Best pick up line you've used or been used on you?

by WalkingCarpet Banned
158 replies
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Need a good pick up line kids.
  • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
    Have a ball, Baby...

    pick up lines


    Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
      Banned
      Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

      Have a ball, Baby...

      pick up lines


      Terra
      Which one do you best respond to??
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

        Which one do you best respond to??
        Depends on which response you're talking about.

        If you meant which work at picking me up, then the answer is none of them.

        If you meant with any response, then the answer is all of them with this


        Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
          Banned
          Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

          Depends on which response you're talking about.

          If you meant which work at picking me up, then the answer is none of them.

          If you meant with any response, then the answer is all of them with this


          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
            Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post


            I mean if a guy tries to use a pick up line on me, I just roll my eyes at him and walk away.


            Terra
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            • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
              Banned
              Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

              I mean if a guy tries to use a pick up line on me, I just roll my eyes at him and walk away.


              Terra
              Cos ur taken.
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    Banned
    hello .
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  • Profile picture of the author NRabosa
    I'm more interested in comebacks, pickup lines don't have a high success rate. It's what appeases (and apparently teases) the girl.
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  • Profile picture of the author LGCalab
    Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

    Need a good pick up line kids.

    Does this smell like Ether?
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  • Profile picture of the author butters
    How you meeting these women, if you search tinder pick up line and say some of them to pick up a girl in a club your be my hero
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      It fascinates me that there are still grown men that think that if you say the right "Pick up line", that a woman will say, "You are so clever. Let's have sex".

      Why not just talk to a woman like a person, that you want to talk to. Amazingly, that works.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        It fascinates me that there are still grown men that think that if you say the right "Pick up line", that a woman will say, "You are so clever. Let's have sex".

        Why not just talk to a woman like a person, that you want to talk to. Amazingly, that works.
        No, all women are goddesses, and should be put on a high pedestal, and worshiped.

        The best pickup line that I thought was aimed at me from a woman was: "I do a lot of work for charity"
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        If you find her attractive then most of the time she will sense it!

        And if you can pick up if someone is interested in you then you are half way there!


        Finding someone with common interests, who is interested is next to impossible, but there is always a chance.


        What to say, beats me, hopefully, something related to your common interests?


        But apart from that buy yourself a puppy and walk it often, tends to attract women, (well, to your puppy at least)!

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      • Profile picture of the author MeelisM
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        It fascinates me that there are still grown men that think that if you say the right "Pick up line", that a woman will say, "You are so clever. Let's have sex".

        Why not just talk to a woman like a person, that you want to talk to. Amazingly, that works.
        Word

        Just be a person
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        • Profile picture of the author ThomM
          I had a pretty obscene one (that never worked) but was good for a laugh, or slap in the face. Funny thing was single women would slap me, married women would look around, laugh and say they couldn't because their husband was with them.
          One time I walked up to a girl in a bar and gently bit her nose. We stayed together for almost a year.
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

            I had a pretty obscene one (that never worked) but was good for a laugh, or slap in the face. Funny thing was single women would slap me, married women would look around, laugh and say they couldn't because their husband was with them.
            One time I walked up to a girl in a bar and gently bit her nose. We stayed together for almost a year.
            Thom; Did you get your pick up technique from a puppy?
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            • Profile picture of the author ThomM
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Thom; Did you get your pick up technique from a puppy?
              No Claude, but close.
              I got it from a bottle of MD (mad dog)20-20 and the bars 3 gins for a buck night
              And people wonder why I quit drinking
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          • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
            Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

            One time I walked up to a girl in a bar and gently bit her nose. We stayed together for almost a year.
            In quarantine?



            .
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        It fascinates me that there are still grown men that think that if you say the right "Pick up line", that a woman will say, "You are so clever. Let's have sex".

        Why not just talk to a woman like a person, that you want to talk to. Amazingly, that works.
        Serious. The best "line" I ever responded to was "Hi, I'm -----. Would you like to go get a coffee and talk for awhile?"

        How can you resist a guy that is that matter of fact and straight forward. No games, no crap - just wants to get to know you and let you see if you're interested in him and visa versa.

        I've heard some pick up lines that were absolutely gross. Gross enough to almost feel sorry for a guy idiotic enough to think that they're making an impression spewing them out of their mouths.

        WC - just tell her "I'm WC (or whatever your real name is - don't call yourself God or she's gone), and I think you're interesting. Would you like to get a drink and talk for awhile?" It's direct, polite, respectful. If she says yes, you might make a friend if nothing more. If she says no - don't take it personal, she might already be taken.

        If you find things in common, your talk will flow quite naturally.
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        • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          Serious. The best "line" I ever responded to was "Hi, I'm -----. Would you like to go get a coffee and talk for awhile?"

          How can you resist a guy that is that matter of fact and straight forward. No games, no crap - just wants to get to know you and let you see if you're interested in him and visa versa.
          That's how I usually approach a woman. I have never used a "pick up line" really. Just engaged her, let her know I am interested and go from there.
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          • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
            Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

            That's how I usually approach a woman. I have never used a "pick up line" really. Just engaged her, let her know I am interested and go from there.
            So you've been engaged with a lot of women... That must have been expensive. What are you, a jeweler?
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            • Profile picture of the author butters
              Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

              So you've been engaged with a lot of women... That must have been expensive. What are you, a jeweler?
              Surely a banker!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Try this:


    "Pardon me, miss. Where is the restroom? I have to take a massive dump."


    Works. Every. Time.
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Every morning a young farm laborer would see the farmers daughter making her way to the outside toilet just past the stables, she was beautiful and always smiled at him.

      After many weeks this painfully shy young man plucked up the courage to speak to her.

      Good morning, he said, good morning, she said back, it's a beautiful day, he said, yes it is, she replied...

      Long silence as he struggled to overcome his shyness...

      Finally he said... Er, did you have a nice Sh%T
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Try this:


      "Pardon me, miss. Where is the restroom? I have to take a massive dump."


      Works. Every. Time.
      I find that having something in common helps. Try for something universal. For example;

      "I hate Dan Riffle. You hate Dan Riffle too? I had no idea. Let's have sex".

      This has never failed to work.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Try this:
      "Pardon me, miss. Where is the restroom? I have to take a massive dump."
      Works. Every. Time.
      OMG! Riffle you are as sick as Claude.

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  • Profile picture of the author NRabosa
    Or this: Hi, I'm Claude. I don't have muscles or hair, but I have bubblewrap back at my place. Let's get away from this dump.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    This is a 100% true story.


    I was drinking with a buddy in a dark, little bar. This chick sits down next to me. She's a bit larger than I like. I don't mean heavy, just larger framed, but not unattractive. Think female basketball player.


    We exchanged pleasantries and I go back to talking to my friend. As I'm in the middle of telling a story, I feel a hand clamp down on my netherbits. I turn my head and she looks me dead in the eye and says, "My car's outside. You game?"


    A million thoughts flooded through my mind in a quarter of a second. The final though was, "I'm not 100% sure this is actually a woman." The first words to blurt out of my mouth? "Uh, I'm a Protestant." Which was strange because I don't consider myself religious.


    This lead to 15 minutes of the strangest conversation of my life. As I got up to leave, she pulled me aside (with a little more strength than was expected...) and said she'd be back at the bar the same time next week and would bring a friend and that we could "make things interesting."


    To this day, I'm not sure if I missed out on a threesome or my own murder.
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    • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      This is a 100% true story.


      I was drinking with a buddy in a dark, little bar. This chick sits down next to me. She's a bit larger than I like. I don't mean heavy, just larger framed, but not unattractive. Think female basketball player.


      We exchanged pleasantries and I go back to talking to my friend. As I'm in the middle of telling a story, I feel a hand clamp down on my netherbits. I turn my head and she looks me dead in the eye and says, "My car's outside. You game?"


      A million thoughts flooded through my mind in a quarter of second. The final though was, "I'm not 100% sure this is actually a woman." The first words to blurt out of my mouth? "Uh, I'm a Protestant." Which was strange because I don't consider myself religious.


      This lead to 15 minutes of the strangest conversation of my life. As I got up to leave, she pulled me aside (with a little more strength than was expected...) and said she'd be back at the bar the same time next week and would bring a friend and that we could "make things interesting."


      To this day, I'm not sure if I missed out on a threesome or my own murder.
      Yeah I would've been scared stiff too
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      This is a 100% true story.


      I was drinking with a buddy in a dark, little bar. This chick sits down next to me. She's a bit larger than I like. I don't mean heavy, just larger framed, but not unattractive. Think female basketball player.


      We exchanged pleasantries and I go back to talking to my friend. As I'm in the middle of telling a story, I feel a hand clamp down on my netherbits. I turn my head and she looks me dead in the eye and says, "My car's outside. You game?"


      A million thoughts flooded through my mind in a quarter of second. The final though was, "I'm not 100% sure this is actually a woman." The first words to blurt out of my mouth? "Uh, I'm a Protestant." Which was strange because I don't consider myself religious.


      This lead to 15 minutes of the strangest conversation of my life. As I got up to leave, she pulled me aside (with a little more strength than was expected...) and said she'd be back at the bar the same time next week and would bring a friend and that we could "make things interesting."


      To this day, I'm not sure if I missed out on a threesome or my own murder.
      I remember. I walked out thinking "I'm a Protestant"?
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    • Profile picture of the author butters
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      This is a 100% true story.


      I was drinking with a buddy in a dark, little bar. This chick sits down next to me. She's a bit larger than I like. I don't mean heavy, just larger framed, but not unattractive. Think female basketball player.


      We exchanged pleasantries and I go back to talking to my friend. As I'm in the middle of telling a story, I feel a hand clamp down on my netherbits. I turn my head and she looks me dead in the eye and says, "My car's outside. You game?"


      A million thoughts flooded through my mind in a quarter of second. The final though was, "I'm not 100% sure this is actually a woman." The first words to blurt out of my mouth? "Uh, I'm a Protestant." Which was strange because I don't consider myself religious.


      This lead to 15 minutes of the strangest conversation of my life. As I got up to leave, she pulled me aside (with a little more strength than was expected...) and said she'd be back at the bar the same time next week and would bring a friend and that we could "make things interesting."


      To this day, I'm not sure if I missed out on a threesome or my own murder.
      Probably a threesome :p
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by butters View Post

        Probably a threesome :p

        The more I think about it, it was probably both.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      To this day, I'm not sure if I missed out on a threesome or my own murder.
      I'm glad you didn't find out.
      This story is true, but not as dangerous as yours.

      Same thing, I'm in a bar..beautiful tall German woman comes up to me and says "Let's go. My car is outside". So I went. I was maybe 27 years old.

      She takes me to another bar...way off the beaten path..that she owns. and starts asking me what I want to drink. We had a few drinks, and she asks me what I want to eat. She's acting like a completely different woman now. She was very suggestive...and now she acts like I'm a regular customer. I mentioned, "I thought you wanted...". She whispered, "Later, after we close"

      It took about half an hour for it to sink in. She was charging me for everything. And the way she got men to her bar, was to pick them up. There was another guy at the bar....just sitting there..looking lost. So I asked him...and Yup, she did the same thing to him.

      Of course, neither of us had a car with us. He was really upset. I started laughing, and told her I was leaving. "Not until you pay your bill". Of course, everything she ordered was on it too. I paid it, and the other guy and I shared a cab.

      Weird experience.

      Added later; I couldn't remember the name, but I found it. It's called Erika's, and it's in Doylestown Ohio. Still in business.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Added later; I couldn't remember the name, but I found it. It's called Erika's, and it's in Doylestown Ohio. Still in business.


        Road trip!




        Added later: Never mind. It appears to be under new ownership. Rats.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        She takes me to another bar...way off the beaten path..that she owns. and starts asking me what I want to drink. We had a few drinks, and she asks me what I want to eat. She's acting like a completely different woman now. She was very suggestive...and now she acts like I'm a regular customer. I mentioned, "I thought you wanted...". She whispered, "Later, after we close"
        The ultimate line to pick up Claude...works every time.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    I've been a dating coach for well over a decade and with thousands of hours logged in the field, I can definitely say that pick up lines don't work. What's more effective is learning about social dynamics and what people respond to and improving yourself, becoming a man that's naturally attractive to women.

    The best in the business at the moment is right at RealSocialDynamics.com.

    Nobody breaks down the art of the pick up better than these guys. There's so much free content on their site and in their forum, you can spend months in there and still not absorb it all. I've gone out with some of their best and they blow me away at some of the things they are able to do in the field.

    On of the founders, Owen (aka Tyler) has gone out in the field probably more than anyone else I've ever met. Same with Jeffy and some of the other guys because they teach this stuff every weekend.

    I think you'll enjoy the site Walking Carpet; it will most definitely tighten up your game.

    Enjoy!

    RoD
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    • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
      Here's one that worked on me. I was at a party and met this tall beautiful Chinese woman with jet black hair down to her waist. She had on a short dress with a plunging neckline. She had a real sweet accent and these are the two sentences that worked magic on me: "I'm not wearing any underwear." and "I'm a nymphomaniac!". A few minutes later we went outside to my car and I confirmed the first sentence and I spent the next three or four months confirming the second.

      I'm not sure if these lines will work for you though, WC.
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

        Here's one that worked on me. I was at a party and met this tall beautiful Chinese woman with jet black hair down to her waist. She had on a short dress with a plunging neckline. She had a real sweet accent and these are the two sentences that worked magic on me: "I'm not wearing any underwear." and "I'm a nymphomaniac!". A few minutes later we went outside to my car and I confirmed the first sentence and I spent the next three or four months confirming the second.

        I'm not sure if these lines will work for you though, WC.
        No apparently, he finds them unattractive? I am glad we both don't!

        Especially since two Asian women, showed some interest in me over the last 3 days!

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        • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          No apparently, he finds them unattractive? I am glad we both don't!

          Especially since two Asian women, showed some interest in me over the last 3 days!
          I went through a period where I only dated Asian women. That lasted about 6 years, the last three with the same lady. Before that I never really thought about dating an Asian. It's funny how your tastes can change. After that period I dated, and almost married, a half Filipino - half black woman who is beautiful. Now, I prefer black women, but would never exclude anyone.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post


          Especially since two Asian women, showed some interest in me over the last 3 days!
          Store detectives?
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        • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
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          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          No apparently, he finds them unattractive? I am glad we both don't!

          Especially since two Asian women, showed some interest in me over the last 3 days!

          Asian women will show interest in a dead rat. Have you see Asians guys?? And the size of their willies???
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

            Asian women will show interest in a dead rat. Have you see Asians guys?? And the size of their willies???

            That means, if you just clean up a bit, you'll have a chance.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

        Here's one that worked on me. I was at a party and met this tall beautiful Chinese woman with jet black hair down to her waist. She had on a short dress with a plunging neckline. She had a real sweet accent and these are the two sentences that worked magic on me: "I'm not wearing any underwear." and "I'm a nymphomaniac!". A few minutes later we went outside to my car and I confirmed the first sentence and I spent the next three or four months confirming the second.

        I'm not sure if these lines will work for you though, WC.
        The Chinese woman was very soft spoken, I think you mis-heard her, she actually said, I'm not wearing any underwear, quietly: due to skid-marks and I'm a Kleptomaniac. An honest mistake not to hear it properly at a noisy party. Still, you had fun anyway, she was probably surprised at your forwardness.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

          The Chinese woman was very soft spoken, I think you mis-heard her, she actually said, I'm not wearing any underwear, quietly: due to skid-marks and I'm a Kleptomaniac. An honest mistake not to hear it properly at a noisy party. Still, you had fun anyway, she was probably surprised at your forwardness.
          She probably said, "I'm a necrophiliac, and you look like my type.
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        • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
          This was so dumb it made me really lol.

          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

          The Chinese woman was very soft spoken, I think you mis-heard her, she actually said, I'm not wearing any underwear, quietly: due to skid-marks and I'm a Kleptomaniac. An honest mistake not to hear it properly at a noisy party. Still, you had fun anyway, she was probably surprised at your forwardness.
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  • Profile picture of the author LGCalab
    This one isn't as spooky as Dan's either, but funny!

    Years ago, my date and I were sitting at a bar chatting and this woman sits down next to me. There are many open stools at the bar. She pulls out a cigarette and taps me on the shoulder. "You got a light?"

    My date, grabs a book of matches and with one hand opens the matches, bends a match over and strikes it. While it's igniting slides it across the bar and it lands directly in front of the woman. The match is still lit and the woman picks it up and lights her smoke. She looks at my date. My date is just smiling at her. Woman got up and moved. My date never said a word.

    LG
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    I use to have a system for this... but my girlfriend would KILL me if she read my post here and I told you! lol


    I will say this much though, if you hang out where women ARE, and where they are looking to hook up with people, and you hang out there CONSISTENTLY, in the same place... you wont need any lines.


    If you are consistent, you could literally just stand in the same spot, and not move.

    The law of averages will eventually catch up and you will have numerous people who are interested in you, no matter what niche category of "types" you fall into. Someone will approach you, because there is a "type" for every niche.


    Whether you are:


    The loud funny type
    The quiet shy type
    The tattooed type
    The clean cut type
    The metro sexual type
    The macho type...
    The Mr. Perosnality type
    The "NO" personality type.

    Someone will like you just for that reason.


    It's the law.


    The key is that you have to be in a high female traffic area.

    Cant get any women at home hangin out on the WF though.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

      I use to have a system for this... but my girlfriend would KILL me if she read my post here and I told you! lol


      Gee, John, let me guess. You played guitar in a band?
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Okay you got me... but that's just a "type". lol
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    True Story: I had a friend who was very direct. He's just walk up to girls in a bar and if they wanted to have sex. Some would say "Yeah, but not with you."

    He also got slapped a lot.

    He also had more sex than most guys.

    Here's another pick up line that works on Tim...

    "Hi."

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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      True Story: I had a friend who was very direct. He's just walk up to girls in a bar and if they wanted to have sex. Some would say "Yeah, but not with you."

      He also got slapped a lot.

      He also had more sex than most guys.

      Here's another pick up line that works on Tim...

      "Hi."

      Was your "friend's" name Dennis?
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    • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      Tim...

      "Hi."

      Are you trying to seduce me, Dennis?
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      • Profile picture of the author butters
        Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

        Are you trying to seduce me, Dennis?
        Would anyone try?
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by butters View Post

          Would anyone try?

          Remember this;
          For every beautiful woman, there are two men in their life. One man worships them, and would do anything to be with them. And the other man is just getting really tired of their sh!t.

          There is someone for everyone......


          Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

          Asian women will show interest in a dead rat. Have you see Asians guys?? And the size of their willies???

          ......almost everyone.
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          • Profile picture of the author butters
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            Remember this;
            For every beautiful woman, there are two men in their life. One man worships them, and would do anything to be with them. And the other man is just getting really tired of their sh!t.


            ......almost everyone.
            Yep, that's the old saying... Just remember that there is a guy bored of taking her crap and a new guy ready to take it!
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        • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
          Originally Posted by butters View Post

          Would anyone try?
          No. Just Dennis, and it's been such a long time, ol' Dennis is starting to look pretty damn good to me.
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

            No. Just Dennis, and it's been such a long time, ol' Dennis is starting to look pretty damn good to me.

            Well, he is quite a handsome man. And so burly.
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          • Profile picture of the author butters
            Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

            No. Just Dennis, and it's been such a long time, ol' Dennis is starting to look pretty damn good to me.
            Dennis is sophisticated, are you ready to break out all the stops?? I'm talking mc Donald's drive through, 20 nuggets, nothing less! A bottle of bubbly in the back, coke of course and for desert, a mc flurry!! If so, then your in with a shot!
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            • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
              Originally Posted by butters View Post

              Dennis is sophisticated, are you ready to break out all the stops?? I'm talking mc Donald's drive through, 20 nuggets, nothing less! A bottle of bubbly in the back, coke of course and for desert, a mc flurry!! If so, then your in with a shot!
              So, what did you guys do on your second date though? And the big question is, did you get to second base?
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              • Profile picture of the author butters
                Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

                So, what did you guys do on your second date though? And the big question is, did you get to second base?
                He made his move but I wasn't feeling it, he only ate a few nuggets, wasn't ilpressed!!
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by butters View Post

              Dennis is sophisticated, are you ready to break out all the stops?? I'm talking mc Donald's drive through, 20 nuggets, nothing less! A bottle of bubbly in the back, coke of course and for desert, a mc flurry!! If so, then your in with a shot!
              Mountain Dew comes in bottles?


              Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

              So, what did you guys do on your second date though? And the big question is, did you get to second base?
              At my age, I consider my wife letting me watch what I want on TV..... as Second Base.
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              • Profile picture of the author butters
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                Mountain Dew comes in bottles?
                Dunno, I'm British, never drunk it in my life!!
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                • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                  Originally Posted by butters View Post

                  Dunno, I'm British, never drunk it in my life!!
                  It's funny, because we were talking..... about....... Dennis..............DENNIS!

                  You see, Mountain Dew is a soft drink that is popular with men with beards. Dennis has a beard. Ipso Facto, he should like Mountain Dew.

                  I drink diet Mountain Dew a case a week. All True Americans do. It's in our National Anthem.
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                  • Profile picture of the author butters
                    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                    It's funny, because we were talking..... about....... Dennis..............DENNIS!

                    You see, Mountain Dew is a soft drink that is popular with men with beards. Dennis has a beard. Ipso Facto, he should like Mountain Dew.

                    I drink diet Mountain Dew a case a week. All True Americans do. It's in our National Anthem.
                    Right, Dennis has a soft side tho!! Why do you drink diet? Do you feel inferior to these manly men?
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                    • Profile picture of the author LGCalab
                      Originally Posted by butters View Post

                      Right, Dennis has a soft side tho!! Why do you drink diet? Do you feel inferior to these manly men?
                      You really want to see Claude all hyped up on sugar?

                      HI MY NAME'S CLAUDE... YOU WANNA SEE MY BUBBLE WRAP SUIT?
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                    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                      I think I may have shared this here before but it is a true story ~

                      The only pick up line that ever worked for me was actually a poorly written little ditty scribbled on a scrap of paper. It read:

                      Roses are red,
                      Violets are blue,
                      I can't write worth sh*t,
                      But I still want to go to the movies with you.
                      After I finished cracking up when I read it, I couldn't resist .

                      Terra
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                      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                        I think I may have shared this here before but it is a true story ~

                        The only pick up line that ever worked for me was actually a poorly written little ditty scribbled on a scrap of paper. It read:

                        Roses are red,
                        Violets are blue,
                        I can't write worth sh*t,
                        But I still want to go to the movies with you.
                        After I finished cracking up when I read it, I couldn't resist .

                        Terra
                        Bet you cant remember what film you went to see?
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                        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                          Bet you cant remember what film you went to see?
                          Yes I can.

                          It was ET.


                          Terra
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                          • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
                            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                            Store detectives?
                            Hmmm, pretty funny, but one was at the Melb, flower show, and l was just getting some info, from her, she picked up that l was interested.

                            But for some reason l have Asian women fall for me more than Australians?

                            The second was at an Italian restaurant, (l had to take my mother down to the dentist over to days, this week).

                            Both were attractive, but too young!


                            Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

                            Asian women will show interest in a dead rat. Have you see Asians guys?? And the size of their willies???
                            Asian guys and the size,.....no, l don't go to male Asian porn sites online. Gulp!!!!! Maybe l was right about the pink, cross dressing thing?

                            Dead rat,.... l take it that you tried to ask a seriously hot Asian woman out once, and she told you to put on a shirt and walked away?

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                            • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
                              Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post


                              Both were attractive, but too young!
                              How old is too young?
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                              • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
                                Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

                                How old is too young?
                                Well if there is a 20 to 25 year difference, then it is probably doomed from the start!

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                              • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
                                Pickup lines are for people who have no idea of why a women is attracted to a dude.

                                Pickup lines are for people with no game, not much social skills when it comes to the other gender, and absolutely for those who do not recognize when a woman is interested and when she is not.

                                Pickup lines come from entrepreneurs who started the PickUp artist industry making millions from guys with no clue. The PickUp artist is an absolute, total fraud.

                                These guys watch real guys with game, players , macks, pimps, etc., and came up with a theory of why these types can get women.

                                The theory is still a theory and is false.

                                Some guys know whats the game but most guys stumble into either success or failure, not knowing really why they got either.

                                Within 5 to 11 seconds or so, a woman already has decided if she is attracted to you and everything else that goes with it.

                                If a woman is "too much work", she probably is not for you, unless you are desperate for any human contact of the opposite gender.

                                Nowadays, a percentage of women display "Masculine" energy, which one should avoid like the plague.

                                One of a womans primary instinct is security, whether socially, financial or whatever, so guys "MISTAKINGLY" assume if a woman is talking to them, she really likes him.

                                A good percentage of women take the "lesser of evil" approach and would take a chance on a "niiiiiccce guy" simply because of the bad experiences and will sometimes go for the "what-the-hell" approach, because the type of guys she's REALLY attracted to usually turn out bad.

                                Don't be attracted to one of these "settlers" .

                                Thats why guys , with any sense, look for "old school" value women , where women want to be women. Most women are forced to be both the man and women in their families out of necessity because of no male figure, and thats great, just don't hook up with one who has a habit out of necessity or other psychosis factors that SHE needs to sometimes or MOST times wear the pants.

                                Which is one of the reasons a lot of shows promote "effeminate, wishy-washy, unsure, scared-of-their-opposite-gender" type characters which I can no longer watch or stomach.

                                As an example, in this Lab and Lecture, a guy was in a club hanging out. Some nice looking woman was eye-balling him, then proceeded to give him a silent gesture with her finger as to say "come here", motioning him with her finger.

                                He then turned his back on her and NEVER , ever engaged her again, in any way. Now, some would say this guy is crazy, thats free stuff, jackpot....., sure, to someone thats desperate, needy and hungry with no self worth. BUT, he said she displayed MASCULINE energy, you know, the ball busting type, dominatrix type energy. The logic is, "I am not some dog or pet you COMMAND or train to your whim".

                                REAL bro's knows what I am talking about.

                                But if settling is your thing, hey, what ever makes you happy.

                                It is a shame when you see guys with ALL the tools for the game, whether good-looking, successful, tough guy looking, in shape, etc., and they simply do not know or use properly what they have, and end up with some screeching, pants wearing , dominatrix, demanding shrew , who all she has to offer is the promise of sex and or human contact/companionship, or maybe she is a partner to pay the bills, an even more pathetic reason.

                                Poor saps do not know there are women FOR THEM, but most guys are too lazy, desperate, hungry and lack patience until the right one shows up, and even then, they are afraid to ask and demand what she is bringing to the table besides access to sex. Most guys do not put themselves in position to be the very best version of themselves to attract the ones that are for them.

                                Dudes will do this simply just to say to their friends and relatives, " I have a girlfriend" or " I got someone HOT". HOT, but not getting any, demanding, too much work, and you have become her personal concierge and gofer, all the while telling your friends that "you are the man who wears the pants and you are tapping that", woefully pathetic, even more painfully, that this chump got "friends" like that.

                                Learn to stay away from your" boyfriends" bro's, man up, and learn to make your own way, alone, most times.

                                A lot of these type women will NEVER fully, give of themselves to you because they really was not fully attracted to you in the first place, they "settled", which is why in time, as the relationship goes, these problems manifest out and eventually come back to bite you.

                                Besides, if you try to get honest opinions or advice about women by women , man , you are lost, because like most marketing surveys, women are going to mostly say what they deem seem to be the right thing to say or aspire to, although in real life practice, it is not so.

                                Pickup lines and PickUp artist have always been and always will be a fraudulent theory masquerading as some sort of art and/or science.

                                Women are either attracted to very handsome/pretty boy men or very macho/tough guy that on first look, you do not question he can take care of business with no apologies.

                                Thats why Sean Connery for one reason, was a successful James Bond, he had the Brad Pitt model looks and was tough hombre who made no apologies for who he was.

                                If you fall in-between, you got to self-improve to be the BEST version of yourself a gravitate to the polarity that fits you naturally.

                                A lot of guys were raised too much like " girlie" men, no captains of their ship with a definitive destination and are looking for the woman or women who want what THEY want.

                                In any company, there can never be 2 CEO'S, but a lot of guys buy that "compromise" crap. Most guys should be really saying, " I going in THIS direction and I am going to do THIS. If you want to come, lets go, if not, see ya." Without blinking twice.

                                A lot of us guys still need to learn "how" to be a man, which don't mean abusive, just mean being one's own boss of one's own self, life and destiny, the one AND ONLY captain of your life, in the true meaning of the word. If a woman wants to be captain on YOUR ship, she needs to find her own ship and crew, leave you out, but a lot of guys "settle" for the co-captain option.

                                Desperation is neither attractive nor manly.

                                A man who is his own man does not need to worry of being alone and IS not worried if he is, there are always plenty applicants who want to get aboard your ship and be your crew.

                                This is not to convince anyone of anything, just for those who would do their own research and quest for self-improvement.

                                The 13th Warrior
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                                • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
                                  Originally Posted by The 13th Warrior View Post


                                  It is a shame when you see guys with ALL the tools for the game, whether good-looking, successful, tough guy looking, in shape, etc., and they simply do not know or use properly what they have, and end up with some screeching, pants wearing , dominatrix, demanding shrew , who all she has to offer is the promise of sex and or human contact/companionship, or maybe she is a partner to pay the bills, an even more pathetic reason.

                                  Poor saps do not know there are women FOR THEM, but most guys are too lazy, desperate, hungry and lack patience until the right one shows up, and even then, they are afraid to ask and demand what she is bringing to the table besides access to sex. Most guys do not put themselves in position to be the very best version of themselves to attract the ones that are for them.
                                  Yes, l could have been in a relationship 10 years ago, with someone who l saw on and off at a social group. She took a long time to show interest in me, and her parents certainly wanted me to date her, (she didn't have many friends, etc).

                                  But we had virtually nothing in common, and l knew that, (as you have said) that we would both be bored to tears with each other within a few years.

                                  A lot of these type women will NEVER fully, give of themselves to you because they really was not fully attracted to you in the first place, they "settled", which is why in time, as the relationship goes, these problems manifest out and eventually come back to bite you.

                                  Besides, if you try to get honest opinions or advice about women by women , man , you are lost, because like most marketing surveys, women are going to mostly say what they deem seem to be the right thing to say or aspire to, although in real life practice, it is not so.


                                  Desperation is neither attractive nor manly.
                                  No, l am not desperate any more, just stumped?


                                  A man who is his own man does not need to worry of being alone and IS not worried if he is, there are always plenty applicants who want to get aboard your ship and be your crew.

                                  This is not to convince anyone of anything, just for those who would do their own research and quest for self-improvement.

                                  The 13th Warrior
                                  Yes, there is a grain of truth to that one, but if you have been improving yourself for years on end, and only get a lot in common, but not interested, or nothing in common am interested types, then the obvious question arises, why?

                                  A skeptic puts it down to bad luck; l tend to put it down to, someone upstairs wants me to be single forever?

                                  I am reasonably sure that that isn't the case, but it looks that way at the moment?



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                                • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
                                  Originally Posted by The 13th Warrior View Post

                                  Pickup lines are for people who have no idea of why a women is attracted to a dude.

                                  This is not to convince anyone of anything, just for those who would do their own research and quest for self-improvement.

                                  The 13th Warrior
                                  Talk about a conversation killer in what was a great fun thread. .

                                  Ken
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                            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                              Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

                              Hmmm, pretty funny, but one was at the Melb, flower show, and l was just getting some info, from her, she picked up that l was interested.

                              But for some reason l have Asian women fall for me more than Australians?


                              It's because they can't understand what you are saying.
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                          • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                            Yes I can.

                            It was ET.


                            Terra
                            Ok, last one, bet you cant remember the second.
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                            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                              Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                              Ok, last one, bet you cant remember the second.
                              You lose!

                              It was Porky's and then it was Poltergeist and then it was Tootsie.

                              So there!


                              Terra
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                              • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                                Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                                You lose!

                                It was Porky's and then it was Poltergeist and then it was Tootsie.

                                So there!


                                Terra
                                Terra K, the Amazing Memory Woman. :-)
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                              • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                                Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                                You lose!

                                It was Porky's and then it was Poltergeist and then it was Tootsie.

                                So there!


                                Terra

                                Seems like a long relationship for a 17 year old girl.
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                                Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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                                • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                                  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                                  Seems like a long relationship for a 17 year old girl.
                                  Probably because I wasn't.

                                  I remember them because I chose the first one, ET, then he chose the second one, Porky's.

                                  I was like !!!

                                  So I chose the next two. He was not allowed to choose after Porky's, lol!


                                  Terra
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                                  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                                    Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                                    Probably because I wasn't.

                                    I remember them because I chose the first one, ET, then he chose the second one, Porky's.

                                    I was like !!!

                                    So I chose the next two. He was not allowed to choose after Porky's, lol!


                                    Terra


                                    Hey, Porky's is a damn fine piece of American cinema.
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                        • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                          Bet you cant remember what film you went to see?
                          Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                          Yes I can.

                          It was ET.


                          Terra
                          Are you sure? I thought it was "Harold and Claude", the not-so-well-known sequel to the cult classic "Harold and Maude", where Claude takes over the part played by Ruth Gordon.
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                    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                      Originally Posted by butters View Post

                      Right, Dennis has a soft side tho!! Why do you drink diet? Do you feel inferior to these manly men?

                      No. Real manly men always drink diet sodas. And the most manly men use a straw....and a little umbrella.

                      So there!


                      Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                      I think I may have shared this here before but it is a true story ~

                      The only pick up line that ever worked for me was actually a poorly written little ditty scribbled on a scrap of paper. It read:

                      Roses are red,
                      Violets are blue,
                      I can't write worth sh*t,
                      But I still want to go to the movies with you.
                      After I finished cracking up when I read it, I couldn't resist .

                      Terra
                      You guys that want to get a great girl, that you'll want to stay with? This is the way. And be nice to her friends, family, and pets.
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                      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                        No. Real manly men always drink diet sodas. And the most manly men use a straw....and a little umbrella.

                        So there!
                        Haha!

                        Honestly, I have never seen any man drink a diet pop, ever, let alone with a little umbrella.

                        Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author agmccall
          So, are we providing the content for someones new "Dating" product

          al
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          "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas Edison

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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Best pickup line ever used on me was, "Well, the bar is empty except for us........so I guess it's you...or nothing."

            Another one that got me all excited, "If you stop begging me, I'll let you touch me".

            Ahhhh true love.
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            • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Best pickup line ever used on me was, "Well, the bar is empty except for us........so I guess it's you...or nothing."
              ...and then she turned and walked out the door alone.

              This, friends, is an example of the saying, "Sometimes less is more, much, much more."
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              Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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              • Profile picture of the author kindsvater
                I grew up in a small town in the Colorado foothills. We're not talking a lot of "diversification" - not that I knew.

                Then I decided to move to San Francisco for law school. A "bit" of culture shock. Including riding the bus to school one day and getting picked up despite my wedding ring.

                Black guy dressed in leather, holding a long leash. Tied to the other end of the leash was a white guy wearing a muzzle. Black guy asked if I wanted to go home with him.

                I looked at him, the leash, the muzzled guy ... and made a beeline off the bus.

                .
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                • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                  Originally Posted by kindsvater View Post

                  I grew up in a small town in the Colorado foothills. We're not talking a lot of "diversification" - not that I knew.

                  Then I decided to move to San Francisco for law school. A "bit" of culture shock. Including riding the bus to school one day and getting picked up despite my wedding ring.

                  Black guy dressed in leather, holding a long leash. Tied to the other end of the leash was a white guy wearing a muzzle. Black guy asked if I wanted to go home with him.

                  I looked at him, the leash, the muzzled guy ... and made a beeline off the bus.

                  .
                  If that was your best pickup line, I'd hate to hear your worst...
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              • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                This, friends,
                Aaaaaaannnnnnnd....that's where you lost all credibility with me.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Was your "friend's" name Dennis?

        Funny, but no.


        Originally Posted by TimPhelan View Post

        Are you trying to seduce me, Dennis?

        Nope. Sorry, wasn't trying to lead you on.
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        Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    1945 to 1963 Most effective pickup line (won't say where) $2.00
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Terra...You are the Warrior Forum's Claude Whisperer...Can you please do something about Claude? Pretty Please?
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      Terra...You are the Warrior Forum's Claude Whisperer...Can you please do something about Claude? Pretty Please?
      Well, I'm not sure about that, but what the heck? I could give it a shot...

      They say if you want someone's attention, just whisper...

      Psssst, Claude...

      Follow me you naughty boy...




      It is said that the magic is in the hole of these magic donuts.



      Uh, how was that? LOL!


      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        I thought it would work after I saw this cartoon of him.





        Haha!


        Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Well, I'm not sure about that, but what the heck? I could give it a shot...

        They say if you want someone's attention, just whisper...

        Psssst, Claude...

        Follow me you naughty boy...




        It is said that the magic is in the hole of these magic donuts.



        Uh, how was that? LOL!


        Terra
        Claude wants to go for the glazed doughnuts. I want to go for the legs in the shop!
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      • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
        Banned
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Well, I'm not sure about that, but what the heck? I could give it a shot...

        They say if you want someone's attention, just whisper...

        Psssst, Claude...

        Follow me you naughty boy...




        It is said that the magic is in the hole of these magic donuts.



        Uh, how was that? LOL!


        Terra
        I think you had him at 'donut'.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Well, I'm not sure about that, but what the heck? I could give it a shot...

        They say if you want someone's attention, just whisper...

        Psssst, Claude...

        Follow me you naughty boy...

        It is said that the magic is in the hole of these magic donuts.



        Uh, how was that? LOL!


        Terra

        Must....not....respond..............must .....let.....it ......go..................
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Pick-up line? Why not use a net?
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    Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
    Banned
    Ok if I had to choose a line I'd say something like...
    'Nice dress babe. *pause* Bet you look better without it'.
    Something I made up.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

      Ok if I had to choose a line I'd say something like...
      'Nice dress babe. *pause* Bet you look better without it'.
      Something I made up.




      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Best way to pick up Claude?


    A combination of cranes, forklifts, and a series of pulleys and levers.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      Best way to pick up Claude?


      A combination of cranes, forklifts, and a series of pulleys and levers.
      I've lost weight. The levers are no longer necessary.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I've lost weight. The levers are no longer necessary.
        You haven't lost weight, you've just misplaced it. Check out your butt in a mirror and you'll find the weight again.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

          You haven't lost weight, you've just misplaced it. Check out your butt in a mirror and you'll find the weight again.
          It bothers me that you look at my butt so closely, that you can tell when it gains or loses weight.
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          • Profile picture of the author Kurt
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            It bothers me that you look at my butt so closely, that you can tell when it gains or loses weight.
            Yes, those pants make your butt look big! Every pair of pants make your butt look big, including plaid polyester pants, because your butt is big! So quit asking me!
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

              Yes, those pants make your butt look big! Every pair of pants make your butt look big, including plaid polyester pants because your butt is big! So quit asking me!

              Then stop sending me plaid polyester pants that are way too tight. I'm not here to satisfy your "Glengarry Glen Ross" fantasies.
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      • Well now, fortunately for you folks, the Love Doctor of Stumpwoody Holler is here! I shore don't need no pickup line cause all the women folk flock to me like bees on honey!

        Here is the thang... A real man don't need no pickup line if he has got himself a pickup TRUCK! Women is just crazy about pickup trucks! The really nice thang is that you can go parkin out at the lake and you and her can climb into the back of the truck and do a little neckin on the sofa!

        Why, afore you know it, you and her will be swappin chewin tabacky! That there is first base. If you are lucky enuff to hit a home run, well, THEN she will buy you your OWN pouch of tabacky! That there is when you know thangs is gettin serious!

        Okay, enuff of me given you folks free info on picking up the ladies! I gots to go get my pickup truck cause I am going carousin tonight!

        Ya'll take care!
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        • Profile picture of the author Cali16
          T.T.Hogg, where've you been? So good to see you 'round these parts! You need to visit here more often!
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          If you don't face your fears, the only thing you'll ever see is what's in your comfort zone. ~Anne McClain, astronaut
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  • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
    Banned
    Children. children. Calm down now.
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  • Well I've learned quite a few tips from this....


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    Arnold Stolting - Stolting Media Group
    "I LOVE The Song! The Vibe Is Positive And Firm!" - Kymani Marley. (Son of Bob Marley).

    "Very High Quality!" Jeremy Harding - Manager / Producer. Sean Paul.
    "They Are FANTASTIC!" - Willie Crawford.

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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by stoltingmediagroup View Post

      Well I've learned quite a few tips from this....
      I remember, I had to shave my legs for that photo.
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      • Profile picture of the author discrat
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I remember, I had to shave my legs for that photo.
        Pro Social or not those are some sexy legs there
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        Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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        • Profile picture of the author discrat
          Arnold Schwarzenegger in Venice Beach in 1970s...
          "Hey you want to F@ck !"

          And from what I heard this Line worked well on a number of occasions for the Austrian Oak
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          Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by discrat View Post

            Arnold Schwarzenegger in Venice Beach in 1970s...
            "Hey you want to F@ck !"

            And from what I heard this Line worked well on a number of occasions for the Austrian Oak
            Sure, if you looked like that...in Venice Beach..you would probably do well. He would be very attractive to women with specific tastes.

            If someone like you or me did the exact same thing? We'd be in jail.
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            • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Then stop sending me plaid polyester pants that are way too tight. I'm not here to satisfy your "Glengarry Glen Ross" fantasies.
              No, that is WC department!


              Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

              That's what the rest of us call a lucky rabbit's foot.
              Or foot in mouth!


              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

              Unfortunately for Claeude, it just speeds up the inevitable.
              True, but he can last an extra 10 seconds with that technique!




              Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

              Children. children. Calm down now.
              Ahhh, now the truth comes out, l always suspected that you were 5 years old, and just used the avatar image as a front?

              Explains a lot!

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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by discrat View Post

          Pro Social or not those are some sexy legs there
          Hmmmm...

          I think he got his mother's thighs, lol!


          Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Well, let's see if I can get this thread back on track. When I was single I was quite successful with the ladies. Here's one of my best pick-up lines:

    .......Hi, I'm new in town. Will you be my girlfriend until I can find someone better?

    You're welcome, WC.
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  • Profile picture of the author Nate Simms
    Scene: at the bar.


    My buddy to attractive girl at said bar: "Say, how do you like your eggs in the morning?"

    Attractive girl: "Unfertilized."

    Me: *beer coming out of my nose in fit of laughter*

    He is now happily married. I made sure to bring this story up during my best man toast at his wedding.
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    • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Nate Simms View Post

      Scene: at the bar.


      My buddy to attractive girl at said bar: "Say, how do you like your eggs in the morning?"

      Attractive girl: "Unfertilized."

      Me: *beer coming out of my nose in fit of laughter*

      He is now happily married. I made sure to bring this story up during my best man toast at his wedding.
      Happily married to that girl?
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      • Profile picture of the author Nate Simms
        Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

        Happily married to that girl?
        Christ, no.

        She was WAYYY out of his league.

        ... he was just too drunk to realize it.
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        • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Nate Simms View Post

          Christ, no.

          She was WAYYY out of his league.

          ... he was just too drunk to realize it.
          Women only look for 2 things bud. Willie and Wallet.
          No such thing as leagues.
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          • Profile picture of the author Nate Simms
            Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

            Women only look for 2 things bud. Willie and Wallet.
            No such thing as leagues.
            Oh, there are leagues.

            Big, Bigger, and Biggest.

            Both willies and wallet.
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            • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
              Banned
              Originally Posted by Nate Simms View Post

              Oh, there are leagues.

              Big, Bigger, and Biggest.

              Both willies and wallet.
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              • Profile picture of the author Nate Simms
                Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

                ... that is the argument that somebody makes when they are in the least desirable of the leagues.
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                • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
                  true story:

                  when I was around 21 or so (too long ago) I was in this bar in downtown Montreal, and a gorgeous guy walks up to me, doesn't say a word, but looks me straight in the eyes and softly strokes my cheek. Then he takes me by the hand and leads to me to the dance floor.
                  We dance really slow and sexy, and he never says a word until the dance is over and then he says "let's get out of here".
                  I went with him - I mean he was hypnotic - and I was young and foolish...
                  and the night was magical...

                  Sadly, I never saw him again after that one night.

                  Thinking back on that now, that wasn't the smartest thing to do - but he was irresistible. I guess because he was so quietly confident and that made him seem even more sexy.
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                  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                    Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

                    true story:

                    when I was around 21 or so (too long ago) I was in this bar in downtown Montreal, and a gorgeous guy walks up to me, doesn't say a word, but looks me straight in the eyes and softly strokes my cheek. Then he takes me by the hand and leads to me to the dance floor.
                    We dance really slow and sexy, and he never says a word until the dance was over and then he says "let's get out of here".
                    I went with him - I mean he was hypnotic - and I was young and foolish...
                    and the night was magical...

                    Sadly, I never saw him again after that one night.

                    Thinking back on that now, that wasn't the smartest thing to do - but he was irresistible. I guess because he was so quietly confident and that made him seem even more sexy.
                    Claude said something about being a good looker in his 20's. But no, it could never be, he would have asked you to buy him a drink before you left.
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                    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
                      Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                      Claude said something about being a good looker in his 20's. But no, it could never be, he would have asked you to buy him a drink before you left.
                      and I would have laughed and said "oops, I left my wallet at home, good night!"
                      and walked away -
                      lol
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                  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
                    Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

                    true story:

                    when I was around 21 or so (too long ago) I was in this bar in downtown Montreal, and a gorgeous guy walks up to me, doesn't say a word, but looks me straight in the eyes and softly strokes my cheek. Then he takes me by the hand and leads to me to the dance floor.
                    We dance really slow and sexy, and he never says a word until the dance is over and then he says "let's get out of here".
                    I went with him - I mean he was hypnotic - and I was young and foolish...
                    and the night was magical...

                    Sadly, I never saw him again after that one night.

                    Thinking back on that now, that wasn't the smartest thing to do - but he was irresistible. I guess because he was so quietly confident and that made him seem even more sexy.

                    Oh stop, you're embarrassing me.
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                    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
                      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                      Oh stop, you're embarrassing me.
                      shhhh - you weren't supposed to tell!
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                  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                    Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

                    true story:

                    when I was around 21 or so (too long ago) I was in this bar in downtown Montreal, and a gorgeous guy walks up to me, doesn't say a word, but looks me straight in the eyes and softly strokes my cheek. Then he takes me by the hand and leads to me to the dance floor.
                    We dance really slow and sexy, and he never says a word until the dance is over and then he says "let's get out of here".
                    I went with him - I mean he was hypnotic - and I was young and foolish...
                    and the night was magical...

                    Sadly, I never saw him again after that one night.

                    Thinking back on that now, that wasn't the smartest thing to do - but he was irresistible. I guess because he was so quietly confident and that made him seem even more sexy.
                    Karen; I know it wasn't me. Because if I were that guy, you would have said.....

                    "And the night was magical...and in the morning I owned a new vacuum cleaner...and my checkbook was missing".
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                    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                      Karen; I know it wasn't me. Because if I were that guy, you would have said.....

                      "And the night was magical...and in the morning I owned a new vacuum cleaner...and my checkbook was missing".
                      You are mostly right except she wouldn't have said: "And the night was magical"
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                      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                        Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                        You are mostly right except she wouldn't have said: "And the night was magical"
                        Maybe. Maybe Karen would think me watching HBO all night and cleaning out her refrigerator...qualifies as magical.


                        I always considered a night, "Magical"...if I didn't wake up in my car.


                        We all have our standards.
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                        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                          Maybe. Maybe Karen would think me watching HBO all night and cleaning out her refrigerator...qualifies as magical.


                          I always considered a night, "Magical"...if I didn't wake up in my car.


                          We all have our standards.
                          Somehow I think " Let's get out of here, there's a 12 Hour Buster Keaton Marathon on HBO I want to see and how much food have you got in your fridge" would not be considered magical to anyone. But, she said she was young and impressionable in those days and you owned a car!
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                          • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
                            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                            Karen; I know it wasn't me. Because if I were that guy, you would have said.....

                            "And the night was magical...and in the morning I owned a new vacuum cleaner...and my checkbook was missing".
                            Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                            You are mostly right except she wouldn't have said: "And the night was magical"
                            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                            Maybe. Maybe Karen would think me watching HBO all night and cleaning out her refrigerator...qualifies as magical.


                            I always considered a night, "Magical"...if I didn't wake up in my car.


                            We all have our standards.
                            Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                            Somehow I think " Let's get out of here, there's a 12 Hour Buster Keaton Marathon on HBO I want to see and how much food have you got in your fridge" would not be considered magical to anyone. But, she said she was young and impressionable in those days and you owned a car!
                            hahaha - you guys crack me up - as much as like to eat and I like a clean house, you must know that my definition of magical doesn't include either of those activities.
                            I was a hopeless romantic then, and I guess I must still be to a certain extent, because I have never forgotten that night almost 40 years ago!
                            In fact, sometimes I wonder if it was all just a dream, because the guy disappeared from the face of the earth. I remember asking about him and no one knew who he was or ever saw him again.

                            so back to pick up lines - sometimes saying nothing at all, just using your eyes and your body to communicate is enough to get a woman under your spell. Or it could get you a slap in the face - depending on the woman.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
                    Originally Posted by Karen Blundell View Post

                    I guess because he was so quietly confident and that made him seem even more sexy.

                    Nothing on the planet is sexier than confidence.


                    Joe Mobley
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                    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                      Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

                      Nothing on the planet is sexier than confidence.


                      Joe Mobley

                      A beautiful woman once said to me, "What I find most attractive about you, is that you exude confidence. I'm a beautiful woman, and you don't even feel the need to hold in your stomach. That's real confidence".

                      I said, "I am holding in my stomach".
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                      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                        A beautiful woman once said to me, "What I find most attractive about you, is that you exude confidence. I'm a beautiful woman, and you don't even feel the need to hold in your stomach. That's real confidence".

                        I said, "I am holding in my stomach".
                        Which had the effect of pushing your man boobs out...You hussy
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                        • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
                          Guy: "You complete me"

                          Girl: "You had me at I have a job"


                          Joe Mobley
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                          • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
                            I've read through this whole thread. One of the best of all time. Hillarious.
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                      • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
                        Banned
                        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                        A beautiful woman once said to me, "What I find most attractive about you, is that you exude confidence. I'm a beautiful woman, and you don't even feel the need to hold in your stomach. That's real confidence".

                        I said, "I am holding in my stomach".
                        IS there a way to hold in the bald patches?
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  • Profile picture of the author mkgg
    Hi

    The best pickup line in the world if you can pull it off
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  • Profile picture of the author Rick Britton
    your friends tell me I'd be good for you
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  • Profile picture of the author allegandro
    I sad "Hi", she sad "Hi" back.

    3,5 years later we are married and have a beautiful son.

    So in my case just HI is good enough.
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    Meow!

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