Two hillbillies walk into...

5 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
  • |
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    MAN, it was funny, but a bit of an insult to Heimlich! Sorry Henry. 8-( May you see a 95th!

    Henry Heimlich - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9707749].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author positivenegative
    On the subject of hillbilly jokes . . .

    An 85-year-old hillbilly was asked by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the hillbilly a specimen jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

    The next day the hillbilly reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and as empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked him what happened and the hillbilly explained . . .

    "Well, doc, it's like this. First ah tried with ma right hand, but ain't nothing happened. Then ah tried with ma left hand, but still ain't nothing happened. Then ah asked ma wife fer help. She tried with her right hand, and then with her left, but still nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, but still nothing. We even called up Bobby Jo, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried a squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

    The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

    The hillbilly replied, "Yep, and none of us could git the darn jar open."
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9707783].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Steve, I thunk that it maybe might bring ole Thadious Tate out of hiding...
    (Not sure I spelled ole Thad's name right)...lol

    Either way, No insult to Henry was intended.
    I'm sure he would have gotten a good laugh out of it too unless he's seen/heard it before.

    Have a Great Day!
    Michael
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9707786].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Cali16
      Well, Michael, all I've got to say to that joke is "ewwwww" and "LOL"!

      (And I was wondering if you stole that from 'ol Thad...! At the very least, I'm sure he'd apprishitate it!)
      Signature
      If you don't face your fears, the only thing you'll ever see is what's in your comfort zone. ~Anne McClain, astronaut
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9707869].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Skystar
    I knew a married a bad cook when the neighborhood flies got together and bought her a screen door.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9708121].message }}

Trending Topics