Do People Want You To Fail?

21 replies
Hey Guys

So, do you have friends or people in your family that want you to fail? Do they get happy when they know things are not going well for you? How do you deal with this?

This is something that I know affects a lot of people including myself and I'm curious to know how you deal with this situation.

I have 1 or 2 people in my family who like it when I'm not doing well with business, don't like it when I'm doing good and always have something to say. I really want to snap back and say things that will make them off themselves but for some reason I hold back, probably because I might regret it the next day.

So, how do you deal with it?
#fail #people
  • Profile picture of the author damiensuccess
    Here is how I dealt with it.

    While I focus my attention towards those who encourage me, it was impossible to avoid the few who were on the other side of the scales. Consider it a balancing of your ego, and use their discouragement as a tool.

    The more they discourage my success, the more I realize that I am pushing harder then they are. Although it frustrated me at times thinking I might not be doing the right thing, I always taken the time to remember those who are with me, and the goals I am pushing for. My goals were not theirs and for that they could not understand what I was doing.

    The discouragement they provide is only the personality they hold to feel a sense of jealousy over your efforts. They cannot understand, and maybe never will, but it isn't our job to make them understand. It is our job to push for our goals and develop our own understanding. Learn and build for ourselves, not for those we are speaking of.


    Focus, But only on what is important.
    Signature
    Damien Parsons
    Success Coach | Writer
    Join me on Successful Lifestyle Secrets
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340026].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Milhouse20XX
      The only person you have to worry about is yourself.

      Every day, ask yourself "Am I working harder than I did yesterday?" "Will today be a day I'm happy with my work?"

      Be your own competition. No one else matters.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340150].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author amylou78
    hi, you need to forget these 'family' members and only speak to them when you have to, don't engage and tell them all your troubles.
    I had a similar situation with a certain family member (my partners much older sister) who was the self appointed head of her family, she would only ring and talk if we were having problems - we've had a lot - she would then phone all of the other family members to gossip about us!
    if things were going well we would never hear from her, it was like she thrived on our misfortune!
    so now if she calls I only give bare min details and never discuss problems, she only rings every now and again.
    you need to surround yourself with TRUE family and friends who care about you and will help in bad times. don't waste your time and emotions on the others
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340452].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DWaters
    The only person you have to worry about is yourself.
    If you have some of these negative people in your circle of freinds and family it is unfortunate. It is best if you can ignore them and not have to deal with them much or at all. When others want you to fail it is their problem. Their problem being that they are insecure and when others fail it boosts them up and makes them feel better. It indicates their inadequencies. This is something that you should NEVER let bother you.

    It doesn't mater what they think - it only matters what you think! That is how to live your life!
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340474].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author bobandnanci
    I agree that you want to avoid spending a lot of time with those people who are negative, however, you also need to realize that they are operating out of their own fear.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340476].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
    I surround myself with positive individuals who are on the same track/path/page as me.

    I avoid the negative and the pessimistic, or try at least, at all costs.
    Signature

    Visit http://www.bettermindbodyself.com for proven advice and techniques to elevate your mind, body, and self-image.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340745].message }}
  • You have come to the right place.

    We all have your back my friend, I'd want to see everyone succeed.

    We are all entrepreneurs, that doesn't mean we have to do it alone
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340760].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
      Originally Posted by AffiliateRockstarr View Post

      You have come to the right place.

      We all have your back my friend, I'd want to see everyone succeed.

      We are all entrepreneurs, that doesn't mean we have to do it alone
      On that note, those who wish to see others fail seldom see success themselves.

      The surest way to success is to wish it for others.
      Signature

      Visit http://www.bettermindbodyself.com for proven advice and techniques to elevate your mind, body, and self-image.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9340804].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Cataleya
        You know what they say..."Success is the best revenge."
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9341124].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    If you don't have some people that would like to see you fail, then you're doing something wrong. ;-)

    Seriously though, if anything, use it as motivation to succeed.
    Signature
    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9341165].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    well in my case

    my family saw my as someone who was lazy and completely useless ..and verbally and emotionally abused me in order to get me to do what they wanted me to do..

    honestly they though this move to the other side of the planet was the most stupid and moronic thing i could do .. and that i should have stayed where i was ..

    anyway the wife to be went through the same stuff with her family and last night name the figure that we/ I should aim for to start making online once we get a pc with stable internet ..so i am in an environment now where the person i care about wants and has skills to help me succeed ..and i need to make a good amount of money because she is good at spending it .
    Signature

    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9341443].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jarrod
    Yes, there are those I know who would love to see me fail. I used to get angry with them. Now to be honest I just pity them.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9341471].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Maximus93
      Originally Posted by Jarrod View Post

      Yes, there are those I know who would love to see me fail. I used to get angry with them. Now to be honest I just pity them.
      I don't think either is a particularly healthy attitude. If you assign a feeling towards a certain thing you invest emotion in it. Emotion that could be better spent towards your own self improvement. Why use your emotional range pitying people when you could be using it to be happy with yourself?

      Pitying people for being who they are is a sign of arrogance in my opinion. Ignoring people for being negative for a time is a sign of confidence.

      I say ignore those who are negative towards you, embrace those who are positive towards you. Be positive and constructive to all. No matter how cruel they might come across. You never know what that person is going through.

      I've been a completely a-hole to others just because I was going through a rough patch (meeting these people for the first time). They didn't hold it against me forever and now some of those people I call friends.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9341587].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jarrod
    Maximus93,
    At first my post was about ten times as long because I went on to explained myself, thinking I might be misunderstood. Which proved to be the case.

    I don't mean pity them in a sort of arrogant way. What I mean is that anyone who would wish failure upon others has issues, and for that I feel for them. I wish nothing but the best for them. But I'm not going to ignore them, but rather use their feedback as motivation to prove them wrong.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9341793].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JagSEO
    I think you don't have to prove something to them but you have to prove something to yourself. Because it is your dream and not their dream in the first place. Don't waste your energy proving something to people just do your job and do what it takes to be successful. I am also in your place right now but I tried my best to be in a positive vibration. They will believe you soon if they already see some results so just continue what you are doing good right now.
    Signature
    Hooked To Success -Personal development For People Who Wants Success.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9342165].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author RogozRazvan
    People do not want to feel insecure. Sometimes this means that they want you to fail if they will look really bad in contrast. Edit: Some people, not all people.

    For example, let's take three overweight people. One decides to change something, go on a diet, exercise. The other two because they are not willing to go through the same effort and to prevent their ego will try to pull that person down from his productive behavior.

    It is simply a defense mechanism.

    Of course, some people value achievement. Some people will help you grow even if they are not there yet.

    The proportion is about 50 - 50. I've found wonderful people who supported my goals and took joy in every one of my victories and people who were happier when I've failed than won. I've meet even people who hated me for winning.

    The human animal is a strange being ... but a predictable one.

    The thing you need to remember is that unless their opinion is important (as a hiring manager's view on a potential employee), only your effort will pay the bills. At the end of the day is more important to have money in your pocket than the acceptance of others - in this context, since this can be easily misunderstood.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9345288].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author matty123
    i believe that you always get people who want you to fail or who try to take you down. they usually do this by simply being pessimistic and negative people and when you do eventually achieve something impressive, they will still play it down and still find a way to try and play it down and say it's not good. Those are the sorts of people that you want to stay away from, anyone who really cares about you will want you to do well and care about you.
    Signature

    The Proven Secret Training & Business System That Pays You $1000, $3000 & $5000 Commissions Without You Ever Having To Pick Up A Phone cash-capital.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9376883].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
    Originally Posted by stv105 View Post

    Hey Guys

    So, do you have friends or people in your family that want you to fail? Do they get happy when they know things are not going well for you? How do you deal with this?

    This is something that I know affects a lot of people including myself and I'm curious to know how you deal with this situation.

    I have 1 or 2 people in my family who like it when I'm not doing well with business, don't like it when I'm doing good and always have something to say. I really want to snap back and say things that will make them off themselves but for some reason I hold back, probably because I might regret it the next day.

    So, how do you deal with it?
    Even though they're praying on your downfall, sometimes they're doing it because they want to protect you from failure. Most people have given up on chasing their dreams and they want to convince you to do the same.

    One thing I know is the best way to get them on your side is to become very successful. So just use their doubt and negativity as fuel to push harder in your business and achieve success. Channel their negative energy into positive energy to propel you closer to making your dreams a reality.

    Then when you can become successful you won't have to say anything instead your results will speak for itself. The best revenge is to become so successful that nobody can stop you even if they tried.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9377837].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
      Originally Posted by tvon View Post

      Even though they're praying on your downfall, sometimes they're doing it because they want to protect you from failure. Most people have given up on chasing their dreams and they want to convince you to do the same.

      One thing I know is the best way to get them on your side is to become very successful. So just use their doubt and negativity as fuel to push harder in your business and achieve success. Channel their negative energy into positive energy to propel you closer to making your dreams a reality.

      Then when you can become successful you won't have to say anything instead your results will speak for itself. The best revenge is to become so successful that nobody can stop you even if they tried.
      Agreed in terms of intended end goal, but perhaps the mind-state should be that revenge is pointless and that a better state of mind is one that focuses on constantly overcoming oneself and ultimately rising beyond all doubt.
      Signature

      Visit http://www.bettermindbodyself.com for proven advice and techniques to elevate your mind, body, and self-image.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9377866].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
        Originally Posted by Dain Supero View Post

        Agreed in terms of intended end goal, but perhaps the mind-state should be that revenge is pointless and that a better state of mind is one that focuses on constantly overcoming oneself and ultimately rising beyond all doubt.
        Yeah revenge is not necessarily the most positive fuel for motivation, but it can be very powerful when channeled in the right ways.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9378991].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author C G
    I believe that you're doing the right thing when holding back..

    Ignore negative people and try to get away from them asap..

    Surrounding myself with positive and like minded people gives me a boost in happiness, motivation and creativity.

    Cheers,

    C.G.
    Signature
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9379025].message }}

Trending Topics