Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

onSubie

9 years ago

Amateurs

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TheWriteOne 9 years ago

How can an 85 year old man still get it up?

Originally Posted by onSubie

Amateurs

Maybe you write an e-book on how to use it.

I knew this would happen because of the movie, the book had this effects too. Only scaled higher with the movie release. Should have shown on the credits of the movie the proper use of the toys.
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- positivenegative 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by TheWriteOne
  
  How can an 85 year old man still get it up?
  
  Someone else does it for him. Pay attention!
  
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  TheWriteOne 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by positivenegative
  
  Someone else does it for him. Pay attention!
  
  Well good luck to that someone!
  
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  tagiscom 9 years ago
  
  Maybe they should rename it "Fifty Shades of Red"?
  
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sbucciarel

Banned 9 years ago

... also said sex toy shops are stocking up on whips, spanking paddles, blindfolds, vibrators and pleasure balls (whatever that is!) before the movie was released.

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Re: Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

Someone just has to say it. Rockets are not sex toys. I can see why there are so many injuries.

When a sentence starts, "I was sticking the rocket up my....."....it doesn't end well.

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Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Re: Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

Someone just has to say it. Rockets are not sex toys. I can see why there are so many injuries.

When a sentence starts, "I was sticking the rocket up my....."....it doesn't end well.

If you believe this, then, by no means, should you Google "pocket rocket".

DISCLAIMER: I may post jokes in this thread. It is my assumption that the OP did not expect serious discussion about sex toy injuries. I apologize for my indiscretion if my assumption is incorrect.

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discrat

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Re: Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

Someone just has to say it. Rockets are not sex toys. I can see why there are so many injuries.

When a sentence starts, "I was sticking the rocket up my....."....it doesn't end well.

A Pocket Rocket sure is

( EDIT : I see where Dan beat me to it. But I remain steadfast in that I thought of it before him

)

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MissTerraK 9 years ago

Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

This is exactly why I stick with, "There ain't nothin' like the real thing, Baby!"

I don't go for faux.

Terra
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- Dan Riffle 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MissTerraK
  
  This is exactly why I stick with, "There ain't nothin' like the real thing, Baby!"
  
  I don't go for faux.
  
  Terra
  
  Claude, whatever you do, don't take the bait.
  
  Admiral Ackbar - "It's A Trap!" -...
  
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  MissTerraK 9 years ago
  
  LOL, Dan!
  
  What is it with some of the guys here thinking I'm trying to trap or bait them?
  
  I'm not. Seriously.
  
  Terra
  
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  Dan Riffle 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MissTerraK
  
  LOL, Dan!
  
  What is it with some of the guys here thinking I'm trying to trap or bait them?
  
  I'm not. Seriously.
  
  Terra
  
  Well, it was really just a reason to show Admiral Ackbar some love. (And, surprisingly, that's not meant as a euphemism for anything.)
  
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  MissTerraK 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Well, it was really just a reason to show Admiral Ackbar some love. (And, surprisingly, that's not meant as a euphemism for anything.)
  
  Alrighty, then.
  
  Terra
  
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- Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MissTerraK
  
  This is exactly why I stick with, "There ain't nothin' like the real thing, Baby!"
  
  I don't go for faux.
  
  Terra
  
  I agree. Three of them is enough.
  
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  MissTerraK 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I agree. Three of them is enough.
  
  OMGosh, Claude!
  
  That was hilarious! I'm still laughing, Hahaha!
  
  Actually, that was comedic brilliance right there!
  
  Terra
  
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seasoned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by discrat

A Pocket Rocket sure is
( EDIT : I see where Dan beat me to it. But I remain steadfast in that I thought of it before him )

Still, some people would figure a rocket would be better. I wonder if they asked estes for a pocket rocket. HOW would you even use a rocket?

Steve
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thunderbird

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Re: Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

Someone just has to say it. Rockets are not sex toys. I can see why there are so many injuries.
L

Thanks. Just saved me 1.5 billion dollars.

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DWaters

9 years ago

Toys are dangerous......Bill Cosby is a serial rapist........a decathlon gold medialist is turning himself into a woman ........... what is this world coming too?

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Dan Riffle

9 years ago

Originally Posted by DWaters

Toys are dangerous......Bill Cosby is a serial rapist........a decathlon gold medialist is turning himself into a woman ........... what is this world coming too?

...The end?

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Michael75065

9 years ago

Originally Posted by DWaters

Toys are dangerous......Bill Cosby is a serial rapist........a decathlon gold medialist is turning himself into a woman ........... what is this world coming too?

hahahahahahahaha to funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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travlinguy

9 years ago

This qualifies as a sex toy injury, I think...

Back in 1980 I was in the Navy. As a medic I had ER duty one evening. I was taking my turn at the desk when a young guy comes in looking really nervous and walking funny. He approaches me and looks all around. Then he whispers, "I've got a sweet potato in my ass."

There was a lot going on and I though I misunderstood him so I asked him to repeat and he said it again a little louder. I was tempted to laugh but thought that would only make matters worse so I took out an admission form and started asking questions.

When I asked him how the sweet potato found its way into his lower colon he asked why it mattered. I insisted the surgeon would want to know. He shuddered at the word surgeon and then said he was getting ready to peel that tuber when it fell on the floor. He went after it and fell right on top of the thing and WHAMMO! The tater disappeared into the south end of his alimentary canal.

I should have let it go at that but couldn't help myself and said, "So you were peeling potatoes with no pants on?" He started to tear up so signaled to a doctor that just got free and pointed to an exam room. Then I took him into the room and got him ready for surgery.

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seasoned

9 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

This qualifies as a sex toy injury, I think...

Back in 1980 I was in the Navy. As a medic I had ER duty one evening. I was taking my turn at the desk when a young guy comes in looking really nervous and walking funny. He approaches me and looks all around. Then he whispers, "I've got a sweet potato in my ass."

There was a lot going on and I though I misunderstood him so I asked him to repeat and he said it again a little louder. I was tempted to laugh but thought that would only make matters worse so I took out an admission form and started asking questions.

When I asked him how the sweet potato found its way into his lower colon he asked why it mattered. I insisted the surgeon would want to know. He shuddered at the word surgeon and then said he was getting ready to peel that tuber when it fell on the floor. He went after it and fell right on top of the thing and WHAMMO! The tater disappeared into the south end of his alimentary canal.

I should have let it go at that but couldn't help myself and said, "So you were peeling potatoes with no pants on?" He started to tear up so signaled to a doctor that just got free and pointed to an exam room. Then I took him into the room and got him ready for surgery.

SURGERY for THAT? You would think you could take like a corkscrew, grab hold, and reverse! Of course, it is STILL something someone ELSE would have to handle.

And why a sweet potato? Just curious! Aren't normal potatoes more common?

Steve

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Kurt

9 years ago

Originally Posted by travlinguy

This qualifies as a sex toy injury, I think...

Back in 1980 I was in the Navy. As a medic I had ER duty one evening. I was taking my turn at the desk when a young guy comes in looking really nervous and walking funny. He approaches me and looks all around. Then he whispers, "I've got a sweet potato in my ass."

There was a lot going on and I though I misunderstood him so I asked him to repeat and he said it again a little louder. I was tempted to laugh but thought that would only make matters worse so I took out an admission form and started asking questions.

When I asked him how the sweet potato found its way into his lower colon he asked why it mattered. I insisted the surgeon would want to know. He shuddered at the word surgeon and then said he was getting ready to peel that tuber when it fell on the floor. He went after it and fell right on top of the thing and WHAMMO! The tater disappeared into the south end of his alimentary canal.

I should have let it go at that but couldn't help myself and said, "So you were peeling potatoes with no pants on?" He started to tear up so signaled to a doctor that just got free and pointed to an exam room. Then I took him into the room and got him ready for surgery.

And this was the beginning of Popeye, who coincidently was also in the Navy, saying "I yam what I yam". It's also why Popeye later became so fond of spinach.

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Claude Whitacre 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

And this was the beginning of Popeye, who coincidently was also in the Navy, saying "I yam what I yam". It's also why Popeye later became so fond of spinach.

Don't you mean Sweetpea?
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Joe Mobley 9 years ago

I think I'm emotionally scarred for life.

I may never order sweet potato fries again.

Sir, we have a sweet potato with butter and cinnamon today.

...

"You know what, I think I'm gonna go with the rice pilaf."

Joe Mobley

Originally Posted by travlinguy

This qualifies as a sex toy injury, I think...
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- tagiscom 9 years ago
  
  Toys are dangerous......Bill Cosby is a serial rapist........a decathlon gold medialist is turning himself into a woman ........... what is this world coming too?
  
  And dogs and cat's are living together!
  
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seasoned

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Joe Mobley

Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey - Telegraph

Joe Mobley

It's funny. When I first heard about 50 shdes of grey, I figured the title alluded to shades of morality, since the article I read spoke of the genre of the book. A parody commercial in the US now implies that Grey refers to the name of a guy in the book. I wonder which it is. I never saw a reason to even investigate.

Steve

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

It's funny. When I first heard about 50 shdes of grey, I figured the title alluded to shades of morality, since the article I read spoke of the genre of the book. A parody commercial in the US now implies that Grey refers to the name of a guy in the book. I wonder which it is. I never saw a reason to even investigate.

Steve

It's the name of the guy in the book and movie.

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bizgrower

9 years ago

And then:

Your kid's doll can be hacked to say some naughty...

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HeySal

9 years ago

Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

I'm sorry, but I find this extremely disgusting. If you can't handle your sex toys without injuring them, then you should not own them.

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Sex toy injuries rocket after release of Fifty Shades of Grey

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