...when you look in your kitchen cabinet to find niche ideas.

Yup, I sense a legendary thread in the making. Definitely subscribing and bookmarking this thread to keep an eye on it. Was laughing so hard at the ones OP made.

LOL! You guys mind if I post this on one of my sites?

I can link back to you

Here's a few I had sitting on my pc from ages ago...

.. if you take your laptop to the bathroom instead of a newspaper

... when the word "viral" is used in the offline world, you automatically think "viral marketing" rather than sickness as the person meant.

...can't watch TV without commenting on the commercials and seeing how you could do better.

Sven---AWESOME post! I really enjoyed reading that, and the best part is we all can relate

.....when you're kids ask if they can do a job to earn pocket money you tell them to build a blog.....

.....when you're husband complains that you spend more time with the laptop than with him.....

.....when the ironing starts piling up around your desk and never gets done....

I love this one, I do feel stupid every time someone asks what I do, then you have to try and explain it and they really just have no idea

when you always consider everyday stuff, as a possible niche.lol

- you jump the clerk in the store when you buy something and they don't try to upsell you.

Thanks,

John

... when your GA fails to report your KPIs of your PPC campaign and you worry about how you spent too much time worrying about your SEM skills when you really should be concerned with your SMM skills, not to mention the lack of taking advantage of CPA and learning how to maximize your ROI with CPM and PPV campaigns...

Just another day at the office... yawn..

...your social life consists of posting in the OT section instead of the main forums.

...you turn a sickly shade of green and start shivering when you're disconnected from the Internet for too long.

When you gotta get out of bed to write down an idea for an ebook you thought of as you went to sleep...........

... you give your spouse a timed offer for dinner at a fancy restaurant and if they do not make up their mind in 2 hours take them to Burger King instead

when you go to bed when everyone else is getting up.

When you tell everyone you're signing up for/just signed up for an online coaching program and the first words out of everyones mouth are "Is it a scam"?

Funny because I was trying to help a friend sign up for hosting and sent him a hosting company w/ aff link and when he texted I told him to check in the spam.... there it was LOL

...when you've done five figure launches with people you've never met
...when you're planning a 7 figure launch with people you've never met face to face and you don't think it's THAT unusual :-)

Doug

... when your wife creates a Warrior profile to PM you

Thanks for the laugh guys!!!

Cheers, Pete

when you feel no life, your eyes tired, your low back pain, but you don't need to worry about money.

...When you BUMP your local classifieds as soon as they hit the Page 3.

... when you start to have fat accumulating at the tummy area because you spend too many hours in front of the 2 big screens (TV and PC)

... when you wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, have your breakfast and then go for another one hour nap

- When you try to pay for your goceries with your Paypal account.

LMAO!

This one is going to my blog!!! LOL!

Igor

[DELETED]

When you skype your wife whose computer is a short passage away

Michael

[DELETED]

...you've got a bunch of unused domains laying around

...you've started blogging about internet marketing (if you aren't you're not an IMer )

...your friends think you've got super powers when you're getting "payment received" notifications on your blackberry while sitting at a bar.

...you've spent more than $1000 on various IM courses and ebooks

...you work late and sleep till noon

Chris

...you've had to define "e-book" over 500 times

...you're shocked when people you talk to don't know what Google Adwords is ("you know, the little ones at the side...")

...you have to explain, over and over, that copywriting has nothing to do with intellectual property protection

You know you're an Internet marketer when you've made your first money online, can show the proof and yet people still ask when you're going to get a "real J-O-B?"

-- your neighbor asks you if your "webmastr" license plate is a spiderman reference

your kids want you to babysit or go out with them every day since you're at home and seem to be doing nothing.

if you spend at least 2 hours in the computer everyday.:-)

...you get more email from opt-in lists than you get in your spam folder.

Absolutely hilarious! lol

When you develop a strange ability to bring ANY conversation topic back to IM.

When your friends and family know this is a certainty and are through with being polite

you don't leave your house and your computer for 3 days in a row...

you discover an IM secret and feel like you "cracked the code"...

you wonder why people still want to have other jobs...

...you get out of bed at 2pm, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the bed to the PC.

...you go to bed at 4am, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the PC to the bed.

Can't visit a website without seeing how it is being monetized.

you have to explain to your friends that if they click on that link someone makes 50 cents to 3 dollars.

you have more than 10 email addresses.

When you tell your friend that the simple solution to his immediate financial dilemma is to write an ebook and sell it online. ("Just write about your passion.")

When you can't understand why the GREAT website you put up to wish your friend Happy Anniversary wasn't clicked on more than once. (Don't they show it to EVERYONE)

When you fall asleep at the keyboard and wake up to see a complete 450 page article on your latest "passion."

When you finally let a URL expire after not using it for 4 years and still feel like you've lost a child. And, when you feel bitter toward the terrible person who registered that URL you let expire. (Kidnapper)

When you HAVE to have the Internet and email feature on your cell phone.

When you wake up in the middle of the night and register the GREAT URL that popped up in a dream, and later wonder what it means. Just two of mine, long since expired, were xoflax.com and investingurl.com ..... what the heck is a xoflax?

When your host goes down for 5 minutes and you think it's the end of your world as you know it.

When it's time to pay for hosting and it's either hosting or eating. Paying the hosting is a no brainer.

When you could set and type answers to this thread and others can come up with more answers and there is very little Dupe Content.

George Wright

Ha... this is classic

I remember helping my 12 year old son with a few projects and all of them sounded like sales letters... Then he came home one day and had to develop an infomercial - I was in heaven and together we created a dam good infomercial.

Needless to say he got an A+

I find my internet marketing skills are used every day in everything I do anywhere at any time... LOL

Mike Hill

..when you start reading books on business and IM and actually find the interesting.

..when you can sit and read a 200 page report on how to improve your traffic and actually take something away from it.

..when you have dreams about what you should be doing next to improve your business.

[DELETED]

ha! That is great!

never ending awesome laughter list... thanks everyone

You don´t shave for a week!

.. when someone in the marketing dept (at your day job) has a new product idea and you immediately use the Google keyword tool to see of there is a market for it.
.. when you make a website ranking well on Google to sell your car
.. you get snail mail from a local business and you almost call them to suggest using a bigger font and a clear call to action.
.. you can't visit a website without asking yourself how it's monetized
.. you see a billboard while driving and immediately ask yourself what the clickthrough rate and CPM could be

...When you start you copy with" Dear friend "as if you have met the person before

.... When you "split test" your Dunkin Donuts order to see which prompts a faster response!

.... When you your wife asks you to "pass the ketchup" and you throw in a "one time offer" that leads to a continuity program!

...you finish every conversation with 'But if you act now, in the next 10 minutes'

This is an awesome post Sven. Most of this stuff I don't do though, hahaha

... when your wife can't get pregnant and you start thinking how to generate more
'targeted traffic' or how to improve her 'conversion rate'

...When you actually read every single word in this thread because you find it funny.

...When you wake up and feel annoyed about having to delete all these Payment Notification e-mails.

When you go to bed money making ideas are floating in your mind.

When you wonder why chain stores don't hold Giveaway Events.

When you start giving friends Free Reports when they ask for advice.

When your children tell their teachers they'll do a 500-word assignment for $20 (but if they act RIGHT NOW...)

Your husband thinks you're a shopaholic because all you ever do is browse WSOs.

. . when your on vacation and the hotel your staying at has a computer room and you find yourself staying there all night on the web

...When you spend so much time on the computer that you have to bury it when it eventually dies

...When you speak in abbreviations (PPC, SEO, MMR, WSO) to people who have NO idea what you are talking about

...When you GASP at the idea of NOT having a website

...You who is lookup websites that your friends own

...You use Google for anything other than a search engine

...You use youtube for something other than watching Lolcats

...You wish there was a 'Hello' magazine for im celebrities

...You choke when people tell you they have no idea what article marketing is

When you think of improving the conversion or Click-thru rate of your homework assignments :S

[DELETED]

..you finish your work day early and still spend hours just browsing through the warrior forums.

This is hilarious but true! If I try to explain what I do online with my mom, she'll give me that blank stare as if I'm talking gibberish.

*LMAO* @ the OP - Thanks for cheering me up at work.

*LOL* @ genietoast's "...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror."

*LOL* @ Ben_Curtis' "When you gotta get out of bed to write down an idea for an ebook you thought of as you went to sleep..........."

Which brings me to mine - ...when you go to sleep Your dreams consist only of IM related matters(I get a lot of good ideas in bed)

[DELETED]

Nice ones XD

.....when you draw a Johnson box around everything you want others to put their attention to

...when you meet new people you automatically ask for their email addresses

...you tell everyone "I bought this before. Guess what I found?"

...you ask for the 'conversion rate' when applying to college/a job/whatever that has a percentage chance of getting into

...you tend to click the "ok" instead of the "cancel" button in a popup

...you write an article in 7 minutes, and feel good about it

.. when you think that everyone in university is STUPIDLY struggling to get a perfect GPA so that they can ensure a good career.

.. when everything in your eyes everywhere is about opportunities, risk and money..

.. when you buy domains like the way you eat apples. "a domain a day keeps the doctor away. "

.. when everyone is out at work and you are the only one at home.

...when you see a great bargain at the store and immediately wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.
..... when you hear that a relative or friend is having financial problems, you immediately think how they could sell their expertise online.
----when you can't figure out why offline businesses can't see the need to update their websites or do things to get traffic.
...when you love those times when the family all go out and leave you and your computer alone together for awhile.

- When you spend more time on the Warrior Forum, than you do with your partner!

When you find yourself critiqueing tv commercials

When you give telemarketers feedback when they call

When you 'grade' advertisements you see during the day.

When spam doesn't piss you off because you get it, but because of sloppy execution (and you mail the originator with feedback)

-- When you your wife is upset and asks you a question, you think about split-testing your reply...

[DELETED]

I find myself forever checking out marketing, even offline.

For instance i was sitting at a stoplight the other day at a fairly busy intersection. It occurred to me that within my field if vision there were over 85 advertisements in the form of billboards at varying heights and i tell my girlfriend this, then start talking about how height, lit vs non-lit, colors, location from intersection, type of billboard being used could possibly effect the various ads.

Here eyes glazed over in the same fashion mine do when she starts talking about shoes.

.............. you work at all odd hours!
..............you work in your bathroom slippers!
..............get up at 4 am to check your paypal account or how many sales you have made
..............find it difficult to explain people what you do
..............think of hot niches before you finally fall asleep



That's me!

[DELETED]

A lot of these hit home!

[DELETED]

When the only sign that you ever move is the RSI in your mouse wrist.

When you have the Vitamin D levels of a 90 year old in a home.

When someone tells you they're having financial trouble, and your first thought is what ebook topic to suggest to them.

When instead of buying gifts for people you build them a website - the gift that keeps on giving.

When you give a bum some money, hoping that the 'law of reciprocity' will come into play, and he'll give you his millions some day...

When you have an Aweber list with all your friends and family on it, so you can just mail them all with your latest updates

when all your friends are marketers and love them all for all the free stuff they give each other.

when you are travelling on a vacation and you're using a laptop on a beach desperately trying to send out an email promo for your friend's launch

gosh.. I'm really loving this! LOL.. thanks Warriors for the great laugh!

when you go to sleep at night with your laptop switched on beside you..

...when your daughter tries to wake you up and you say, "Quit yelling keywords at me!"

...when you are half-awake and looking at your cat, thinking about how he does keywords and marketing.

My girlfriend did the first one and I have done the second. Seems like there are a few more but these two really stand out.

[DELETED]

This is probably the funniest thread I've read in months. LOL


my favorite

Gads this is the most entertainment I've seen here in forever. Sven, this one you gave-- "...you have a link to your opt-in-page on your business card." oh my gosh, what a gem!

The only one I can think of is... When you go to the grocery store and see a sign saying "new product" over an item, and you ask the manager for the link to the leader board and affiliate page.

When you sleep by your laptop, and first thing when you wake up, is to see if there are any new WSOs that you want.

[DELETED]

[DELETED]

after having your breakfast, start your daily activity with checking stats and traffic..

When you quit your day job and sit at your computer at home all day and night trying to make easy money - and find out that you work harder at home than you did when you had a day job.

When your wife tells you to mow the yard instead of playing at the computer all day and you tell her that as long as the grass is not as tall as the house we can still find where we live and if it gets taller than the house we can still find the house because we know it's at the back of the lot with the tall weeds in the neighborhood.

When you wife doesn't even try to get you to eat with the family anymore - she just brings your plate to you at your computer.

When company comes over your wife has to entertainment them by herself because you stay at the computer - and close the door to the room - because they are making so much noise you can't think.

It makes you mad when you're in the middle of doing something to your website and you have to go to the bathroom.

When you buy a walkie-talkie set and tell your wife to keep hers with her at all times so if you need some coffee or something you can call her and tell her without having to leave the computer and what you're working on.

...you make ur first sale :-)
- your friends look at u suspiciously
- you stop having time for idle friends

[DELETED]

....When your family member calls you and asks you if they can talk to you for a minute and you find yourself either pitching them on your coaching program or ask them to submit a support ticket at the help desk.


...Your barber or hair stylist makes the usual small talk and ends up becoming your latest offline gold client

...You go to the bookstores and insert your business cards into the books that deal with how to make money, the internet, marketing, etc.

...You pay your weekly tithe sending the pastor your 10% via paypal and write "tithe" in the subject line.

....When you look at recent successful online models (like Twitter) and think how to better that idea to make your first billion

Bhupinder

You phone your elderly Mother at 4:00 am to celebrate getting
Filezilla to work properly.

When you pay someone to do your homework and call it outsourcing <--- True Story

good share!

You buy the grandkids a pony and whilst watching your friend schooling it have a brilliant idea for a membership site (that was me yesterday lol)

Kim

You look for traffic stats in the morning paper...

> When you and your wife email each other, even though you're only sitting 20 feet apart.

> When that isn't working, you consider teaching her about Instant Messaging...

You freak out!!! When you misplace your dictation machine... =0

I have still a lot to learn to be called Internet marketer. I don't consider myself as one cause I am still on the process of gathering info's and tips on how to be one.

Eventually soon I will get there.

when you see yourself in almost each of these posts, laugh hysterically, and then proceed to get depro because its now over

When you see "IM" and you think it stands for "Internet Marketing".

When you read that and think "but of course, what else could it possibly stand for?!"...

When you walk to your mailbox and smile because instead of another bill,
it's another clickbank check.