Do you have friends? I have no social life.

Did you hear a thing about "online dating"?

You should enter chatrooms and such. Install Camfrog on your computer.

Interact with your customers, make friends with them.

glad to see this was moved to the off-topic section...

I have tons of friends from all over. Know how I did that? I put up a website on my favorite hobby in the world that I wanted t make into a bit of a business, too (rock and gem hunting). Then I'd meet up with people that joined and lived close enough that we could meet. Because we had the hobby in common, it was easier to have something to talk about than if we were just strangers meeting - and because we talked a lot in the forums before we met up, we were a little familiar with each other already. so it wasn't quite as awkward as meeting total strangers. I have 2 new people who want to go on a hunt with me as soon as we can get weather to do it.

So anyway - that's the best advice I've got in my pocket for ya.

You have got to plan your time more effectively, you got to have some down time mate ! You cant spend all your time working , you got to have leisure time it's very important !

I'd say get out and do some volunteer work in something that interests you.
Make the volunteer cause the primary reason and meeting people the secondary
reason for volunteering. Takes the social pressure off and still gives you practice
talking to new people.

Maybe people are reluctant to warm up to someone that refers to himself using the word evil. Just a thought.

Not to worry good friend - with the amount of posts you've made to this forum, someone is surely to come along soon with a Great and Powerful Answer - (never mind that affiliate link behind the curtain).

Join a Gym and start pumping some heavy iron, and eat like a horse and you will lose all ur anxiety issues and feel like a God, just like me

Start making alot of money & go out to celebrate once in a while. Usually meet people when you're not even trying.

Residentevil....do you have a name? We all have our online names, but down here, if you want advice, saying your name, or signing it, will give a more "want to meet new friends", kind of perception.

That being said. What Cali16 said was spot on. Others gave you great advise as well. You have mentioned the word "girlfriend" more than once. Why? Don't you think that having social interaction without, or at least minimal, anxiety should be your first and foremost goal?

From a non professional point of view, just someone that spends way too much time at home. I too have a type of anxiety. I consider mine more along the lines of separation anxiety. I really do hate leaving my property. I worry about everything. However, I do it. You have to do it.

Go, go and see people. Human interaction is something that is tantamount to ... well, humans. Stop focusing on forming a certain type of relationship, just focus on learning what it's like to talk to people and interact with them. You'd be surprised what you'll learn. Don't let the thought of being let down hinder you.

What I mean by that is this:... You are never going to find 100% of people to your liking, and that's okay. Even someone you dislike will teach you something.

To sum up your original question, there is a huge world out there. There are so many great people here in the basement, that are just.. well, super people. It's okay to talk to people online as well as going outside. But, you need to take steps beyond asking for help. You need to help yourself.. So, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

~ Theresa

I can't give you any industry specific advice OP, as I'm not really in the IM niche as much as I just come here because I love marketing, but I have some similar issues to yours. However, I can tell you that you aren't alone. I do have a wife that I love very much and even work with every day, but outside of that we're about as alone as it gets. We're both introverts, were raised in a very isolating religion, and both have narcissistic anti-social families (and probably have our own tendencies that way). I was bullied relentlessly as a kid because we were poor and I was a skinny kid that excelled academically. I too have social anxiety issues stemming from lots of things. I tend to be annoyed by people that we run into in daily life and although I love coming here and on other forums neither of us seems to have any clue how to have friends beyond random arms length interactions. Our clients in our business love us and invite us to do things but we've shied away from that because we're not really sure how to hang out with people. My wife understands people more than I do. I crushed the online Asperger's Quiz and don't see the world the same as a lot of people. I find really intelligent people on forums that I genuinely like, but don't often find them in my daily life. Some of our clients fit the bill, but it isn't something we've broached outside of cleaning homes for those people. We do have some epic conversations though. The people I grew up around were mostly poor and unambitious and just complained about their lot in life. Those aren't the people I want to hang out with. Small minds talk about other people, while large minds talk about ideas. I love the latter, and don't care so much about daily gossip or learning about who did what in the family and such.

Anyway, all of that to say that I feel your pain. I too hate groups and crowds. I've also realized that I have a lot of codependent control issues because of the way I grew up, not to mention the religious issues that I'm just now realizing at 37 years old really screwed up my ability to socialize. Theoretically the religion should have come with its own built in social construct, but sadly we've proven that we can disappear for years at a time and nobody would care enough to see if we were still alive. If I had a super power, it would be invisibility. Sometimes that's okay though, as I don't like the limelight.

I guess after writing this that my one piece of advice is to realize that life is a filmstrip, not a snapshot. So, just because things are one way now, that doesn't mean that they won't change. I've grown by leaps and bounds as a person over the past seven years since a big breakthrough in my life, and that has at least opened me up to challenging these things. I do believe that I'll get these social things ironed out to some degree with time, and you will too. It is just harder to learn those things later in life than it is to be taught them growing up where they can be part of the way you form your life.

Mike

You must otherwise you will go insane.

Join a meetup maybe there exist a blogger group in your area. grab your camera and join photographers meetup.. it isn't that hard as far as I know. I've been a freelancer and internet marketer for 8 years now and found a partner 3 years ago simply because I reach out.

Have you considered the French Foreign Legion ?

You'll make friends guaranteed

I'm not a legionnaire, and I don't play one on TV but I was at the Holiday Inn Express last night.

Some thoughts for OP:

Just go out there, I dunno... Go to a bar and get drunk and just randomly start talking to someone (just don't harass people, have a casual approach). Online you can also met a lot of friends, heck, even on this forum+they're online services that can be helpful.

And work on your confidence, that's the key. And don't be sad, if you feel lonely, it's just a feeling that can be altered, it's nothing final.

Call me weird, but I kinda prefer to be alone. People bore the c*** out of me.

Anyway, put your head up and move into action .

I have a Riffle. And I used to want friends, until I met him. Now, solitude is far more....um...sanitary.

Your post resonated with me because, as a young adult, I suffered from severe social anxiety and also from panic attacks. At one point, my panic attacks were so bad that I would get up in the middle of college class and dart out of the classroom. I had to get a note from my therapist in order for my professors to understand what was transpiring.

I'm writing to you today because there is definitely hope.

If you would have told me at age 19 (when the panic attacks begun) that ten years into the future that I would not only overcome my social anxiety and panic attacks, but also become a dating and lifestyle coach, I would have told you you were off your rocker. It took a lot of hard work, but I finally over came my own social anxiety.

For more than a decade I have worked with people with varying degrees of SA. I'm here to tell you that to some degree social anxiety is very normal. Virtually everyone experiences it to some degree at one point or another during their lives. I could write a very long book on just this one topic alone.

You've gotten some very good advice in this thread (and some humorous as well).

The first step to having a social life, with or without SA, is to know your outcome. What is it that you really want? If you want a social life and don't want to feel "lonely" anymore, then you have to make that a priority. You must learn to balance your online work / business with putting yourself out there. Some people here have given you some great advice on how to do that.

You say therapy didn't work for you, but my question to you is, did you work with a therapist that specialized in your condition? Did that specialist have knowledge in how to build a social life and overcome social anxiety? (I have found that many of them don't in my experience).

The second step to having a social life and not feeling lonely is you have to be willing to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Yes, I know, it's sounds very cliche, but it's true. You cannot grow as a person unless you push yourself.

There are two very different schools of thought here: some people believe in pushing you right into the fire, while the other school of thought is do it gradually. I don't think one approach is necessarily better than the other because it depends on the individual and how receptive they are to it.

But they key thing here is your social life isn't going to get better if you don't take responsibility and hide behind excuses such as "I work all the time". That's not going to cut it.

I'll use myself as an example. When I was 19 I became very introverted, which was bizarre because I was very social in high school. I became so shy and introverted that I couldn't even look a girl in the eye. I stuttered when I would talk to girls and I just couldn't get anywhere with the opposite sex.

So, following my therapist's advice. I began doing small things. For example, for a week I would try to hold a woman's gaze for 3 seconds. For the second week I would smile at one woman per day. For the 3rd week I would smile at 2 women per day. Yes, my anxiety was really bad and my therapist had me take baby steps.

Some of the best advice I can give you is this: you won't get better and your social life won't improve until you take 100% responsibility for your life.

No one is going to give you new friends.

No one is going to give you a girlfriend.

Nothing outside of yourself is going to give you lasting happiness.

No one is going to improve your social life except YOU.

You are the one that chooses to work on your PC all day. Don't make that a crutch. Don't use that as an excuse to not improve your social life. You can always learn how to be more productive so that you can do more things in less time.

You say you and your friend go out to bars sometimes. That's a start. What events or activities are there around where you live? Are there any Meetup.com groups in your area? If not, maybe you can start one. Look for events or social activities.

Your social skills are very much like a muscle. You need to practice. It will be awkward at first, but like my very first mentor once taught me when it came to approaching and talking to strangers, "The first 1,000 approaches don't even count."

It was a big paradigm shift for me, looking at my own social skills and development like a set of muscles that I had to develop. And it makes sense.

I strongly recommend going to http://rsdnation.com/ (RSDNation.com), signing up for a free account, and going through the forum there. Specifically, go into the success stories and spend some time there. You'll see guys in there that had varying degrees of SA overcome their own limitations by taking action and learning from one another.

There might even be a "lair" in your part of town or close to where you live where you might be able to meet other guys who are trying to better their social skills.

Now I want to make this point, too, because it's VERY important: having or not having a girlfriend or boyfriend has ZERO reflection on how valuable you are as a human being.

Some people in your situation feel like they're not valuable or have self-esteem issues because they don't have a girlfriend / boyfriend. And nothing could be further from the truth. Finding a mate will only cure loneliness in the short term. But loneliness and how you FEEL about yourself comes mostly from within.

Whoever made the post previously that feeling lonely has a lot to do with how you habitually talk yourself was on the money. You must learn to master your thoughts and pay VERY close attention to HOW you habitually talk yourself.

When I was 19 years old I had the worst, most negative self talk. I constantly called myself a "loser" and told myself "no woman would ever want me". I really believed I was destined to be "alone".

Today, being alone is not a bad thing and it does NOT equal loneliness.

I'll be honest with you, it took me a couple of years of hard work and pushing myself to overcome my SA and to get my social life to where I wanted it to be.

And right now, at this moment, it's on you to make this better. Take it slow if you have to, but my advice to you for the next 30 days is to NOT take it slow. Make it a point to GET out there and meet new people. Find others that have similar interests. I mean, do SOMETHING!

One of the BEST things I have found for social anxiety is to take dance classes that FORCE you to couple with another person. Think of salsa, swing, or tango.

There are two things that WILL elevate your mood:

1. Exercise
2. Food

You should exercise at least 4x a week, even if it's just walking for an hour. Regarding food, make sure you're eating lots of organic vegetables, fruits, legumes, etc. and stay away from processed food. I own a Vitamix and a Healthmaster and I make vegetable smoothies everyday.

If you can do this for one week straight, you will notice a big difference on how you feel. After 25 to 30 days, you will simply feel awesome and unstoppable. Doing exercise and eating the right foods gives you the best natural high ever, that it's difficult to put into words. It's just something you have to experience for yourself. But if I knew I could feel this good from just eating a ton of vegetables everyday, I would have done it a long time ago (yes, I still eat meat, but not as much as I used to).

So after you read this, make a concrete decision that you are going to improve your social life, no matter what. Write down some actions that you are going to take TODAY. Start off with one action today.

That's how I started and it's made all the difference in the world.

RoD

P.S. As a side note, I say these 3 things to myself every morning when I wake up and when I go to bed at night (I mix the order around sometimes too):

1. I thank my Maker for everything that I do have and for the life I have.

2. I am awesome.

3. I accept myself unconditionally as I am, right now. (But this doesn't mean you shouldn't improve yourself either).

They say a new habit is created after 39 days of repeating it, so try this mantra everyday for the next 39 days straight and see if it has an impact on you.

You need to go out sometimes. I dont think it would be hard to at least go out once a week.

Try to participate in more forums and there are many social networking website like Facebook and twitter, Try to use them you can get so many friends easy from there. Best of luck

People didn't realize how tough to have depression, anxiety and panic disorder. You should be in their shoes to understand them.

I also suffered with those conditions for 5 years, it will drained you physically and mentally.

Heck, I been imprisoned for gunning someone that ridiculed me for my condition, thanks to my lawyer I'm free.