low self esteem and confidence

23 replies
I understand self esteem and confidence are a big factor in making your business boom. Though I don't really have both. I'm timid and shy and soft spoken. How do you get over these?
#confidence #esteem #low
  • Profile picture of the author C G
    There's tons of threads on this subject.

    Use the search tool

    The main tip is to act as if. Act as someone who is confident and you will become confident.

    Cheers,

    C.G.
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    • Profile picture of the author imafable
      Does that work for you? Do you use other techniques or styles when it comes to that? I'm just curious how you adapt to

      The main tip is to act as if. Act as someone who is confident and you will become confident.
      Signature

      What's going on here?

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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Originally Posted by imafable View Post

    I understand self esteem and confidence are a big factor in making your business boom. Though I don't really have both. I'm timid and shy and soft spoken. How do you get over these?
    Being timid, shy, and soft spoken isn't necessarily a bad thing. Although he was strong, Jesus was "meek" too.
    : )

    In terms of Internet Marketing, I think you grow in confidence by taking action and seeing results from your efforts. In fact you don't have to be "confident" (etc.) at all, you just have to keep taking positive, consistent action.

    Something I recommended in the following post was to create a "success journal."
    http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...elf-doubt.html

    Basically, you document all your previous successes—great and small. And keep adding to your journal. It won't solve everything, however it will help.
    Signature
    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author osamaye360
    Your Solution
    First, you have got to believe in yourself
    Find out the good things about you.
    Whether you believe or not, there are people who envy you secretly. you just dont know yet. when you pass along your street try to watch out, you could catch them spying on you.

    if people can envy for good or bad it shows you are valuable. if you have friends who like you, then you are valuable.

    all you need is to believe in yourself. the fact that someone is better that you in an area doesnt mean they are better than you in all aspect of life. No one is like you on this earth and no one can do things the way you do them.
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  • Hey,

    I also sometimes lack confidence and need to continuously work on it.

    What really helps is being more aware of your past achievement. I, for example, created a file on my phone in which I write down all successes and compliments.

    Maybe write down situations where you were able to speak up and be confident… then go through these situations in your head for a few weeks.

    Having these situations crystal clear in your head allows you to challenge your negative thoughts once they start to effect you.

    Yes, you might be shy, but you also have a different side within you.

    So whenever a “low-confidence” thought enters you head, say “no thank you”-“ that’s BS because I am confidence. Situation X proves it”

    Hope this help. I also wrote a long post about confidence on my blog. Here is the link: 3 Ways to Instantly Boost Your Self-Confidence | The Leader of TomorrowThe Leader of Tomorrow
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  • Profile picture of the author MrTwoFister
    Are you familiar with mindfullness? It is life changing and has worked for me. Do some research on this, and I am confident it will help you.
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  • Profile picture of the author Josh Mayers
    Hey,

    You should check out Jim Katsoulis' program My New Self Image. What this program will do is it will help you create not only a new self image for yourself, but it will show you how to manifest that so that you can completely change your life. I actually bought this program a while back and I must say that it is an awesome program that shows you exactly how you can rewire your mind for the things that you want in life. In your case, it would to be more confident and have higher self-esteem.

    The mind is a powerful tool when you know how to use it, and this program goes in depth to show you how.

    Hope this is helpful!

    -Josh
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    Learn How This Simple Tool Can Help You Make $10K/Month...
    ~ www.UltimateWealthTool.com ~
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Great advice people.
      : )

      Josh reminded me of another book that I found helpful when I had low(er) self-esteem and that's "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz. (Search for reviews on Amazon.)
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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      • Profile picture of the author JSammy
        Use your strengths,

        The single most important advice is to act. Too many people (epsecially here) get stuck in busy work.

        Use your strengths.

        Growing up in sales, a sales manager I had (wish I could find him he was great) had a phrase he used to use often:

        LIVE IN THE FEAR

        If you fear something (IE at the time it was getting people on the phone), force yourself to do it. Scared of the dark? Walk in the dark. Like anything else repetition solves a lot. The more you do it, the less you will fear it.

        Recent personal example:

        I am 40 years old and weigh 300 lbs (think of a football lineman). For exercise I started walking 3-4 miles this summer. My daughter asks me, "Daddy why are you doing it?"

        "Because it's hard"

        that was 2 months ago and took me 1.5-2 hours to walk 3-4 miles.

        Now it takes under and hour. True story.

        To get ahead you will have to push yourself a bit.

        Ok i'm done rambling now
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        • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
          Originally Posted by JSammy View Post

          Use your strengths,

          The single most important advice is to act. Too many people (epsecially here) get stuck in busy work.

          Use your strengths.

          Growing up in sales, a sales manager I had (wish I could find him he was great) had a phrase he used to use often:

          LIVE IN THE FEAR

          If you fear something (IE at the time it was getting people on the phone), force yourself to do it. Scared of the dark? Walk in the dark. Like anything else repetition solves a lot. The more you do it, the less you will fear it.

          Recent personal example:

          I am 40 years old and weigh 300 lbs (think of a football lineman). For exercise I started walking 3-4 miles this summer. My daughter asks me, "Daddy why are you doing it?"

          "Because it's hard"

          that was 2 months ago and took me 1.5-2 hours to walk 3-4 miles.

          Now it takes under and hour. True story.

          To get ahead you will have to push yourself a bit.

          Ok i'm done rambling now
          I agree. You will gain confidence simply from facing your fears over and over again.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Originally Posted by imafable View Post

    I understand self esteem and confidence are a big factor in making your business boom. Though I don't really have both. I'm timid and shy and soft spoken. How do you get over these?
    Hi there, let's have a little dialogue to figure out what you can do in this situation.

    I need to know a couple things to give you direction.

    First, are you more an inward-focused person, thinking a lot, experiencing the world from inside your head? Do you imagine the world from your own perspective first, and move out from there? After you get home from being out with a group, do you feel worn out and need to recharge?

    Or do you instantly imagine what other people feel like, and jump over to their perspective right away? Does being out with other people empower and excite you? When you talk with others, are you more concerned about their world than your own?

    Second, what skills do you have that you know in your heart and bones that you can help other people with? How do you know you can get results for them?

    Let me know the answers to these questions and I can give some recommendations.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
    Buy a copy of psycho-cybernetics and follow the step by step instructions.

    Self-esteem, confidence and the like all stem from your self-image, or how you view yourself.

    You need to view yourself in a better light. That book will teach you how.
    Signature

    Visit http://www.bettermindbodyself.com for proven advice and techniques to elevate your mind, body, and self-image.

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    • Profile picture of the author imafable
      Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

      Being timid, shy, and soft spoken isn't necessarily a bad thing. Although he was strong, Jesus was "meek" too.
      : )

      In terms of Internet Marketing, I think you grow in confidence by taking action and seeing results from your efforts. In fact you don't have to be "confident" (etc.) at all, you just have to keep taking positive, consistent action.

      Something I recommended in the following post was to create a "success journal."
      http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...elf-doubt.html

      Basically, you document all your previous successes--great and small. And keep adding to your journal. It won't solve everything, however it will help.
      I like the idea of the "success journal" and you're right, I do get more confident knowing that I can do the task, if I manage to be successful with internet marketing or at least do something right, then I guess confidence and self esteem follows after.

      Originally Posted by osamaye360 View Post

      Your Solution
      all you need is to believe in yourself. the fact that someone is better that you in an area doesnt mean they are better than you in all aspect of life. No one is like you on this earth and no one can do things the way you do them.
      I love this. I should jot that down on a post it and have it displayed on my work desk! It'll be nice to read that every time I sit down at work.

      Originally Posted by MrTwoFister View Post

      Are you familiar with mindfullness? It is life changing and has worked for me. Do some research on this, and I am confident it will help you.
      Mindfullness, I am not familiar with that just yet but I will research on it. Thanks for the tip!

      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      Hi there, let's have a little dialogue to figure out what you can do in this situation.

      I need to know a couple things to give you direction.

      First, are you more an inward-focused person, thinking a lot, experiencing the world from inside your head? Do you imagine the world from your own perspective first, and move out from there? After you get home from being out with a group, do you feel worn out and need to recharge?

      Or do you instantly imagine what other people feel like, and jump over to their perspective right away? Does being out with other people empower and excite you? When you talk with others, are you more concerned about their world than your own?

      Second, what skills do you have that you know in your heart and bones that you can help other people with? How do you know you can get results for them?

      Let me know the answers to these questions and I can give some recommendations.
      1. I am more of the first option. I am an inward-focused person. Being out with the friends tire me out most of the time as compared to staying in. Arriving home is a huge relief for me.

      2. I may be a bit of an introvert but I work well in groups. I learn fast and adapt quickly which makes it easy for me to transition or adapt to different groups. At the same time I like taking initiative and doing more than just the task at hand. Like I do further research on topics aside from just sticking to the one in front of me. I have ideas, and concepts as I am a graphic artist so that helps as well.


      Originally Posted by JSammy View Post

      Use your strengths,

      The single most important advice is to act. Too many people (epsecially here) get stuck in busy work.

      Use your strengths.

      Growing up in sales, a sales manager I had (wish I could find him he was great) had a phrase he used to use often:

      LIVE IN THE FEAR

      If you fear something (IE at the time it was getting people on the phone), force yourself to do it. Scared of the dark? Walk in the dark. Like anything else repetition solves a lot. The more you do it, the less you will fear it.

      Recent personal example:

      I am 40 years old and weigh 300 lbs (think of a football lineman). For exercise I started walking 3-4 miles this summer. My daughter asks me, "Daddy why are you doing it?"

      "Because it's hard"

      that was 2 months ago and took me 1.5-2 hours to walk 3-4 miles.

      Now it takes under and hour. True story.

      To get ahead you will have to push yourself a bit.

      Ok i'm done rambling now
      Wow this is empowering! I love it.
      Signature

      What's going on here?

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      • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
        Originally Posted by imafable View Post

        1. I am more of the first option. I am an inward-focused person. Being out with the friends tire me out most of the time as compared to staying in. Arriving home is a huge relief for me.

        2. I may be a bit of an introvert but I work well in groups. I learn fast and adapt quickly which makes it easy for me to transition or adapt to different groups. At the same time I like taking initiative and doing more than just the task at hand. Like I do further research on topics aside from just sticking to the one in front of me. I have ideas, and concepts as I am a graphic artist so that helps as well.
        OK so you are an introvert, and that doesn't mean you have to be shy. Just know interactions with people are going to tire you out, and so limit these to what you can handle--and what are most effective.

        You're a graphic artist. I'll bet you're a better artist than I am, then, since you have chosen to do it as your business. Think about the value you must have to other people in solving their design problems.

        They either can't do graphic design work themselves, or they won't because they have other things to do. You provide value every time you show up in this role (and any other), because you can do what they cannot or will not. This is value and valuable!

        So remember, every time you reach out or someone starts a conversation with you, you bring value to the table because of your expertise. And no one can take away that expertise. You can't lose it, or leave it at home by accident. It comes with you wherever you go. You always have it.

        That's a nice place to start from, isn't it. You are always broadcasting value. Other people need you. You solve problems they can't or won't. Feel good about that!
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  • Profile picture of the author Successwriter
    Building your self-esteem starts with simple steps.
    First: believe in yourself....If you think you can, you CAN! If you think you can't, you CAN'T!
    Check out some of these steps in PLR #6 in "Self-esteem up ahead" which I posted earlier.
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  • Profile picture of the author zenmack
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    The worlds best dating coach
    http://zenmack.com

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  • Profile picture of the author AuthenticSelf
    The feeling of low self esteem or low self confidence, all come about as a result of your thinking. Low self esteem and confidence are not natural states for you to have. You have to think to yourself that you're no good, no-one will value you, etc to feel this way. The beauty of this, is that it is your thinking creating this, and you can change your thinking....... or simply decide to stop giving it any credibility.

    You obviously have some desire or dream that you want to achieve, and that is great. Being able to follow your authentic desires is part of lifes journey, and you are having these desires, because on some level, there is an aspect of you that wants you to achieve it, so you owe it to yourself to get it.

    Your thinking wavers from having high quality thoughts, to low quality thoughts. Sometimes your thinking should be trusted, and other times you should simply ignore it. If your thinking is making you feel bad, then that is your body's signal to you that you can't trust your thinking at the moment.

    ...And when you find yourself getting this understanding, something amazing begins to happen. Your natural confidence, and natural self esteem begin to emerge, because this is how you are meant to feel, when you overcome all that other unhelpful thinking

    Stop looking outside for your confidence, resolve your thinking, ignore it when its not helpful, and you will find your natural confidence begin to emerge from within.

    Cheers

    Josh
    Authentic Self
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    • Profile picture of the author LouiGeeinMD
      fake it until you make it.
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      Yogi Warrior

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    • Profile picture of the author imafable
      Originally Posted by AuthenticSelf View Post

      The feeling of low self esteem or low self confidence, all come about as a result of your thinking. Low self esteem and confidence are not natural states for you to have. You have to think to yourself that you're no good, no-one will value you, etc to feel this way. The beauty of this, is that it is your thinking creating this, and you can change your thinking....... or simply decide to stop giving it any credibility.

      You obviously have some desire or dream that you want to achieve, and that is great. Being able to follow your authentic desires is part of lifes journey, and you are having these desires, because on some level, there is an aspect of you that wants you to achieve it, so you owe it to yourself to get it.

      Your thinking wavers from having high quality thoughts, to low quality thoughts. Sometimes your thinking should be trusted, and other times you should simply ignore it. If your thinking is making you feel bad, then that is your body's signal to you that you can't trust your thinking at the moment.

      ...And when you find yourself getting this understanding, something amazing begins to happen. Your natural confidence, and natural self esteem begin to emerge, because this is how you are meant to feel, when you overcome all that other unhelpful thinking

      Stop looking outside for your confidence, resolve your thinking, ignore it when its not helpful, and you will find your natural confidence begin to emerge from within.
      I think out of all, this speaks to me directly. It takes a lot of effort but of course I know it will be better for me in the long run. It's not very easy to overcome your own negative thoughts about yourself.
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      • Profile picture of the author AuthenticSelf
        Glad you found something that resonates with you. Forget about looking for confidence, and focus on identifying when you are having low quality thinking, and what you need to do to get back into a higher quality of thinking. Get control of that back, and begin to direct your thinking on a more consistent basis, and you'll be amazed at the shifts you find yourself going through.

        I'm always willing to help out more with this if you like. Best of luck on discovering your way.

        Cheers

        Josh
        Authentic Self
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    Originally Posted by imafable View Post

    I understand self esteem and confidence are a big factor in making your business boom. Though I don't really have both. I'm timid and shy and soft spoken. How do you get over these?
    speak up

    i cant read you
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  • Profile picture of the author GloriasRosse
    I suggest you to read Books on relevant topic, just to boost your confidence.

    Also meet your friends and relatives regularly, just have gossip with them.

    Even you can form a group of your friends and can discuss on any topic, just to open you up.

    Follow this on regular basis, you definitely improve.
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  • Profile picture of the author Successwriter
    Have a look at the list of topics in the post: "self-esteem up ahead". Some of those articles could show you steps to take to start building your self-esteem and confidence. Would love to work with you.
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