

The two websites in my sig will be offering an increasing about of material on this issue. PM me if you want any further info and good luck dealing with procrastination.

Thanks

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Radical Coaching

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ThePromotionalGuy

14 years ago

Kardesh,

You are where you are today because what you did yesterday. You were where you were yesterday because of what you did the day before that and so on and so on and so on...

You haven't reached that point deep down inside you where you finally say:

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Maybe it will be when your living in your car or on the street or when others turn their hand of hospitality away from you.

My question to you is, "Who convinced you that you need improvement?"

I think someone has convinced you something is wrong with you and after 3 years of chasing rabbit trails you find yourself removed from the productive course you were once on.

You like most people are perfect just the way you are, it's the skill sets that produce results and income that need constant training, improvement and upgrading.

Stop trying to seek self-improvement and focus on creating income that will pull you up out of the hole you have found yourself in. Once you have accomplished this you will see that you have self-improved yourself.

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TonyBabb

14 years ago

What helped me greatly was setting smaller goals. Goals that I knew and wanted to accomplish.

1. I made daily lists of what I needed to do. Do this the night before each day.
2. I started taking walks in the morning to help clear my head and think about what I wanted I needed to do that day. Also think about what you want to accomplish in life and why.
3. I started to watch and listen to at least 1 motivation video/audio each day.
4. Later on in the day I would write or at least go over in my head what I actually accomplish today.
5. Getting exercise and trying to eat right is also very important. If you don't have the energy, it's going to be hard to get anything done.

This sounds like a lot to do, but it really is not once you get into a routine of doing it everyday. Try it and I bet you will see fantastic results.

Thanks
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HollyStar 14 years ago

Hi, Ive been in your shoes many times. What I do that helps, is change the task to an experience. What will you gain from this experience? If you water the flowers, you get to experience their beauty and aroma. If you continue not to water them, you will no longer have that experience.

We all have things in our life that we have to do, but don't really like doing, but have you ever asked yourself why you don't? Then try to find some positive things that you gain, out of doing the tasks. (there's always a few) It might make them less inviting to get done, and maybe one day you might get enjoyment out of doing them. Maybe.

It's really just mind play.
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Andyhenry

14 years ago

Woody and Mark have given you the answer to your question.

The problem is - you're still looking outside yourself for your answer.

It was actually quite telling in your OP when you said

"I just can't get myself to do the things I need to do."

Your mindset is not properly centralised. You're looking for a quick fix to a problem that is only solved by building a new habit. You could shortcut some of that using hypnosis, but you have everything you need to solve your own problem, you're just looking everywhere else for the answer.

It's like the fat person who sits reading a dieting magazine wondering what the best way to get thin is - while their thin friend is at the gym.

You need to looking for ways to take and control and just BE in control.

Woody told you - your results are based on your previous choices - if you want new results, take new choices - you can do that NOW.

Stop playing the victim and looking for ways to take control and just do what needs doing.

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Daniel Evans 14 years ago

Just do it and get some momentum.

You feel more in control if you just do things rather than wallow in procrastination.

Susan Jeffers "Feel the Fear.." is an awesome read which I recommend.

Daniel
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- NewRiseDigital 14 years ago
  
  Good recommendation Daniel, Feel The Fear is an evergreen (RIP Susan Jeffers, I only found out she passed away in late 2012)
  
  One my favorites that works every time is Steve Chandler's 100 Ways To Motivate Yourself. I read #1 regularly ('get on your own deathbed') and it still produces that same tear and urgency I got the first time I read it... a powerful read.
  
  Andy good comment too, definitely agree about focusing on others, best way to put your troubles into perspective (go help at soup kitchens regularly for a humbling experience)
  
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