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There are 4 primary ways we give and receive love not just in romantic relationships, but relationships in general.

What are YOU?

I once knew a woman who often complained that her father never showed her love. Correction, he never expressed his love verbally. But he did express his love daily. It's just that he expressed his love in a certain way, and she received love in a way unlike that which was expressed.

We generally expect to receive love in the way we happen to express it. So any time we find our need unfulfilled, it may be that the void is due to lost expressions of love.

What are you?

Canary: A canary wants to be cherished. A canary, most commonly female, also happens to most often express love in this same way. It isn't enough that one simply compliments the steak that was lovingly cooked by her, but she wanted her spouse to ask what type of cut the steak was. What seasoning was used? She wants to know that he "got it," and truly cherished her for her efforts.

Puppy Dog: A puppy-dog gives and receives love via praise. Often, all that is necessary is that "pat on the head." After a long day of work he/she wants to know they "did a great job" and is recognized for it. A puppy dog needs to feel appreciated and often shows love via praise as well.

Cat: A cat often gives and receives love with displays of affection. Cats enjoy physical closeness, cuddling, and physical contact to show love.

Goldfish: A goldfish gives and receives love via acts. He or she is known to do things for others to "show" love and receive love the same way.

It is most common for an individual to be predominantly one of following, while also demonstrating characteristics of another. Typically, most are 70% or 80% one, and 20% to 30% of another. So there is some overlap.

Often, when one partner complains the other is not physically affectionate enough, he or she will feel unloved. Similarly, if one, as in my previous example, doesn't verbalize his or her love, it is also often interpreted as a lack of real love.

However, the father of the woman I spoke of earlier often fixed her car, cared for her lawn, and did other acts to care for her. He was a goldfish and showed his love in this way. If we understand each other better, perhaps we can show love in a way another is more apt to receive it, and vice versa.

I'm 80% puppy-dog and 20% goldfish. What are you?! I'd like to hear it!
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