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The Elf On The Shelf Is Preparing Your Child To Live In A Future Police State...

by Mark Hess
42 replies
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It's too late for my daughters, they've already been exposed to this elf and his brainwashing:

The Elf on the Shelf is preparing your child to live in a future police state, professor warns - The Washington Post
  • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
    Never heard of it.


    Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    First I've heard of it, but after reading the article ... I wouldn't buy one or the book.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    The SICK thing is that HOWEVER innocent, this can be EVIL!!!!!!! In a way, intended or not, the myth of santa is one of magic to basically encourage all to be on their best behavior at ALL times. It is SEPARATE from spies, technology, position, etc... How can you really exploit it?

    HERE, they FOUND a way to exploit it! TWEAK the myth to allow for an alleged team of spies, that CAN use technology, and HAVE A POSITION! This can amount to, intentionally or unintentionally, CHILD PORN, SPYING, and unconstitutional acts.

    Laugh if you want, but IT HAS PRECEDENT!!!!!!!! OH? You don't believe me? Suit yourself, but here is only ONE example! I could maybe find tens or hundreds of thousands if I looked hard enough, but here is ONE to whet your appetite! Robbins v. Lower Merion School District - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    That happened in philidelphia about 4 years ago!

    So WHO is to say that these elves aren't the same way, or may be? Using current technology, they could conceivably have them run for a long period. If they haven't already, they might find a reason for a plug or batteries. AGAIN, it has precedent.

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Oh holy CRAP! I'm sorry. Conspiracy aside -- I hate dolls. I mean HATE them. If someone had handed that to me when I was small and told me it was going to watch everything I did - I'd probably have ended up in a mental institution for sticking it in the oven or fireplace and trying to kill it.

    Even if this country was the sweet little basin of paradise freedom that a few cud chewers still believe it to be -- that is one sick and twisted little gadget. I just can't imagine any kid not just screaming and running from their house if they saw that thing there. They couldn't put enough fluoride in the water for me to be okay with having that thing in my house - even as an adult. I hope kids rebel and wage war on it. They can take chatty Kathy down with it.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Oh holy CRAP! I'm sorry. Conspiracy aside -- I hate dolls. I mean HATE them. If someone had handed that to me when I was small and told me it was going to watch everything I did - I'd probably have ended up in a mental institution for sticking it in the oven or fireplace and trying to kill it.

      Even if this country was the sweet little basin of paradise freedom that a few cud chewers still believe it to be -- that is one sick and twisted little gadget. I just can't imagine any kid not just screaming and running from their house if they saw that thing there. They couldn't put enough fluoride in the water for me to be okay with having that thing in my house - even as an adult. I hope kids rebel and wage war on it. They can take chatty Kathy down with it.
      They tell the kids that if they so much as TOUCH this "elf", that the magic will be gone and they won't get anything from santa! So the kids can't really examine it, and must be on their best behavior. If the doll IS, or becomes, a spy device, this is a GREAT gimic to get it in! Computer programs have an analog, called a TROJAN, after the Trojan horse. The PARENTS want it there to get their kids to behave, and the KIDS want it to get gifts from santa. AND, today, it is SIMPLE to make it a spying device, just like they did with all those computers.

      Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

        They tell the kids that if they so much as TOUCH this "elf", that the magic will be gone and they won't get anything from santa! So the kids can't really examine it, and must be on their best behavior. If the doll IS, or becomes, a spy device, this is a GREAT gimic to get it in! Computer programs have an analog, called a TROJAN, after the Trojan horse. The PARENTS want it there to get their kids to behave, and the KIDS want it to get gifts from santa. AND, today, it is SIMPLE to make it a spying device, just like they did with all those computers.

        Steve
        I realize what it is. First off - who's raising kids stupid enough to believe that crap now days? I can't imagine that story flying with anyone I went to school with. Of course we weren't soaked in fluoride, mercury, and glysophate back then, either. If you would have put that in my house - it would have "disappeared". Trust me on that one.

        It wouldn't have been the first doll I got as a gift to disappear and it wouldn't have been the first time I lied to Santa. I'm sure he knew damned well I'd been a brat most of the year.
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        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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        • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
          Banned
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          If you would have put that in my house - it would have "disappeared". Trust me on that one.

          It wouldn't have been the first doll I got as a gift to disappear and it wouldn't have been the first time I lied to Santa. I'm sure he knew damned well I'd been a brat most of the year.
          Well, I loved dolls, and never brutalized a doll before, but that one would have met with an untimely and brutal death if I had one .... but really Sal, lying to Santa? What were you thinking? That's something that I would never do.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    I thought this was going to be yet another Mensch On A Bench thread:
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      I thought this was going to be yet another Mensch On A Bench thread:
      MAN! The SAME sort of thing! SAME story, tweaked for hanukah!

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    lol mensch on a bensch.

    At least Mensch on a bensch is good.

    Might make more fighters for Israel, pound for pound the best army in the world.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by socialentry View Post

      lol mensch on a bensch.

      At least Mensch on a bensch is good.

      Might make more fighters for Israel, pound for pound the best army in the world.
      HOW do you figure? Did you read the RULES?

      Mensch Rules |

      The ONLY rule missing is that the kids must not touch them!

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    they once thought that DOOM was part of a conspiracy for satanists. Hogwash, I say.
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    • Profile picture of the author AprilCT
      I had no idea what Elf on the Shelf was, so thanks for the information. I don't like it, especially indoctrinating kids that they are being watched and it's apparently quite okay with the parents. It's just plain creepy and wrong.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by socialentry View Post

      they once thought that DOOM was part of a conspiracy for satanists. Hogwash, I say.
      WHO KNOWS? One thing is for sure. THIS provides an EXCELLENT vehicle for spying. I don't know enough about doom, but some people apparently need only a tap to go NUTS! Remember those girls with the slim man?

      Slender man stabbing: Wisconsin girls try to murder their friend to appease an Internet myth.

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    Duke Nukem is a much better rolemodel. He can benchpress 400 lbs.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    What's the difference between an "elf on the shelf" constantly watching kids and the "angry old man that lives in the sky who sees everything you do" that is told to kids to keep them docile.

    At least the elf on the shelf won't send naughty kids to hell for eternity, and the elf's representatives won't molest them.
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    • Profile picture of the author Midnight Oil
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      What's the difference between an "elf on the shelf" constantly watching kids and the "angry old man that lives in the sky who sees everything you do" that is told to kids to keep them docile.

      At least the elf on the shelf won't send naughty kids to hell for eternity, and the elf's representatives won't molest them.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      What's the difference between an "elf on the shelf" constantly watching kids and the "angry old man that lives in the sky who sees everything you do" that is told to kids to keep them docile.

      At least the elf on the shelf won't send naughty kids to hell for eternity, and the elf's representatives won't molest them.

      Never heard of him.


      Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      What's the difference between an "elf on the shelf" constantly watching kids and the "angry old man that lives in the sky who sees everything you do" that is told to kids to keep them docile.

      At least the elf on the shelf won't send naughty kids to hell for eternity, and the elf's representatives won't molest them.
      The "angry old man" is supposed to be a "just god", but STILL....

      There is a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY BIG difference! HOW? It provides a LOCATION, and a MEDIUM! If the idea of a god were a 100% myth, etc... It could convince some people to do bad, etc... Though THAT is often done through an ISOLATED vector! It may be done through some clergy of some point. 99% of the time, they have NO eyes on you in private, and often few eyes on you AT ALL! If you dislike THAT, then you should CERTAINLY hate the idea of "teachers" that do FAR more along those lines.

      The problem HERE is that they have a DOLL that may have ANYTHING in it! It could have poison, a bomb, cameras, etc.... Many in government consider THEMSELVES to be gods, so maybe THIS myth has a lot of truth in it from their vantage point?

      A thousand years ago? Some weird scifi that would never happen. A hundred years ago? Impossible! DECADES ago, what I am talking about seemed unlikely. TODAY? HEY, just another application of WHAT IS ALREADY DONE!

      The NAZIs sent KIDS home programmed to do this! NOW, they build a little doll that may do the same.

      FURTHER, the bible does NOT say to be celibate (Read 1 timothy in the FULL cannon)! ALSO, if true, ignoring wouldn't make you better off. Still, it WOULD be nice if most people were decent.

      Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author Mark Hess
        Originally Posted by seasoned View Post


        The NAZIs sent KIDS home programmed to do this! NOW, they build a little doll that may do the same.
        Wondering how long it would take until we hit Godwin's law...
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        • Profile picture of the author seasoned
          Originally Posted by Mark Hess View Post

          Wondering how long it would take until we hit Godwin's law...
          FUNNY! I said it because it was TRUE!

          Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      What's the difference between an "elf on the shelf" constantly watching kids and the "angry old man that lives in the sky who sees everything you do" that is told to kids to keep them docile.

      At least the elf on the shelf won't send naughty kids to hell for eternity, and the elf's representatives won't molest them.

      Yes, Santa Clause can be very frightening to children. Rewarding those who are nice...punishing those who are naughty (hear that Riffle!?) Keeping a list......

      Santa Clause.
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      What's the difference between an "elf on the shelf" constantly watching kids and the "angry old man that lives in the sky who sees everything you do" that is told to kids to keep them docile.

      At least the elf on the shelf won't send naughty kids to hell for eternity, and the elf's representatives won't molest them.
      Not to mention Santa Claus. Doesn't he watch every child and make a list of who was naughty or nice?
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      • Profile picture of the author Midnight Oil
        Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

        Not to mention Santa Claus. Doesn't he watch every child and make a list of who was naughty or nice?
        In a head-to-head contest, people prefer Belsnickel over Santa every time.


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        • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
          Originally Posted by Midnight Oil View Post

          In a head-to-head contest, people prefer Belsnickel over Santa every time.

          I'm more of a Krampus guy myself.
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          Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    So what ominous message does Dr. Seuss's book, "There's A Wocket In My Pocket" deliver? Accept that there will be strange alien bugs (as in electronic spy devices) occupying your home? How about "The Cat In The Hat"? Be cooperative with invasive authority figures turning your house upside down and everything will be fine? Also, did you notice that it is seems to be a single mother family? A warning to non-traditional households? What terrible message does Goldilocks deliver? Young girl, alone, wandering in the forest, home invasion, theft? A warning about the life of crime that lies ahead for independent-minded young women?

    (look at my signature if you think I'm serious)
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    You have to watch out for EotS. He's not exactly a good role model:

    Eh, possibly NSFW:

    Inappropriate, Naughty Elf-on-the-Shelf Pics
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    Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    If brainwashing doesn't sound fun you could always go elf yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Instragram is flooded with pictures from the Elf on the Shelf that takes pictures of himself.
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      Instragram is flooded with pictures from the Elf on the Shelf that takes pictures of himself.
      So that would be an Elfie Shelfie Selfie.
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      Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
      So that blind people can hate them as well.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

        You have to watch out for EotS. He's not exactly a good role model:

        Eh, possibly NSFW:

        Inappropriate, Naughty Elf-on-the-Shelf Pics
        Those pictures cannot offend me.
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      • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
        Banned
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        So that would be an Elfie Shelfie Selfie.
        Due to the style of observation I believe that would be a stealthy elfie shelfie selfie.

        Well, it does rhyme. :-)

        Cheers. - Frank
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

          Due to the style of observation I believe that would be a stealthy elfie shelfie selfie.

          Well, it does rhyme. :-)

          Cheers. - Frank

          Frank; It rhymes...but not in French.

          I've always wondered how songs sounded in other languages, when the words didn't rhyme anymore.

          First World Concerns.
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          • Profile picture of the author socialentry
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            Frank; It rhymes...but not in French.

            I've always wondered how songs sounded in other languages, when the words didn't rhyme anymore.

            First World Concerns.
            Cachotterie Elfy Selfie.
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          • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            Frank; It rhymes...but not in French.

            I've always wondered how songs sounded in other languages, when the words didn't rhyme anymore.

            First World Concerns.
            Youtube, amigo, youtube. You'll find lots of gems there, and some of it is weirdly disturbing. But sometimes it can turn garbage into something that is almost listenable.
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            • Profile picture of the author seasoned
              Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

              Youtube, amigo, youtube. You'll find lots of gems there, and some of it is weirdly disturbing. But sometimes it can turn garbage into something that is almost listenable. Rebecca Black - Friday (Chinese version) - YouTube
              OK, I DON'T know Chinese, but I kind of like him. I thought he did well.

              Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Doran Peck
    Boy...I love dipping my fingers into a good conspiracy...but this is just beyond stupid.

    No one was hollering "Preparing us for a police state" 10 years ago when Santa Clause himself has had the ability to peep on us all year long....or even 25 years ago when Santa still had the same ability....or even the year prior to the invention of the Elf on a Shelf....when Santa...that's right....had the same ability.

    This is a classic case of "reading too much into it"

    Elf on the shelf is fun...and it keeps child like magic alive....and frankly does a better job of it than santa clause.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Doran Peck View Post

      Boy...I love dipping my fingers into a good conspiracy...but this is just beyond stupid.

      No one was hollering "Preparing us for a police state" 10 years ago when Santa Clause himself has had the ability to peep on us all year long....or even 25 years ago when Santa still had the same ability....or even the year prior to the invention of the Elf on a Shelf....when Santa...that's right....had the same ability.

      This is a classic case of "reading too much into it"

      Elf on the shelf is fun...and it keeps child like magic alive....and frankly does a better job of it than santa clause.
      You have to look at history, or think like a thief. TAKE YOUR PICK! NOBODY thought that free computers from a school would be tied to child porn, but they HAVE! MOST computers today have a camera. SUPPOSEDLY, to track down thieves, they have a trojan to remotely turn on the camera. Many kids keep the computers in their bedroom. At least one girl was horrified when she found out and said she undressed in front of it. And they HAVE found that people were watching.

      Nanny cams, ATM machines, etc... have ALL seen stuff they weren't intended for. At least THEY aren't generally in bedrooms(it isn't like an infant is too likely to do anything unusual). And USUALLY only the known owners see it.

      As for santa? Nobody ever said he was a peeping tom. He has become something akin to a god. LATELY, I heard no less than 2 places saying that it is an analog for Jesus. GOD is ALSO said to know everything. But if they are real, WHO CARES? It isn't like they are going to try to embarass you! And if they AREN'T real, there is simply no problem here. So to equate a doll, motives, and technology, that we KNOW exist with santa, who doesn't, is just silly. And NO I am NOT saying the doll does ANY of this, though it MIGHT, but that it COULD, and there has been precedent.

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Floyd Fisher
    After reading this thread, I've decided it's high time for a fairy tale book burning, for great justice.

    Who's with me?
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Floyd Fisher View Post

      After reading this thread, I've decided it's high time for a fairy tale book burning, for great justice.

      Who's with me?
      The fairy tale books aren't the dangerous books. The dangerous books are the science books...and books on how to think rationally. Those are the threatening books.

      Fairy tale books have already been accepted by our people as fact.
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        Buzz to the rescue...



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