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THE BIG QUESTION! Responsibilities versus dreams !!

by justhandsome
6 replies
So Guys ..wanna start this thread .by one question which is ,I believe a big pain in the A$% for many many of us warriors ....what comes first Responsibilities or Dreams(Goals - if you may) ..??
Now I can see some idealistic answers coming ,but really..being Men...we really don't have the privilege of.......... you know like just doing your stuff and keep trying things... we have to fulfill our RESPONSIBILITIES ok like come-what-may...society is less-forgiving to men on these things ...than women...(single mothers all due respect to you...not dragging you in this ....)
So right from childhood ,we sacrifice a LOT of things ;dear to us ,to keep up with the increasing responsibilities...friends,beer,TV,sports,outdoors , etc etc ...might be different for everyone but overall yeah..so ..what is your take on this questions..when a MAN has to choose between responsibilities towards..well..family..society..job..kids..boss.. etc and take a risk and follow his dreams ..where in it is a high probability that he might have to sidetrack/reduce/neglect some of the responsibilities..what should be his stand.
At what point do you think is OK for certain RESPONSIBILITIES to take a BACKSEAT and let DREAMS/GOAL take priority...
Because I believe if we keep on behaving like a normal person who gives time to everything ,as expected...I dont see how ...any man can become a Great Man unless ofcourse he is lucky..who has behaved and kept everyone important happy..at the same time....
So have you guys faced situation like this and how did u deal with it...???
Eager to hear from everyone..
#big #dreams #question #responsibilities #versus
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    here is the problem with that system.

    if you think it is your responsibility to take care of everyone else..and ignore your own needs ..or expect some else to have responsibility for you .. it is not a good thing long term ..

    by taking responsibility for getting your own needs met .in ways that don't trample on others . and many times when you do that others around you benefit .

    look around at the number of people not taking care of their health.. expecting the food system to give healthy food to eat and the doctors and the pills they give to actually help ..and the disaster it is going to be in the next decade .

    by not taking care of my mental health it then aided in the decay of my pysical health .

    most responsibilities in todays world are things placed on the shoulders of someone else
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  • Profile picture of the author dad2four
    Greetings Just

    I can tell by reading your post that you and I are in the exact same boat.

    One difference I can see is that I already know the answer.

    Realistically, your responsibilities exist not because of anything you choose today. These exist because of choices you have made in your past. Honestly, you have no choice but to prioritize those responsibilites since you committed to them in your past.

    Wife, kids, mortgage, bills, credit card payments, etc etc etc.

    You may have dreams today of a different existence, however, you must honor your commitments you made in the past.

    You have to take the hard way out if you choose to act on those dreams in the future.

    When it comes to IM, as we all know, realistically, it will take time, effort, money to achieve your IM goals. You have to find a way to make it all happen on top of your existing responsibilities.

    You'll have to save enough to quit your job and honor your existing commitemnts until the money comes in. Or you'll have to work nights on IM until it can support your existing responsibilities.

    This is a struggle I know I go through on a daily basis and it's nothing new to anyone here I'm sure. You can make it happen, but there is no way to shuck those responsibilities and look yourself in the mirror and have respect for yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author justhandsome
    @dad2four You hit the nail on the head with the point that its the choices we made that we have to carry along..
    "You have to find a way to make it all happen on top of your existing responsibilities."

    Yeah I agree , and I too believe in Responsibilities come first then everything else...

    But sometimes people blame their ,lack of action,and laziness... on their responsibilities .which makes you think ....

    ....and this discussion also gives the younger crowd all the more reasons to give it their best while they are young and have less baggage to carry, as with age the responsibilities will keep on increasing...whether you like it or not!!

    @Odahh I agree in certain countries there is a system where people misuse the taxpayers money and just live on the unemployment and public health system..its a shame really!!
    But what I was basically talking about were the responsibilties in your personal domain... the time that you have to give to everything ,your money and your attention that is needed in so many places... etc etc ... its like a small tug of war between Responsibilities and other Goals...
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    • Profile picture of the author LastingLifeSuccess
      When you are alone and self-sufficient you can put all your energy into your dreams and let your domestic responsibilities fade somewhat.

      But if you have taken on the responsibility of "others": a wife, children, grand parents, then you have to strive for a Balance between the weight of your assumed responsibilities and the energy of your Dreams. You can have both by taking care of both.

      Let priorities rise and fall in both aspects of your life and deal with them as they arrive.

      LLS
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      • Profile picture of the author justhandsome
        @Lastinglife
        Great phrases there ......"energy of your Dreams" and "Let priorities rise and fall " :-)
        I like the different views of people here ,and sometimes I am surprised that people have so much clarity of thoughts in this forum...some of these things you will never hear or listen in your day to day life outside the Web....
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        • Profile picture of the author justhandsome
          "I have been in some very embarrassing situations while chasing a dream"

          Care to share some of those embarrassing moments with us

          "I want anyone to pursue their dreams but not at the expense of ignoring responsibilities."
          I agree ..Afterall it is our family which give meaning to our lives...but the same families might not take a minute to CRIB and degrade you in case you are not able to keep up with the expenses.......it is a double edged sword if you ask me..

          To achieve goals one has to neglect somethings...for certain times otherwise ..things will never change. or will not be profitable enough..(miss the bus..kindof).

          I believe it is a part and parcel of life..and .as we know life is a B#@$#


          Here an interesting list of top irresponsible things/stuff

          7 most irresponsible companies in the world: Money before Responsibilities


          A warrior is free to be a hero and pull off daring do and the soldier is irresponsible if he does it.
          C. J. Cherryh


          Some more very good links it makes you reflect on the fact that successful people on their way up had to make some hard choices...if they would have attended all birthdays ...all retirement parties...all holidays with wife and kids...
          always by side of old parents... always be on time on their jobs..always be the ideal employee...spend all weekends playing with kids...always bring the groceries on time..and on and on...........No way they could have achieved what they have ...

          I mean the olympians gold medalists don't spend their whole time fulfilling
          responsibilities but in training and more training...

          Some good quick reads if you have time...

          He Had To Be A Little Selfish To Be Successful | PRLog

          http://www.brianramdhan.com/thoughts...-a-good-thing/

          Why You Have To Be Selfish To Be Successful | Elite Daily

          OK here is one casestudy not mine ..just came up in my mind

          ...If a totally devoted man spends a good part of his youth (25-35) in taking responsibilities of his wife and kids..and as a result is not able to foucs and fulfill his goals..due to lack of time/support/money and then after 10 years the wife takes the kids along and leave for good... do you think the man would
          have been better off otherwise in being a little selfish and taking care of his goals as well...as we all know that there are only 24 hours in the day...

          Replace WIFE with Company...JOB etc ..etc..

          Something to think about :confused:





          .
          Originally Posted by Art of Marketing View Post

          I have been in some very embarrassing situations while chasing a dream if I had to do it all over I probably would. I like who and where I am now mentally and spiritually.

          I could never really say what is good for someone else only myself. Many people dream of that white picket fence and many people find it became a prison :p So to speak...but where there are humans involved you must lower risk and offer security.

          I want anyone to pursue their dreams but not at the expense of ignoring responsibilities.

          -Art.
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