"You'll never amount to anything"

28 replies
Someone said to me today " I always knew you would never amount to anything and you'll lash out at others because of it"

As offensive as it was, I found two great lessons in this insult.

1) Always respect the success of others. Even if you are a complete failure, always pay respect to the people who achieve their dreams.

2) Take ownership of your life. Even if you truly never amount to anything, take responsibility for your actions.
  • Profile picture of the author Magaver90
    My personal opinion is that any person that says that kind of thing is a piece of shit and deserves no respect.period.

    How can you respect a person that says that to you, even if they are successful? It makes no sense. They are insulting you. I would be pissed and would seize the moment to tell them what a waste of human skin they are. Call it harsh but that's what I would do and probably many others.

    So tell us more. Was this some duchebag at your workplace or someone from school who got lucky in life?
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    • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
      Originally Posted by stv105 View Post

      My personal opinion is that any person that says that kind of thing is a piece of shit and deserves no respect.period.

      How can you respect a person that says that to you, even if they are successful? It makes no sense. They are insulting you. I would be pissed and would seize the moment to tell them what a waste of human skin they are. Call it harsh but that's what I would do and probably many others.

      So tell us more. Was this some duchebag at your workplace or someone from school who got lucky in life?
      Because he handled the situation with class and humility, not with anger, hatred, and negativity, which is precisely what was thrown at him to begin with. In other words, he didn't lower himself to their level.

      To the original poster, well played, good sir.
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  • Profile picture of the author Maximus93
    I'm trying to wrap my head around how you reached those conclusions from that insult. I'm quite curious to what your reaction was there in the moment. That to me signals really how far you've come in terms of self-development.

    If someone said that to me I would have smiled and said "Never is a long time" and continued striving to improve myself.

    I call it the "Justin Bieber" effect. The kid gets a lot of flack for what he does and to a degree I can understand why. But even with all those negative comments, he's still famous as ever. It's cumulatively because of those negative comments, not in spite of them.

    So the best thing you can do is to be sure of yourself and ignore negative parts of your world, not fight against them.
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    • Profile picture of the author Milhouse20XX
      Originally Posted by Maximus93 View Post

      I'm quite curious to what your reaction was there in the moment.
      I just said "That's your privilege. By the way, I saw your trailer. I hope the movie is a success"

      NOTE: This guy currently has a movie in post production.
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      • Profile picture of the author RichBeck
        Milhouse20XX,

        I think you handled it very well....

        In my "previous life" I would have verbally eviscerated the person... Leaving very little behind...

        I know now that allowing them to "get under my skin" causes me to stoop to their level..... This only amplifies their negativity.

        I'm one who believes what you focus on will increase...

        All the Best,

        Rich Beck BCIP, MCSD, MCIS
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr Bill
    Ok, so you slapped him to the ground, sunk a few boots to the face...and then what happened? Is he out of hospital yet?

    Seriously though. The WORST thing you can do is ignore these people. If they want to spray poison on your plans, dreams or hopes you can't just be a pussy and let them get away with it. You MUST challenge them, strongly, immediately and hopefully publicly. If you let these morons get away with it you have internalised it and (as anyone who knows anything about NLP will tell you) if you do that you'll absorb some of their message despite how much you might disagree with it.

    I take great pleasure in laughing loudly at their absurdity and calling them on it every single time. These people must be taken down. To let them escape without punishing them in some way (embarrassment is usually my preferred method) makes the world a worse place and now it's your fault because you could have done something to stop it but you didn't. You can't ignore a piece of rubbish on the ground or in society (especially if it got in your way and tripped you up) and hope it goes away. You must sweep it into the rubbish where it belongs or it will keep getting in the way of everyone. To ignore people who want to bring everyone down is a selfish act.
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    • Profile picture of the author Maximus93
      Originally Posted by Mr Bill View Post

      Ok, so you slapped him to the ground, sunk a few boots to the face...and then what happened? Is he out of hospital yet?

      Seriously though. The WORST thing you can do is ignore these people. If they want to spray poison on your plans, dreams or hopes you can't just be a pussy and let them get away with it. You MUST challenge them, strongly, immediately and hopefully publicly. If you let these morons get away with it you have internalised it and (as anyone who knows anything about NLP will tell you) if you do that you'll absorb some of their message despite how much you might disagree with it.

      I take great pleasure in laughing loudly at their absurdity and calling them on it every single time. These people must be taken down. To let them escape without punishing them in some way (embarrassment is usually my preferred method) makes the world a worse place and now it's your fault because you could have done something to stop it but you didn't. You can't ignore a piece of rubbish on the ground or in society (especially if it got in your way and tripped you up) and hope it goes away. You must sweep it into the rubbish where it belongs or it will keep getting in the way of everyone. To ignore people who want to bring everyone down is a selfish act.
      I entirely disagree. You're fighting hate with hate here. You're bringing more hate into the world in an attempt to extinguish it. I reflect, I assume they're going through some rough times (as I have been) and I don't make to air those fires of negativity in my mind.

      By ignoring it (not obviously pretending you didn't hear the person) and changing the subject or internalising their hate on them with a thoughtful statement you make them ponder why their hate wasn't strong enough to phase you.

      I find it's enough to just lead a conversation to throw people off guard. I don't like that a conversation is taking a rough turn or is becoming aggressive, so I change the subject to something more amicable. I've seen it work first hand and people really do respond strangely like you just pulled out their seven of hearts. That's confidence in my opinion, arrogance is thinking you need to be right.

      If you throw it back, you're risking ruining a potential network, a potential business partner, or just a potential friend

      "An insult is like a gift, if you refuse to take it, to whom does the gift belong?" - I forget who said this
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      • Profile picture of the author Mr Bill
        Originally Posted by Maximus93 View Post

        I entirely disagree. You're fighting hate with hate here. You're bringing more hate into the world in an attempt to extinguish it. I reflect, I assume they're going through some rough times (as I have been) and I don't make to air those fires of negativity in my mind.

        By ignoring it (not obviously pretending you didn't hear the person) and changing the subject or internalising their hate on them with a thoughtful statement you make them ponder why their hate wasn't strong enough to phase you.

        I find it's enough to just lead a conversation to throw people off guard. I don't like that a conversation is taking a rough turn or is becoming aggressive, so I change the subject to something more amicable. I've seen it work first hand and people really do respond strangely like you just pulled out their seven of hearts. That's confidence in my opinion, arrogance is thinking you need to be right.

        If you throw it back, you're risking ruining a potential network, a potential business partner, or just a potential friend

        "An insult is like a gift, if you refuse to take it, to whom does the gift belong?" - I forget who said this
        Yes, I can see what you're saying and of course (you're absolutely right) it would better if there was no hate or stupidity permeating our lives but sometimes some people need to be set straight and if you come at it with the right attitude you might even be able to stop them being so daft and the world would be a better place. It's not about wanting to be right. There's a much higher reason and that is helping to stop the spread of (at best) idiocy.

        As for ruining a relationship by standing your ground; it can't be much of a relationship if you're willing to let them rubbish you. I don't suffer fools at all - others have a higher tolerance but eventually you have to challenge the things that are important to you. Of course, for little things (e.g. GM vs Ford) I chuckle, pause..then with a stoney straight face say "but seriously...you don't ACTUALLY believe that do you?" then challenge them as intellectually as possible.

        The kick in the teeth is metaphorical but when people attack you for striving or for wanting to grow and they try to put you down for even trying then those are my favourite fresh meat. I love tearing people a new one if they've chosen to deserve it. Usually in a passive aggressive way - I admit but still, I'm not fond of fools getting a totally free ride to pollute my thoughts with their drivel.
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        • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
          Originally Posted by Mr Bill View Post

          Yes, I can see what you're saying and of course (you're absolutely right) it would better if there was no hate or stupidity permeating our lives but sometimes some people need to be set straight and if you come at it with the right attitude you might even be able to stop them being so daft and the world would be a better place. It's not about wanting to be right. There's a much higher reason and that is helping to stop the spread of (at best) idiocy.

          As for ruining a relationship by standing your ground; it can't be much of a relationship if you're willing to let them rubbish you. I don't suffer fools at all - others have a higher tolerance but eventually you have to challenge the things that are important to you. Of course, for little things (e.g. GM vs Ford) I chuckle, pause..then with a stoney straight face say "but seriously...you don't ACTUALLY believe that do you?" then challenge them as intellectually as possible.

          The kick in the teeth is metaphorical but when people attack you for striving or for wanting to grow and they try to put you down for even trying then those are my favourite fresh meat. I love tearing people a new one if they've chosen to deserve it. Usually in a passive aggressive way - I admit but still, I'm not fond of fools getting a totally free ride to pollute my thoughts with their drivel.
          I concur, sir.

          You can, however, achieve the same result, if not better, through the path of least resistance.

          Your response to what they do is determined not by what they do but how you feel about it, how you perceive it. So whether confrontation or silence is the best or worst thing is a matter of perspective and, even more so, a matter of how you view yourself (self-image).

          If you view yourself as someone who is always under attack by "idiots," as some vigilante who needs to set the record straight where it might be crooked, then of course your response will lean toward confrontation.

          My personal response is almost always silence and patience. I sympathize with their ignorance and just feel bad for them, as though they were helpless children. I do this because I am supremely secure about and confident in my self-image. I, like you, don't suffer fools either, but I accomplish this via silence and unspoken confidence.

          The dog barks and barks and the cat just sits there, unconcerned, until the dog gets too close and realizes that the cat just smacked him out.

          I prefer to be the cat.

          To each his own.
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    • Profile picture of the author Red Rock West
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        This thread reminds me of something I read one day. Essentially, "People can only insult you if you give them permission."
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        "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    well it depends who said it ,

    where you at the moment this was said ..blaming others for what ever negative state you are in .

    it is completly up to us to be something that matters to us .. maybe you have been trying to be something that would be recognized by those who have been around you your entire life .

    i was in that situation the problem is because people around you belive this about you they will block you from taking actions or take certain effort to downplay and refuse to recognize any progress you make
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  • Profile picture of the author Jarrod
    Mr Bill, You reminded me of that scene in Rocky 3. Critics were doubting if Rocky could come back and beat Clubber Lang after losing the title to him.

    Paulie: Don't listen to it, Rocky.

    Apollo Creed: No, do listen to it Rock. Because when it's over, everybody's gonna owe you an engraved apology.
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  • Profile picture of the author JagSEO
    Don't be affected to that kind of statement if you say you can then that's the end of the story period.
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    Hooked To Success -Personal development For People Who Wants Success.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
    Originally Posted by Milhouse20XX View Post

    As offensive as it was, I found two great lessons in this insult.

    1) Always respect the success of others. Even if you are a complete failure, always pay respect to the people who achieve their dreams.

    2) Take ownership of your life. Even if you truly never amount to anything, take responsibility for your actions.
    Loved the way you handled that Milhouse.
    : )

    Cheers.
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    "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author DWaters
    It really only matters what you think, what others think should not effect you.

    This actually reminds me of two silly / childish sayings (yet true) I learned as a child -

    "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names sahall never hurt me."

    "I am rubber and you're glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you."
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  • Profile picture of the author victorfrancis
    “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ― Henry Ford
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  • Profile picture of the author Clyde Dennis
    Success is the sweetest revenge. "Well played" indeed.
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  • Profile picture of the author RogozRazvan
    We've all heard it at some point in our lives.

    Parents, teacher, friends, relatives, people who hate us, people who should love us, etc.

    The best solution?

    Prove him wrong by your deeds.

    The skinny guy who got picked on at school went to the gym and became almost as big as Hulk.
    That guy who was always made fun of because of his poor clothing became an entrepreneur and now drives a Porsche.
    The shy, nerdy guy who was too timid to even talk to his classmates now carries speeches in front of thousands of people and controls teams the size of a small city.

    Prove him wrong. I know it hurts. Get over it. Not in a mean way but in the sense that some people do this.

    The irony of all of this is that these kind of things can either make you or break you.

    There are folks who will say "yes, he's right" and resort to drinking, drugs or simply non-productive behaviors ...

    And there are folks who will say ..."we'll see" and go "Count of Monte Cristo" on his ass.

    Oh ... and yes.

    Watch "The Count of Monte Cristo".
    Watch "The Pursuit of Happyness" (it is not a typo)
    Watch "Limitless"

    You'll learn the same lesson presented here.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    ..despite the deep responses ,

    millhouse , are you currently at a point you have not much to show and you are lashing out at those around you ..you seem young so it happens always time to turn it around .

    a core theme of success .. is that it is built from long term behaviors .. if somone has seen you actions over the long term and ..those actions tend to lead to little accomplishment .. then the person may not be out of place saying it .

    so do you have a vision for your own success ..or are you currently in a state that looks like failure and mad at everyone around you .

    of course we are on the same page if you got those two things from it .

    right now it may be true ..and the truth can be quite offensive..but if you realize if you are responsible for the way things are you can change them ..

    now what you might be doing and what i did ..is trying to change but lashing out at those trying to push you back into the ways you are getting away from . but each time you regress into old behaviours you blame those who pushed you back into them .

    my only option over time was to set away from everyone ..i just did it so i can't tell you how it has worked out yet .

    if you are at the point you will not replace the people you leave behind with the same type..it may be the best for your path if you find a way to move away .
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    • Profile picture of the author Milhouse20XX
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      ..despite the deep responses ,

      millhouse , are you currently at a point you have not much to show and you are lashing out at those around you ..you seem young so it happens always time to turn it around .

      a core theme of success .. is that it is built from long term behaviors .. if somone has seen you actions over the long term and ..those actions tend to lead to little accomplishment .. then the person may not be out of place saying it .

      so do you have a vision for your own success ..or are you currently in a state that looks like failure and mad at everyone around you .

      of course we are on the same page if you got those two things from it .

      right now it may be true ..and the truth can be quite offensive..but if you realize if you are responsible for the way things are you can change them ..

      now what you might be doing and what i did ..is trying to change but lashing out at those trying to push you back into the ways you are getting away from . but each time you regress into old behaviours you blame those who pushed you back into them .

      my only option over time was to set away from everyone ..i just did it so i can't tell you how it has worked out yet .

      if you are at the point you will not replace the people you leave behind with the same type..it may be the best for your path if you find a way to move away .
      Hey Odahh, thanks for your reply. To answer your question, there is no basis of truth in this person's comment. I, like everyone here, have had my fair share of victories and defeats.

      I've always taken ownership of my actions, both good and bad. I've also paid respect to people in their various successes.

      This person's comment was based in their perception of my life. Granted, they've succeeded in achieving their goals. I'm still working on mine.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
    Maybe I missed something, or everything, but I don't think he was lashing out at anyone.
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by Dain Supero View Post

      Maybe I missed something, or everything, but I don't think he was lashing out at anyone.

      i was asking him .. if the assessment was accurate in the current context of his life ..

      i had a friend who we all expected would end up in jail .. i think he is just getting out of another stint today .

      we can go on and maxx out the thread telling people to remove people like this from their lives.. but .. if the statement had basis of fact .. it may just have been what the op needed to hear .

      sometime the truth really sucks and is offensive ..

      my basic question to the op was ..is it accurate right now
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      • Profile picture of the author Dain Supero
        Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

        i was asking him .. if the assessment was accurate in the current context of his life ..

        i had a friend who we all expected would end up in jail .. i think he is just getting out of another stint today .

        we can go on and maxx out the thread telling people to remove people like this from their lives.. but .. if the statement had basis of fact .. it may just have been what the op needed to hear .

        sometime the truth really sucks and is offensive ..

        my basic question to the op was ..is it accurate right now
        I see your point, but I don't think its relevant.

        I think the point of the thread was to discuss the OP's response (and perhaps our response) to a situation, in this case a comment. What his life looks like or whether he deserved hearing the comment is irrelevant.
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  • Profile picture of the author Isabella
    The only person who can ever know if you'll ever amount to anything will be yourself. You are your greatest competition and critic and it is up to you, to amount to something. All you have to do is want to amount to something and do something about it. You shouldn't listen to them instead use those kind of people (those who look down on you) to fuel yourself to be better so in the future, you can show them that they were wrong.
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  • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
    Use those negative comments as motivation to become a Great Success.
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  • Profile picture of the author AndreaBlom
    Originally Posted by Milhouse20XX View Post

    Someone said to me today " I always knew you would never amount to anything and you'll lash out at others because of it"

    As offensive as it was, I found two great lessons in this insult.

    1) Always respect the success of others. Even if you are a complete failure, always pay respect to the people who achieve their dreams.

    2) Take ownership of your life. Even if you truly never amount to anything, take responsibility for your actions.
    I'm glad you can take a positive out of such a negative. No one has the right to say such things to others. The only thing I would add is, people should always respect others, regardless of their success level. Even the biggest failures in business deserve respect,simply because they are human beings. And oftentimes, those who never succeed in business are still extremely hardworking, dedicated and smart. Just because their business did not work out does not mean otherwise.
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  • Profile picture of the author JensSteyaert
    I wonder what exactly you need to do to amount to something?

    The fact that you are here alive and well and communicating on a forum is quite impressive if you ask me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Charles Douglas
    Words don't have any meaning, nor the power to hurt you in my opinion.
    And I think the person that said that comment, isn't any successful himself.
    In fact, I believe you achieved more success then that person.

    Do you know the reason why he made that comment?

    I'll give it a shot;
    People who ''hate'' other people, are most likely jealous.
    They didn't achieve something, but you did, or, you got something, what they want.


    In other words, do you thing and ignore your haters (aka fans).
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