9 hours until I will be face to face with prospects. How does this flyer look?

37 replies
I plan to begin my walk-ins at 9am this morning. (Considering it just turned 12am on Saturday.) I am going to be trying to get them to place a flyer in their store that will promote my master SMS list for their area. Once my list reaches 1,000 subscribers I can start selling my SMS blast service.

So today I am not actually selling anything. I am just offering a huge discount on my service (once it is ready) in turn for them hosting a flyer in their store to get locals to opt-in.

That being said, if a manager/owner is not in I will be leaving this brochure/flyer for him/her to see when they do get in. Do you Warriors think that this will be effective and result in phone calls?

#face #flyer #hours #prospects
  • Profile picture of the author Rolaur
    Good looking flyer. Is the discount for folks that put up the signup flyer? You might want to put something in like "free advertising" to get them to call if you have to leave something behind. You can then give them one or two blasts each month for the first two months while you are building the list and they must have your signup flyer up during that time.
    On another note, Saturday might not be the best day to go talk to these folks. Weekends are their gravy and they are typically busy. Slower off hours make for better times to get owners attention.
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  • Profile picture of the author aduttonater
    It's alot of information to read. If it's a flyer it should have important information but limited. Write sentences out on your website. A website could be an important aspect of information for your business.
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  • Profile picture of the author highincome
    I think it looks pretty good, but I don't particularly like the picture of the woman you're using. And 38% discount- maybe use 35% or 40%..
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by highincome View Post

      I think it looks pretty good, but I don't particularly like the picture of the woman you're using. And 38% discount- maybe use 35% or 40%..
      1. I agree the image of the woman needs to be changed to something better. Not a fan of that image at all. Even just an image of an attractive female looking at her phone would be better. Not a woman appearing to be having some type of fit

      2. I don't agree with changing 38% to 35% or 40%. Exact numbers like 38 are much more believable than rounded off numbers.

      3. You need a big catchy headline at the top of the page that stands out above everything else. To see what stands out for your readers walk across the other side of the room and look back at your flyer. Which part of the flyer immediately draws your eyes? It should always be the headline. At the moment all the text just blends in together. You need that one headline to be bigger and a different color and command attention. Without it you won't get people interested enough to read through the rest of the flyer.

      4. I think the flyer is just a little busy. It needs to be simplified. You don't want to give away too much information on the flyer. The whole purpose of the flyer is to get people curious enough to contact you - nothing more.
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    Use bullet points for extra effect and make the wording easier to read at a glance.
    There are a few grammatical errors that need fixing as well.
    Overall the idea is good though.
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    • Profile picture of the author Steve Solem
      I'm confused - you say you're wanting to use this to promote the master list in your area, but I see nothing on it about what's in the deal for the subscribers to signup for this list?

      I think it's a decent piece to give to business owners you want to advertise with you, although that woman looks constipated and not quite the best fit in my book.

      It's definitely not something that would help you grow your master list, and since you need the list before you can send out offers, I think you need to write something for that audience. I don't see that at all enticing "locals to opt-in" to your list there. What you need is a flyer saying more or less "Get great local deals directly to your phone - to signup text local deals to 12345 today!

      While posting flyers would be a good start, if you can afford to have some flyers/postcards printed up, see if you can get the merchant to hand one to every person that makes a purchase.

      Just a couple of thoughts there - but you're headed in the right direction ;-)

      Cheers,

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author TWalker
    Yes that woman is irritating. She looks like she is waiting for someone to stick something in her mouth.

    38% seems odd.

    Overall i like the layout, fonts and color and the message is presented fairly well.
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  • Profile picture of the author GilNelson
    The energy on the the picture of the woman is hysterical to me. I kind of like her. a) She got my attention b) She looks like my moms old aunt, so considering she's pretty old, she looks happy, I think... LOL

    I think you have a great eye. The use of white space text and images is better than most I've seen.

    Your message is not clear. Who are you addressing?

    Most of the people who see these flyers will be customers of the business, so they are not thinking of their business when they are say, at the hairdresser, or the local yogurt shop.

    I think the flyer should scream "Hey - Business Owner! - Are You Bleeding?" or something like that if you want inbound calls... otherwise, it's just art that made me smile for a few seconds while I got my yogurt.

    That being said, in local store windows, it may work well as a branding piece. ... kind of like the FB Ads that no one will click, but after a week or so of seeing them, people are used to them and now accept you into their tribe, based on having seen you before... (tricky psychological tactic that works in certain niches)

    Keep up the creativity. Add Problem, Solution, Call To Action...

    just my 2 cents

    Gil
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    • Profile picture of the author mrcouchpotato
      Nice but it definitely needs a headline. Look at any newspaper and all of the stories have an attention grabbing headline. Something like....

      We Can Put You In Front Of 1000+ Customers

      or

      We Got The Customers - You Got The Goods - Let's Talk

      The woman doesn't bother me at all. I don't think an owner will decide on your service based on that photo.

      I agree with the other post which says to use bullet points. These are easier to read and business owners will only give you a few seconds of their time when reading flyers and such. So you want to get your point out as quickly and easily as possible.

      Will you be taking the flyers (which the owners will be putting in their windows) with you as well? I'm sure they'll want to see it before committing to anything.

      Mike
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      • Profile picture of the author Neodism
        Originally Posted by GilNelson View Post

        The energy on the the picture of the woman is hysterical to me. I kind of like her. a) She got my attention b) She looks like my moms old aunt, so considering she's pretty old, she looks happy, I think... LOL

        I think you have a great eye. The use of white space text and images is better than most I've seen.

        Your message is not clear. Who are you addressing?

        Most of the people who see these flyers will be customers of the business, so they are not thinking of their business when they are say, at the hairdresser, or the local yogurt shop.

        I think the flyer should scream "Hey - Business Owner! - Are You Bleeding?" or something like that if you want inbound calls... otherwise, it's just art that made me smile for a few seconds while I got my yogurt.

        That being said, in local store windows, it may work well as a branding piece. ... kind of like the FB Ads that no one will click, but after a week or so of seeing them, people are used to them and now accept you into their tribe, based on having seen you before... (tricky psychological tactic that works in certain niches)

        Keep up the creativity. Add Problem, Solution, Call To Action...

        just my 2 cents

        Gil
        I felt like the lady was surprised at something on her cell phone. That's why I decided to use her instead of a picture of Donald Trump telling Verizon 'you're fired.'

        Originally Posted by mrcouchpotato View Post

        Nice but it definitely needs a headline. Look at any newspaper and all of the stories have an attention grabbing headline. Something like....

        We Can Put You In Front Of 1000+ Customers

        or

        We Got The Customers - You Got The Goods - Let's Talk

        The woman doesn't bother me at all. I don't think an owner will decide on your service based on that photo.

        I agree with the other post which says to use bullet points. These are easier to read and business owners will only give you a few seconds of their time when reading flyers and such. So you want to get your point out as quickly and easily as possible.

        Will you be taking the flyers (which the owners will be putting in their windows) with you as well? I'm sure they'll want to see it before committing to anything.

        Mike
        I do need to format it better, that I agree on. I just want it to be able to say enough in non-header to make them want to call. I guess I feel like it needs a lot more than it actually does.



        This is just the flyer that I took to leave with businesses if the manager's weren't in or if they wanted to keep one after speaking to me, which they all did. The flyer that they would host in their store looks like this:


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        • Profile picture of the author tpzy
          I agree with a previous poster that this flyer does nothing to grow your master list. Before local business owners will take you seriously, you need to show them results. And a master list of 1000 local phone numbers is a good place to start.

          My advice would be to create a new marketing piece altogether that focuses solely on collecting local phone numbers to opt in to your service. Put a cut off date on the offer to create a sense of urgency. Something like:

          ON NOVEMBER 27TH *your city* WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

          Then you can use the rest of the flyer to list benefits for opting in. STAY AWAY from words like "opt-in, sing up, join" because these are sure-fire words to turn prospects off. Trust me. I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night !

          I would also advise you to use QR codes or Micro$oft TAGs in your list-building efforts. They are finally to the point where John Q Public will know what to do with them and they greatly enhance opt-in rates.

          Once you have the new marketing piece approach local businesses and ask if you can put out your flyers. Thats it. No pre-sale here. No warming them up. Nothing. Just explain that you are trying to build a list of local patrons who want to save money. Some won't, most will.

          If you don't hit 1000 numbers by your target date, create new marketing material and extend the date a month. When you go to update your current locations with new flyers they will see that you haven't given up.


          ... and when you approach them 30 days later with proof that you wrangled 1000 local phone numbers in 30 or so days, they'll be more inclined to take you seriously!
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          • Profile picture of the author Neodism
            Originally Posted by tpzy View Post

            I agree with a previous poster that this flyer does nothing to grow your master list. Before local business owners will take you seriously, you need to show them results. And a master list of 1000 local phone numbers is a good place to start.

            My advice would be to create a new marketing piece altogether that focuses solely on collecting local phone numbers to opt in to your service. Put a cut off date on the offer to create a sense of urgency. Something like:

            ON NOVEMBER 27TH *your city* WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

            Then you can use the rest of the flyer to list benefits for opting in. STAY AWAY from words like "opt-in, sing up, join" because these are sure-fire words to turn prospects off. Trust me. I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night !

            I would also advise you to use QR codes or Micro TAGs in your list-building efforts. They are finally to the point where John Q Public will know what to do with them and they greatly enhance opt-in rates.

            Once you have the new marketing piece approach local businesses and ask if you can put out your flyers. Thats it. No pre-sale here. No warming them up. Nothing. Just explain that you are trying to build a list of local patrons who want to save money. Some won't, most will.

            If you don't hit 1000 numbers by your target date, create new marketing material and extend the date a month. When you go to update your current locations with new flyers they will see that you haven't given up.


            ... and when you approach them 30 days later with proof that you wrangled 1000 local phone numbers in 30 or so days, they'll be more inclined to take you seriously!
            Very good advice! I will take it all into consideration to formulate my next plan. =)

            So just walk into businesses and ask to post my flyer on their counter rather than offering them anything or informing them about the service?
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            • Profile picture of the author tpzy
              Originally Posted by Larches View Post

              Very good advice! I will take it all into consideration to formulate my next plan. =)

              So just walk into businesses and ask to post my flyer on their counter rather than offering them anything or informing them about the service?
              EXACTLY! Your first priority should be to build your list! Imagine going to a business to sell them a magic thumb tack. The response is HUUUGE and you sell a thousand thumb tacks on the first day. Problem is, you don't have any thumb tacks! (See what I'm getting at?)

              Create a new flyer- one that targets local consumers. Encourage them to sign up before a deadline. Once you have the magic number, THEN and ONLY THEN should you approach the same business owners about using your service.

              I plan on offering WSO's and other services here very soon but I understand that in order for my expertise in offline marketing to be taken seriously I need to build some credibility. I'll help you for FREE on this project if you'll only post a review or thank you for my services. Doesn't get much easier than that!

              Send me a PM and we'll get this ball rolling!
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  • Profile picture of the author apolwar
    Your flyer looks great. Cool, clear and well-thought out. Very presentable.

    My suggestion is the woman in the picture should have been shot in a different angle. She looks scared-shock of the what she is reading on her phone. It should have been she looks mighty happy-shock of what is on the phone.

    Or maybe I'm wary with her little waist bend towards the phone?
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    • Profile picture of the author DEaFeYe
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      • Profile picture of the author JToneyUK
        Lol, that was inevitable! Someone just had to come out with it...:rolleyes:

        Originally Posted by DEaFeYe View Post

        Really? Cuz to me it looks like a bj face

        and the last message we want to get across is sucking
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      • Profile picture of the author apolwar
        Originally Posted by DEaFeYe View Post

        Really? Cuz to me it looks like a bj face

        and the last message we want to get across is sucking
        That's how you interpret it? lol She might have been scared of the what she saw on the phone. Her eyebrows were up to her forehead.
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  • Profile picture of the author Pestew
    The "1 in 8 ads sent out result in a sale" is absolutely the most powerful part in the whole flier and should definitely be your headline.

    The sub-headline should be as Mike said but add a couple extra words:

    Imagine If We Can Put You In Front Of 1000+ Customers ...
    Who Would Instantly Get Your Ad!


    Let them do the math, then you've got them thinking, not just reading.

    Also you need to get specific on your reference about who supplied the survey in order to re-enforce credibility.-Pete
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    • Profile picture of the author WillR
      Originally Posted by Pestew View Post

      The "1 in 8 ads sent out result in a sale" is absolutely the most powerful part in the whole flier and should definitely be your headline.
      I'm not convinced it is the best headline you could be using. If I was a business owner and I saw that type of headline it is basically saying to me I will need to spend money to make money - that's what advertising is all about. Most business owners don't know what they are doing with their advertising so many will have tried before, failed, and vowed never to waste their money doing it again. Advertising usually equals RISK - something your typical business owner does not like.

      Even changing the word 'Ad' to the word' Message' makes the headline a little less intimidating. However by using a headline like this you also are going to need to be able to back up that statistic with real world results. Business owners will take that as a typical result and if/when they don't have the same luck with their campaign, might start questioning your methods or worse still, ask for their money back.
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  • Profile picture of the author AdamWagner
    Too much copy, you want an ad that will entice the reader and bring them to a website or a phone line where they can learn more about the service.

    What is your tagline? Make the tagline "pop" somewhere, so a reader can know what the ad is for in one glance.

    The general direction is good, but it does not catch the eye. The ad is too busy.
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  • Profile picture of the author TycoonRob
    The image of the woman I'm not sold on. I get the idea (the surprise) but I kind of agree that a more attractive woman smiling or even a little surprised might be a better option. I do like some of the other suggestions and would do things like bullet points, and make a few of the changes like change "ad" to "message" and make it a little mysterious.

    Overall, it's a pretty nice looking flyer that should get you some inquiries at least if not some future customers. Good job.
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  • Profile picture of the author limecellular
    I agree with a lot of the previous posts. Too much copy. While I agree the woman isn't sexy enough I want to stress that it's not necessarily about her appearance, but making the act of advertising via text sexy and appealing. The 'want and love' part is good, you need to use more color and words like that to cater to the emotions of consumers. Take words out like almost, yes while they serve to modify and put in more realistic terms, you want an ad that communicates, "the sky's the limit". Also, the discount part is more important than you make it to be, but also I can see that maybe you made it smaller in order to suggest exlcusivity. Capitalize thousands.

    Hmm, maybe this should be in the copywriting section...
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  • Profile picture of the author Simeon Tuitt
    Hi, I couldn't see the image of the flyer that gets people to optin the image is missing above. The woman in the image is kind of funny to look at though. The businesses you are walking into do they have lots of customers and passing trade? Have you considered a mobile lead capture approach as opposed to the flyer optin route?
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  • Profile picture of the author Neodism
    Well, how about this one. Instead of starting a new thread, this is a flyer I just threw together for a business that I talked to and I believe I might be able to sell on the monthly service. They currently have about 100 subscribers, but they use an iPhone to send out ads....

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  • Profile picture of the author TheGreyling
    Personally I think it's just a bit too wordy. Too much to read at a glance. If you can find a few images that convey the same message (like loads of people running into a shop or something) and shorten the sentences to headlines I think people would actually get to the end. I'm afraid I didn't - maybe I'm not typical - but then again......

    I did have another thought tho' - nothing to do with your flyer, more to do with the concept.

    You're going to collect numbers from as many people as possible right? Across all types of business? When you sell the blasts, how are you going to avoid the recipients being bombarded with text messages all day every day? Let me explain....

    Say the local pizza place wants to send a blast. Fine - that's one.
    Then the hairdresser wants a go. That's two.
    The hardware store is having a slow day. Now it's 3 for the recipients - not so good.
    The next business is going to be number 4 and the response is going to drop off big time.
    If you've got dozens of local stores how are you going to manage the flow?

    Your recipients aren't targeted in any way that I can see. Is that right? Don't get me wrong - I think you're on to something - I was just wondering about the practicalities of implementing it this way.

    Just my thoughts.
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  • Profile picture of the author Aaron Doud
    I think as long as he makes sure he is sending true deals to his list and that he limits it to one per day he should be fine. Many people subscribe to daily deal lists.

    Myself I wouldn't want 3 or 4 texts a day but 1 a day where at least once a week the deal appeals to me I would stay on the list.
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    • Profile picture of the author Nick Surran
      I agree with lordauric here. I would consider creating a calendar so you when you sell your text blasts you then block that day out and make sure you don't send any other offers.
      Originally Posted by lordauric View Post

      I think as long as he makes sure he is sending true deals to his list and that he limits it to one per day he should be fine. Many people subscribe to daily deal lists.

      Myself I wouldn't want 3 or 4 texts a day but 1 a day where at least once a week the deal appeals to me I would stay on the list.
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      • Profile picture of the author flashcash
        Interested in how you get on with this is I am planning to undertake something similiar myself in my local area.

        Good luck.

        Ken
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        • Profile picture of the author Neodism
          Originally Posted by TheGreyling View Post

          Personally I think it's just a bit too wordy. Too much to read at a glance. If you can find a few images that convey the same message (like loads of people running into a shop or something) and shorten the sentences to headlines I think people would actually get to the end. I'm afraid I didn't - maybe I'm not typical - but then again......

          I did have another thought tho' - nothing to do with your flyer, more to do with the concept.

          You're going to collect numbers from as many people as possible right? Across all types of business? When you sell the blasts, how are you going to avoid the recipients being bombarded with text messages all day every day? Let me explain....

          Say the local pizza place wants to send a blast. Fine - that's one.
          Then the hairdresser wants a go. That's two.
          The hardware store is having a slow day. Now it's 3 for the recipients - not so good.
          The next business is going to be number 4 and the response is going to drop off big time.
          If you've got dozens of local stores how are you going to manage the flow?

          Your recipients aren't targeted in any way that I can see. Is that right? Don't get me wrong - I think you're on to something - I was just wondering about the practicalities of implementing it this way.

          Just my thoughts.
          I will send no more than 2 ads a day to the master list due to spam reasons. So my clients will begin reserving spots, etc. The service works here in my home town. There are two lists. One has 3600 and the other has 4600. I am subscribed to the 3600 list and I get 1-3 text deals a day. People love it here.
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  • Profile picture of the author apolwar
    Larches, what's the update? Did your customer/s liked it?
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    • Profile picture of the author Jacko
      I like the girl on the picture, BUT the
      cellphone she is using is tooooo old.

      She has an amazing expression, like:
      "OOOOHHH! this ad on my cellphone is just what I want"

      but that celphone she's holding is something. . .

      Bullet points as somebody has told before would be
      a really good idea.

      Good Luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author Neodism
    I got no calls. It's been almost a week. Plan B.
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    • Profile picture of the author apolwar
      Originally Posted by Larches View Post

      I got no calls. It's been almost a week. Plan B.
      Maybe a new picture on there? Or maybe like a comic book treatment to your ad depicting a story of SMS marketing?
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    • Profile picture of the author Simeon Tuitt
      Originally Posted by Larches View Post

      I got no calls. It's been almost a week. Plan B.
      Hi Larches, do not be discouraged by no contact back, you will need to follow up. Is it the businesses you have had no contact back from or no optins from your flyer? Businesses get real busy and quite simply forget you, so grab their e-mail address when you go in and e-mail them your flyer too or call them a day or 2 later to see if they are interested in what you have too offer. Have you considered other ways of growing your text optin list without doing it through ad placements in local businesses? One thing you may want to do is use what you are offering to close them and take down their mobile number and follow up by text every other day with a short prompting message.

      It is real powerful when you use what you are selling to close businesses. Over here in the UK and in the USA their is the ability to set up instant AUTO RESPONSE text messages, people send a word by text like FOOD to 60844 and then get a pre written text message back. For food places you can show them this by setting up a text coupon that gets sent in the text they receive back saying something like "BRING THIS TEXT IN WITHIN THE NEXT 3 DAYS AND GET A FREE DESERT" or something like that.

      That way all passers by the business who text the code they see in the window have a reason to visit the place, trade will pick up from when its implemented and grow the business an optin list that you manage or grow you an optin list while you provide the service. I hope you find this useful. ;-)
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      • Profile picture of the author tomzuck
        Originally Posted by Information Publishing View Post

        Hi Larches, do not be discouraged by no contact back, you will need to follow up.
        This is the truth. Following up is an absolutely must. Making sales is about building trust with a customer. You can't expect the customer to trust you with their credit card information after five minutes of talking with them.

        Show them you want their business. Follow up!!
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  • Profile picture of the author SarahRose
    When my eyes rested on the flyer the 1st time, I didn't know where to start reading. I think you get my point.

    Bullet points will be a good start on top of a startling headline.
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