What you don't do is just as important as what you do.

9 replies
It is easy to get lost in success literature, the law of attraction and motivational speeches and forget an essential thing. Success is about NOT doing certain things as it is about doing them.

In other words, motivation is choice based. It is a bit too late and I'm a bit too tired to develop on this but read a book like "The Paradox of Choice" or "Predictably Irrational" and you can see the entire scientific explanation there.

So tomorrow, don't focus on only what you must do. Create a "NOT To-Do" list. A list of things that will act as a radar towards of what you ought NOT to do.

What are those things? This depends a lot from person to person.

Here are what ruins success for me:

1. Smoking too much, ruins my mood, my energy and my mental focus.

2. Installing computer games - I play one about every two months but when I do, I find myself bored, exhausted and mentally unfocused.

3. Eating too much sugar - energy boost and then fast energy depletion.

4. Drinking Coca Cola.

5. Arguing, fighting, conflict. This kills your spirit, steals your time, ruins your life. It doesn't matter who is right. Interpersonal relationships are not discussed in a court of law.

6. Skipping breakfast.

7. Getting in long Facebook conversations for the sake of discussing things you already know and which you've discussed for the 15th time.

8. Mindless TV watching.

9. Most forms of YouTube consumption, even motivational videos. Instead of watching one, better buy a book and read it.

... and many more. What is not good for me is not relevant to everyone. But each one of us should have a list of things to do.

And until you define this list, you'll take two steps forward, one step back. You'll build a wall and then kick it down with your self-sabotaging behavior. Or you'll make it so hard to build that wall that it will take 50 - 100 - 200% more effort to do so.

And unless Warrior Forum actually brings you money or helps you in an active manner (partnerships, lead generation, education) spending time here qualifies. If you spend 30 minutes on WF just surfing topics without any actual benefit in doing this, you are not better off than spending 30 minutes watching porn.

Time wasted is time wasted, no matter if you are on a business forum, reading Forbes or watching reruns of NCIS.

Razvan
#important
  • Profile picture of the author walterwombat
    Nicotine is a cognitive enhancer. Too much of it can cause anxiety-like symptoms or make you feel generally unhealthy though.

    What ruins success for me (at least temporarily) is when I am doing research and come across a website doing something that I am working on myself. If the website looks better than mine and I feel it would take years to get to mine to that level, I get disheartened and wonder if my idea is viable. It stops me working for a while.

    I agree about spending too much time on this forum. I haven't signed up long and I have already realised that posting here is taking up more time than I would like.
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    I agree with you. I do spend time in here and that time itself doesn't always get me work but I do get a lot of work as a result of my time here. For me, it is worthwhile.
    But it is very true that spending time on Facebook, Twitter and other social sites where there's no real purpose, is a waste of time. Make plans and take action or you'll never be successful.
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    Cheers, Laurence. Writer/Editor/Proofreader.
    Website / Blog for more info.

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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    1. consuming anything with high fructose corn syrop.. i can handel regular sugar but learning to prefer brown.

    2 consuming to much red meat

    3 watching tv for any length of time.. seem i can avoid wanting to munch on something or get up and raid the fridge ..

    4 living in a cold environment or buildings that are not properly ventilated .

    5 sleeping past 7 am ....i have no clock to wake me up but i have been waking up either before or a little after 6 for the last few months and i have felt much better .. now if i could just get full nights sleep every night .

    i have a longer personal list i have put together ..mainly the point is to avoid different types of stredd on the mind and the body ..

    these very pretty women over here seem to like to get me a little drunk in order to ask me certain questions ..or see how i am.. i have never been much of a drinker so it is not going to be a regular thing lol .. i don't sleep all that well and i wake up with brain dehydration water does help with
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    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

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  • Profile picture of the author C G
    Agree.

    We tend to focus on things that we need to do in order to achieve our goals.

    Success is also about sacrifice. Build a list of things that you need to stop doing in order to attain your goals and follow the list.

    Cheers,

    C.G.
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  • Profile picture of the author rickdangelo
    I agree. We often time focus on things we believe are important but in fact those things are really much different from the things we refuse to do and sometimes the things we do is just a shortcut of something that can actually cause more negative effects in the long run. I guess this is because we are blinded by the easy way out that we often overlook what is there in the long run.
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  • Profile picture of the author Trey Morgan
    So basically, we need to write out a to-do-list and a not-to-do-list. Makes sense, I can see how that would increase one's productivity literally overnight.
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  • Profile picture of the author RogozRazvan
    Basically we need to have a list of things NOT to do as a mission statement.

    A set of principles to act as personal laws. Just as you would not drive drunk, so you shouldn't do certain things that can ruin your productivity or your life in general. This ranges from what you eat to how you deal with others to what you consume when it comes to information.

    For example, criticizing & arguing with a person never worked. Best case scenario you'll get your way but you'll stir up resentment. Worst case - you'll both lose that person and not accomplish your goal.

    This is maybe my biggest realization so far. It is like working hard to run a marathon and then shooting yourself in the leg. Our capacity for self-sabotage and self-destruction is far deeper than our capacity for creating desirable outcomes.

    Maybe the first topic on this section should be ...

    "How to stop self-sabotage".

    The problem is that once we reach a certain age, we are free to do whatever the hell we want. We have our own homes, our own income, there's no one to tell you "don't do that".

    And we do it. For stupid reasons or simply through ignorance. We do things that we know can't really help us. I'm not talking here about taking risks that come with an upside. Those are good things.

    I'm talking about self-sabotaging behavior that have a very large downside and a very small upside. Smoking. Taking drugs. Arguing. Cheating. Working too little. Working too much. Mindless spending. Starting things, never completing them not because they present no potential but because you've got bored of the project. Spending 10 hours a day on Facebook and calling this socializing. Sleeping too much or too little.

    Small or big choices that present no actual benefit nor promise of benefit ...

    ... the average american watches 6 hours of TV a day. This is an old statistic so I guess this was replaced with FB or Netflix.

    These are six hours lost. Six hours that could be used to be a better leader, parent, husband, son, etc.

    Just because you can do something, this doesn't mean you should do it. Should you take risks where you've got little to lose and a lot to win? Yes, of course. Should you invest yourself into activities that bring no actual reward than wasting your time / your health / your life?

    No.

    I can see folks on different forums with 15.000 posts. That's 15.000 types they replied in a topic. If this takes an average of one minute per post, it means 250 hours but we both know that it takes more. It takes one minute to read the topic itself and a lot more to reply.

    But let's say that they've invested only 250 hours. In 250 hours you can learn basic German. In 250 hours you can write a book. In 250 hours you can build a new room to your home.

    I have a STEAM account, even if it is empty. I saw people there investing 1500 hours in a single game. You realize what 1500 hours in a game means?

    That's 8 hours a day for 187 days.

    What could you do in 1500 hours? Even if you take the lowest paid work you can, writing articles for $5/article and an article would take you 30 minutes, you would make $10/hour or an extra $15000.

    Makes you wonder ...

    So at this moment, 7 years after generating my first cent, after living in several cities, after traveling in several countries, after reading over 100 books and meeting over 500 people in this field, my biggest realization is this.

    DON'T START WITH WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. START WITH WHAT YOU MUST NOT DO.

    If you do so, the rest will come naturally.

    Are you procrastinating? Try procrastinating without a phone, TV, YouTube and Facebook. Try procrastinating when you have nothing else to do but sleep or work. You can't. You would eventually get so bored that you would get to work.

    You know when I'm most productive?

    When I have an internet connection just enough for work but not good enough for YouTube or online movies. When there is no TV and nothing else to do. When I have only two or three choices. I can work or I can sleep or I can read something.

    On the other hand, my worst periods in my life were the ones in which I had the most stuff.

    When you have a hot tub and a huge tv and a blu-ray player and enough money not to worry about paying the bills, the last thing on your mind is work.
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  • Profile picture of the author fsiegel
    Banned
    People tend to forget things that they think are not as important as what is "important" to them. I believe that people also tend to take the "shorter" way out without actually weighing what will give long-term benefits.
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  • Profile picture of the author Amanda786
    Hi
    It's quite motivated and I believe one must focus in developing a healthy life style. Today those who have money spend lavishly buying unhealthy products and engaging themselves into unhealthy activities. I believe the choice is our to select a healthy life style or adopt unhealthy ways on living. It has not only make us lazy but we are depending more on machines and artificial ways of living. We buy products that has more chemicals and which is more expensive. We believe organic products are old ways of living not knowing the fact chemicals are poison. We like spending more time watching tv, playing computer games, using smartphones spending hours using electronic devices rather than spending quality time with our loved ones. We are forgetting our roots and this is why we are so depressed, sad, not peaceful, lack passion, anxiety, negative thinker forgetting the values.
    All these factors are making our society not a safe place to live.
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