The most painful feeling in the world is...

31 replies
The most painful feeling in the world isn't change...

It's resisting change.

Change is who you are.

It's the only constant, right?

And yet...

Rarely do we embrace change with nothing but acceptance and excitement.

Why is that?

Why are we conditioned to fear and resist change - when it's so natural?

Feeling stuck, hopeless, scared of the unknown and doing the same thing, everyday, just because that's what you did the day before is what's... unnatural.

Pain comes from knowing what you want... and knowing you're so far away from it.

Okay...

I take that back.

REAL pain comes from knowing what you want... and subconsciously realizing you're never going to let go of what's getting in the way of achieving the image in your mind's eye.

That's pain...

To stand in your own way of true happiness and bliss.

That's pain...

To stand in your own way of experiencing what you really want.

That's pain...

To stand in your own way of moving beyond what you're so frickin' over.

That's pain.

And it's all of your creation.

Congratulations.

The question is...

Do you want a difference experience?

Because IF the image you're holding in your mind's eye is REALLY what you want, you've absolutely gotta release everything that acts as resistance to it.

Easier said than done, right?

You'd already be where you imagine yourself - if letting go was that easy.

There's the rub...

Success, especially in IM, is effortless. (Except for the hard work part.)

Yes, easy.

Quit getting in your own way and embrace change.

Mark

P.S. This post is deliberately abstract.
#feeling #painful #world
  • Profile picture of the author ryanbiddulph
    Mark, change hurts, and so does growth....I love the pain because it gets me past suffering lol.....change is good; proves that you are alive. Resist change, you resist life, and feels as if you are dying.....which is where the prolonged suffering comes in.

    Well said!
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  • Profile picture of the author jackieshroff93
    mark you are true. everywhere always pain.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
      Originally Posted by ryanbiddulph View Post

      Mark, change hurts, and so does growth....I love the pain because it gets me past suffering lol.....change is good; proves that you are alive. Resist change, you resist life, and feels as if you are dying.....which is where the prolonged suffering comes in.

      Well said!
      Again, change doesn't hurt. Resisting it does.

      Dive into that.

      Why is it true?

      Here's my take...

      We're creatures of habit (which is actually a contradiction to our authentic nature.)

      We do the same things - hoping for different results (definition of insanity, right?)

      But why?

      ...Why would anyone do the same thing and expect a different result... without changing?

      The answer?

      People have this misconception that who you are, RIGHT NOW, is the person who will be enjoying internet-made-millions.

      That's a lie.

      It won't be the YOU of RIGHT NOW that gets to enjoy those fist-pumping-breakthroughs that make this work so fulfilling.

      Instead...

      It'll be the guy or gal who stands toe to toe with his or her limiting beliefs, judgments and stories...

      ...and says, "These things aren't real!"

      In other words...

      You have to acknowledge the stuff you hold onto - before you can let go of it.

      You have to acknowledge the beliefs and judgments that STOP you from taking the right (and effortless) inspired action.

      Make sense?

      After all...

      "An illusion is only real... if you believe it."

      An example of such an illusion is...

      "It's hard to make more than $5,000 a month."

      It is true?

      Heck no!

      Is it true for the majority of people on this planet.

      Actually, yes.

      Why?

      ...Why is something so easy to do rarely done by the masses (online or off?)

      Answer?

      Because they hold onto stuff. That's the simple answer.

      The more elaborate answer comes down to the fact that certain habits, like believing making more than $5,000 a month is hard, becomes a part of your very identity.

      So if you stand toe to toe with that belief, you're challenging your very identity.

      And that kind of change is scary. So people resist it. And the pain ensues.

      But here's an alternative...

      Let's say you make $2,000 a month.

      And your bills are $1,700 a month.

      You're left with $300 a month for food.

      Towards the end of the month, a bunch of friends are going out to dinner and invite you to come.

      The problem is...

      You've got about $15 left in your pocket.

      And there's still another week left.

      What happens?

      How do you feel?

      Pretty crappy, right?

      It makes you REALLY uncomfortable, right?

      Good.

      Dive into that discomfort and acknowledge, "I'm creating this discomfort. It isn't happening to me." That's it. Just by doing THAT, you're starting to align yourself with change. Easy goes it.

      After a while...

      Your "emotional charge" will diminish.

      And opportunities to break your $2,000 glass ceiling will automatically pop up - out of nowhere. (And yes, you still have to take MASSIVE action, which yes, will feel uncomfortable. What's a guy to do when that happens? Hmmmm...)

      Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author Ron Lafuddy
    It really comes down to perspective doesn't it?

    "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change" - Wayne Dyer.

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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
      Originally Posted by Ron Lafuddy View Post

      It really comes down to perspective doesn't it?

      "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change" - Wayne Dyer.

      Wayne Dyer - When you change the way you look at things - YouTube
      I didn't watch the video, but I'm familiar with Wayne's work.

      And he's right.

      Change the inside to shift the outside.

      But wait...

      Isn't reality happening out there - with or without my input?

      Don't I just have to do the best I can to navigate the challenges and obstacles as they HAPPEN TO ME?

      Well... no.

      But that's how most people think.

      So even though changing the way we think (and feel) is vital to creating new potentials, it's still almost impossible for a great deal of people to reconcile, "The internal world of sensations manifests the external experience."... which is what we're really talking about.

      They're still focusing on changing the stuff out there - rather than looking at the stuff happening on the inside.

      There's a BIG rub too...

      You're only able to see what your current beliefs allow.

      That one truth almost forces people to point at "reality" and say, "See this keeps happening to me - no matter what I do."

      ...Even though they're doing the same thing again and again and again.

      The repetitious circumstances they're dealing with become this self-fulfilling-prophecy.

      The point is...

      You can't look out there for the change you want.

      You have to pay attention to how your circumstances rile up emotional charges inside of you.

      That's where the power is.

      That's where the change is.

      Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author datingworld
    Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

    Pain comes from knowing what you want... and knowing you're so far away from it.
    thats a reality, it's very true
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  • Profile picture of the author blacsocial
    I believe the most important part of life is change, the pain just reminds you of why the change is taking place.
    "Change is the law of life, those who look to the past or present are certain to miss the future." JFK
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    the problem is we are not equipped to deal with the cganges at the pace they are happening now ..and a lot of people are waiting for it to settle and get back to normal.

    everyones idea of what money is. is close to changing .. money is a huge point of resistance for everyone or almost everyone. money only has value when people believe it has value .. but currently money we have has nothing backing it but the belief in it's value .

    i was yobrdoed by the crash in the economy .. in losing everything i had worked for i changed my outlook ..very very very slowly . but i have identified where the biggest shift in the economy will be and am working at postioning myself their ..just starting with 0 cash is not easy ..

    getting blindsided and crushed by sudden change i far more painfull than resisting it ..
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    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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    • Profile picture of the author ClickDale
      I disagree. For me the most painful feeling in the world is REGRET.

      I remember feeling regret for missed opportunities, regret for not speaking my mind, for not taking action, for making poor career choices, for hurting a loved one, for not pursuing a business venture, etc. You cannot go back and undo these things. I found out the hard way that regret can last a life time.

      This all changed for me back around 2010-ish. Back then i made it a mental goal to never be plagued with regret for as long as I live--EVEN IF IT HURTS. Sure i can get beat down by bullies for protecting an innocent person getting picked on. Yes I might start that business idea that I have, only to see it fail. At least i won't feel a life time of regret wondering "what if i would have done something about it?"

      I challenge you all to do the same. I wish you all the best of luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Fame
    It's simpler than all of that. Pain comes from regret, moving past comfort zones, etc..... Fear/loss, whatever. But ultimately...

    Pain comes from expectation.

    When you expect something to happen, and it fails, you feel pain.
    When you expect something to not happen, and it works, you feel pain.

    Either way, the only painless way is to stop expecting and to start moving on without giving a damn about your ego or your "fear".

    - James
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    Fire me a pm if you have a question. I build businesses and provide consulting. I do not do finance/money/internet marketing niches. Fitness, self-improvement and various others are welcome.

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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
      Originally Posted by James Fame View Post

      It's simpler than all of that. Pain comes from regret, moving past comfort zones, etc..... Fear/loss, whatever. But ultimately...

      Pain comes from expectation.

      When you expect something to happen, and it fails, you feel pain.
      When you expect something to not happen, and it works, you feel pain.

      Either way, the only painless way is to stop expecting and to start moving on without giving a damn about your ego or your "fear".

      - James
      Pain doesn't come from expectation. That's a pretty big assumption.

      Sure, for some people (who set themselves up for failure... and then give up,) expectation is just damning themselves to experience tons and tons of pain.

      But for people who function from the knowing that failures happen and success is inevitable...

      ... they frickin' adore expectation (and it's big sister, anticipation.)

      As far regret goes...

      It is painful. Agreed. I've done a lot of things I regret. But you've got to keep moving forward... and embrace change. That's the quickest path to overcoming the past.

      Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    meh..


    real pain is having no one in your life supporting the change you need to make in order to improve your life ..and worse having those around you pretty much needing to keep you a friggen mess because they get a lot of benifit from you being a mess .

    and then every time you ask for help from outside .. arm chair phtyoligist try to guess what your real problem is ..and pretty much do the same thing your family does .

    anyway .. most people have no idea what they really want..they have a long list of what they do not want ..
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    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      real pain is having no one in your life supporting the change you need to make in order to improve your life ..and worse having those around you pretty much needing to keep you a friggen mess because they get a lot of benifit from you being a mess .
      Nobody can dictate what you can or can't do. Stop looking for others to support you, choose what you want... and embrace the process of getting there. You don't need approval, acknowledgement or support.

      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      anyway .. most people have no idea what they really want..they have a long list of what they do not want ..
      Contrast is great. Knowing what you don't want is a big step.

      Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    here i stand broken hearted

    spent a penny and only farted
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  • Profile picture of the author awesummer
    I have to agree with you. The transition between resisting and finally accepting the change is when it's painful.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    "Nobody can dictate what you can or can't do. Stop looking for others to support you, choose what you want... and embrace the process of getting there. You don't need approval, acknowledgement or support."

    i agree . so you saying i should walk away from the primary care taker role of both my elderly parents..let one die and the other lose everything before they die.. and look like a complete selfish a hole.. so i can build the life i want .

    thank you finaly a vote of support
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    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      "Nobody can dictate what you can or can't do. Stop looking for others to support you, choose what you want... and embrace the process of getting there. You don't need approval, acknowledgement or support."

      i agree . so you saying i should walk away from the primary care taker role of both my elderly parents..let one die and the other lose everything before they die.. and look like a complete selfish a hole.. so i can build the life i want .

      thank you finaly a vote of support
      First of all...

      Quit being a victim.

      Secondly...

      Your current circumstances don't dictate what you can create later today, tomorrow... or anytime in the future.

      Or course...

      You CAN tell your current story... and watch is keep becoming your reality.

      It's awesome you're taking care of your parents. In all sincerity, do it joyously. And acknowledge that it CAN'T limit you from creating what you REALLY want.

      But as long as there's resistance (like citing your parents as a reason you're maybe not where you want to be), there will be pain.

      Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author objectiveman
    The most painful thing a person can do and experience is being irrational. Since the goal of a human is to survive then any behavior on that human's part which does not adhere to reality jeopardizes the life of that human.
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  • Profile picture of the author baishakhi saha
    I think the most painful feeling is failure.You are trying your best but can not success That is too painful.
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  • Profile picture of the author sssworld
    Its nice to read out your thread mate, feeling good !
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  • Profile picture of the author Statcode
    I like the format of your post - reads like a Sales Copy.

    Don't you think change and transformation are different things?
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  • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
    Great point and I agree with almost all of it. One's potential in life can be quite accurately measured by his or her capacity to embrace change, internal and external.

    I am not sure I would classify any of this as painful though. I would say something like losing your child or a loved one is the most painful feeling. But maybe you meant something else. Regardless, good post.
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  • Profile picture of the author tulikatuli
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author eric669
      When you're in a rush and stuck behind someone going stupidly slow is pretty painful
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    • Profile picture of the author unknowncat
      Originally Posted by Glenn Leader View Post

      You're all wrong... The most painful feeling is loosing a child.
      I can attest to this first hand. Change, meh. Failure, meh.

      Depression, anxiety, loss of the will to live, meh.

      Loosing my son, worst feeling ever.
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  • Profile picture of the author tobyjensen
    I would say the most painful feeling in the world is the fear that comes with the pain of what is keeping you unhealthy that you don’t do anything about. Resisting change would be next for me.

    Imagine a person who is afraid to learn math. Resisting learning math requires avoidance but you still get a negative payoff. By not taking classes to learn math you don’t have to deal with the fear of it. Whatever that is. I imagine it would probably be along the lines of feeling stupid or inferior or something. Resisting the change means you don’t have to feel that as much. The problem is that you can’t completely escape it either. Feeling stupid or inferior or something. For this person feeling the false belief that they are stupid could destroy them. So they come up with this coping skill that is only somewhat effective.

    This is also one of the reasons why therapists are so regulated. Getting a person in touch with these negative feelings might destroy them. It usually doesn’t though but it might. For those that it might destroy – start small, build up to it. You can do it. Everyone who became successful did it.

    Hell was once described to me as meeting the future you that you could have been. Maybe that is it, maybe it is not. Just a thought. Hell is actually just suffering without being able to do anything about it.

    A big part of this problem of change is knowing what you need to do and being able to do it. It is hard, incredibly hard at times. Only it is worth it. After all, what else are we going to do? Sit around in denial? Only then does the reality of pain begin to transcend into enjoyment.

    Feeling the negative emotions in life without being able to do anything about it at unbearable levels – that is pain. Imagine having an itch that you can’t reach no matter what that just simply keeps growing. . .

    The biggest problem to change has been having a simple, clear method that actually works when repeated. Everyone claims to know how to change but if we really did know then addiction, mental illness, and victims would be turned around on the spot. Would a system like this even be allowed to come out? Do people really want change?
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    Invest in what works this time.

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  • Profile picture of the author sarah23
    Great words.
    Pain is necessary somehow in life, it will pave the way to success.
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    "Gathering correct information and taking actions will boom your business.
    Never be afraid of failures and success will follow you"

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  • Profile picture of the author BankableBarry
    Great things never came from comfort zones. Your greatest fears contain your greatest growth. You have to get used to being uncomfortable.
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