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What do you think of them? Vacuums play an important role not only in your home but in the universe as a whole, from planets, suns and galaxies, to the microcosmos of quantum physics.



(dedicated to Claude Whitacre, not that he wants it LOL)
  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Oh goodie - I get to be the first one here to make the observation that vacuum cleaners suck.

    Gee I bet I didn't steal anyone's thunder with that one, huh?
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
      Banned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Oh goodie - I get to be the first one here to make the observation that vacuum cleaners suck.

      Gee I bet I didn't steal anyone's thunder with that one, huh?
      Ok ... I got one now. Vacuum Cleaners are dirty little sex machines of perversion
      The 5 Most Painful Masturbation Techniques You’ll Probably Still Try Because, Let’s Face It, Men Are Gross, and Sometimes Romance Can Be Just As Painful
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      • Profile picture of the author alistair
        Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

        Ok ... I got one now. Vacuum Cleaners are dirty little sex machines of perversion
        True story. I have a female friend that had a bad accident pleasuring herself with the hose on a vacuum cleaner only yesterday. I won't tell you where it got stuck. Anyway, I went to visit her in hospital today and found out she was in intensive care. When I spoke to the doctors they said although her condition was still serious, she was picking up nicely.
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      • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
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          • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    You stole mine. lol. Now I have nothing to say about vacuum cleaners.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    This won't end well.











    (It'll attract the wrong kind of posters).
    Signature
    Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
    It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      First, thank you for the attention.



      When I'm outside the store, the last thing I want to talk about is vacuum cleaners.

      If I didn't sell them for a living, I wouldn't even know what brand we own.

      A quick vacuum cleaner story.

      Years ago, I used to sell rebuilt vacuum cleaners. So my store room was packed with used vacuum cleaners. Hundreds. In my display window, I had a 1905 upright vacuum on display, as a novelty.

      One day, a young man and his girlfriend came in, and the guy said "How much for that vacuum cleaner in the window?" He was the first vacuum cleaner collector I had ever met.

      I was going to charge him $20. He said "I have $75 on me. I can get more if you need it."

      It tickled me that he was so eager. I told him. "For $75 you can have the vacuum cleaner in the window, and anything you find in the store room, that you can take with you"

      He was there for hours, sifting through the mess, finding treasure. He made my day.
      I just thought it was great that he was so happy with his find.


      I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        (It'll attract the wrong kind of posters).
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        <snip>
        Told you so.
        Signature
        Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
        It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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      • Profile picture of the author Richard Van
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.
        How extraordinary. Over here we just let them stand by themselves.

        Must have been an incredible thing to lean your vacuum on for her to have married you so soon after.

        Have you got any others?
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        Wibble, bark, my old man's a mushroom etc...

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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post


        I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.
        Obvoiusly, the vacuum leaner isn't working for you. Is it too late to get a refund?
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I met my wife in my store, she bought a vacuum leaner from me, and we got married three months later.
        The least you could have done is refund her purchase price, but I'll bet she's still making payments on that sucker.


        Originally Posted by alistair View Post

        True story. I have a female friend that had a bad accident pleasuring herself with the hose on a vacuum cleaner only yesterday.
        Why on earth would she tell anyone what happened?
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        Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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        • Profile picture of the author alistair
          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          Why on earth would she tell anyone what happened?
          I think she just wanted to come clean.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Well heysal,

    You know how german can be:
    staubsauger! dust sucker vacuum cleaner!
    spulmaschine! rinse machine dish washer!

    I ESPECIALLY like the rinse machine! In the US, people constantly poke fun at them. Advertisers always tell you how BAD they were when they basically say "[but NOW] WE DO BETTER!"! The GERMANS call it what it is!

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
    As long as it has a vibrating riffle tray!
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  • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
    Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

      I always wanted to stick my thing into a vacuum hose and hit 'suck'
      We know........
      Signature
      Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
      It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Then look no further than the New Dyson Baller. Perfect for a Walking Carpet. It beats, as it sweeps, as it reams.
      Signature

      Where ever you go, there you are.

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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Jeez TB - it's about time to rename this thread.

    Something like "testosterone dementia thread" would be a little bit
    apropos.
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
      Banned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Jeez TB - it's about time to rename this thread.

      Something like "testosterone dementia thread" would be a little bit
      apropos.
      This is what happens when you steal my perfectly innocent line and I have to come up with a new one.
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

        This is what happens when you steal my perfectly innocent line and I have to come up with a new one.
        Yeah, blame it on me. We all know you're as expert as Claude when it comes to derailing threads. Fortunately, you don't go completely insane over it like the guys do.
        Signature

        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
        Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author Khemosabi
    Two words

    SHOP VAC


    "If properly used, it can remove the fingerprints"
    "They'll be nothing left for the police dogs"

    nuff said.
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