The Best Gift I've Ever Received. By Claude "I Just Want To Be Loved" Whitacre

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Guys; You may not believe this, but when I'm not here..trading punches with a few like minded cohorts....I'm actually a businessman, trying to help other aspiring business people.

And today, in the Offline Marketing section...I read this.

Originally Posted by workharder View Post

You always give great advice, but that profile pic just creeps me out for some reason. I couldn't tell you why. Not to be offensive.... just something I had to get off my chest.
It made my day. And what makes it far more fun, is that this guy only sees me as the guy giving business advice. If Riffle would have said this, it would have fallen flat (and Riffle is far too skilled). But because it's from someone who isn't trading barbs with me, it tickles me. I think I'll print it out, and put it on my office wall.

Anyway, just sharing the joy.


http://www.warriorforum.com/offline-...ct-script.html
  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    So, are you going to spare us all and replace your avataarrgghh with a picture of a puppeh or kitteh?
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  • Profile picture of the author Rick Rodd
    yeah, for the benefit of everyone. Since it's the Holidays, care to indulge us to a better eye-pleasing avatar perhaps? Or a xmas hat... whichever you prefer
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  • Profile picture of the author Isabella
    Rick how could you make Claude cry. That's just....terrible. If he adds the Santa hat-- Oh...that makes it more creepy...nevermind.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by EasySimmons View Post

      Rick how could you make Claude cry. That's just....terrible. If he adds the Santa hat-- Oh...that makes it more creepy...nevermind.

      I could add the hat. Then I would be Santa Claude.
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      • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I could add the hat. Then I would be Santa Claude.
        And the mods would need a Sanity Clause.
















        Youngsters can Google Marx Brothers.
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        • Profile picture of the author Sully1975
          Well as long as your sig doesn't say, it rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again, you are okay in my book always.Why worry?

          Have you thought this was the real secret of your sales ability all along and perhaps a Lee Press On Facial Scar will bring more character?
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            [DELETED]
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      • Profile picture of the author MikeAmbrosio
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I could add the hat. Then I would be Santa Claude.
        How many times in your life have you heard THAT one...
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  • Profile picture of the author Isabella
    What have I done????
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

    If Riffle would have said this, it would have fallen flat
    I would never say something so ridiculous about you, Claude.

    To even think you give great advice is absurd.
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    • Profile picture of the author Cali16
      Claude, I'm so very glad that you put "by Claude" in the thread title. Otherwise we'd all be completely in the dark as to who started this thread...

      Brilliant, really...!
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

        Claude, I'm so very glad that you put "by Claude" in the thread title. Otherwise we'd all be completely in the dark as to who started this thread...

        Brilliant, really...!

        This isn't a joke. Until you just said it, I completely missed that the name of the OP was on the thread title.

        And that's why I usually put my name in the title.

        So.......Maybe "Brilliant" is overselling it....Just a Trifle
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        • Profile picture of the author Cali16
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          So.......Maybe "Brilliant" is overselling it....Just a Trifle
          Well, ya know, 'tis the season to be generous!

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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by Rick Rodd View Post

        yeah, for the benefit of everyone. Since it's the Holidays, care to indulge us to a better eye-pleasing avatar perhaps? Or a xmas hat... whichever you prefer
        Yes, l did do a Santa hat for Claude, but haven't received the $5000 in sequential, unmarked bills, stuffed under the toilet door at the Crown casino!


        Shane
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          Yes, l did do a Santa hat for Claude, but haven't received the $5000 in sequential, unmarked bills, stuffed under the toilet door at the Crown casino!


          Shane
          Shane; And I want you to know that I appreciate the effort in creating the hat.

          And I did give the suitcase full of unmarked bills to a guy in the men's room, at the Crown Casino.

          I thought he said "I'm Shane". Now that I think about it, it was probably "I'm Ashamed".


          I better not say why.
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          • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            And I did give the suitcase full of unmarked bills to a guy in the men's room, at the Crown Casino.

            I thought he said "I'm Shane". Now that I think about it, it was probably "I'm Ashamed".
            I actually said "I'm grateful".

            Oopsies. I meant HE actually said...
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

        Claude, I'm so very glad that you put "by Claude" in the thread title. Otherwise we'd all be completely in the dark as to who started this thread...

        Brilliant, really...!
        That's his way of marking his territory. So many monitors were ruined before he hit upon the idea of typing his name.
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        • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
          Originally Posted by Cali16 View Post

          Well, ya know, 'tis the season to be generous!

          Don't worry l will be generous! Marrrrrrrhhhhh!


          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

          That's his way of marking his territory. So many monitors were ruined before he hit upon the idea of typing his name.
          Don't give me ideas!

          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

          I actually said "I'm grateful".

          Oopsies. I meant HE actually said...
          Best to stay out of the gun range Whateverpedia, too many stray bullets!


          Shane :0(
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    The things people say out of jealously when seeing the countence of a male Adonis for our times... As you know, they're suffering from extreme hunk-envy, Claude, but you're used to that.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      The things people say out of jealously when seeing the countence of a male Adonis for our times... As you know, they're suffering from extreme chunk-envy, Claude, but you're used to that.
      Typo fixed.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      The things people say out of jealously when seeing the countence of a male Adonis for our times... As you know, they're suffering from extreme hunk-envy, Claude, but you're used to that.
      I am twice the Adonis that Riffle is. Assuming he weighs 136 pounds.


      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      I actually said "I'm grateful".

      Oopsies. I meant HE actually said...
      Trust me, never in my life...have I heard, after um...you know... the words "I'm grateful"...

      Unless there was an echo.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post


        Trust me, never in my life...have I heard, after um...you know... the words "I'm grateful"...

        Unless there was an echo.
        Let's be honest...you've never even given yourself reason to say that.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          Let's be honest...you've never even given yourself reason to say that.


          Dan...to you..... I'm grateful.
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          • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            Dan...to you..... I'm grateful.
            Echo Echo Echo
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          • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            Dan...to you..... I'm grateful.
            Should have been, Dan, to you.... I'm grating
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

              Should have been, Dan, to you.... I'm Great
              Fixed it for you.
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            • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
              Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

              Should have been, Dan, thanks to you.... I'm greying
              Fixed it for all of you.
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              • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

                Fixed it for all of you.
                You need hair in order to go gray, biz.
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                • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
                  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                  You need hair in order to go gray, biz.
                  We know.



                  Just no alliteration.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                    Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

                    We know.



                    Just no alliteration.

                    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the room with Riffle."

                    And...I fixed that for you too.
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                    • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
                      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                      "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the room with Riffle."

                      And...I fixed that for you too.
                      Our Riffle, or the popular one?
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                      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                        Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

                        Our Riffle, or the popular one?

                        You know.....the one that is well liked, friendly, generous, caring, good looking, and is a pillar in the community? The other one.


                        Riffle is our Silver Medal.
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