I found a snake in my flower bed today!

Jack Gordon

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

I found a snake in my flower bed today!

aww... I thought for sure that was a euphemism...

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MissTerraK 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Jack Gordon

aww... I thought for sure that was a euphemism...

Hahaha!

You made me spit out my last bite of steak.

Terra
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Alton Hargrave

9 years ago

You did well. It is hard to resist the urge to panic when confronted with the legless ones. Most are harmless and are just fighting a similar urge themselves. So, you both are to be commemorated for your courage.

You may have made a new friend!

Alton

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positivenegative

9 years ago

Cue . . .

Snake in bed jokes
Flower bed jokes
WC machetes a snake in a bed jokes
Claude in flower bed jokes
Claude in bed with a snake jokes
Claude with a flower in bed jokes
Claude and Riffle with a snake jokes
Claude with Riffle in bed with a snake jokes
Claude and Riffle in a flower bed jokes
Claude and . .blah . . blah . . jokes
Claude and . . etc . .
Ad infinitum

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by positivenegative

Cue . . .

Snake in bed jokes
Flower bed jokes
WC machetes a snake in a bed jokes
Claude in flower bed jokes
Claude in bed with a snake jokes
Claude with a flower in bed jokes
Claude and Riffle with a snake jokes
Claude with Riffle in bed with a snake jokes
Claude and Riffle in a flower bed jokes
Claude and . .blah . . blah . . jokes
Claude and . . etc . .
Ad infinitum

NOOOOOoooooooooooo!

Terra

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by positivenegative

Cue . . .

Snake in bed jokes
Flower bed jokes
WC machetes a snake in a bed jokes
Claude in flower bed jokes
Claude in bed with a snake jokes
Claude with a flower in bed jokes
Claude and Riffle with a snake jokes
Claude with Riffle in bed with a snake jokes
Claude and Riffle in a flower bed jokes
Claude and . .blah . . blah . . jokes
Claude and . . etc . .
Ad infinitum

Well, if that's the assignment you're giving us........

Originally Posted by Jack Gordon

aww... I thought for sure that was a euphemism...

I may be too old, for that to have occurred to me. But it made me laugh out loud.

OK, your assignment is to write ten "Flower bed jokes". We have to get this assignment on schedule.

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

And guess what else? He didn't slither away. He just kept his eyes locked on me and followed my every move as I was working in the bed. He kept flicking his tongue at me though.
Terra

Snake thought process;
"Is it too big to eat?"
"Is it big enough to eat me?"
"Is it warm?"
"If I keep flicking my tongue, like I learned in the Pick-Up Artist Seminar, will she like me?"
"Strange, the flicking tongue thing usually at least gets me to First Base. What's wrong with this woman?"
"I feel like biting something. Where is Riffle?" (One "Snake wanting to kiss Terra, then bite Riffle" joke medley)

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lanfear63 9 years ago

Iv'e just come from the Snake Forum. One posted: I was sitting in a flower bed this afternoon when all of a sudden I locked eyes with this glamorous, fifty something, big haired, ex Texan woman. I did not scream or throw a hissy fit. Eventually she blinked (we of course don't) and I was able to slither away. Phewwww, close call. Im going out tonight to a bar and I'm going to get legless.....Wait
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- lanfear63 9 years ago
  
  Ten Claude Flower bed jokes as ordered...
  
  1) When Claude pulls the covers off himself to get out of bed in the morning, it's never a case of Wake Up And Smell The Roses.
  
  2) The only kind of flower Claude likes is spelt Flour, as in dounuts.
  
  3) Claude once surprised his wife on their anniversary by announcing that he'd bought her a Garland. Turned out to be a VHS video of the Wizard Of Oz he'd found in the bargain bucket at Wal-Mart
  
  4) Claudes always plucking the petals off flowers. Saying: I love me, I love me not.
  
  5) Claudes back yard is full of wild flowers, along with 6 foot grass and weeds, a rusting old bathtub and a wheel off his moped.
  
  6) Claude paid for wooden fences to be erected around his property as he'd never invest in a Hedge Fund.
  
  7) Claude cuts his grass with a Hoover Mower.
  
  8) Claude always throws his leftovers out onto his grass because he heard that Scotts advert which says: Feed your Lawn, Feed it
  
  9) Claude has three different sized, empty flower beds in his backyard which he has named: Mummy Bare, Daddy Bare and Baby Bare.
  
  10) Claude is always inviting young lades to come round and sit on his deck.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by lanfear63
  
  4) Claudes always plucking the petals off flowers. Saying: I love me, I love me not.
  
  You get me! You really get me!
  
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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Alton Hargrave

You did well. It is hard to resist the urge to panic when confronted with the legless ones. Most are harmless and are just fighting a similar urge themselves. So, you both are to be commemorated for your courage.

You may have made a new friend!

Alton

Thanks! I definitely had to resist my fight or flight instinct, as I wanted to do neither.

But as far as making a new friend? I'm not sure I want our relationship to be that meaningful, lol!

Terra

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HeySal

9 years ago

Snake probably thought he was about to get the BC comics treatment for a minute and was afraid to do anything.

Good for you, Terra. Now you can see a snake without screaming and running, you're ready to come out to the rattler filled west and hunt rocks with me! We can laugh at a few of the guys from my website who haven't mastered the see a snake and not scream like a girl thing.

Snakes and spiders might not be the most attractive kids on the block, but seeing them in your garden can give you the peace of mind that your garden is healthy.

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tagiscom 9 years ago

At least you didn't find a snake in your boot?

Thank you l will accept applause!

Yes, watched a black head snake slither about on the back cement path, (when l lived on a farm) and find a few small garden lizards.

Black head snakes are just about the most venomous snakes in Australia, but if you keep out of their way it isn't an issue.

I did have one slither towards me once, and l just jumped up on the gate and let him through, probably had one of the cows try to stomp on him?
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WalkingCarpet

Banned 9 years ago

A creepy-lookin snake? Are there cute-lookin snakes?

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perryny 9 years ago

Funny you should ask, WC.

Several years back, I found a baby garter snake in my own backyard flowerbed. Very small, about 6 inches or so. I thought he was very cute, so I picked him up and brought him into the house to show my youngest son, who was about 3 or 4 yrs old at the time.

My wife is absolutely no fan of snakes and demanded I get it back outside, "NOW!"

But my boy was checking out the little snake as it sat in my palm, and he seemed fascinated. He thought the little snake was cute too, and my wife mellowed fast and even she seemed to find the situation kinda nice.

Then, the little snake sprang from my palm and launched itself about 3 feet in my wife's direction. She let out a scream, which prompted my boy to follow suit and let out a scream of his own, and that was the immediate end of his fascination with snakes.
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BigFrank Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

A creepy-lookin snake? Are there cute-lookin snakes?

I have never understood how so many people fail to see the incredible beauty of these fascinating creatures.

Cheers. - Frank
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thunderbird

9 years ago

If that is a garter snake, it is harmless. I can't tell -- the pattern doesn't totally match that of ones I see in photos. Anyway, if it isn't a garter snake, maybe it isn't so harmless.

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HeySal

9 years ago

Originally Posted by thunderbird

If that is a garter snake, it is harmless. I can't tell -- the pattern doesn't totally match that of ones I see in photos. Anyway, if it isn't a garter snake, maybe it isn't so harmless.

There's only one poisonous snake in Michigan and it's a rattler -- and there aren't too many of them - and I never saw one in the 30 years I lived there. I think they're mostly in the northern wooded areas. If it wasn't a gardener, it was something else benign.

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Sal
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Frank Donovan 9 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

There's only one poisonous snake in Michigan..

Poisonous snakes aren't likely to be a problem unless you plan on eating one. Venomous snakes, however, should probably be avoided.
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- Dan Riffle 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Frank Donovan
  
  Poisonous snakes aren't likely to be a problem unless you plan on eating one. Venomous snakes, however, should probably be avoided.
  
  You're probably going to want to put on an athletic cup now, Frank.
  
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  BigFrank Banned 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  You're probably going to want to put on an athletic cup now, Frank.
  
  Why? Is there going to be a run on shriveled raisins???
  
  Cheers. - Frank
  
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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

There's only one poisonous snake in Michigan and it's a rattler -- and there aren't too many of them - and I never saw one in the 30 years I lived there. I think they're mostly in the northern wooded areas. If it wasn't a gardener, it was something else benign.

I've seen tons of them! All when I was younger and would take the dogs running in preparation for hunting season or while hunting. We found a whole nest of them in an old farm house footing that was field stone and cement.

Another, Dad's beagle Blue found while out hunting. It was all coiled up, shaking its tail and ready to strike. Dad had to shoot it to save Blue's life. He cut off the rattles and gave it to me as a souvenir, lol! There were 16 rattles, 8 on each side.

One other time I was running down our dirt road and stepped on a baby snake. I killed it.

I brought it home to show my dad and he told me I was lucky as heck that I stepped on it right behind its head and broke its neck because it was a rattler.

Oh, and my garden buddy, the snake, wasn't a garter snake at all. Seems he's a rat snake.

Terra

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HeySal

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

I've seen tons of them! All when I was younger and would take the dogs running in preparation for hunting season or while hunting. We found a whole nest of them in an old farm house footing that was field stone and cement.

Another, Dad's beagle Blue found while out hunting. It was all coiled up, shaking its tail and ready to strike. Dad had to shoot it to save Blue's life. He cut off the rattles and gave it to me as a souvenir, lol! There were 16 rattles, 8 on each side.

One other time I was running down our dirt road and stepped on a baby snake. I killed it.

I brought it home to show my dad and he told me I was lucky as heck that I stepped on it right behind its head and broke its neck because it was a rattler.

Oh, and my garden buddy, the snake, wasn't a garter snake at all. Seems he's a rat snake.

Terra

Where was that Terra? I've never heard of them out in the strip between Detroit and Saginaw at all, there were none between Flushing and Swartz Creek or in the Almont area -- but I know they are in the state....where were you seeing them??

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Where was that Terra? I've never heard of them out in the strip between Detroit and Saginaw at all, there were none between Flushing and Swartz Creek or in the Almont area -- but I know they are in the state....where were you seeing them??

This was in Lake Orion off of Baldwin Road where what is now part of the Keatington sub but used to be called Honda Hills. All of that area was undeveloped with lots of fields and hills. The coiled rattler was not far from the shores of Lake Vorheis closer to the Joslyn Rd. side.

The baby one I stepped on was on our Road, Mahopak. We lived on Mill Lake. These were all in the same area, within a 10 mile radius.

Terra

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HeySal

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

This was in Lake Orion off of Baldwin Road where what is now part of the Keatington sub but used to be called Honda Hills. All of that area was undeveloped with lots of fields and hills. The coiled rattler was not far from the shores of Lake Vorheis closer to the Joslyn Rd. side.

The baby one I stepped on was on our Road, Mahopak. We lived on Mill Lake. These were all in the same area, within a 10 mile radius.

Terra

Well, I'll be darned. I didn't know they were in that area at all. Now I wonder how many there were where I played in the fields streams as a kid. I was only a half hour away. Maybe I saw some and just don't remember. I don't think so though.

Well, so you know what they are - another reason to come out rock hunting, huh? LOL.

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thunderbird

9 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

There's only one poisonous snake in Michigan and it's a rattler -- and there aren't too many of them - and I never saw one in the 30 years I lived there. I think they're mostly in the northern wooded areas. If it wasn't a gardener, it was something else benign.

I'm cool with rattlesnakes. They have the decency to warn you before resorting to violence. I've been places where venomous snakes jump from trees and attack without warning.

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sbucciarel

Banned 9 years ago

I'm proud of you Terra. That's a pretty little rat snake, judging by the name of the image file you posted, and true to their name, they eat primarily rodents.

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

I'm proud of you Terra. That's a pretty little rat snake, judging by the name of the image file you posted, and true to their name, they eat primarily rodents.

Thanks Suzanne.

As long as he doesn't think I'm a rat, we'll get along just fine, haha!

Terra

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anynewsbd

9 years ago

Joke was nice

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bizgrower

9 years ago

Maybe not a meaningful relationship, but maybe he'll eat all the spiders and other undesirable critters.

Maybe a Heron or two will land to help with voles and other critters.

My boss threw his back out using Quikrete to plug the holes that garter snakes were using in his rock retaining wall. LOL

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BigFrank

Banned 9 years ago

I found a snake in my bed, once. It was extremely poisonous. I got rid of it, but the alimony is killing me.

Cheers. - Frank

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lovekettylove

Banned 9 years ago

[DELETED]

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by lovekettylove

unblessed snake.
how you guess terra
the snake is
"He" or "she".

Just like people take the liberty to call their vehicles "She", I take the liberty of calling snakes "He".

Terra

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WalkingCarpet

Banned 9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

Just like people take the liberty to call their vehicles "She", I take the liberty of calling snakes "He".

Terra

Same way everyone names hurricanes after women.

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet

Same way everyone names hurricanes after women.

E-Hem!

Hurricane Andrew in 1992
Hurricane Ivan in 2004
Hurricane Charley in 2004
Hurricane Ike in 2008
Hurricane Mitch in 1998
Hurricane Gustav in 2008
Hurricane Igor in 2010
Hurricane Humberto in 2007
Hurricane Floyd in 1999
Hurricane Dennis in 2005

Need I go on?

Terra

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Claude Whitacre

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

E-Hem!

Hurricane Andrew in 1992
Hurricane Ivan in 2004
Hurricane Charley in 2004
Hurricane Ike in 2008
Hurricane Mitch in 1998
Hurricane Gustav in 2008
Hurricane Igor in 2010
Hurricane Humberto in 2007
Hurricane Floyd in 1999
Hurricane Dennis in 2005

Need I go on?

Terra

Terra; Those are all woman's names.

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MissTerraK

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Those are all woman's names.

The practice of naming hurricanes solely after women came to an end in 1978 when men's and women's names were included in the Eastern North Pacific storm lists. In 1979, male and female names were included in lists for the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico.

Source

And just wait until Dennis reads what you just said!!

Terra

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bizgrower 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Those are all woman's names.

The same way it's five o'clock somewhere.

I've met a couple of guys named Kimberly.

Dan
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bizgrower

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

Just like people take the liberty to call their vehicles "She", I take the liberty of calling snakes "He".

Terra

Why is a Ship Called She

From Yahoo answers:

It depends on the culture and on the contents of the person's subconscious. In my language (Spanish), most nouns are gendered: a table is feminine (La Mesa), and a car is masculine (El Carro). In English most nouns are genderless, (The table, The car).

In respect to what you are referring to, psychoanalysis studies this kind of associations and find an explanation in the "collective unconsciuos". Basically, to the subconscious mind, any vessel, ship or container is "feminine" despite lacking any sexual organs, because there is a primal association between any containers and the maternal womb. We began our existence in our mother's womb, and she gave us protection and care. Likewise, if you are a sailor your ship is like your mom: it carries you, there you get your food, and it protects you from the hostile weather outside. So the reason is simply a symbolic association in the subconscious mind.

EDIT: no, it is not a chauvinistic reason. Men do not carry their young inside them, women do. Besides, a "ship" in Spanish can be male (El barco) or female (La barca), and it makes no difference, they both mean the same. Remember also that old ships (before the industrial era) carried a female statue in front. I think it was done to make the sea (male) be more amiable to the ship.

jao_tuanis · 7 years ago

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MissTerraK 9 years ago

Originally Posted by bizgrower

Why is a Ship Called She

From Yahoo answers:

LOL!

I'm not goin' there, Dan, I am not going there!

Terra
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- bizgrower 9 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MissTerraK
  
  LOL!
  
  I'm not goin' there, Dan, I am not going there!
  
  Terra
  
  Probably wise.
  
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I found a snake in my flower bed today!

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