How Much Weight Do You give to the Opinions of Your Family?

16 replies
I don't know about you, but my loved ones are completely contrasted when it comes to what I'm doing.

Yesterday I accomplished a personal goal, posting my first free WSO! I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I put a lot of work into it, and went through many firsts to get it live, so I was really excited about it!

I immediately told my closest two family members, who I know to be positive people. They congratulated me, said that they had no idea how I did it, and told me how proud of me they were. I was so happy and proud that I could have cried!

Now, normally I would have stopped with those two people, but I worked up my nerve and I tried to share with the less positive people in my life, and at best that I got was an unenthusiastic "congratulations", and the 3rd degree.

It was free to post this, right?
What e-mail host are you using?
What website host are you using?
Did you actually spend time working on it?
How much time did you actually put into this?
You'd better make sure that your hosting is in good standing with Google and monitor them from now on.
Even if they're good now, you could be in a lot of trouble if they're not in good standing in the future.
Why won't you do what I want you to do? All you want to do is work on your free WSO! (12+ hours after it was posted, when I was doing completely WSO-unrelated things)
etc.

It was by no means unexpected, but it made me sad, nevertheless. You should always be able to share with your loved ones, and they should be able to celebrate your successes with you, even if the specific event is not important to them.

That being said, it's really easy to say that you should listen to the positive people and ignore the negative ones, but it's a lot harder to do when they're both a part of your family.

How do you approach situations like this? Do you have family members and/or close friends who don't agree with what you're doing?


( Thank you for reading ^_^ )
#family #free wso #give #negative #opinions #positive #weight
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    at least you have rule number one down .

    It is much easier to ask for forgivness (or beg) than ask permission .

    my guess is you where better off doing it the way you did .. now you have the list of things to take care of next time around after you get what you can out of this one .

    the key here is you did something and you did something work or fail you can build from and learn from .

    frankly if the opinion of anyone in my family ..would be whats a wso ..and people making money from these things .
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    My family know I write "online" about diabetes and "other stuff" but that is all. They don't live with me so who cares what they think.
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    Writer/Editor/Proofreader.

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  • Profile picture of the author devonm
    Fortunately my parents approve of what I do online bigtime. I couldn't be as "chuffed" about that more than anything else. I just feel so fortunate about this.

    Everyone else with others not this supportive, laugh at yours when you come up supporting yourself and your family from IM.
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  • Profile picture of the author SShip
    We all have different likes and interests. The most important thing is you do what makes you happy, not what makes others happy. As long as you're keeping up with your responsibilities, it shouldn't matter. Stay positive.
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  • Profile picture of the author drem
    I have found that success is more of a personal endeavor than anything else. I have also had the same experiences you have had with family members. When I was not making a lot of money, they would always say "I think it is better to get a real job." However, when things turned around and I started making substantial amounts of money (for me and most people, but not rich), I heard something new "How do you pay for healthcare? Healthcare would be better if you had a job with someone else. You do not get sick pay - right?"

    I learned that no matter what I did, their responses are negative. When a person sees my family, they always mention how positive and delightful they are. No one in my family means any malice behind their words, but they are downright hurtful in their own way. However, I am paving my way to my own success. I work for myself, I spent 2 weeks in Europe recently and do not have the stress that they have.
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    • Profile picture of the author devonm
      Originally Posted by drem View Post

      I have found that success is more of a personal endeavor than anything else. I have also had the same experiences you have had with family members. When I was not making a lot of money, they would always say "I think it is better to get a real job." However, when things turned around and I started making substantial amounts of money (for me and most people, but not rich), I heard something new "How do you pay for healthcare? Healthcare would be better if you had a job with someone else. You do not get sick pay - right?"

      I learned that no matter what I did, their responses are negative. When a person sees my family, they always mention how positive and delightful they are. No one in my family means any malice behind their words, but they are downright hurtful in their own way. However, I am paving my way to my own success. I work for myself, I spent 2 weeks in Europe recently and do not have the stress that they have.
      Anyhow, you have your revenge by living with lower stress and so forth than they do. Laugh now.
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  • Profile picture of the author joesfortune
    What is WSO?
    Signature

    Joseph M. Dabon
    Blogger and freelance writer. I belong to Ezine's Expert Author, Diamond, level. Visit me at
    http://withinyouisyoursuccess.com/

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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by joesfortune View Post

      What is WSO?

      now for some reason i believe it means warrior special offer ..
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  • Profile picture of the author HeadStartSEO
    More than I should, and less every day.

    I learned at too late of an age (late teens) that I was more social intelligence than my parents. That doesn't mean I don't respect them, or even listen to them carefully.

    It just means that they rarely know what's best for me.

    When you dig down, there is only one person who could ever know what's best for you.
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  • cajtrixie, your post was kind and thoughtful. I share your sadness over loved ones who appear to have little interest in what you are doing and may even try to belittle you and your efforts. Here is my approach borrowed from "the work":

    "You should always be able to share with your loved ones, and they should be able to celebrate your successes with you, even if the specific event is not important to them. "

    The above statement appears to be the one with the most pain in it. I would seriously question this thought, this belief: that you should always be able to share with your loved ones, and they should be able to celebrate your successes with you, even if the specific event is not important to them. It may turn out not to be true and you may find a way to free yourself of the painful belief that "they should" do anything to, for or with you. It's actually just the way it is in life: quite a mixture. But, it is important to find out if that particularly painful thought is true.

    I wish you the best with your emotional side and congratulate your intellectual side for the remarkable accomplishment you have attained; alone! Yippee for you.

    LLS
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    • Profile picture of the author cajtrixie
      Thank you so much for all of the wonderful responses!

      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      ... now you have the list of things to take care of next time around after you get what you can out of this one .

      the key here is you did something and you did something work or fail you can build from and learn from....
      It's true! I can learn from the experience that I had, and use it to build off of for my next endeavor!


      Originally Posted by devonm View Post

      Fortunately my parents approve of what I do online bigtime. I couldn't be as "chuffed" about that more than anything else. I just feel so fortunate about this.
      You are so lucky to have such understanding parents! I would tell you to cherish them, but it sounds like you already do! ^_^ <3!


      Originally Posted by drem View Post

      I learned that no matter what I did, their responses are negative. When a person sees my family, they always mention how positive and delightful they are. No one in my family means any malice behind their words, but they are downright hurtful in their own way. However, I am paving my way to my own success. I work for myself, I spent 2 weeks in Europe recently and do not have the stress that they have.
      Ah, you DO know what it's like. -_- I'm honestly sorry to hear that. But, I'm happy to hear that you've found your own personal success, and that you seem to be enjoying it!

      I guess if nothing else, we should just be happy that people here, on the forum, understand. They may not technically be family, but they're a sort of family, and that's close enough! ^_^
      Signature

      Click Here to learn how to...
      Build your reputation. Get traffic. Make more sales. Earn More Money.
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      • Profile picture of the author cajtrixie
        Originally Posted by HeadStartSEO View Post

        More than I should, and less every day... When you dig down, there is only one person who could ever know what's best for you.
        *smiles* I'm with you on that first part. I keep trying to care less about what they think, and do over time, but it's not an easy road to travel, as you also seem to know.

        Honestly, thank you for your kind and inspirational words. =^-^=


        Originally Posted by LastingLifeSuccess View Post

        cajtrixie, your post was kind and thoughtful. I share your sadness over loved ones who appear to have little interest in what you are doing and may even try to belittle you and your efforts. Here is my approach borrowed from "the work":
        ... It may turn out not to be true and you may find a way to free yourself of the painful belief that "they should" do anything to, for or with you. It's actually just the way it is in life: quite a mixture. But, it is important to find out if that particularly painful thought is true.

        I wish you the best with your emotional side and congratulate your intellectual side for the remarkable accomplishment you have attained; alone! Yippee for you.

        LLS
        Thank you so much for such a kind and thoughtful response! It sounds like you are going through something similar, and for that I am sorry.

        Logically, I think that your approach is the right thing to do. However, the concern that I have is that the whole point of bonding with someone is to share with them. If you can not share, then there is no bond (or if there is, it starts to break). I suppose that the idea of losing a bond is what saddens me the most, but in the end, perhaps it's for the best.

        And thank you for the congratulations! Luckily, my mom and a family friend are very supportive, so I wasn't quite doing it alone. ^_^ lol They are the 2 most important people to me in the whole world! They are also very weird, not "normal", AT ALL, and that's one of the many reasons why I love them. XD hahahahaha

        Anyway, thank you again. I was honestly touched by your response, and am so glad that you took the time to write it! <3! Have a wonderful day!


        Originally Posted by Art of Marketing View Post

        When you are on the outside looking in all you know is there are some shysters on the internet trying to teach others how to be sneaky.

        ...This post made me go check out your new WSO thanks! There is a marketer in here somewhere!

        Thanks for sharing and wish you great success on your project.

        -Art
        It's so true! Everyone thinks that marketers are shady snake-oil salesmen! It's the same for used car dealership people, I think. Heck, even *I* thought that before I knew what internet marketing was!

        And thank you for both reading and checking out my free WSO! I hope it comes in handy for you! ^-^
        Signature

        Click Here to learn how to...
        Build your reputation. Get traffic. Make more sales. Earn More Money.
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  • Profile picture of the author keith88
    Originally Posted by cajtrixie View Post

    I don't know about you, but my loved ones are completely contrasted when it comes to what I'm doing.

    Yesterday I accomplished a personal goal, posting my first free WSO! I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I put a lot of work into it, and went through many firsts to get it live, so I was really excited about it!

    I immediately told my closest two family members, who I know to be positive people. They congratulated me, said that they had no idea how I did it, and told me how proud of me they were. I was so happy and proud that I could have cried!

    Now, normally I would have stopped with those two people, but I worked up my nerve and I tried to share with the less positive people in my life, and at best that I got was an unenthusiastic "congratulations", and the 3rd degree.

    It was free to post this, right?
    What e-mail host are you using?
    What website host are you using?
    Did you actually spend time working on it?
    How much time did you actually put into this?
    You'd better make sure that your hosting is in good standing with Google and monitor them from now on.
    Even if they're good now, you could be in a lot of trouble if they're not in good standing in the future.
    Why won't you do what I want you to do? All you want to do is work on your free WSO! (12+ hours after it was posted, when I was doing completely WSO-unrelated things)
    etc.

    It was by no means unexpected, but it made me sad, nevertheless. You should always be able to share with your loved ones, and they should be able to celebrate your successes with you, even if the specific event is not important to them.

    That being said, it's really easy to say that you should listen to the positive people and ignore the negative ones, but it's a lot harder to do when they're both a part of your family.

    How do you approach situations like this? Do you have family members and/or close friends who don't agree with what you're doing?


    ( Thank you for reading ^_^ )
    I don't care.... if they say something negative it has very little weight. Because when I make it they are going to be the ones with their hand out lol. It takes a lot of mental strength to deal with that. Yes its hard but how bad do you want to make it? You want to live to make them happy or make yourself happy?
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  • Profile picture of the author emanadel
    keith88 i did read all ur post but u know why cuz i miss that kind of support , i was very succeed in my life cuz every one in my family was supporting me with real love , and i was always sharing with them what i want to do next , so they can say most world i like in my life " congratulations " , but now there is no one around me even friend , i got married 5 years ago and i leaft my country to live with my husband in his country and guess what he never support me never say a good word for me . so listen every one if u have ur family around u or a good friend try as much as u can do not lose them , u don't know how is horrible ur life with out ur family
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery Moss
    It can be difficult to share something so important with a beloved family member, only to have it thrown back in your face. But, really unless the other person is a niche expert like you are, then how do they really understand what you are doing? So if they are making negative comments related to your achievement, then their judgement not really relevant as it's not based on facts or reality. Still, it would be nice if family members, would just smile and offer congratulations, rather than trying to be the expert in a field they know nothing about.
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