[Humor] - My Wife is Missing

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A husband went to the sheriff's department to report
that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping
yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Never noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don't remember exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?

Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4
with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special
ordered with manual transmission.

It has a custom matching white cover for the bed.

Custom leather seats and "Bubba" floor mats.

Trailering package with gold hitch.
DVD with navigation,

40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets.

Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins.

Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.
At this point the husband started choking up.

Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.

Joe Mobley
  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Joe;

    Please don't do that. Honestly, I thought you were going to say that your wife was actually missing.

    Added later; Joe; thanks for changing the title.
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Joe;

      Please don't do that. Honestly, I thought you were going to say that your wife was actually missing.
      Yeah, I agree this made my heart Rate go up about 20 beats
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        I didn't even know Joe was married...


        Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
          Hey, sorry about that. Looking at the title again, I can see where you might think that.

          And to Terra's point...

          "Joe, do you have any children?" Not that I know of.

          "Joe, are you married?" Not that I know of.

          (Note: There have been a few periods in my life that I can not account for, so, anything is possible.)


          Joe Mobley
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          • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
            Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

            <snip>

            (Note: There have been a few periods in my life that I can not account for, so, anything is possible.)


            Joe Mobley
            Do you ever have dreams in an extraterrestrial language that you're inexplicably fluent in?
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            • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
              Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

              Do you ever have dreams in an extraterrestrial language that you're inexplicably fluent in?
              No, mine are pretty much terrestrial.

              I did have a dream once, that I fell off the bed. No worries though, the floor woke me up.

              Joe Mobley
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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Joe;

      ...

      Added later; Joe; thanks for changing the title.
      Thank you (ya'll ) for pointing it out.

      Joe Mobley
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Joe;

      Please don't do that. Honestly, I thought you were going to say that your wife was actually missing.
      So you can feel empathy after all?
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    I didn't know Joe had a truck.
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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
      Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

      I didn't know Joe had a truck.
      Hey, guys are sexier in trucks.


      You know you want a truck!

      Wife optional.

      Joe Mobley
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      • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
        Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

        Hey, guys are sexier in trucks.

        2015 Super Bowl Commercial / chevy colorado You Know You want a Truck! - YouTube

        You know you want a truck!

        Wife optional.

        Joe Mobley
        Maybe you are referring to this, but there is a recent study about how women do perceive men who drive trucks as sexier, as earning more. It think it said especially newer, black Ford trucks.

        (Which is contrary to my experience. Many male drivers of full size, black trucks seem to be asses, road ragers, and tailgaters. I was a courier for more moons than I care to recall. And, many think they are doing well financially because they can make the payment on their big shiny, new truck, and it is their only financial asset. An asset that goes down in value while draining their funds.)
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        • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
          Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

          Maybe you are referring to this, but there is a recent study about how women do perceive men who drive trucks as sexier, as earning more. It think it said especially newer, black Ford trucks.

          (Which is contrary to my experience. Many male drivers of full size, black trucks seem to be asses, road ragers, and tailgaters. I was a courier for more moons than I care to recall. And, many think they are doing well financially because they can make the payment on their big shiny, new truck, and it is their only financial asset. An asset that goes down in value while draining their funds.)

          lol, I am one of those women who doesn't perceive men sexier because of the vehicles they drive - for me, it's all about the eyes - that gets my attention - and what keeps my attention is that they can have an intelligent conversation with me and treat me as their equal - I like to be mentally stimulated before I'm physically stimulated
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          • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
            Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

            lol, I am one of those women who doesn't perceive men sexier because of the vehicles they drive - for me, it's all about the eyes - that gets my attention - and what keeps my attention is that they can have an intelligent conversation with me and treat me as their equal - I like to be mentally stimulated before I'm physically stimulated
            I, too, am a sapiosexual.

            Have to wonder about some of those studies.

            Dan
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          • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
            Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

            lol, I am one of those women who doesn't perceive men sexier because of the vehicles they drive - for me, it's all about the eyes - that gets my attention - and what keeps my attention is that they can have an intelligent conversation with me and treat me as their equal - I like to be mentally stimulated before I'm physically stimulated
            Claude's like that, he always does the crossword before pleasuring himself.
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          • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
            Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

            I am one of those women who doesn't perceive men sexier because of the vehicles they drive - for me, it's all about the eyes - that gets my attention - and what keeps my attention is that they can have an intelligent conversation with me and treat me as their equal - I like to be mentally stimulated before I'm physically stimulated
            Isn't that what Miss November said in her bio?

            Next to the pic of her in the back of the pickup truck.


            Joe Mobley
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Glad you put the qualifier in the subject. I clicked earlier thinking it was a real emergency situation. Didn't say anything because I heard the joke before and wasn't entertained. I give it a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.

    Maybe this one is better, maybe not - but it made me laugh:

    A wealthy older gentleman was out driving his new sports car one day and decided to test it out for speed. His speedometer was hitting 100 when he saw the flashing state trooper's police car lights flashing behind him. He sped up thinking he could outrun the cop, but realizing it wasn't going to happen, he slowed and pulled off the road.

    When the cop got to his window he saw the harmless older man and told the gentleman, "Sir, it's been a long day and I'm tired. I only have 30 minutes left on this shift and just want to go home and relax. If you can give me a good reason for trying to get away from me, I'll let you go."

    "Well, son" the man reported, "My wife ran off with a state trooper a few years back. When I saw your lights behind me, I panicked. I thought you were trying to bring her back."

    "Have a good day, sir," the cop replied as he turned to go back to his car.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Didn't say anything because I heard the joke before and wasn't entertained. I give it a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.
      Well thank you for saying something now.


      Joe Mobley
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Yeah - sorry. It gets like that when you're multi-tasking sometimes.
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    Sal
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    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author anynewsbd
    I think Is that was joke.
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