How to impress a girl on the first date ? Do you have tips to share ...?

34 replies
This is one question which has troubled Men from the beginning of time.

Greatest Emperors in the history who had world at their feet were as clueless when it came to the matters of heart. They got cold feet and faltered !

So you think you are hit with females then lets hear it from you. Share tips which can help "Men" around the world deal with this difficult subject :-)

All the best !
#date #girl #impress #share #tips
  • Profile picture of the author bnorton2010
    Breathe deep and feel your body in order to get out of your head. Expect nothing. Live in the moment. Easier said than done of course, but you shouldn't feel as if you have to impress anyone. When you are truly in the moment, everything flows naturally and the situation will play out exactly as it is meant to.
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    • Profile picture of the author eric669
      Don't go for the obvious chat up lines
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    It's been said a million times before (and for good reason) however the best advice I can think of is:

    “Be yourself.”

    Seriously. That means that you're not trying to impress her, show off, brag, etc. That you have your own mind when it comes to the conversation. (Instead of agreeing with your suitor about everything.) And, that you're happy, relaxed, in the moment, and care-free.

    Then, if being yourself isn't good enough, either think about working on these suggestions, or move onto other partners who may be a better match.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
    Be your best self.

    Be light and fun. Life is serious enough. She doesn't her dates to serious. This also takes a lot of social pressure off her and allows her to be more forthcoming and expressive.

    Don't try too hard to be funny for the sake of impressing her though. Make her earn that right.

    Make sure the date centers around a fun or engaging activity. Dinner or a movie or any place where you're confined or have to stare at each other is a horrible date, unless she is already head over heels for you.

    If you have her number, don't ask too many questions leading up to the date, such as what she would like to or when she is available. Give her your availability and say everything is sorted out. Girls don't want to make decisions like these. Have faith in yourself that she will be okay with you deciding and leading. That is what every woman wants in a man.

    If you have any specific questions, feel free to pm or ask here. I help my cliebts with social aptitude and relations so I might be able to transfer some knowledge to you.
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    • Profile picture of the author Memetics
      1/ Be the selector not the selected.
      2/ Be confident, decisive and masculine.
      3/ Assume attraction on her part and act accordingly
      4/ Create mystery and romance around yourself.
      5/ Generate eye contact as often as possible without appearing creepy.
      6/ Sweep her off her feet.

      There's an entire industry based on this with different methods and techniques but the above is a distillation of the core principles.
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      • Profile picture of the author heavysm
        I extrapolate on the "be yourself" line with "don't try to be something you're not".

        I don't actually like this idea of trying to impress the girl on the first date.

        That should just come as a side effect of getting along and having affinity. If she's not into you, don't worry about it. If she's not impressed, okay that's fine lol

        The concentration should be on finding out more about each other rather than trying to wow her. With that said you might have to go through a few dates before you meet the girl where things click.

        It's like the crap where people try to make money, lots of money. Well that comes as a side effect of something else: trying to provide value and help people.

        Too often we lose track of the things that really matter
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      • Profile picture of the author RichBeck
        Originally Posted by Memetics View Post

        1/ Be the selector not the selected.
        2/ Be confident, decisive and masculine.
        3/ Assume attraction on her part and act accordingly
        4/ Create mystery and romance around yourself.
        5/ Generate eye contact as often as possible without appearing creepy.
        6/ Sweep her off her feet.

        There's an entire industry based on this with different methods and techniques but the above is a distillation of the core principles.
        Memetics,

        You pretty much nailed it...

        All The Best,

        Rich Beck BCIP, MCSD, MCIS
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  • Profile picture of the author objectiveman
    According to Psycho Cybernetics one has a creative mechanism that works to achieve one's goals. Assuming your goal is to succeed with a woman then the next step is to make sure your creative goal striving mechanism is functioning properly. It functions properly when you are relaxed and not trying to consciously control the million steps of the way. When you are chronically frustrated you throw a wrench in your creative goal striving mechanism.

    It's like trying to catch a fly ball. You set a goal to catch the fly ball and let your automatic goal seeking mechanism direct your muscles to catch the ball. You don't consciously think about the million muscular steps it takes to get there, you just relax and go catch the ball.
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  • Good manners, lots of money.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Braybrooke
    Focus on her. Be genuine, be interested, ask her questions about her life. Subconsciously we tend to like those people who show a true interest in us. It feels good when we get the chance to share our lives and experiences so allow her to shine!
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  • Profile picture of the author dhruven
    You must give repect to your partner and definetly you have lots of money.
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  • Profile picture of the author Graham Darch
    Don't over react.
    Be natural.
    Be honest.
    Be truthful and the girl is yours
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    if i said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me

    i think it was hall and oates

    think about it
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  • Okay, this sounds cocky, but...

    A few years ago I was worried no girl would ever like me.

    Right now my biggest dating worry is navigating my social circle without hurting the half-a-dozen girls who are interested in me. (Well, 4, but "half a dozen" sounds better.)

    Here's what I changed:

    1. Fake confidence until you're (almost) confident.

    Everyone's attracted to confidence. But very few people are actually confident.

    Those that are are usually too stupid to realize they shouldn't be.

    So fake it.

    Stand up straight.

    Maintain eye contact.

    Think about what the "confident" version of yourself would do, and just do that.

    2. Smile

    I don't know what you look like, but I know you're more attractive when you smile.

    And people like to be around happy people.

    On that note...

    3. Be positive

    Don't complain. Not about the weather, the food, the loud couple behind you. I mean it.

    If you say something negative about someone else, the listener has a tendency to think that what you said is true about you as well.

    And part of being positive is...

    4. Compliment her

    Everyone loves compliments.

    But most people can sense insincerity, so find something you can really compliment her about.

    Be careful with physical traits, though - even her eyes. That's either creepy or intimate, and it's maybe not the best choice early on.

    Clothes are always a good bet - especially shoes. Maybe how she did her hair. Something she spent time on choosing.

    Be attractive

    I had to lose some weight. (And exercise brings confidence.)

    I found a good barber and stopped getting hack-job hair cuts.

    Dress nice. Wear clothes that fit you. You don't have to be the pinnacle of fashion, but make sure you look good in your clothes.

    5. Flirt

    This one takes time, and it's easy to screw up.

    Just accept that you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet, and start going for it.

    Tease her playfully. Work in compliments.

    Look for excuses to touch her. Mis-hear something she said, then touch the small of her back and lean in to hear her say it a second time. I've brushed eyelashes away from cheeks that weren't there. Play up the awkwardness but smile and glance into her eyes while you do it. I said glance, don't stare! That's creepy.

    This is difficult to get right! You've got to feel out the situation to tell if she's going for it. If she stiffens up at teasing or touching, back off. Everyone's different.

    6. Like everyone else said, Be Yourself

    When I first decided to fake confidence, I ended up in a relationship with this sorority girl who thought I was a kind-of-dumb frat boy. We had nothing in common.

    I was faking too much, pretending to be a confident douche instead of a confident Ben (although in all honesty, I'm kind of a douche).

    Don't be afraid to talk about your interests (and make sure you get her talking about hers). Don't be afraid to tell dumb jokes that you think are hilarious.

    Not only is it more attractive, but if you're not compatible, you'll know a lot sooner.

    Overall, like anything else, the more you do it, the better you get.

    Start going for it, and eventually you'll get it.
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  • Profile picture of the author EelKat
    Biggest turn offs for me as a woman are:

    #1: Bragging about money. If the girl is interested in your income, than she's probably not in it for the long haul and is just looking for someone to buy her things. Bragging about money will attract that type of girl to you and she'll break your heart soon as she finds someone with more money than you. So don't start out the first date bragging how much money you have, and consider it a red flag if she starts asking what your income is.

    A girl who is interested in you, wants to hear about YOU, not your money. A girl interested in you, will be turned off by talk of money. Some girls, will be offended by talk of money, because they will feel that you are trying to buy them.

    #2: Complaining about money. As bad as bragging about how much money you have, is complaining about how much money you don't have. If you start griping about bills and loans and paying rent, you'll come off as a loser and a deadbeat and she'll start thinking you are looking to her as a "mommy figure" who will clean up your messes, pay everything for you, and make it all better so you can goof off and not take responsibility for your own actions.

    #3: Talking about sex. Thinking about sex. Mentioning sex. Hinting about sex. Seriously. Pretend you are a celibate monk who wouldn't even dream about sex. If even a hint of sex comes up, you'll come off as a creep, a stalker, a playboy, or someone who's just looking for a one-night-stand...and they will be no second date, not if she's looking for "the one". Women like a man who COULD be a wolf, but has the good sense to be a gentleman instead.

    #4: Bragging for no reason. Trying to make yourself sound bigger, better, whatever, is only going to make yourself sound like you are a nobody making stuff up.

    Part of this same thing is lying. Don't tell her you are the CEO if you are just the mail-room boy...she WILL find out. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually she will find out and than she'll dump you fast. Women do not like being lied to.

    Let me repeat this, because it's important: WOMEN DO NOT LIKE BEING LIED TO!

    #5) Don't be a slob. Remember that most woman bath daily, and wash their cloths frequently. Men can often forget to do either.

    #6) Pay attention to her. If you are with her...be with her...don't take her to the beach and than oogle at the other girls in bikini's, you'll make her feel fat and ugly and she'll want to run off crying. Take her to the beach and strut around with her on your arm like she's a million dollar run way model...make her feel like she's the only girl you see.

    Flirt...with HER...not with the waitress or the girl across the bar.

    Tell her she looks great...don't ask her why she couldn't lose a few pounds, change her hair, and try to look more like Megan Fox.

    A girl wants to know that you are thinking about her, she knows you are thinking about every girl you see, but she wants you to be focused 100% on her and her alone, and the second she senses a hint that you are thinking of another girl, you have opened a can of worms that's going to result in screaming, throwing your food in your face, and making a big scene...girls want your attention and they'll do what it takes to get it, even if that mean embarrassing the hell out of you in front of the cute waitress you were just flirting with.

    Girls are much more ballsy than guys when it comes to making a scene in public. Give her all of your attention because if you don't she'll find other ways to get it and she won't be fazed or embarrassed in the least by making a public scene to get your attention off the other girl and back on her.

    --------

    Other no-nos depend on the woman in question...some women will be offended if you smoke or drink, others won't care, some will dump you if you joke about others, or if you don't like dogs/cats/birds...all depends on the girl so get to know her, talk to her.

    -------

    Things that will USUALLY win her over: paying for the meal/tickets/whatever, opening doors, holding an umbrella in the rain...basically treating her like a lady. Not all girls like this sort of thing, but a lot of girls do and are going to think better of the man who does them.

    Things to impress her:

    #1) Flowers. Guys never buy girls flowers anymore, but it used to be the standard thing, for a guy to show up at the door with flowers. Doesn't have to be anything fancy, even a few daisies you picked along side the road.

    #2) Be yourself. You are not Bill Gates, don't try to pretend you are. You are not Brad Pitt, don't try to be him either. Nothing loses a girl faster than bragging, bragging, bragging, bragging about this and that and the other thing, when it's pretty obvious that you are not any of the things you are saying you are. There's no shame in being the guy who mops floors or flips burgers, and she'll have more respect for the guy who talks about is REAL job, than the guy who brags about the job he pretends he has. Be proud of who you are, take pride in your job no matter what it is, and she'll take pride in it with you. If you hide what you do, she'll think it's a bad thing and start being ashamed of it with you.

    Be yourself also means, if you wear t-shirt and jeans to a fancy dress formal wedding, than don't wear a tux on your first date to try to impress her. Wear your normal cloths...just wash them first and bath, don't show up sweaty and smelly.

    #3) TALK. Don't just sit there, lost in your own head thinking about whatever it is men think about when they zone out and stare blankly into space for hours on end. If she's on a date with you, she wants to get to know you, and she can't do that if you are clammed up and thinking about stock quotes or football scores.

    But don't be all self absorbed and talk about stock quotes and football scores (unless she's into that sort of thing) and other "guy" things. Ask her about her hobbies, her goals, her dreams, what she wants to do with her life, where she sees herself 5 years from now...talk about things that get her to talk with you. If you are talking sports scores and she's looking at her watch, you need to change the conversation around fast...ask if she has any pets, tell you she's pretty, just get off the boring guy topics and get her interested in talking WITH you again.

    Try to find a topic that the two of you are both interested in, so that you can both talk back and forth with each other about it.

    Remember that if only one of you is talking for a long time, the other one is probably bored and itching to get out of there...if you find yourself talking non-stop for more than 10 or 15 minutes, shut up, and change the topic because you're losing her interest if she's stopped responding to the conversation.

    #4) LISTEN. Once you get her talking, don't bebuff her, don't laugh at her, don't belittle her, don't tell her that her ideas are stupid or silly. Just smile, shut up, and listen to what she is saying. Nod approvingly, let her think you think what she is saying is important.

    Sure, this seems reverse of what I just said, but if a guy is talking a girl's ear off, the girl is likely to get up and storm out of the place and never speak to him again; while if the girl is talking the guy's ear off, the guy is more likely to zone out and drift off into the world of sports and stock prices floating around in his head. He'll keep on nodding and saying "yep", "uh-huh", "really", "wow", "you don't say", "yep", "uh-huh", but he'll not hear a word she's saying, and won't jump up and run out of the room saying he's had it with the date.

    Very few girls are going to sit and nod in agreement with you while you chatter about basketball, she'll toss her drink in your face, scream that you are not caring about her feelings and running screaming out of the restaurant, leaving you there clueless and wondering what the heck just happened. That's why it's better for guys to listen to the girl talking, than for the guy to talk and never let her get a word in.

    Very few guys will sit and let a woman talk. Girls like to talk. Girls need someone to sit and listen to them talk. If you can be the guy who sits and listens to every word she has to say (WITHOUT JUDGMENT) no matter how silly or stupid you think what she's saying is, you'll end up with a girl who practically worships the ground you walk on and will brag to her friends about the great, caring, sensitive guy who is a great listener and hangs on her every word.

    #5) Touch. No. Not sex. Touch. Touch her hand. Touch her face. Hug her. Soft, gentle, romantic...in a way that tells her you care about her feelings, but not in a way that implies you are thinking about sex. Many girls are very touchy-feely and like holding hands when you walk, and greeting you with big bear hugs, resting heads on shoulders, sitting very close arm-to-arm in your seats, sitting beside you at the restaurant instead of across from you. Gentle "I'm your friend, your comforter, you are safe with me, you can trust me, I'll protect you, I'm not going to take advantage of you" type touching almost always goes over big with girls. (But if the girl is skittish of touch, some girls are, she's likely been hurt by a guy - physically, hit, beaten, raped, etc - and if she seems scared or jumpy of being touched, pick up on that fast and don't try to touch her again, let her be the one to touch you first instead.)

    ----

    Well, there you go, one girl's perspective on things guys do wrong on first dates and how to avoid doing them.

    Basically be yourself, have fun, focus on her, don't lie, be clean, act respectful, and you'll do fine.
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  • Profile picture of the author datingbanking
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    Also know as centurion card.
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    those that can do

    those that cant spend their lives talking and writing about it
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  • Profile picture of the author JackingJill
    1. Ask her questions about herself. Everyone likes to talk about themselves.
    2. Remember what she said. THIS IS THE IMPORTANT STEP!!
    3. Impress her by REMEMBERING WHAT SHE SAID!

    It's pretty easy. Most women can see right through your bs if you work too hard to "impress" them. You might want to show off your fancy car and buy her pretty flowers (both of which are nice), but if you're not able to connect with her as a human being, pay attention to what she says, and get to know her as an individual, none of the rest matters.
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    • Profile picture of the author cosmopolitan
      The quick answer, never try to impress her. Guide her to form her own conclusions about you with "real" questions, "real" interest and "real" attention...try to actually connect instead of thinking about yourself. And relax. It's all about the fun of getting to know someone new. When you are relaxed and feeling good she will be as well. The best way to impress a woman is to show her how easily you can connect with her. And you do that by not trying to impress her but connecting with her. And that will impress her and you. All the best.
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      • Profile picture of the author SolutionSecrets
        1) Never be someone You're not - Girls hate that
        2) Don't be negative in anyway.
        3) Be calm and be cool
        4) Talk about them rather than yourself; thier life, thier work, what they do, bla bla bla
        5) Don't spill the beans in Everything; i got $$ in bank account, or your personal stuff much
        6) Don't be EGO-istic
        7) Be romantic / flirty / mysterious
        8) Never talk about your ex-gf stuff!!!!
        9) Never talk abt sex

        And tons more.. LOL:p
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  • Profile picture of the author blackli0n
    1. Be used to getting attention from girls. Be used to being around girls.

    ...so perhaps before going on a date with her...it might help for you to ask out a bunch of other stranger random girls so you can get used to being around females you're not familiar with.

    It's a turn-on for women to meet men who are comfortable around girls. I'd start with that. And then yes...do what everybody else says.
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    • Profile picture of the author Memetics
      Originally Posted by blackli0n View Post

      1. Be used to getting attention from girls. Be used to being around girls.

      ...so perhaps before going on a date with her...it might help for you to ask out a bunch of other stranger random girls so you can get used to being around females you're not familiar with.

      It's a turn-on for women to meet men who are comfortable around girls. I'd start with that. And then yes...do what everybody else says.

      This is very true, it's called "pre-selection theory" and it's pre-wired into most female minds as an unconscious attraction switch.

      We men have the attraction switch of physical beauty guiding us; we're looking for healthy symmetrical genes for our offspring. You don't choose to find someone attractive...they just are.

      Well women don't choose to find a pre-selected man attractive either..they just do.

      The hardwiring goes back to prehistoric times when dating for a woman was a very precarious affair; approaching the wrong man could get you killed.

      However...a man already pre-selected by a lot of other women was a good bet for her and her genes: These other women had done all the assessment and filtering for you.

      Ever wondered why you can be out in a bar with your male buddies and you don't get a look off any of the girls, yet next day you can be there with an attractive co-worker or your girlfriend and you see a lot of the girls check you out? Now you know why.

      Ever seen the old footage of the Beatles in concert with crazy screaming women and ladies being carried out on stretchers after fainting? Well that's "super pre-selection" and as a result you get super emotional responses!

      You might be saying to yourself now: "ok Memetics I get the concept but how is it any use on my date? I'm hardly going to bring Elle Macpherson with me to show my pre-selected credentials!"

      Maybe not...but...there is a method called the "dual reality trigger" and this is how you use it.

      At some point, take your date to a crowded bar or venue where there are lots of other girls present, and try to obtain a high vantage point where you can view what's going on around you. After a few minutes excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.

      Pick a route which will take you past the most amount of girls, and as you pass them, trail your hand behind you and "accidently" tap them very lightly on the arm as you pass. The "tapped" girl will look and just assume it was accidental with the bar being so busy and then carry on with what she was doing.

      Meanwhile: Your date will see every girl you pass turn round and check you out as if to say "Hey, he's hot!" just as they would if Brad Pitt walked past them.

      And there you go: Instant pre-selection from a bar full of attractive women.
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  • Profile picture of the author Arun Chandran
    Place a roll of quarters in your pocket.
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  • Profile picture of the author sarah23
    As a girl I can advice not to over react and not to show off. Be honest with her.
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  • Profile picture of the author Derek Felton
    The best piece of advice I ever got to impress a woman is to not care too much. By that I mean listen, but don't give off too much of a thirsty vibe. Make her think by asking good, open-ended questions that display your intelligence.
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  • Profile picture of the author ErinWalsh
    Here's what worked on me:
    1) Share similar interests and use those as talking points on your date
    2) Smile!
    3) Be genuinely interested in what she has to say. To prove you are interested ask pointed questions for more information on what she's talking about
    4) Do out of the ordinary dates. (Our first date was the zoo followed by dinner. Girls usually love animals.)
    5)Find a way to be playful. (He had some board games and after dinner we went to his place, had a couple drinks, and played board games. We had fun talking smack to each other as we played.)
    6) Don't make a move other than a hug and maybe a kiss the first date! If you try to push it you will scare her off! Most women are looking for "The One." If you try to move fast you will show her you're not him.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pedro Lopes
    Be listener and be interested.. The most interesting people in the world are the ones who are interested.

    Cheers!
    Pedro
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  • Profile picture of the author convert411
    This may sound a little weird but every time I have an interaction with a girl I remind myself of four things:
    1. Treat her like a good friend, like an old college buddy.
    2. Never hit on her
    3. Never lie to her.
    4. Leave her better than you found her.

    This may sound trivial but when you think about these 4 things it will change your interaction completely. Instead of trying to impress someone, you are "Being Yourself" which makes you naturally attractive to women which will make them very interested in you.

    You may think that the girl might just put you in the friend-zone if you do this so there is one extra step. There needs to be some human touch and interaction. For example, if she makes you honestly laugh, just lightly touch her arm or elbow. Nothing creepy just a natural touch. This will get her to start thinking about you in a more romantic way.

    My only warning is if you do this around woman they will start to feel incredibly comfortable around you and will want to spend a lot of time with you so make sure you do this with someone you want to spend time with.
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  • Profile picture of the author naimasaba
    I think good personality & honesty.
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  • The trick to impressing women is not trying to impress them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gzarou12
    Confidence without arrogance is attractive. Go to kiss her fairly early but on the cheek not the lips. The cheek is very sensual when kissed softly.
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