New Year Resolutions are STUPID..

What you've written is totally correct... The first time my New Year's Resolutions actually started happening was when I stopped started to work from that moment to form a habit that would lead me to my goal.

It's all about creating a lifestyle around your goal instead of trying to make it happen all at once.

Hi Joe,

I don't agree with everything you have written but still you have raised some very good points.

I guess it's easy to think, yeah, I can do this and this and this, but it turns out to be a lot tougher than just thinking about it.

It's better to figure out a change that you are pretty sure you can stick to, than plan to change your whole life. I like this bite-size idea, I think it could work.

Off to think of bite-size things I can change.........starting with making weekly plans every week I think.......

Best wishes,

Ruth

The secret to discipline is remembering what you want.

I agree with everything you're saying. In 2008 I wasn't really where I wanted to be in life. I was about to turn 30 and no matter how "good" things were starting to go financially, I still just felt like something was missing and there were things I wanted to change about myself.

I started with my weight. I used to be a pretty big guy, about 260 lbs and smoked a pack a day. I'm only 5'10 so at that weight I was wearing pants with a 42" waist... I always felt awkward, even when in really nice clothes, it just felt like nothing fit right unless it was custom tailored. I hated the thought of exercise, so I knew that even if I "pushed through it" I wouldn't ever stick with a gym membership and would just gain the weight back, the drastic new years resolution style changes wouldn't work. I needed to figure out a way to do it on my own terms. But I also have 3 kids, so simply "not buying snacks and stuff" wasn't an option.

This is going to sound kind of weird and you'll probably laugh... I took a picture of myself shirtless in the "Demi Moore Pose" - the 1991 vanity fair cover where she posed pregnant (Google it if you have no idea what I'm talking about). I taped that picture of myself to the fridge and in the cabinet where the chips and snack foods are kept.

Every time I felt like snacking, I would have to look at that picture. I hated it... and every time I looked at it, it reminded me that my desire to change the way I looked was stronger than my appetite.

The first ten pounds came off pretty quick.

The next 20 took longer, but I was feeling better. I had more energy, wasn't as tired. My clothes were loose. I started to shift from simply "eating less" to eating less and making healthier decisions when I did eat.

After losing that first 30, just from that simple habit change, I added a daily walk to my routine. One mile... nothing major, but I was the start of a routine. No excuses. Rain or shine, I would change before I left the office and hit a trail on the way home. I found those walks gave me some alone time to think and plan out my next day, and as the time went on I realized that little bit of clarity was helping me think through business decisions and make better ones.

Those one mile walks eventually became two, then four. I wasn't smoking on my walks, and I was drinking a lot of water so the nicotine cravings were diminished. e-cigarettes came out and I switched to one of those and found that not smoking also gave me more energy. The walks slowly turned into a walking/jogging mix. Then just jogging. Still rain or shine, still had the pic on the fridge.

One year and 90 lbs later, I was waking up every morning at 5 am and doing a 2 mile run. If you had told me a year earlier that I would be a fit non-smoker who woke up at 5:00 in the morning and ran two miles every day, I'd have laughed at you.

Four years later I'm still following the same routine. The pic isn't on the fridge anymore, I no longer need it. I'll be 35 in two weeks, in better shape than I was in high school, all by starting small and sticking with it. I've still never been to a gym.

New Years Resolutions are stupid. Be the person you want to be by doing the things the person you want to be does. Small goals first ... The funny thing about goals is that you're never actually satisfied. It's temporary, there will always still be something you want. My goal was never to "lose 90 lbs" - if it had been, I probably wouldn't have reached it, it would have been a pipe dream. My goal was to "not look like that". That's it. Each achievement is a milestone that leads to the next one.

without New Years Resolutions, 99.9% of the people would have none at all

I agree what Joe has written, human brain works better with small changes. Small changes are easy to control. We all know it is difficult to break our habits, but if we take one step at a time things seem easy.

I use a method I call "Anniverserising" which uses the opportunity of easy-to-remember milestones to make changes. For example "since my birthday, since Christmas day, this year, since I had my big car accident, since the start of school holidays"...etc. I just makes it easy to remember how long it's been.

If I start something on a non-descript day that means nothing, I find it's more difficult to quickly think back how long it's been. This is why I think people use January 1 to try again for their "goals".

"SLOW BUT STEADY WINS THE RACE".... I personally believe in this proverb. But, sometimes we need to give up the bad habit of procrastination. Of course, a new year is a new number and it creates a sense of new start in our brain, in our mind. But, with time the feel and excitement fades away and the habit of procrastination dominates. So, only starting afresh is not going to make any difference, you need to be consistent and steady again.

I do agree wholeheartedly with making small changes rather than sweeping ones though.

For example, it's why "Fast" weight loss schemes are so popular and such miserable failures - if people struggling with their weight simply made minor changes to their diet over time and focused on the long-term benefits, they'd ultimately reach and stay at their desired weight. Ditto for increasing their level of activity and exercise.

Sure, it may take five years, but those who stick to it don't bounce back like those who go for a quick fix.

A goal, any goal, has to be realistically achievable and generally doesn't need to be accomplished within a narrowly defined, artificial time-frame.[/QUOTE]

While I agree with a lot of what is here, I want to take issue on this particular item.

I personally agree that it has to be realistically achievable, but I personally have found that a specific target is a necessity, if you want to get there.

My own statement on this would be - set yourself a goal.
Be very specific, and feel that you can hit it. I would recommend going to something that is abit out of your normal comfort zone, to really get going there.
A step further, I would write down the goal, post it, and read it daily.
I do think the above post about the pictures up around the house can definitely help - it can keep you motivated.
The trick with keeping any new years resolution is more than saying I will do it, but having this goal and reminders to get yourself there!

Totally agree with you. I actually wrote a blog post on this same topic, if anyone is interested:

thathungrymind.blogspot.ca

Something that I see a lot at the gym every year are a sudden influx of newcomers to the gym every January, and then a gradual decrease until the people who were regulars the previous year were the only ones left. But there have been instances where I've noticed, for example, this middle aged man who was overweight. He took dancing classes every week, and every week, I would notice him in the dance studio. A year later, he still comes every week, and he has lots so much weight that I would never have known he was the same person that I first saw. Consistency is the key.

Thanks, Joe, for this reminder that good things don't happen overnight. Breaking down your resolutions into bits and pieces that you can eliminate over a period of time is much easier than going for the big picture of "I'm going to quit smoking, starting today" or "I'm going to cut out sugar completely from my diet starting today". Cutting out that morning cigarette or that morning muffin and replacing it with something healthy is a lot easier than trying to do it all at once. It may take longer, but you're more apt to stick with it. And when you see results, you'll be more excited to move on to the next phase of cutting out one more thing.

I totally agree with you. New Year's resolutions are stupid UNLESS you're willing to be patient, use some will power and have some common sense as to how much you know you can give up for a good length of time in order to see good results.

I agree to an extent that new years resolutions can be bullshit. I've been wanting to make progress for a whole year, but I got a breakthrough just earlier this month.

Basically the whole idea of new years resolution is just another form of procrastination: "I'll do it tomorrow".

What really got my own engine going was the resolution to thrive towards what I really want STARTING NOW. Not a moment later, because that's just more bullshit.

It's not enough to make a "promise to yourself", but actually remind yourself constantly of why you are willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. You have to have a clear image of your dream to burst through the brick wall.

Results so far: I've fixed my sleep schedule, which has been irregular and horrible for over a decade. I've been super productive for a while now and am not lacking energy: I've started exercising, learned to cook, learning two languages and I'm writing 2-3 well researched articles a day + building my social media presence.

The change is pretty immense, considering that I was before just watching movies and browsing reddit.

No new years resolution needed.

Hi Joe,

Good points! NOW exists. Time is an illusion. I like New Moment Resolutions. Keeps me hungry, driven and focused without looking at a calendar. I would NEVER, going forward, allow numbers on a piece of paper, or calendar, to rule my life.

I choose to take seemingly tiny steps in each moment to create my life to order. I remember why I am taking the steps to keep myself focused.

Great share, thanks!

I think you got it right on the first line.

Resolutions are stupid…if you can’t keep ‘em when you make ‘em all year long –
What makes you think that you can keep ‘em, -

Just coz the page of that calendar has been flipped?

All the best. Regards.

Joe, Good post. Some people believe that it takes 21 unbroken occurences to create a habit (eg go for a run 21 days in a row, write 3 articles 21 days in a row etc). If you do that, by the time the 21 days is up the new action is a habit so you just carry on. Another reason NY resolutions don't work is people usually associate them with negative actions (eg stop eating chocolate/stop smoking) and for long periods (stop eating chocolate...forever) so quickly become disenchanted. This is a 'running away from' situation which the mind hates. What you need to do is turn the required end state into a 'running towards' desire. That makes the whole outcome more pleasurable. So really they should be looking at what result they want (healthy body) and then determining what new habit they can create to achieve the outcome (cut down/cut out chocolate/smoking). A subtle but powerful change of emphasis.

I'm all about changing the way I use my words..

I don't want a new years resolution.. I want a life resolution. If that comes in the middle of the year, 5 minutes after a meeting, 2 days after my birthday.. so be it.

But to say, "hey I'm going to stop everything I was doing and change because everyone else is.. and it's a new year"... nah not interested.

If I am in the mood to change something, I change it.

Brian Tracy says to write them down. That worked for me.

I must admit your title is very catchy. Good job.