Fantazing can harm your success !

22 replies
How you can really achieve your dreams may be different than you think!



You are familiar with goals: get a promotion, lose some weight, move to a new apartment, run a marathon. Everyone-- regardless of gender, age or nationality-- has goals and these serve to focus our effort and attention.What you might be less familiar with is how these goals work. Progress toward your goals is charted via your emotions. Frustration and doubt are signals that you aren't making the progress you hoped for while joy is an affective green light telling you to continue on.
But this is only true of brief instances of joy and not necessarily true of deeper and more fulfilling positive emotions.

The problem, where goals and achievement are concerned, lies in fantasies. You have undoubtedly had fantasies about being interviewed on the radio, accepting an Oscar award, or some other stellar achievement. Research shows that when fantasies are too emotionally rewarding they actually undermine motivation. Because you have-- in essence-- already received the emotional reward for a job well done you are less likely to expend further effort.

The trick, where your success is concerned, is to enjoy the moment without trying to enjoy the ultimate outcome before it is achieved. Expect success, but don't dwell on it as if it has already happened.

Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener [quoted from]

I can personally attest to this because i was a victim myself.
I get so happy dreaming the dream life as if i already have it.
And i was so lazy to actually start doing something, at the same time just enjoy the feeling that i already achieve it.
Its a balance i would say.

#fantazing #harm #success
  • Profile picture of the author GuruGuna
    I don't know if I would agree with this statement "Expect success, but don't dwell on it as if it has already happened."

    Success is a sure thing you can touch and feel it.

    This is a complicated subject but I believe one must live life as they have already achieved their goals as they work towards them.
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    • Profile picture of the author Newbieee
      yup its a complicated subject.

      Because it is psychology.
      I read another article some time back which i cant find the link anymore.
      It was talking about this chemical that is released in the brain to make you feel "high".

      When u eat yur favorite food, when you experience something good [] or when you achieve your goals, your brain releases this chemical.
      And you feel good.

      But humans like any living creature or electricity too, will take the easier route.
      The one with less resistance as it would in electricity.

      Everyone wants that high, and one can be addicted to a certain high feeling.
      Thus we keep going back to our favorite stores, doing our favorite things and striving to achieve more goals in life. To attain that high again and again.

      But when things get difficult, we [some] may take the easier route.
      Which is why some people take drugs, or drown themself with alcohol in sorrow times. Because all this does give u a moment of high without actually doing the real stuff that naturally makes you high.

      So in this case, stimulating your brain like watching porn is addictive.
      One may dream about success and get that high without actually doing it.
      And becomes lazy since he can achieve this high without doing real work.

      Unfortunately, its not the same as porn because research also say, people who watch porn will slowly progress to hard porn and then they will want to act it out.

      How great if it was life too.
      U dream it, and you cant take it but act it out.

      Some people do that.
      Some dont.

      So i like to be objective to everything, and so my own stand is that it is TRUE but of cos it doesnt apply to all.
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  • Profile picture of the author rozaimi3
    Sometimes we need to visualize success in our mind. That will motivate us to work more and keep focus.
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    • Profile picture of the author Newbieee
      Originally Posted by rozaimi3 View Post

      Sometimes we need to visualize success in our mind. That will motivate us to work more and keep focus.
      yes and i do not disagree with that too..
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  • Profile picture of the author theory expert
    Banned
    Originally Posted by Newbieee View Post

    The problem, where goals and achievement are concerned, lies in fantasies. You have undoubtedly had fantasies about being interviewed on the radio, accepting an Oscar award, or some other stellar achievement.


    Nope, not as a goal.

    Originally Posted by Newbieee View Post

    Research shows that when fantasies are too emotionally rewarding they actually undermine motivation. Because you have-- in essence-- already received the emotional reward for a job well done you are less likely to expend further effort.

    True as this maybe I fail to see you truly expound upon this in a convincing way in your post to provide a solution.


    Originally Posted by Newbieee View Post

    Originally Posted by Newbieee View Post

    Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener [quoted from]

    I can personally attest to this because i was a victim myself.
    I get so happy dreaming the dream live as if i already have it.
    And i was so lazy to actually start doing something, at the same time just enjoy the feeling that i already achieve it.
    Its a balance i would say.

    Quoted from where?
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    • Profile picture of the author Newbieee
      Originally Posted by theory expert View Post


      Quoted from where?
      Sure, thanks for ur input.
      Its not my own words anyway.
      Just sharing something interesting that i read the other day that i kind of agree from personal experience.

      I dont have the exact link, because i clear my history.
      But this is his main domain.
      who we are | Positive Acorn

      Cheers!
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  • Profile picture of the author Evocess
    In my own point of view, people tend to be successful when they are motivated to do the things they need to do. Visualizing things like achieving your goals, having your dream car, living in your dream house, etc is something that can make you feel inspired to get your ass off and do everything.
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  • Profile picture of the author andyredsox
    For me, if you have dreams and goals, you have to do anything to achieve that. It will just become a fantasy if you just telling what your dreams are, without doing anything to achieve that.
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  • Profile picture of the author iangland
    I agree, I tend to fall victim of this as well.

    I imagine everything I want to achieve but then start feeling as if i already have it and get content in the feeling.

    It is important to visualize success, but there is a fine line.
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    • Profile picture of the author Newbieee
      Originally Posted by andyredsox View Post

      For me, if you have dreams and goals, you have to do anything to achieve that. It will just become a fantasy if you just telling what your dreams are, without doing anything to achieve that.
      You hit the nail !

      Originally Posted by iangland View Post

      I agree, I tend to fall victim of this as well.

      I imagine everything I want to achieve but then start feeling as if i already have it and get content in the feeling.

      It is important to visualize success, but there is a fine line.
      Ya, there is a line.

      I am not saying its not good to visualize and have goals.
      But it may work the other way around too.
      And again, it doesnt apply to everyone.
      I know there are lots of hardworking people out there.
      I will consider myself as lazy. :p
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  • Profile picture of the author barefut
    You have to believe in your dreams, actually be convinced they are obtainable, otherwise you're just on a treadmill
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  • Profile picture of the author techbul
    There is always a huge difference between dreams and reality. Everyone aspires to be successful. But you should always keep in mind that aspirations is very different from obsession.
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  • Profile picture of the author BillyPilgrim
    I stopped fantazing years ago.
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  • Profile picture of the author techbul
    Believing in your dreams and following your aspirations unconditionally can always guarantee success.
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  • Profile picture of the author Soubhik
    If success can be measured and ranked.A bad Mans success can be hitting any one while other one can win a race;both are successful in their goals,but its the third person who decides the RIGHT achievement/success and how we see them individually.
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    • Profile picture of the author zannix
      I'm a living proof this is true. All the restless nights spent awake burning with excitement about my future... But unlike you, this has helped me to actually do MORE about it than I would have otherwise.

      Because of one thing - I wanted to experience that high once again.

      But this time in "real life", when I achieve it!

      However, when it happens, I just don't feel it. Worst feeling ever. It's like the universe gives you a choice - either experience it right away, or experience it later when it really happens.

      Turns out it's all in the mind. If you develop your imagination far enough, you can experience all the emotions you wish, without ever actually obtaining anything. Who's to tell what's right and what's wrong?

      One thing is for certain - you can only get these "unique" sensations once. Take your pick.
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  • Profile picture of the author SusanHarrison
    For me I find visualising my success supercharges my ambitions because when I open my eyes I am not in my mansion or driving a macleren F1 I am still hungry for success because I have a family who need me to provide for them and my dad has health issues which require expensive test the NHS are unwilling to carry out . I think your circumstances and reasons for what you are doing have a big effect on how much day dreaming negatively affects your success.

    Day dreaming about your goals and all the good reasons that motivate you and using the buzz you get to implement all your good ideas can be highly beneficial to your business.
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  • Profile picture of the author a1pena
    fantasizing yes it can be detrimental. But visualize and believing that you can achieve what you visualize is the key difference!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author shane1234
    I guess if the shoe fits wear it. Me personally fantasizing is the only thing that keeps me going. It gives me something to look forward to. I look at my fantasizing as a prophecy. A vision of future events yet to occur. I know not to substitute simulated desires with the real thing. It simply serves as a reminder to what I'm striving for. Greatness!!
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    • Profile picture of the author glennshep
      I don't think that fantasising in itself is what harms success. Rather, spending your time fantasising and doing nothing to work towards your goals is what harms your success.

      I believe that fantasising as though something has already happened is healthy and can give you purpose and focus. But this is absolutely useless if you do only that and do nothing else other than sit back and wait for an ideal set of circumstances to fall in your lap.

      Imagine you have plans to go on vacation to a nice place. You can sit back, relax and imagine what it will be like when you get there, visualising all you will do, how you will feel and what the place will be like. It's perfectly achievable and realistic, yet it serves absolutely no purpose on its own. Unless you actually set aside the money, make the booking, make arrangements to get there and then actually go, then the fantasy remains just that - a fantasy.

      Whatever dreams you have, whatever you fantasise about, that's all well and good, but if it's something you really want and believe you can have, then you have to actually put some work in, one way or another, in order to achieve your goal
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  • Profile picture of the author verial
    If I never fantasized about the girls I walk past in the mall, I would never go talk to them, which means I would never get their numbers, which means I would never take them out, which means I would never bring them home, which means I would never end up acting on my fantasies.

    I think the point is to have fantasies and act on them instead of mentally masturbating all day long, spending your time talking about how you're going to "be so-and-so" and "do so-and-so."

    Instead, you should jot down your lifestyle fantasies and come up with realistic plans on how to achieve them.

    There's nothing inherently wrong with a fantasy... unless you're a pedophile or rapist, of course.
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    • Profile picture of the author Newbieee
      Originally Posted by verial View Post


      There's nothing inherently wrong with a fantasy... unless you're a pedophile or rapist, of course.
      Good discussions guys!

      But i laughed at this one. hahaha. Thanks for the laugh. !
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