how can I increase self esteem while failing.

by Mrnace
16 replies
Failure is part of life. But if success had never been a major part off it, self esteem is affected.

I sense this is why I don't progress. Any suggestions on this?
#esteem #failing #increase
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    forget self esteem ..the cult of self esteem is vicious and evil ..because instead of teaching kids that they can do better..that it is ok to make mistakes .. the attempt is made to protect children from failure in many cases they now can graduate collge with a degree ..and only then smack into a wall of failure .

    real self esteem and self confidence is built up as you learn from each failure and figure out how to improve ..i definitely learn by doing stuff i can do less wrong each time ..

    the key is to start out in ways so that failure doesn't destroy you right away really no stepping on stage on this earther has talent ..if you have never sung for anyone before .

    with any skill there is a progression that allows you to learn it even if you start without talent .

    when you learn how you learn by developing a skill are able to adapt the learning pattern of other skills. and when you know you suck but you are pretty confident you can get better ..that is true self esteme

    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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  • Profile picture of the author Apra Barua
    By focusing on another goal you can divert your disappointment at failing to achieve one goal. This way your self esteem will not be affected since you will not concentrate on your failure all the time.
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  • Profile picture of the author YHmuWong
    Just, stop pushing.Leave a bad day behind.Not everything is tarnish or torn and tattered.

    Rock,Paper, Scissors. Always choose Rock thrice!

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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Hey Mrnace,

    A great quotation that I like:
    “Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” ¾ Booker T. Washington
    I used to think of myself as a “failure” and suffered from low self-esteem also.

    What's missing isn't success, it's how you're perceiving your reality.

    Just because you fail at something doesn't mean that you're a “failure” as a person. In fact, success is built on failure and I'm sure you've heard that Thomas Edison “failed” 1000 times while inventing the light bulb.

    As Thomas J. Watson (Founder, IBM) advised:
    “You're thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure, or you can learn from it. So go a head and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember, there is where you will find success.”
    So begin thinking of “failure” as something that can help you succeed in life. I would say that I have high self-esteem because I have overcome many failures/setbacks/struggles.

    So begin to associate “failure” with “Opportunity to learn and progress.” : )

    A good book that I think you will find helpful is Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.

    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author carolf
    I just posted this article which you may find useful The Road to Self-esteem | Carol Finlayson
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  • Firstly I would change your perception of Failure. If things dont work out the way you want or if they go wrong or people tell you that something wont work we often think we have failed but failure is only a concept it isnt something tangible but an experience and you can change your concept of failure. Think back to when you was a child and started to walk. I bet you didnt just get up one day and start walking. No you fell over and lost your balance but you kept trying until you got it right but the only way you got it right was from learning from the experience of falling. So every mistake or perceived failure isnt really a failure it is a stepping stone, its a lesson that happens to teach you how to do it differently or better so you can either take the work out of your vocabulary and replace it with lesson or think of it as a positive stepping stone to where you need to go. Dont beat yourself up because that will only make you feel bad about yourself. In every situation you can sit back and say ok what can I learn from this, when this becomes your habit you will look forward to "failing" because you will be able to gain valuable insight into getting it right.
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    Everyone "fails" to a certain extent but with me, you just never know who you fail with when doing articles.
    The good news is that I haven't got many days left of the pneumonia and then I get rid of 4 tablets per day.

    Cheers, Laurence. Writer/Editor/Proofreader.
    Website / Blog for more info.

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  • Profile picture of the author Anne0521
    As a saying goes' No one travels the highways of success without passing the roads of failure'. I guess the best thing to do is to accept that failure is always part of the game. If you fail, don't dwell on it for so long. Move on! Keep on motivating yourself. Just don't give up easily.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Ebook
    The trick is to not be consumed with self. Focus on others, focus on your goals, focus on your progress, and then you'll find that self-esteem doesn't matter.
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  • Profile picture of the author writerval
    Napoleon Hill is a great teacher on this topic. He writes:

    "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit."

    There are always lessons - and benefits - in failure. I think we are all progressing, even when it seems like we are not.

    "It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot

    Web Writing That Converts...Web Content That Captivates

    Learning About Happiness One Thought at a Time

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  • Profile picture of the author Lokahi
    Realize that everyone does fail and that one day you will succeed. Think that you can do it and you will someday. Have faith. If you constantly think you are going to fail, guess what? You will!
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  • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
    Change your perception of failure. You seem to be defining failing with being a loser or something negative but, it's only negative if you think it is. Going on difficult ventures and failing will strengthen your will and your self discipline. Understand that even some of the most famous and successful people went through some difficult failures and some of them failed a lot but they kept moving forward.

    The smart people use their anger and frustration to push themselves to work harder and smarter. Life isn't fair and there is nothing you can do about it, but if you're willing to persist through the struggle you can achieve the success you're looking for.
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  • Profile picture of the author cjp214
    Repeat after me: "failure is imaginary!"

    The concept of failure only exists in the human mind. Think about it... does a lion on the hunt worry about "failing" when the gazelle gets away? No. She just finds another one (or however many it takes) until she gets what she wants.

    Sometimes we hit what we're aiming at, sometimes we don't. That's a basic reality of life. When you don't hit what you're aiming at, ask yourself what you learned from it, make adjustments, and keep pushing. The more willing you are to "fail," push through it, and get better, the more extraordinary your life will become.

    Thinking about things in this perspective has been liberating for me, so I hope it helps you too!

    Good luck,

    ...............................Do Your Ads Turn Your Prospects Off?
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  • Profile picture of the author Rsherwood
    It seems like you are conceptualizing your future based on your past. DONT!

    Alright so growing up we tend to not listen to our parents as what do they know right? haha

    But if its one thing my Mum always said it was
    "You can never look back, only move forward!"

    And you know what shes right! Take your past, turn it into a positive.

    Dont think Ive been a failure, think Ive tried to do it and it didnt turn out the way I had wanted it to that time around.

    But I do want to add that you will find somethings are just not worth your time, it is up to you to realize that and move on to a better investment of time.

    Oh and by the way, you only fail when you quit!

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  • Profile picture of the author joesfortune
    I have some good articles in my blog for increasing self-esteem. You can pay it a visit and see if they help. Increasing self-esteem starts with knowing yourself. I mean yourself, not what other think of you.

    Joseph M. Dabon
    Blogger and freelance writer. I belong to Ezine's Expert Author, Diamond, level. Visit me at

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