So I went on and built two demo sites and replied back to them with their demos. Its been 24 hours now and none of them have responded back. The following is the exact message I sent them, please critique it:
Hi (Owners name),
You can check out the mobile friendly site I created for you by clicking the link below:
(Business name) Mobile Site Demo
Here are the features that I've added to your mobile site:
- Added an image slider which contains all the images you had on your home page(All the images are mobile optimized, which means they can be easily viewed on a mobile phone.)
- Added a "Click to Call" button. Clicking this button will enable your potential customers to call you with a click of a button instead of having to type/remember the number!
- Added a "Contact Us" page. Customers will be able to e-mail you using the mobile friendly contact form. All e-mails will be sent to your e-mail address.
- Added a "Menu" page. I only added a few items here copied from your old website. I will add all your menu items after I transfer the site to your hosting
- Added a "Find Us" button. Whenever a potential customer clicks on it, they will be given directions to your pizzeria! This makes it really easy for them to find your location using the integrated GPS on their phones.
The difference between the regular website and the mobile site is noticeable when viewed from a smartphone(iPhone, iPads etc). I actually took a screenshot of how your current website looks like when opened on a smartphone and attached it to this e-mail.
You can clearly see how hard it is to navigate the regular website compared to the mobile site I created.
The text is too big, and it will take a lot of time to load the images because they are not properly optimized for phones.
I charge a flat fee of $267 for a mobile site. This includes free hosting, maintenance, upgrades, and in depth reporting and analytics sent to you every month. The link below will take you to Paypal where you can submit the payment.
Submit Payment(This is a link to a paypal page where they can submit their payment)
Once you have completed the payment I will personally install the mobile site to your hosting account at no extra cost.
If you have any question, please feel free to contact me.
Owner of XXXXX
Can someone suggest what am I doing wrong?
Have I really shown them the value why they should buy the mobile site?
Am I creating urgency for them to buy it?
Should I not mention the price at all? And get them to become even more interested then reply back with the pricing when they state their interest to purchase?
Any suggestion/advise will be really appreciated !