Why on earth do I keep sabotaging myself!?!?

23 replies
I have been trying to make money online since 1998.
I have loads of half finished projects lying around on my hard drives.
I have had undergone coaching many times with different coaches.
I KNOW I can do this and make big money online.

Still I keep sabotaging myself.

WHY?
#coaching #earth #money #sabotaging
  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Unconscious belief(s)?

    Something I did several years ago that was helpful was to write down on a piece of paper the heading: "Why I Don't Want To Be Successful." Then I kept writing and writing. Coming up with answers like: "I may change, and I don't want to change."

    Some of them I had never consciously thought of at all.

    So, maybe, if you think it will be helpful, do the same with a heading that makes sense to you.
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    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author olavlind
      Yes it's unconscious / subconscious beliefs.

      The problem is what on earth are they and how the heck do I convince my ego / conditioned mind to let them go?

      Your technique of finding reasons "Why I don't want to be successful" sounds like it may shed some light on things.

      I'll try and see what comes up. Whatever that is, I can try to fix up with some EFT or something and see what happens.

      Hmm...I just had a thought, why not do some EFT on "Even though I don't want to be successful...". That may bring up something.

      Thanks for the suggestion.

      Anyone else have any viewpoints on this?

      I KNOW I have potential million dollar products on my hard drive, in my mind, or on disks that I have done lots of work on already. Problem is there is something that stops me dead in my tracks that I just can't seem to get past.
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  • Profile picture of the author Nick Logan
    How do you sabotage yourself?

    I suggest you stop moving from one strategy to the other, from one guru to the other - and start WORKING on things you learned so far. Don't make another half-product, instead try to complete existing one.
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    • Profile picture of the author olavlind
      Something happens when I get close to something that may actually be profitable. Things stop up. It is as though something deep inside me removes all traces of inspiration and drive. And suddenly something else pops up that is suddenly a lot more interesting than what I KNOW I need to finish up and get out there.

      It doesn't do any good "trying" to complete what I am doing. That won't happen. Not a chance.

      I have actually been physically sick pushing myself across that barrier. Like throwing up, sweating, stomach aches sick. Either that or I get angry at everyone, answering in a way that would indicate that I am angry at anyone around.

      I also have a tendency to invent problems that does not exist just to have another reason not to finish up stuff. Make things much more complicated than they are.
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      • Profile picture of the author Nick Logan
        Hey, I think I know what you are talking about. I used to write some time ago about fear of successs. You will have to do a bit of reprogramming your mind and start reading some books on personal growth. You will make it, don't worry!
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        • Profile picture of the author olavlind
          You name it, I've been through it and read/listened to most of them...Napoleon hill (Think and Grow Rich), Maxwell Maltz (Psycho Cybernetics), Robert Anthony, Harv Eker (both with and without the T.), Tony Robbins (personal power 1+2, Get the Edge etc etc.), Jeff Olson (slight edge), and a boatload of others. I listen to this kind of stuff at least half an hour every day. Have been for many years.

          I KNOW I will get there. Just need to find and get rid of the blocking first.

          Problem is this: I am stubborn, and so is my ego / belief patterns that are stopping me.
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          • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
            Originally Posted by olavlind View Post

            You name it, I've been through it and read/listened to most of them...Napoleon hill (Think and Grow Rich), Maxwell Maltz (Psycho Cybernetics), Robert Anthony, Harv Eker (both with and without the T.), Tony Robbins (personal power 1+2, Get the Edge etc etc.), Jeff Olson (slight edge), and a boatload of others. I listen to this kind of stuff at least half an hour every day. Have been for many years.

            I KNOW I will get there. Just need to find and get rid of the blocking first.

            Problem is this: I am stubborn, and so is my ego / belief patterns that are stopping me.
            looks like too much theory not enough practice
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            • Profile picture of the author olavlind
              Originally Posted by hardraysnight View Post

              looks like too much theory not enough practice
              Yes, absolutely. I like theory and suffer from analysis paralysis.

              Have done my whole life.

              I need to find situations where I have taken appropriate action with a successful result without analyzing things to death first, and do more of that. Action is the problem. Or rather lack of it.

              Problem is I am sitting here analyzing why that is...hmm...time for a change.

              Thanks to everyone. Many different views and good insight.

              Thanks

              ~Olav
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  • Profile picture of the author Malteaser
    Hey Olavlind,

    I was once in your position and it is very normal when you start building your online business. One of the key things to keep in mind is 'What is my why?' - are you doing this so you can travel, to pay a house in cash or pay your daughter's college without having to work 2 - 3 jobs? Keeping your why in mind will help you move on even when you fail because your long term vision is so clear you just want to keep going!

    Also, you need to keep yourself focused by watching successful mindset training videos to keep you focused; these videos produced by entrepreneurs such as Les Brown feed your brain energy and keep you focused. Also you said you have tried different coaches but did you find the one person that is willing to take you by the hand and show you EXACTLY what you need to do? Is your coach accessible?

    I wish you the best of luck and believe you can make it!
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    you are not sabotaging yourself ..

    why would you rather make money online than offline..and sense you have not starved to death in the last 16 years ..you have to be making some money ..from somewhere .

    is there a way to use the large amount of information about how to make money online and adapt it to make more money from what you do offline .

    i realized about 5 years ago ..we longer than that that i wasn't into the fully online type of business ..and i have been searching and building skills to run something offline ..at this point i am getting or tryinh to get funds together to start and urban farming operation ..and use what i have learned about online marketing to build anet based customer managemant system .
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  • Profile picture of the author CG Tsang
    I personally ignore all this crap about unconscious beliefs sabotaging our success. Or that we have limiting beliefs etc.

    If you are not where you want to be. It's either that you don't want it bad enough or you don't truly believe that you can achieve it.

    Cheers,

    C.G.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by CG Tsang View Post

      I personally ignore all this crap about unconscious beliefs sabotaging our success. Or that we have limiting beliefs etc.
      Hi C.G.

      If a person wants to be a successful Entrepreneur bad enough, they will succeed in spite of any unconscious beliefs, like you said.

      However sometimes identifying them can make the process so much easier.
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Glenn Leader
      Originally Posted by CG Tsang View Post

      I personally ignore all this crap about unconscious beliefs sabotaging our success. Or that we have limiting beliefs etc.

      If you are not where you want to be. It's either that you don't want it bad enough or you don't truly believe that you can achieve it.

      Cheers,

      C.G.
      You look like a young man who hasn't had the time to accumulate the detritus that life throws at you. Give it a few years and see if you still think the same way.

      To the OP: I know exactly how you feel. Is it possible that you think your products/services are not good enough? Possibly unfinished if you was to launch right now?

      I learned from the great Mike Litman, who says "You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going". You can always offer a free update to buyers (notice I didn't say upgrade). When I took this on board, I completed one of my best sellers within a weekend, and making sales by the close of the following week. And I received tons of glowing testimonials from that launch. I've since updated the system, and I'm planning a re-launch very soon.

      HTH

      Glenn

      PS. I knew youd read this . Try a Youtube Search for Mike, I'm certain he'll help you get over this roadblock.
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      • Profile picture of the author olavlind
        Originally Posted by Glenn Leader View Post


        To the OP: I know exactly how you feel. Is it possible that you think your products/services are not good enough? Possibly unfinished if you was to launch right now?



        Problem is nothing is ever good enough.

        I have a product that is 100% done. Just need an hour or so work on the sales page, that's all. I thought about giving it away to the war room, and selling it to everyone else for $7. Also have a followup software product that can use the first product for a bonus that I have started. This can sell for $67 or something. Selling this to the list from the $7 / free product could actually set me free.

        Originally Posted by Glenn Leader View Post

        [FONT=&quot]
        I learned from the great Mike Litman, who says "You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going". You can always offer a free update to buyers (notice I didn't say upgrade). When I took this on board, I completed one of my best sellers within a weekend, and making sales by the close of the following week. And I received tons of glowing testimonials from that launch. I've since updated the system, and I'm planning a re-launch very soon.

        HTH

        Glenn

        PS. I knew youd read this . Try a Youtube Search for Mike, I'm certain he'll help you get over this roadblock.
        Will track down Mike Litman and see what he has to say...might be the missing piece.

        Thanks a whole lotta bunches :-)

        ~Olav
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        • Profile picture of the author Jolly Roger
          Maybe you're "just" not doing something that truly inspires you...

          and so you don't feel ready,
          and so you don't feel it's worth it,
          and so you don't feel the price is right,
          and so you don't feel stepping into the spotlight,
          and so you don't feel deserving the reward for your work...

          "Making money" is one thing, living your purpose, your passion, is another one. We all need to find a balance between what we want and what needs to be done.
          Even after being coached to do what works, it can still take years to "digest and get it right".

          As others said, you need to get started. From there, always adapt, never give up
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            I've been through it and read/listened to most of them...Napoleon hill (Think and Grow Rich), Maxwell Maltz (Psycho Cybernetics), Robert Anthony, Harv Eker (both with and without the T.), Tony Robbins (personal power 1+2, Get the Edge etc etc.), Jeff Olson (slight edge), and a boatload of others. I listen to this kind of stuff at least half an hour every day. Have been for many years.
            Will track down Mike Litman and see what he has to say...might be the missing piece.
            Isn't that doing more of the same? How's that working for you?

            Your product is not a reflection of your worth as a person. Nothing is ever perfect - but what if it's "good enough"? Stop looking for outside influences to give you motivation - take the emotion out of the equation - and launch your product.

            It's not easy - nothing worthwhile is. The longer you put off finishing a project - the more excuses you find for not doing it.

            Just need an hour or so work on the sales page
            Block out 2 hrs of time and do it - don't think, don't ponder, don't panic or excuse...finish it.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
        Originally Posted by Glenn Leader View Post

        You look like a young man who hasn't had the time to accumulate the detritus that life throws at you. Give it a few years and see if you still think the same way.

        To the OP: I know exactly how you feel. Is it possible that you think your products/services are not good enough? Possibly unfinished if you was to launch right now?

        I learned from the great Mike Litman, who says "You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going". You can always offer a free update to buyers (notice I didn't say upgrade). When I took this on board, I completed one of my best sellers within a weekend, and making sales by the close of the following week. And I received tons of glowing testimonials from that launch. I've since updated the system, and I'm planning a re-launch very soon.

        HTH

        Glenn

        PS. I knew youd read this . Try a Youtube Search for Mike, I'm certain he'll help you get over this roadblock.
        Age doesn't really have anything to do with this, so no need to patronize. C. G's advice was no less applicable and valid than yours; in fact, more so. Just because something worked for you doesn't mean it will work for the OP. Self-promotion and ego-inflation disguised as advice, and subjective advice at that, do little to advance matters in the right direction.

        To the OP: As you stated (and as certain persons ignored) you have tried some of the best and most well known self-help coaches/books/programs. The problem, however, is still at large. So I wonder if turning to yet another "guru" or "youtube" video is the answer.

        I wonder also if the incentive to rise is there. Try answering this question: "Do I want this like my life depends on it?" Answer that question honestly. If you don't want this more than ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE, if there is no fire in you, if you're comfortable, then you should consider making money another way.

        If that's not what you wanted to read, then I guess there are enough people here telling you to consider another self-help run.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sandycmy
    Very timely thread. Interesting answers.

    Would love to see more responses from the people who made it from similar situations.
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  • Profile picture of the author thet
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    Recognize reality even when you don't like it - especially when you don't like it.
    — Charlie Munger

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  • Profile picture of the author damiensuccess
    Most projects or business ideas will start with a spark of enthusiasm.

    You have several projects laying around that are not complete. Do you think they were put aside when you enthusiasm died down for them?

    Maybe, it could be an idea to go over your projects, pick your favorite, and work with it. It seems you keep putting a lot of effort into things but don't stick with it.. This would be sabotage to any motivation you would have.

    You are in the right place though. A lot of people will help you out on here
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  • Profile picture of the author RogozRazvan
    Just as everyone else mentioned here ...

    beliefs

    Better said ... identity related beliefs. Who you are. What do you think about you.

    You know that cliche with "if you don't love yourself, no one else will?"

    It is kind of true. Way too few people actually love themselves. And you can't make a positive out of a negative.

    If you yell at someone "you idiot", you won't make that person a genius. If you yell at yourself "I suck", you won't motivate yourself to build something constructive.

    The top resources I suggest you read on this are:
    1. Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.
    2. The Now Habit - Neil Fiore.
    3. Release Your Brakes - James Newman.

    All three deal with about the same thing - how our beliefs and identity determines what we can or can not do.

    If all else fails ... as psychologists put it, it is about your childhood.

    Make peace with it.

    Yell, break, forgive, forget, love whoever harmed you when you were a kid.
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  • Profile picture of the author AuthenticSelf
    A situation I can relate to, and I am going to guess that so many of us have felt at 1 stage or another. There was 2 "Penny Drop" moments I had, that helped me moved forward.

    1) The pursuit of the "Perfect" product/service. You will never find/create the Perfect product without putting it out there. There is learning that you will only get from putting the information out there and getting feedback from people using it. If you put a product out there that was only 80% perfect, would there still be people who would gain tremendous value from it???

    2) The thought of what other people will think if you put it out there, and it isn't right. What impact may that have on my sense of worth, or value?? The answer is, that your sense of worth and value come from within you, not from outside, so they are already available to you, and can't be impacted by outside influences. These influences may affect your thinking if you let it, but you don't have to allow it in. When you realize your sense of self acceptance comes from within you, and not dependent on people out there, you will find a new sense of energy to go forward with all your projects.


    Just my insights on your situation. Hope they resonate with you on some level, and help you take that next step in product creation.

    Cheers

    Josh
    Authentic Self
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  • Profile picture of the author thet
    Smart people who like to analyze and overthink stuff might be better of asking the question: What is the simplest solution here?

    For example. Lets say you want to get into fitness. If you are an analyzer, you will go search for the best program. Go in that rabit hole, and somewhere somebody with a shitty program is getting way ahead of you simply because you are still deciding if you should do 5/3/1, starting strength, never gymless or a bodybuild program from t-nation. You then decide to get into bodybuilding. You check out T-nation and before you know it... you are months further without even touching the weights.

    Simplest solution: Set a goal. Hit the gym, pull down and push away some weights. Once you come across a problem, then go look for the simplest solution again. You might find it in a book, you might find it with somebody you see a lot in the gym. Rinse, repeat.

    You need to pivot more. Just do stuff. Read, learn, and do stuff.

    You can analyze the shit out of self-help but in the end it comes down to: Take action, and while you do, believe in yourself and improve on a daily basis.

    Maybe you also need a reality check that you might not be as smart to come on conclusions on your own. What I am saying is, you might not find the solutions in your head.
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    Recognize reality even when you don't like it - especially when you don't like it.
    — Charlie Munger

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